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Author Topic: Please help me and my love  (Read 1794 times)

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Offline bsboy

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  • New Years 06
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Please help me and my love
« on: March 07, 2007, 10:42:12 PM »
 ???  My partner and I recently found out that we were HIV +. it was April, 06.  After a Horrible sickness, and a couple DR later the news came down the line.  The unfortunate part for us was, how to cope, what to do, where to turn.  You see, just weeks prior to finding out our status.....we had decided to move from Boston, MA to NC... now what to do, you see, we are both divorced, 5 kids between us, and had given our notice or completely done work at the time of us finding out.  We gave our notice with our landlord, and pretty much were left hanging as to what to do. should we try and stay or still go?  A long story short, we made the wrong decision to go ahead with our plans to Pick up stakes, move 800 miles away from our "comfort" zone and try and not only start a new life, but a new life now knowing the new news about our health.

Time progressed, we tried finding new DR, and found none that could compare to the care we were receiving back in Boston.  Thus adding more burdon to our already desperate state of minds.  putting me at a much more depressed state, Now what to do....

We had to  decided that in order to get the best Mental, and Physical care that we so need, we should be back in the MA, area, but also needing to be closer to my children in NH. The big dilemma, we are now unemployed, only temporarily staying with family, that is UN aware of our health conditions. and we have never faced the reality of what is the best steps to take, we just ran away.  Unfortunately for me.... I do not have the best in decision making capabilities, Thank God for my Loving, supportive partner, who has taken the steps to point us in the right direction, we have decided that we need to be back in the Boston area.  This has been exceptionally hard for me to except, you see my kids, ages, 15, 15, and 11, live in Central NH, 90+ miles from Boston, them not knowing about our status, I fear the pain it may cause them, you see we have made plans to live in the same town as them in NH. now jobs, health care and mental care just is not readily accessible for my partner and I there, leaving us with.....what is the best thing to do now???

Please offer any suggestions and support in anyway you may feel will be helpfull. We need a place to live, Jobs, only having one car, is tough! support systems, etc, etc, etc,,,,,

Thank you all ever so much,

We cant control the wind..... but we can direct our sails.........

Offline poet

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  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: Please help me and my love
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2007, 07:49:51 AM »
Bsboy,  I would bet the silence is from no one seemingly from the Boston area.  If you have access to the internet, start filling in the details.  I am on the Cape, so can access what you need, but can only be as useful as you can tell me, and perhaps others, what you work experience has been like, what your housing needs are exactly, etc.   Keep in mind that we are about to start the season here, so work options are cropping up all over the place.  Best, Win
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline Ann

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Re: Please help me and my love
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2007, 07:58:17 AM »
Hi BsBoy, and welcome to the forums.

Wow, what a year you've had! Moving house, especially moving so far away, is stressful enough without being diagnosed with hiv at the same time! My heart goes out to you both.

Your number one priority right now is your health. I'm afraid I can't point you in the right direction, but we have a least one other member here who lives in N. Carolina. Her name is Lisa and she may see this thread and respond, or you could send her a Private Message through the link on her profile.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help myself, but I'm sure there will be others who can. Hang in there... I'm glad you found us. Oh, and if you haven't already, check out the Welcome Thread where you can read about what all this website has to offer.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Re: Please help me and my love
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2007, 08:59:02 AM »
Hey man!

Welcome to the family... This place is AWESOME.

Now, to your business. If I were in your shoes, I'd move back right away to Boston, to get my health stabilized. Thihs HIV is a process. So the more confortable you feel and the safer you feel while you assimilate the news , the better.

Health, health, health. That is number 1.

Everything else is second

Take care

Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline ACinKC

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  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Please help me and my love
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2007, 05:33:47 PM »
bump cause it NEEDS it.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A

Offline Lis

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Re: Please help me and my love
« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2007, 05:48:58 PM »
come on kids.... there are alot of you from that part of the map..... .......

poz 1986....

Offline Buckmark

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Re: Please help me and my love
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2007, 05:57:21 PM »
Welcome, Bsboy.  I think you'll find a lot of helpful people here, who can give you
a spectrum of advice.  Unfortunately, I'm in Texas, so I can point you to any specific
resources in your area -- I can just give you moral support.  It certainly looks to me
like you are juggling a lot of heavy issues right now.  As Ann and Alex point out below,
your number one priority is your health.

You need to be taking care of your health, so you have the strength to tackle the
other issues.  And you need to be in good health to be a good parent to your children.
First things first -- one step at a time!


"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: Please help me and my love
« Reply #7 on: March 08, 2007, 06:05:33 PM »
On your profile, you mentioned one of your locations as Norfolk.

I'm from Virginia Beach.

Where in NC are you?  North-eastern? 

If you're close to the Hampton Roads area, let me know what you need, and I can look into it for you!

Edited to Add:  Do you live on the Outer Banks?  If so, you're not far from the whole of the Hampton Roads area... it's the closest metropolitan area to you, if you live there.  Definitely let me know... I've lived in that area for years and years and years and know some people involved with Virginia pride and HIV/AIDS stuff, and I'm sure I'd be able to find some things in the area for you.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2007, 06:08:56 PM by aupointillimite »
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!


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