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Advice for potential serodiscordant couple...

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Dear Minh

The advice you've read so far sounds pretty solid. As you have met me and my hubby this past weekend, I think that you've seen we're a very loving couple. He is neg and I am poz. The things that bind us are of love of one another over time but also similar interests. As you and Zeph were with us on our great weekend, you saw us interact in several different social aspects. My partner and I share many different interests and also have our own. Above all we respect each other. Our moods, our needs, our whims, our fancies.
Over my life I've had several partners. Wade respects me, honors me and holds me special in a way none have before. I too love him for exactly for who he is.

As you navigate through this exciting and nervous time always remember how special you are and the many gifts you bring to those who love you. If for some reason it doesn't work out this time, have faith that in time it will. The man of your dreams will find you and you will find him. Until that day please keep on being the kind, loving, sensitive man you are. I am so  much richer for knowing you.


Thanks everyone -particularly DB- for the fabulous advice and I agree Biggums...being in love is a wonderful thing -I didn't even realize it until you mentioned it. I really hope it works out too Teresa and it's so nice to recieve advice from someone who's neg. Thanks Paul for sharing, you have no idea what it means for me. To be honest, I was curious if Wade was neg and wanted to talk to you about what it's like, but I didn't want to appear intrusive. I'll keep everyone's advice and wishes in my mind during my next rendezvous :-*

OK, so it may sound out of the blue but you may be asking why I'm "revisiting" this topic. It's actually not a revisit, but an update. So this guy that I'm interested in got the news yesterday that he is positive  :( (and before you start thinking it's from me, it's not...we haven't even gotten to first base!). When he revealed to me, i told him "well you know what? I'm positive too" and he was so surprised and didn't want to believe me at first. Is this destiny fulfilled? Were we destined to be together? Honestly, I am angry for him, upset like he is and wish I could just tell him that everything will be alright and that I would help him every step of the way to get through this; yet I feel somewhat relieved after hearing this news because perhaps this will give us a better chance? Yes, I'm selfish and an awful person for feeling that. We caressed and cried a little before our other friends came downstairs (2 of which knew because he revealed his status to them first). To add on a complication, a friend of his who's staying with him temporarily before getting his own place is really attracted to him but the feeling is not mutual...his heart is set on me??? :) This friend of his has become a severe handicap for him because he feels obligated to be his one and only friend since the guy is new in town, being his chauffeur, his confidant, his everything but right now, he needs to be with me and his other friends who don't want to use him and help him through this. I just hope that we'll get to have a chance to talk ALONE before he does something rash like go on a shopping spree or lord knows, maybe something reckless  :-\

Joe K:
Hey Minh,

If you had wished for him to be positive, well that would have been wrong.  For you to be relieved that maybe HIV won't be so much of an issue, is perfectly normal.  We all know that relationships, even without HIV are crazy, so why add any more variables.  I was actually dating a neg guy, when I got my news and when I told him, the first thing he said was "I don't think either of us needs to be alone tonight."

My point is that you just need to take time with him, to support him and maybe start some dialog.  You really like this guy, so what are you waiting for?  Forget the new friend for a moment, because if this guys is really into you, it's you he will want to spend time with, so make some plans, lots of plans.

A truth in life is that often when loves comes around, you better grab hold and hold on for dear life.  Don't miss your chance at the brass ring.

My crystal ball says Mr. Right will call you on the phone within the next 2 hours
 :D   ;)   8)

There's chemistry, and you have a wealth of HIV knowledge to help him through trying times that he'll certainly face

That other dude (the new guy in town) - He's overmatched!

Wish I could wager money on this, it's so clear to me


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