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Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

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Recent Posts

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Off Topic Forum / Re: Weightlifting
« Last post by RobbyR on Today at 12:58:33 PM »
Hey everyone I am pretty into soccer and just signed up for our local gay men's soccer team. I am very tall, lean, slim build, just genetics, and I do plenty of cardio, running, etc, but I am wanting to bulk up and tone up some more. For several years in addition to sports and just regular random cardio, I have done bicep curls regularly with 10lb weights and now 15lbs. Doesn't sound like a lot I know, but I have read that it's not how heavy it is so much that counts but rather the consistency and number of consistent reps. Anyway, I guess you have to listen to your body, and I just don't feel comfortable doing extremely heavy weight lifting.

Also, I have a history of hemorrhoid issues, and don't want to aggravate them unnecessarily. I'm a little scared of doing very heavy weights for that reason. I am now trying 20lbs for my curls and lifts, seeing how that goes. I usually do 4 sets of 20 reps with my 15lbs, and in addition to that, I try to run every other or every 2 days for 1-4 miles.

Now I am trying to work on my diet, going for lean protein, cutting back carbs, and I have upped my coffee and pretty much cut out diet soda completely.

I have discovered that it's silly to try and aim for a perfect body, everyone's genetics are different, but I can strive for as good as I can make with my particular frame. I won't every be a bodybuilder or maybe not even ripped, and I'm okay with that, I'm just trying to make a lot of manageable improvements and tone up a bit without getting a hernia lol
Am I Infected? / Re: Worried about my first experience
« Last post by Jeff G on Today at 12:56:29 PM »
We do risk assessments for HIV so please work with your doctor if you have questions about any other test he may have done.

The best we can advise is to give you transmission modes for HIV along with testing and window period information.

The window period for HIV testing is 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again at 13 weeks to confirm the results, A negative test at 6 weeks past any possible exposure rarely changes. You can read about testing here...
Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI.Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Please Note.
As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.
« Last post by YODL on Today at 12:55:28 PM »

What you say resonates really well for me, and I wondered if you'd have any more experience or hints where to get more information on sleep irregularities?

Lately I have been thinking about my sleeping pattern. In short, something has happened gradually (and is still happening) since I got my diagnosis around 5 years ago. I have before diagnosis never had any issues with sleep, I have slept well, I fall asleep quickly when I go to bed, and most of all have always woken up feeling very rested and with lots of energy. But gradually this had changed and it has shifted to that I wake up drowsy and feeling unrested. This had been strange to me since I actually sleep at night, and maybe even 30-60 mins more than earlier, even though maybe I wake up during the night more often than before. I have come across something about changes in "sleep architecture" + HIV, although have not read much about this.

I have booked an appointment with my HIV doctor which takes a little while, and then he has to refer me to a psychiatrist which could take even a bit longer. My question, do you know if there is any way I could start testing my sleep somehow myself?

And an extra reason why your response is so interesting to me is that on a very few occasions I have had afternoon naps after which I have woken up and observed that I suddenly was feeling sharp and quick and had some strange glimpse of my old self for the rest of those days. But could never solve why exactly those naps worked like that.
Off Topic Forum / Re: Rough road ahead...
« Last post by skeebo1969 on Today at 12:50:58 PM »

The pain of not recognizing your wife's feelings is not as uncommon as you may think. I know it hurts. Believe me.

You can bitch all you want here but I agree with the therapy idea. I'm there myself. Maybe not for the exact reasons that you are facing but not far off either. People change and sometimes it is difficult to understand why. Time and emotions slide by without resolutions.

I just know you from here as a kind hearted open person who deserves a life of happiness going forward. I know you can make that work.

All I have to offer is a big hug. A really big hug.


Thanks Mitch, I really appreciate the kind words and hugs.

I saw her yesterday at our daughter's flag football game.  I really wanted to simply watch my daughter's game and cheer her on, while showing her mommy and daddy can still sit together.  I realize now this might be too soon to do so.

My wife made these comments, like "oh I'm trying to lose weight and the pounds won't come off fast enough!" and telling me she went out with a female friend the night before.

I don't need to hear this stuff.   It hurts.  When I made it back home I felt emotionally drained from having to bite my tongue.   I had to lay down and take a nap, of course, it was her who woke me up.  She came into the house like a whirlwind wanting to gather up all our W2 forms for taxes, and left with a cheerful goodbye.

It felt so good seeing her so happy...

These constant little stingers from her hurt.  I am fearful, and very afraid , because I think my wife is doing so much so fast that it's going to become something I can never forgive.  Breaking my trust is a big deal for me.  I'm not talking about sleeping with someone behind my back type trust either. 

Trust, in the way of:  I've got your back no matter what.   I doubt this very much right now.  I don't think that is something I am going to be able to get back.  At 47, why should I simply throw my life to the wind?  I'm worried that if she changes her mind about this I may not be able to.

What then?  Will she dangle healthcare and meds above my head?  She's done it before.

I guess I just wrote a laundry list of things to bring up with a therapist.  I want my little girl seeing her daddy not so sad anymore.  She caught me talking to myself the other day.....  I don't remember what I was saying but I think I was having a full on conversation with myself.  And, she asked, "Daddy are you talking to yourself?".

It was obviously very embarrassing.  We don't lie to each other so I had to admit I was.

I haven't cried yet today, but just typing that caused tears to well up... Okay I'm crying now.

Actually, I think you've been quite measured considering the circumstances.  You have every right to be upset.   As far as bitching,  let it rip.  You'll probably feel better.

With all that's going on, I'm sure the last thing you feel like doing is finding a therapist,  but I'll echo what others have said - it really helps.  I had an epic breakup 13 years ago,  and I don't think I could have made it through without therapy.  This is a big change in your life and having someone to help guide you through it can be invaluable.

Until then, known that lots of people here care about you,  myself included.  Things will get better, and you will be happy again.

Sending positive thoughts your way.

Thanks so much.   I will be so happy when I get to that point where I stop thinking about this.  I know it takes time.

Im glad you are here, so don’t you dare apologize. If we were not here for you during an awful time like this we couldn’t call ourselves a friend.

A break up like you are describing was the most painful time in my life and believe you me I have had some terrible times. I wont offer platitudes other than we are here for you. 

Thanks Jeff, I truly appreciate your shoulder brother.

Don't be concerned about bitching too much, I don't think you're bitching near enough.  Go ahead and let it out.  You're going through so much emotionally, please continue to communicate with us and lean on us anytime you need to.  You are loved and wanted here.


Thanks Betty.

When I initially read your comment (the day after you posted it), I cried like a baby.  Every time I came back to respond in the days after I cried more.   I cry now... 

I know in time, I will be alright.
Am I Infected? / Re: Worried about my first experience
« Last post by Scaredandanxious on Today at 12:46:35 PM »
Well I come with good news and a new fear... I feel extremely stupid once again.

I tested negative 11 weeks past the incident and I was so relieved. I also had a complete STD test done and everything came back negative which also made me very happy.

the guy I was seeing has since left me, (the day after I wrote my concern) because he said I stressed out to much with these fears of HIV and he wasn't interested in being with someone who didn't trust him enough and expected a retest to ensure both statuses. In my opinion that was a red flag and happy he's out of my life.

A couple days later, I met a new guy at the bar and we also hit it off. I explained my situation in full and he was completely understanding. We spent the month of January together and decided to make it official last weekend. We haven't engaged in any anal sex (even with a condom) as we are waiting since it's too soon to jump into this kind of stuff. Me and my partner are planning to have a complete STD test done after we've been together for 3 months, just to make sure we are free of any stds. We also agreed to only engage in anal with a condom until we are both ready, been tested and can agree on a monogamous relationship. He is now away for 1 month visiting his family back home in the Uk

My only concern now is that I tested negative for both the clap and gonnerrea but that was through a urine test. The nurse had said a urine test will catch any form of the bacteria as it always passes through the urine no matter where it is. Talking to a friend, she said you have to swab a throat for these infections too otherwise they can go unnoticed, which is extremely dangerous. The urine test only catches genitial. I then checked online and she was right :(

I had advised my doctor my throat has felt funny and after swabbing for the standard cultures so said my extreme depression and stress is the cause of that tight feeling and said it would clear once the scare was done. This was before I learned about the STD not being detected through urine if it's in the throat.

Obviously I am now completely terrified that I have had a throat std all this time and didn't know. I understand, that this now puts me at the highest risk, as unprotected anal sex. I gave my previous partner oral on Dec 15th (roughly) and my new partner oral 2 times and he also didn't ejaculatie in my mouth, but there most likely has been Precum. I am going to have my throat swabbed tomorrow, but I can't believe i put myself back at the highest level of risk after suffering for 12 weeks. I've read online this is the same risk level as unprotected anal without a condom (receiving)

I've advised my new partner and he's not concerned and said I had "done" all the right things in testing and of course this was an oversight. I'm concerned if he is HIV + (as he hasn't tested since his last physical 4 months ago) that I am now positive. I was lucky that the condom break didn't infect me but here I am again... I know oral is low risk (especially with no ejaculation) but now with a potential unnoticed throat STD I am doomed. What are your thoughts on this situation? I am just upset at myself as I thought I did all the right things. My conclusive test will now be in May.

Estoy infectado? / Re: temor posible infección vih
« Last post by Andy Velez on Today at 12:45:11 PM »
De nada.  A mi me alegre puedo ayudar.
Estoy infectado? / Re: Preocupado, posible infección
« Last post by Andy Velez on Today at 12:43:47 PM »
Estas preocupando absolutamente  innecesario.  Sexualmente solamente la copula vaginal y anal sin usando los condones son riesgos confirmados.

La leche materna es un riesgo solamente por un nene menos que 6 meses de edad.

Adelante con su vida sin dudas.  Punto.
Estoy infectado? / Re: creo que estoy infectado
« Last post by Andy Velez on Today at 12:30:21 PM »
El riesgo es solamente durante la copula sin un condon.

Nada mas con mas preguntas.  Si vuelves con mas sobre la misma situacion vas a ver su acceso aqui bloquado por 28 dias o mas.

Adelante con su vida.  Punto.
Estoy infectado? / Preocupado, posible infección
« Last post by polkiki08 on Today at 12:20:33 PM »
Hola, buenos días. Acudo a ésta gran comunidad para poder despejar mis dudas respecto a un encuentro que tuve y sus posibles riesgos:
Tuve un encuentro con una sexoservidora (desconozco su estado), no tuve ningún contacto sexual con ella, el único acercamiento  fue que tuve uno de sus pezones en la boca por un par de segundos (no succioné ni mordí, únicamente lo acaricié un poco con la punta de la lengua), posteriormente ví que ella, con muchos trabajos, se sacó una gotita de líquido blanquecino del pezón al pellizcarlo y "jalar" el pezón con los dedos. No tenía heridas abiertas en la boca en ese momento pero desconozco si tenía heridas en mis encías (en ocasiones me sangran al cepillarme los dientes o morder manzananas por ejemplo).
¿Qué riesgo tengo en ésta situación?.
Muchísimas gracias de antemano!
Thanks guys. I'll definitely look into getting a pill fob. I didn't know those were a thing. But I do always have my keys with me. It's good to know that it doesn't have to be the same exact time every day. The medication information stresses that point, so I thought it had to be on the dot. If I wait a couple hours it's good to know it's not a big deal.
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