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My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus!! (thanks Jimmy)

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So, there are many of you who are familiar with me and my current challenges.  One of the things that has kept me from you guys is the fact that I hate sharing the bad times with anyone, outside of my immediate physical life.  To tell you the truth, I am a very private person most of the time, not ever letting anyone know that I might not be doing all that good on the inside.  I share historical things here, and also things about my work in HIV, but in the end, I really have never told you very much about my very personal struggles with this disease. 

The weather here in Arizona is fantastic, with the days rising to the 98 to 107 range, with a humidity factor of 9%.  How do I know this, well I am so glad you asked.  One of my worst days, which started at 12:30 am, and lasted the rest of the night on the toilet, barfing to beat all hell.  I had to continuously drink water, to keep something in my stomach to throw up.  I will not tolerate dry heaves, I just am not strong enough for that strain on the body.  Been there, done that!!! (Thank you Crixivan. :( )   Well, my sweetie was gone about ten hours to work, and came home with this huge smile on his face and handed me a new electronic weather station.  Just the thing I needed to pick up the day and give me a handle on the natural forces of the earth.  I am a fan of the weather, ever since we used to sail on the San Francisco bay, one of the most challenging bodies of water to sail on the globe. 

I still don't know if there is any change in either direction, with my viral load, and I am hoping that this Trizivir will work.  I think I can get my body used to the nausea, and if not, I'll try something else.  I am also having the muscle and joint pain that I experienced the first time around with AZT, but then the dosage was far greater, and I am hoping that my body will also be able to tolerate this smaller amount of pain.  I am never again going to tell someone, newly diagnosed that the medicines are not a ROYAL pain in the ass, 'cause they are Blanche, they are!!!

I see Dan is making the very painful decision to stop his medication, and I applaud his bravery and his outright boldness, to accept, and act on the feelings of his heart.  That is one very special person that can do that, give us a peek into the process, and still be generous enough to share with us here on  Please check in on his thread, because you are witnessing one of the most difficult and hellacious decisions that any one of us might be called on to make at some point or another.  I have had many friends have to make the same decision, and it is never, never, easy, or without a huge amount of internal pain.  Please keep him in your thoughts; that really makes a difference to him.

Today was not too special, and started again at about 2:30am, but I was able to get a few minutes of sleep between then and 4:00am, when we rise for our morning coffee, and visiting time.  My sweetie leaves the house at about 5:30am.  I did have to go to town, (6 miles) to pay the car insurance, and just as I decided to go to a store just to take some time to cruise the "stuff" a horrible pain came on in the stomach and I had to hurry home to have my fifth bout of diarreah for the morning.  Gee such a fun time.  I haven't been able to eat the same as usual, and while I want to loose a few pounds; I would not want to do it because I have no appetite, or just can't keep it down.  Decisions, Decisions!  Isn't HIV just a laugh-riot.  NOT

Well, like I said, I don't particularly like doing this, but it had to be done, as there are some here who do give a damn, and I thank them for that. 

In Love.

But Jebus, loves you...  And so do I...  Fucking Lutherns! ;D  I guarantee you my feet can kick your feets stink any day... Come on!

I can empathize. I started tmc 114,truvada,and norvir two weeks ago. everything was ok till last thursday when I got really,really tired. Then I woke up at 2am sat night with the dry heaves. Finally after three hours of dry heaves I was able to puke something up. Refried beans. Disgusting,but sure was good on the way down. Anyways I was sicker than shit all day sat and sunday and am just in a good ole haze today. I know its the fucking gilead drugs,they always make me sicker than shit.
What kind of poison do they have you on these days?

Gee Moffie

I wish there was something i could do to make all this go away and make ya feel better. Hope it makes ya feel a

little better knowing that there are so many of us that DO care!

Love ya

Yes Tim...I DO give a damn. I hope your feeling better real soon!


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