The folks on this forum represent hundreds, if not thousands, of years of experience. Some are newly diagnosed and some are long time survivors.
Here is what you need to know:
This virus is manageable. It is not a death sentence anymore as long as you pay attention to it and get into treatment at the right time. You and your doctor will have to make the determination as to when that is right. (Many folks will weigh in with opinions, mine is to follow your docs advice.)
"And I've also heard the longer you stay off treatment, the harder it takes for the virus to go undetectable once you start. Can anyone support this?"
Not necessarily true. I was diagnosed with AIDS / PCP Pneumonia - CD4 of EIGHT and VL of 500,000 in 2010. I was UD in five months and CD4s had rebounded to the 300 range. I have been UD and CD's in that same range ever since.
The other thing I will tell you, in my own experience, almost 5 years into this, it's no longer on my mind 24/7. I get my labs done three times a year and see my doc and that's about it. I pay attention to my health more than I used to but life has truly moved on.