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Poll

Having AIDS is no wrose than getting a common cold?

I cannot agree more
2 (7.1%)
It's true; one must get on with his/her life
1 (3.6%)
Whoever said that should be stonerd to death
18 (64.3%)
It's one way to think about it; always think +ve-ly
3 (10.7%)
I simply don't care what others think
4 (14.3%)

Total Members Voted: 28

Author Topic: Having AIDS is so common that we should worry no more & get on with one's life..  (Read 4145 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline nick2046

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
A friend of a friend who has AIDS had unprotected sex with someone, he later told the victim he has AIDS, & 'comforted' him even if he was infected (they had unprotected anal sex), the situations ain't that bad.  They have drugs for it & it's no worse that getting a common cold; you have bad/better day when you're infected & there is no cure for the disease.

I disagree with his view & thought he was absolutely selfish, childish & irresponsible. Yet, what he said is not completely untrue....  but I'm uncomfortable that I cannot reason with him with an argument.  What is your view on this matter?

Of course, that poor kid (it's part of his fault too; takes two to tango) got tested & had his medicines/injection/whatever for it.  He's still alive & living happily with himself. 

Thank you.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2007, 11:17:26 AM by nick2046 »
And so it has been, and so it is written
    On the doorway to paradise
    That those who falter and those who fall
    Must pay the price

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
He should be stoned to death, or at least shit on for not disclosing before and doing so in such a cavalier manner afterwards (that's assuming that there was significant risk; i.e. more than a blow job). 

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline mjmel

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,069
The guy should be facing a prison sentence. Honestly, I think the kid should press charges. It is one thing to have risky behavior with others who think they are not infected. It is quite a different set of circumstances to know and proceed to infect another human being.
Get this piece of trash out of society so he doesn't claim another victim.
I didn't vote; too limited on options.
Where is, "I believe people who claim this are denialist." option. (i.e. extremely dangerous to others.)

BTW, good choice of words, Nick. That poor kid is a victim of a crime.
Your post indicates to me you are not HIV+. (...got tested & had his medicines/injection/whatever for it.  He's still alive & living happily with himself. ) ....although I don't mean to imply you are insensitive to the kids plight.
Disclosure is a must; not some casual choice.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2007, 10:05:40 AM by mjmel »

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
What is your view on this matter?

First and foremost I would say that person is mentally ill - specifically a sociopath - but that wasn't one of your options.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,430
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
That boy should be slapped all the way back to his momma, then his momma should be slapped to having the bastard rather than aborting him.

No worse than a cold? Tell that to the family of the man whose memorial service I will attend today.

"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline racingmind

  • Member
  • Posts: 236
With all due respect (and not taking the story told in the first post into account), the poll question is ludicrous.  

Anyone who is dealing with this disease knows all to well that even if you are asymptomatic, the psychological effects can be devastating.  You don't need anxiety medications or antidepressants to deal with the common cold.  And if you are symptomatic, well it's quite a bit different than simply having a cold.
Tested Negative: 5/06
Tested Positive: 9/06 
9/06: CD4: 442 (28%) VL: +100,000
10/06: CD4: 323 (25%) VL: 243,440
11/06: CD4: 405 (28%) VL: 124,324
12/06: CD4: 450 (29%) VL: 114,600
1/07: CD4: 440 (27%) VL: 75,286
3/07: CD4: 459 (30%) VL: 44,860
5/07: CD4: 353 (24%) VL: 50,852
7/07: CD4: 437 (29%) VL: 39,475
9/07: CD4: 237 (32%) VL: 372,774
10/07: CD4: 324 (27%) VL: 115,454 
Started Atripla: 10/07
11/07: CD4: 524 (?%) VL: Undetectable!
2/08: CD4: 653 (35%) VL: undetectable
5/08: CD4: 822 (40%) VL: undetectable
8/08: CD4: 626 (35%) VL: undetectable
12/08: CD4: 619 (36%) VL: undetectable
3/09: CD4: 802 (38%) VL: undetectable
7/09: CD4: 1027 (43%) VL: not tested
10/09: CD4: 1045 (43%) VL: undetectable

Offline Ihavehope

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
Can i suggest another poll option?

I would suggest "If it was intentional infection, tie him up to a fence and keep feeding him water, but no foods, and let him die a slow death. It's basically the same thing as having AIDS"
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline JPinLA

  • Member
  • Posts: 148
  • Cheers!
Absolutely REVOLTING.  That person is without conscience, care or reality.  In fact, it sounds like he was making a rationalization for doing something so horrific.  The scary thing is that he probably convinced himself and is merrily on his way to another unsafe encounter. Engaging in unsafe sexual behavior when knowing you HIV (and any other STD by the way) without disclosing to your potential partner is in my mind criminal.  

Things like this are so gross.  Ewww, I think I threw-up in my mouth a little.
11/06 - Diagnosed - VL/5784 & CD4 326
2/07 - VL/6000 & CD4 290 2/07
3//07 -Began Truvada/Viramune 
4/07 VL/undetectable and CD4 320 22%
7/07 VL/undetectable and CD4 286 22%
11/07 VL/undetectable and CD4 302 26%

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,277
Quote
A friend of a friend who has AIDS had unprotected sex with someone, he later told the victim he has AIDS

So a friend of the friend who has AIDS has sex, meaning we don't know if the person who had sex has AIDS, but he tells someone he has AIDS, and now we have a "victim" too...

Something here is not adding up. Who here is Living With HIV? I'm not completely buying this story.

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
When you consent to having unprotected sex, you consent to the possibility of acquiring a sexually transmitted disease.

I agree with Baquo here. Something is not adding up.

Also, not to be mean, but a poll? That's in pretty bad taste, considering the seriousness of the thread.

What do we win if we choose the right answer? I'll take a couple dozen T Cells. Or a can cozy.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline david25luvit

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
I'm with Basque and Jonathan....
Me thinks some thing stinks in Denmark (no offense to those living in Denmark)
and its not the cheese

But if I had to vote...
Stone the bastard! >:(
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,381
Nick,

I don't understand what this means:

"Of course, that poor kid (it's part of his fault too; takes two to tango) got tested & had his medicines/injection/whatever for it.  He's still alive & living happily with himself."

Nor do I understand why you would need to take a poll about this matter. If this is for real do you really have any doubts about it being an appalling situation?

As you can see from some of the reactions here there is some skepticism about what you've reported. Is there more to the story?

Please clarify.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2007, 12:11:45 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,244
  • Ninja Please
Like JK and Basquo Matty the Damned expresses a degree of some confuzzlement about this. Is this another simple "disclosure" thread dressed up as that tired old chestnut "I have a friend who . . . " That's usually code for something else.

And like others have asked, why the poll? What answers did you expect from HIV positive people?

MtD

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,280
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.


I would take that "friend of a friend" to a hospice facility, and let them witness first hand the final stages, of someone with aids. It may just change his mind, of what living with this "cold" is like.


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 12/10/14,  t-cells are at 350,  Previous 8/25/14--- 402/ Viral load remains <40

 Current % is at 13% / Previous 8/25/14 11%

  
 63 years young.

Offline aupointillimite

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,229
  • FUS DO RAH!
What, pray tell, is the purpose of having a poll done on this question?

Is anyone seriously going to take up a contrary position?  And if they did, I can guaran-goddamn-tee ya that it won't be a civil argument.

We've had this discussion on "whose responsibility is it to protect whom" to the point of bleeding eyeballs... and I personally don't with to rehash it.

Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Quote Nick..."Of course, that poor kid (it's part of his fault too; takes two to tango) got tested & had his medicines/injection/whatever for it."
................................
Huh?  What test....what medicines...what...the  f***????
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,244
  • Ninja Please
We've had this discussion on "whose responsibility is it to protect whom" to the point of bleeding eyeballs... and I personally don't with to rehash it.

There was a time when a disclosure thread around here resulted in a Security Council resolution and the sending in of Peace Keepers.

Ah, good times. :)

MtD

Offline aupointillimite

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,229
  • FUS DO RAH!
We've had this discussion on "whose responsibility is it to protect whom" to the point of bleeding eyeballs... and I personally don't with to rehash it.

There was a time when a disclosure thread around here resulted in a Security Council resolution and the sending in of Peace Keepers.

Ah, good times. :)

MtD


We need to bring back the CCCP.  They'd veto anything.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,999
What, pray tell, is the purpose of having a poll done on this question?

Is anyone seriously going to take up a contrary position?  And if they did, I can guaran-goddamn-tee ya that it won't be a civil argument.

We've had this discussion on "whose responsibility is it to protect whom" to the point of bleeding eyeballs... and I personally don't with to rehash it.




Mr. B. I'm afraid the "chicken or the egg" question of responsibility is going to be with us for as long as the site exists. Unfortunately, so will polls.

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,707

  I am the lone " I don't care vote" ;D ;D ;D.


  
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Jnm594

  • Member
  • Posts: 111
  • Fight! Fight! Fight the Good Fight!
Nope, I voted I don't care also simply because the hypothetical is irrelevant, I deal in reality every day and that is more than enough to deal with.

You remember the saying about if you argue with a fool then you're the bigger fool?
When it gets hard I always listen to my favorite song of all time..........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJEYu3KgWCE

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Quote
A friend of a friend who has AIDS had unprotected sex with someone,


A friend of a friend, who has AIDS, had unprotected sex with someone.

What a difference some commas make~
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,707
You remember the saying about if you argue with a fool then you're the bigger fool?


  Do I remember?  Shit!?!?  Who told me this...
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,707

A friend of a friend, who has AIDS, had unprotected sex with someone.

What a difference some commas make~

  Would it be better written like this?


  My friend has a friend who has AIDS and had unprotected sex.


  I think this is  perhaps better.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,244
  • Ninja Please
Mr. B. I'm afraid the "chicken or the egg" question of responsibility is going to be with us for as long as the site exists. Unfortunately, so will polls.


MtD
(Who felt this thread needed a macro)

Offline aupointillimite

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,229
  • FUS DO RAH!

Mr. B. I'm afraid the "chicken or the egg" question of responsibility is going to be with us for as long as the site exists. Unfortunately, so will polls.

Fortunately, stoning does not.

It's a rather nasty way to go... buried up to your neck with people throwing large rocks at your head....
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline BKNYLivin

  • Member
  • Posts: 76
Of course, that poor kid (it's part of his fault too; takes two to tango) got tested & had his medicines/injection/whatever for it.  He's still alive & living happily with himself. 
I'm assuming you are referring to PEP and everything turned out ok for the victim. No need for a poll, as others have said - unless there is something else you really want to discuss.
Diagnosed 9/18/06
10/13/06 - CD4:449, 33%,  VL:>500,000
11/20/06 - CD4: 392  VL:425,000
02/08/07 - CD4: 361, 16.9% VL:133,000
02/13/07 - Started HAART: Atripla
03/08/07 - CD4:401, 23.8% VL:643
06/05/07 - CD4:614, 33.6% VL:225
09/14/07 - CD4:612, 37%  VL: <50
12/14/07 - CD4:582, 38.5% VL:<50
4/11/08 - CD4: 658, VL: <50
3/5/09 - CD4: 847, 49% VL: <50
7/29/09 - CD4: 965, 50.1% VL: <50
12/28/09 - CD4: 925, 49.2% vl <50
9/16/10 - CD4: 1011 vl: <50

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,381
What's curious to me is the author of this thread has not responded to any of the remarks or questions posed by readers.

What's up, doc? 
Andy Velez

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
I'm at a loss as well. I didn't think the poll made any sense but the one choice kinda riled me. Who in the holy hell would compare being hiv'aids with a freaking cold? I have to agree with the others....What is that saying? Something in the milk is dirty or some stuff.

If my ex stepped to me with a lame excuse like that, don't worry it's like a cold, he wouldn't have to worry about hiv taking him out, I would. "OMG, my mind is boggled like being in a bottle or something." ;D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline nick2046

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
Thank you those who shared his/her thought with me.  I read what I wanted to read.  It wasnít much a poll to start with, there was never going to have enough options; everyone has  a different view on the subject; I just want to use this platform to see what others would think.
This happened to my boyfriendís best friend.  At first I was shocked, that someone could be so cold-blooded; then I was angry & it has been on my mind last few weeks.
I could relate to the story except I was in a long term relation (two years).   I, too, wasnít told that I was in risk.  After his death, his family didnít tell me either.  They all knew, the guy was on medication.  He just told me he had cancer, I didnít know better; I was just a teen.  I didnít know a man could be this selfish.  I only found out I was infected when I was in a coma & was hospitalised & tested.
I felt so guilty, as if everything was my fault, I wasnít careful enough & was too trusting.  Iím lucky that I found a boy who loves me & even stand by me when we learnt the truth.  I feel horrible as I feel I had destroyed his life too.  I met him a few years too late; but Iím glad I didnít infect him.
His best friendís story makes me think again, if it was really my fault or else?  Öbut I never slept around or abused drugs.  Itís so unfair; but I hate to be disabled both physically & mentally.  My bf & I are both very tire, he could leave me any time when he could bear it no more; but I canít, not in this lifetime anyway.  I must live under the shadow of this guilt for the rest of my life, this is like hell.  I tend to not think too much of it, but sometimes  this heartache just attacks you when itís least expected  from  the core. 
Oh, English is not my first language so perhaps I was unable to express myself clearly, but I tried.

PS. Yes it was PEP
« Last Edit: March 10, 2007, 06:54:24 AM by nick2046 »
And so it has been, and so it is written
    On the doorway to paradise
    That those who falter and those who fall
    Must pay the price

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,381
Thanks for getting back to us and clarifying things, Nick.

What is it that you feel guilty about? From what you have written I don't see that you have done anything wrong. But then I know from experience that ironically, sometimes someone who has been badly treated ends up feeling as if they have done something wrong. When they haven't.

How's your health now and do you have a good doctor?

Cheers,

   
Andy Velez

Offline Val

  • Member
  • Posts: 938
  • PraxitŤles -- Satyre au repos
Hey!
Hope you're doing okay in Denmark!  And thank you for the explanation.

Val
___
___
P.S. I knew from the beginning that it was only the language barrier and believed in you.
Arthus Bertrand
http://www.yannarthusbertrand.com/yann2/affichage.php?reference=TVDC%20YABFR084&pais=France
Ali Mahdavi
http://asyoudesireme.online.fr/index.htm
Richard de Chazal
http://www.richarddechazal.com/
Daniel Nassoy
http://www.danielnassoy.com/pages/galeries_portraits_2.html
Photography:
The word comes from the Greek words φως phos ("light"), and γραφίς graphis ("stylus", "paintbrush") or γραφή graphÍ, together meaning "drawing with light" or "representation by means of lines".

Offline Bucko

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,947
  • You need a shine, missy!
    • The Spin Cycle
Thank you those who shared his/her thought with me.  I read what I wanted to read.  It wasnít much a poll to start with, there was never going to have enough options; everyone has  a different view on the subject; I just want to use this platform to see what others would think.
This happened to my boyfriendís best friend.  At first I was shocked, that someone could be so cold-blooded; then I was angry & it has been on my mind last few weeks.
I could relate to the story except I was in a long term relation (two years).   I, too, wasnít told that I was in risk.  After his death, his family didnít tell me either.  They all knew, the guy was on medication.  He just told me he had cancer, I didnít know better; I was just a teen.  I didnít know a man could be this selfish.  I only found out I was infected when I was in a coma & was hospitalised & tested.
I felt so guilty, as if everything was my fault, I wasnít careful enough & was too trusting.  Iím lucky that I found a boy who loves me & even stand by me when we learnt the truth.  I feel horrible as I feel I had destroyed his life too.  I met him a few years too late; but Iím glad I didnít infect him.
His best friendís story makes me think again, if it was really my fault or else?  Öbut I never slept around or abused drugs.  Itís so unfair; but I hate to be disabled both physically & mentally.  My bf & I are both very tire, he could leave me any time when he could bear it no more; but I canít, not in this lifetime anyway.  I must live under the shadow of this guilt for the rest of my life, this is like hell.  I tend to not think too much of it, but sometimes  this heartache just attacks you when itís least expected  from  the core. 
Oh, English is not my first language so perhaps I was unable to express myself clearly, but I tried.

PS. Yes it was PEP


I avoided this thread because it's a minefield of potential disputes. But so many of Nick's premises are unhealthy to his continued well-being that I feel the need to at least pull the most obvious one out:

everything was my fault

but I never slept around or abused drugs

Itís so unfair

disabled both physically & mentally

I must live under the shadow of this guilt for the rest of my life

this is like hell


If you really believe that your infection is worth this much self-punishment and abuse, then I'm sure life is hell for you. The buzzwords of shame and regret are everywhere.

In order to survive more than 5-10 years with HIV, I firmly believe that it is your personal responsibility to jettison this useless mindset. You need to forgive yourself for being so whatever-it-was that caused you to be infected.

And you need to forgive your fate or destiny or whatever you call it (God, maybe) that has "unfairly" dealt you these cards. The virus is not an indictment nor a judgement of any lifestyle or decision one made in life. It's an environmental hazard of living on a planet full of creepy-crawlies, HIV not even the worst of the lot.

We'll all die eventually, it's the curse of being born. What matters is how your life was lived, not how it ended.

Brent
(Who sympathizes but cannot agree)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline Val

  • Member
  • Posts: 938
  • PraxitŤles -- Satyre au repos
I agree with Bucko in almost all the points he cared to perhaps shine a light regarding Nick's post.  From my point of view, though, I do think there is a very strong language problem here and would add the following:
When Nick says that  he is ..."mentally and physically  disabled..." there must be something related to his actual  state (healthy) after leaving the hospital.  He said he was in a coma after all!
Nick also says something about not being a slut (?) ..."never slept around and abused of drugs"!  Well, apparently he found out he was poz at a very young age!  How can you sleep around so much at that age?  And not everyone is inclined to do drugs when young anyway.
And then,  if on top of it all you still find yourself positive, there is a lot of space for guilty, shame and the like!

Denmark is not a country with a very strong religious tradition either.  Perhaps this is the case for Nick, but  I would doubt it!
Of course, only Nick himself can elaborate on this if he feels like and, perhaps, at  the same time give us a little insight of HIV infection in Denmark?

Val
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