Wolfie, I feel for you buddy. I know exactly what you mean... have had a touch of melancholia myself lately. I really do try not to look back too often, or too closely. I love and will NEVER forget the ones I have lost....but the whole thing was such a shitty deal for them, and why should we be blessed to carry on? Right now, I am living on a "take each day as it comes" basis.
Much love, Alan