Main Forums > Someone I Care About Has HIV

I can't seem to convince my ex-bf to take the test

(1/3) > >>

When I turned out poz I tried to find my ex-bf and finally found a friend that had a friend that had a friend etc that got him to contact me. I told him the news, and I told him that if I got infected when I thought I was infected, then he would not be at risk, but we're talking a two week period. I can't be 100% that I was not infected when I was with him, I'm pretty sure, but "pretty sure" is not enough.

It's been almost a month since i've asked him to take the test; I was relieved 3 weeks ago when he called me and he said he wanted me to go with him to take the test, but it's been 3 weeks and despite talking to him and asking him 3 times a week to take the test, it's not happenning. I even bought a home testing kit for him to use, he was supposed to come today to use it, but he's not showed up.

I'm getting worried, even though I'm pretty sure he's okay, but there is a slight risk. Last week he said he had a "cold", and he sounded like it was a real cold, not flu symptoms when he was on the phone, he didn't mention any rash or high fever, and he was sniffling that's all.

I'll go with him at any time of day or night to get tested, I have the homeaccess ready, what else can I do to convince him to take the test?


Andy Velez:
Milk, as much as you are concerned you may have to accept he's not ready to get tested.

Obviously he's aware of the situation and that getting tested is a good idea. You might consider saying something like, "What's keeping you from getting tested? Should I leave you alone about this now. I'm concerned about you but I'm wondering if I am just pressing you too hard."

Try any or all of those whenever your instinct tells you is the right time -- and then realize you can only press just so far about the issue.

See how he reacts to what you ask/say.

Youre being a good friend to him, but you may have to back off a bit about this.

Keep us posted on how it goes.

Thanks Andy

I'm not ready to back off, it's too important for me, but then again you may be right, I've done everything I had to do and I should let him go on with his life. Damn this is tough, I so care for him :( argh i have tears while writing this :(

ok i feel better i read other posts that made me laugh :)

but it's still difficult for me to not know his status and i so want to know that he's okay, he's not as lucky as I am in terms of money, access to treatment, etc, so I'm very worried :(

Well mixed feelings here..

He took the test and he's negative, so that's superdupergreat!!!!!!

This also confirms the timing of my infection, which is superdupergreat!!!!!!

But I feel even more detached from him now.. like he's in another world that I can't be in anymore.. strange feeling..

Oh well..

So salmon or veal tonight ???


[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version