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Author Topic: My Bf Past Away this Morning.  (Read 5770 times)

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Offline Zanarkand

  • Member
  • Posts: 96
  • All Your Base Are Belong To Us
My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« on: March 12, 2007, 07:15:19 AM »
Hey everyone, Jaryd has left us and moved onto the next world
I don't know how I am going to live without him, it's going to be difficult.
He was my everything....

How do I live without him?
This pain is immense
I miss him
So much
All Your Base Are Belong To Us

Offline mjmel

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,069
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2007, 07:20:30 AM »
So sorry for your loss and pain. Seems just a couple of days ago he came back from the hospital and was "fine." So sudden.

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2007, 07:41:18 AM »
Z,

Please accept my condolences on the passing of your boyfriend. My thoughts are with you at this terrible time.

Matty the Damned

Offline Ldn+

  • Member
  • Posts: 42
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2007, 09:03:38 AM »
Oh gosh I'm so sorry to hear that.  I know I don't know you but I feel for you.  Sending warm wishes your way.  Take care and I'm sure you'll find lots of support from us here.
28.02.07 -- Diagnosis
28.03.07 -- CD4 620 / VL 27,600
21.06.07 -- CD4 570 / VL 12,900
04.10.07 -- CD4 367 / 26.8% / VL 11,604
11.10.07 -- CD4 510 / 29.9% / VL 7,734
31.01.08 -- CD4 453 / 24.9% / VL 27,700 (Symptomatic)
21.02.08 -- CD4 395 / 27.4% / VL 27,000
02.04.08 -- Start Efavirenz + Truvada
15.05.08 -- CD4 509 / 32% / VL 78
12.06.08 -- CD4 557 / 28.6% / VL >50
11.09.08 -- CD4 744 / 35.3% / VL >50
27.11.08 -- CD4 798 / 35.5% / VL >50
19.02.09 -- CD4 726 / 36% / VL >50
21.05.09 -- CD4 654 / 43.6% / VL >50
02.07.09 -- CD4 558 / 39.8% / VL >50
02.07.09 -- Side effects on 1st combination. Switch to Atazanavir + Ritonavir + Truvada
13.08.09 -- CD4 686 / 40% / VL >50
10.12.09 -- CD4 901 / 37% / VL >50
04.03.10 -- CD4 704 / 35.4 / VL >50
20.05.10 -- Next results

Offline Ihavehope

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #4 on: March 12, 2007, 09:25:43 AM »
He is now resting in peace. He is in my prayers.

Hang in there Zan, no words I can say will make you feel better but we are here for you if you need to vent or talk.

Al
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2007, 09:54:22 AM »
I'm really sorry to hear about your BF.  It does seem sudden, but, in a way, that's not all bad.  Take care of yourself.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,398
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #6 on: March 12, 2007, 10:25:20 AM »
Zan,

Words can't express the depth of your loss.

My condolences on Jaryd's passing. My thoughts are with you.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline racingmind

  • Member
  • Posts: 236
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2007, 10:29:24 AM »
I am so sorry for your loss...your boyfriend's journey here on Earth has come to an end, but rest assured that he has begun another one in a better place...

you'll both be in my thoughts.
Tested Negative: 5/06
Tested Positive: 9/06 
9/06: CD4: 442 (28%) VL: +100,000
10/06: CD4: 323 (25%) VL: 243,440
11/06: CD4: 405 (28%) VL: 124,324
12/06: CD4: 450 (29%) VL: 114,600
1/07: CD4: 440 (27%) VL: 75,286
3/07: CD4: 459 (30%) VL: 44,860
5/07: CD4: 353 (24%) VL: 50,852
7/07: CD4: 437 (29%) VL: 39,475
9/07: CD4: 237 (32%) VL: 372,774
10/07: CD4: 324 (27%) VL: 115,454 
Started Atripla: 10/07
11/07: CD4: 524 (?%) VL: Undetectable!
2/08: CD4: 653 (35%) VL: undetectable
5/08: CD4: 822 (40%) VL: undetectable
8/08: CD4: 626 (35%) VL: undetectable
12/08: CD4: 619 (36%) VL: undetectable
3/09: CD4: 802 (38%) VL: undetectable
7/09: CD4: 1027 (43%) VL: not tested
10/09: CD4: 1045 (43%) VL: undetectable

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2007, 10:37:22 AM »
Zan,

I am very sorry for your loss.  Remember him for who he was, and what you had.  He will be with you always, may the little things remind you of him fondly......

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline ndrew

  • Member
  • Posts: 695
  • ....-.-.-.-.-.....
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2007, 11:06:38 AM »
Zan,

My thoughts are with you in this difficult time.

Luv and support,
Drew

Offline dtwpuck

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,013
  • дано мне тело, что мне делать с ним?
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2007, 12:02:10 PM »
Zan... my deepest condolences.

You loved him.  He left the world knowing that.  And while he is gone, and only time can take away the pain, there might be some comfort in knowing that your love for each other will be part of you forever.  Some day you will be able to smile thinking about him and not cry. 

As you move through the next few days and weeks, remember, it's ok to grieve.  And, it's ok not to feel guilty about living as well.  You might find some time to do a few things that you enjoy.  Go to places you like.  Talk to people you love.  Find a shoulder to cry on. 

Seek comfort with friends and family.  We are also here to listen to how you feel.  Everything in my heart goes out to you. 

You are in my thoughts. 

Scott
Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #11 on: March 12, 2007, 12:11:18 PM »
My condolences for your great loss. I hope you find comfort in this terrible time.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline sweetasmeli

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,052
  • Love what you are...
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #12 on: March 12, 2007, 12:16:41 PM »
My deepest condolences for your sad loss. My thoughts go out to you and Jaryd's family.

Melia
/\___/\       /\__/\
(=' . '=)    (=' . '=)
(,,,_ ,,,)/   (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #13 on: March 12, 2007, 12:28:53 PM »
Zan,

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. You and Jaryds family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline zeb

  • Member
  • Posts: 172
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #14 on: March 12, 2007, 01:08:49 PM »
Zanarkand,

It's so sad to hear your boyfriend passed away.
I wish you strenght and power in this difficult time.
I really hope you have loving and caring people around you.

Zeb

Offline Zanarkand

  • Member
  • Posts: 96
  • All Your Base Are Belong To Us
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #15 on: March 12, 2007, 01:22:08 PM »
Thanks guys for your support....
Jaryd believe in happiness til the end.
He was happy til the end.

It happened suddenly, Jaryd was about to be released from hospital.
It was fated.
We somehow both knew.
Reading his digital journal brings me some comfort as well.

His work on earth is done.

I just worry about how I'm going to live without him.
Time heals but... this one is deep....
has anyone else been through this to give me a word or two that might help comfort me?

All Your Base Are Belong To Us

Offline bravebuddharich

  • Member
  • Posts: 179
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #16 on: March 12, 2007, 01:38:55 PM »
I am so sorry to hear of your loss - the pain will lessen in time; give yourself full permission to fully grieve.

My first boyfriend, Paul, died of leukemia when he was 16 years old. He was in so much pain and was basically just a skeleton at the end of his days. Still, he was such a nice person, the nicest I've ever met so far this lifetime! I still miss him, though. It just takes time...

Metta,
Rich

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #17 on: March 12, 2007, 02:01:18 PM »
My sincere condolences Zan
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline Regretsafew

  • Member
  • Posts: 100
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #18 on: March 12, 2007, 02:12:19 PM »
I am deeply sorry for your loss. 

Hugs,

Joey

Offline Buckmark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,526
  • Would you like to tie me up with your ties, Ty?
    • Henry's Home Page
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #19 on: March 12, 2007, 02:16:16 PM »
I am sorry to learn of your boyfriend.  I cannot even imagine how painful this must be for you.  I wish I had some words to make you feel better.  Just allow yourself to grieve.  Although it does not seem like it right now, in time you will be able to go on again.

Hugs,

Henry
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline Bucko

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,947
  • You need a shine, missy!
    • The Spin Cycle
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #20 on: March 12, 2007, 02:20:31 PM »
Time heals but... this one is deep....
has anyone else been through this to give me a word or two that might help comfort me?


Zan-

I buried my lover in 1992.

Sometimes it seems so terribly long ago. I gradually picked up the pieces of my life and moved on. But I never really got over it, not completely. And I hope that I never will.

Why? Anyone who hasn't experienced the awe of loss on this scale will tell you that the only sane and healthy thing to do, after an "appropriate" time, is to "move on". And I did move on in a sense. It took two years for me to restart my career and another year after that before I attempted another relationship. If you had asked me how I was in 1999, I'd have told you truthfully that I was never happier. I was earning serious money, my overall health was sound, and I was passionately committed to my new relationship.

But in those quiet solitary moments I'd grieve and mourn the impossible little man I'd lost and loved so recklessly. It's still with me, that ache of loss. It's not regret (as I did everything possible to maintain his dignity) and it's not loneliness, as I have many loving friends and the support of my sister. It's like losing a tooth and having the wound never heal over. Sometimes I'll go for days, wrapped up in my current life, without thinking about him. Then without warning something will remind me of him, some minor context will bring him rushing back. This is occasionally painful, and the depth of this fifteen-year-old pain astonishes me in its immediacy.

But it is just as often a comfort to me. It is a reminder that I was once capable of loving someone with such ferocity that nothing will ever make it stop. He knew it then and knows it now. His spirit lives with me still, and the only loss I could not bear would be for his spirit to go away and leave me as his body did once.

You write of fate. I, too, believe deeply in fate although I remain unaware of the full consequences that my time here will bring. You can find comfort in a fate, in a grand plan that includes you and Jaryd in its design. And please believe that you are not alone.

Love,
Brent
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline Zanarkand

  • Member
  • Posts: 96
  • All Your Base Are Belong To Us
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #21 on: March 12, 2007, 02:31:38 PM »
Jaryd is with me, I know exactly how you feel.
It's strange, I think when someone dies they choose someone to "live" inside until they're ready to move onto the next world.

It really feels like he's still here.
With me.

Tell me, did you ever find love again?
It's a difficult topic for me....
Because I loved him so....

I don't know what to think...
All Your Base Are Belong To Us

Offline Bucko

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,947
  • You need a shine, missy!
    • The Spin Cycle
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #22 on: March 12, 2007, 02:39:32 PM »
I mistook comfort for affection in a relationship that dragged on, ultimately for nine years, until neither comfort nor affection were even remotely applicable.

Yes, I have fallen in love. But I am reckless with my heart. Sometimes it works OK, sometimes it's just silly. But the ability to love is not predicated on loss unless you turn inward to bitterness. In my mind, such an action is much more reckless to the soul than any longing for love.

Brent
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline gregftl

  • member
  • Member
  • Posts: 204
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #23 on: March 12, 2007, 02:46:54 PM »
may i ask what exactly took him?

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,710
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #24 on: March 12, 2007, 02:47:09 PM »
Zan, my condolences and best wishes for you to get through this very sad time as well as possible.

We're always here to talk with you.

Andy Velez

Offline cmhjeff

  • Member
  • Posts: 870
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #25 on: March 12, 2007, 03:44:48 PM »
Zan - I'm so sorry to hear about your boyfriend. I understand how you feel and how empty and alone you must be feeling. At 22 I lost my first boyfriend Pedro. We met when I was 21. He was originally from Manati Puerto Rico but had moved to Ohio and was living with his aunt.  He had known of his status when we met and never told me. He infected me but there's no anger now because I loved him and he loved me. My family loved him and to the day my Mom believes he waited for her because shortly after she got to our apartment she told him it was okay to let go and that's what he did.So you see it's been 15 years but I remember every minute. I remember how he could dance and I remember him modeling that whit tuxedo in a wedding show. He's still with me and I believe he is happy to see me happy and in love again today. It was never easy but I spent time with family and friends and also took a trip so i could have some alone "me" time. Crying helped but time and knowing that I was there for him those final weeks is what ultimately got me through it.

Take care of yourself
Jeff

Offline shepsmom

  • Member
  • Posts: 38
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #26 on: March 12, 2007, 04:35:18 PM »
Zan, First let me say, I'm so sorry for your loss. It must have been painful to even write the post.
 My husband died four months ago. He was my best friend and I knew him for most of my life.
I miss him desperately. I'm still grieving the loss and there really isn't anything anyone can say to comfort me.
I find that keeping busy keeps me from dwelling on it. But, at the same time, I WANT to make time to think about him and talk about him.
This may sound silly but try to limit the amount of time you spend grieving each day. After a week or two of grieving pick a time and sit down and cry if you want to. Look at pictures of the two of you together or call someone and talk about him but set a time limit and-put it away- .

I wish you well. My thoughts and deepest sympathy are with you.

Offline frenchpat

  • Member
  • Posts: 516
  • Love your friends, don't eat them.
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #27 on: March 12, 2007, 07:03:02 PM »
Zan,

I am not sure what to say other than that you and your boyfriend are in my thoughts.

take care,

Pat
People have the power - Patti Smith

Offline tigger2376

  • Member
  • Posts: 462
  • too bad to die youngish!
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #28 on: March 12, 2007, 07:57:43 PM »
All my love
x
I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!

Offline pozniceguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,177
  • Niceguy Dallas
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #29 on: March 12, 2007, 08:00:32 PM »
Losing a loved one is always a difficult time for us...unfortunately for many of us it occurs too often...My prayers are with you and for him...always remember the good times...they will carry you a long way.

Nick
remember the good times...honor the past but don't live there
Le stelle la notte sono grandie luminose, nel cuore profondo del Texas

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,162
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #30 on: March 12, 2007, 08:13:59 PM »
Dear Zan,

My deepest condolences go out to you, during this difficult time. I am so sorry, to hear of your loss.


My thoughts are with you-------Ray




Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 8/2514,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline milker

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  • Protected phone sex
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #31 on: March 12, 2007, 08:39:00 PM »
Stay strong

luv
xxx
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Bizzaretwist

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  • Posts: 14
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #32 on: March 13, 2007, 12:50:34 AM »
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  I can't even imagine how painful it must be.  All my best to you.   

Andrew
Previously known as: PozinMass
Diagnosed: 8/2003
CD4 = 500-800
CD4% = 32-38  VL=<48
Not on meds yet..

Offline egello

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  • cb
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #33 on: March 13, 2007, 01:14:04 AM »
i am so sorry and can't imagine what you must be going through....
Reyataz / Norvir / Truvada/ Androgel 5 g / 2 days
1/29/07 14 T, 300 k V, 1.8 %
2/22/07 197 T, 247 V, 6.8 %
3/27/07 164 T, <50 V, 5.4 %
5/28/07 177 T, <50 V, 8.2 %
7/28/07 214 T, <50 V, 9.6 %
10/3/07 380 T, <50 V, 10 % no more Mepron, Famvir

Offline gaysaywhat

  • Member
  • Posts: 11
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #34 on: March 13, 2007, 01:17:27 AM »
I'm soooo sorry.

Offline BKNYLivin

  • Member
  • Posts: 76
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #35 on: March 13, 2007, 03:53:03 AM »
My sincere condolences - my thoughts are with you and Jaryd's family.
Diagnosed 9/18/06
10/13/06 - CD4:449, 33%,  VL:>500,000
11/20/06 - CD4: 392  VL:425,000
02/08/07 - CD4: 361, 16.9% VL:133,000
02/13/07 - Started HAART: Atripla
03/08/07 - CD4:401, 23.8% VL:643
06/05/07 - CD4:614, 33.6% VL:225
09/14/07 - CD4:612, 37%  VL: <50
12/14/07 - CD4:582, 38.5% VL:<50
4/11/08 - CD4: 658, VL: <50
3/5/09 - CD4: 847, 49% VL: <50
7/29/09 - CD4: 965, 50.1% VL: <50
12/28/09 - CD4: 925, 49.2% vl <50
9/16/10 - CD4: 1011 vl: <50

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #36 on: March 13, 2007, 08:35:39 AM »
So sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Hang in there.
Positive since 1985

Offline Peter6836

  • Member
  • Posts: 391
  • Me and my Granddaughter Noa
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #37 on: March 13, 2007, 09:12:41 AM »
So sorry to hear about this, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Peter

Offline budndallastx

  • Member
  • Posts: 463
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #38 on: March 13, 2007, 10:57:42 AM »
Deepest Condolences...

Tom
Meds since: 11/20/2006
Sustiva / Truvada
12/08/2008 VL:<48 CD4 622 (38%)   
9/8/2008 VL:<48 CD4 573 (30%)
5/2008 VL:<48 CD4 464 (30%)
1/2008  VL: <50  CD4 425(28%)
9/2007   VL: <50  CD4 465 (27%)
6/2007   VL: <50   CD4 443 (26%)
3/2007  VL: <50   CD4 385 (25%)
12/2006 - VL: <50   CD4: 384 (25%)
11/2006 - VL:  22K  CD4: 208 (18%)

Offline gvolts5

  • Member
  • Posts: 38
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #39 on: March 13, 2007, 12:26:01 PM »
Dear Zan -

Take good care of yourself right now.  Your boyfriend might be right there with you, invisible, in spirit form.  He might need you to cheer him up a little. 

And who knows how many other souls you can contact and make it through this by way of some kind of spiritual communion.

If you believe in that, if you want that.  You may be just fine on your own too.

much,
John


Offline Zanarkand

  • Member
  • Posts: 96
  • All Your Base Are Belong To Us
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #40 on: March 14, 2007, 02:26:45 AM »
I don't know what to do, I'm so confused in everyday life.
I feel like I'm going to die.
I'm concidering seeing a hypnotist after the funeral.
I don't want to be sad everytime I think of him.
I want to be able to think about him and remember the good times and be happy about it....
All Your Base Are Belong To Us

Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #41 on: March 14, 2007, 02:54:57 AM »
I can only tell you, we are standing next to you in this terrible loss. Fell free to feel. Feel free to cry, feel free.

HUG for you

Alex
Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #42 on: March 14, 2007, 09:14:45 AM »
Sorry for your loss...Even though he is no longer here, he will be with you always in your heart and lil things you may notice around you...I wish there was something I could say to ease the pain....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline JPinLA

  • Member
  • Posts: 148
  • Cheers!
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #43 on: March 14, 2007, 11:30:08 AM »
I'm so sorry to hear about your boyfriend and I am sending you my thoughts and prayers.  Let yourself grieve and give yourself time. 

Sending Love - JP
11/06 - Diagnosed - VL/5784 & CD4 326
2/07 - VL/6000 & CD4 290 2/07
3//07 -Began Truvada/Viramune 
4/07 VL/undetectable and CD4 320 22%
7/07 VL/undetectable and CD4 286 22%
11/07 VL/undetectable and CD4 302 26%

Offline Christine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,069
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #44 on: March 14, 2007, 11:43:29 AM »
I am so sorry for your loss. May peace be with you.
Christine
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline fred40

  • Member
  • Posts: 15
  • Strength in numbers
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #45 on: March 14, 2007, 12:39:05 PM »
Sorry to hear the news about your boyfriend.  My prayers are with you.

There is not much one can say at a time like this to ease the pain.  I will tell you though, that I have gone through this painful situation almost three years ago.  It seems impossible at first that life can continue on, but I can tell you with 100% assurance, that it does.   And as time goes by it will get easier.  One thing we should all know is that we never know what life is going to bring us tomorrow.  I truly believe that God will not give us more of a challenge than we can handle.  So please mourn your loss as needed and believe that life will continue and bring many things to come (GOOD and bad) and that we will be able to handle it.  Take care of yourself.  God bless.

FJD

Offline david25luvit

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: My Bf Past Away this Morning.
« Reply #46 on: March 15, 2007, 04:06:47 PM »
Z....

       Your post reminds me of my own over two years ago when my baby died.   I understand your grief believe me....and right now
the pain is immeasurable...I know.  I am so sorry for your loss.  Losing your other half is like losing a part of yourself....like an open
wound that will take time to heal.  Don't make the same mistake I made and consider doing anything foolish.  Try to find someone
to whom you can talk to....don't be afraid to cry...and don't grieve alone...If you need someone to talk to....I am here.  Just send me
an IM or contact me directly by email....  Grieving is a process (believe it or not) and it takes time.  There were two people here on
the forum who were instrumental in helping me keep my sanity while going thru the initial stages....

You have my deepest sympathy.  Hang in there good buddy.............
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

 


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