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Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Nextdoor_guy on February 13, 2013, 11:32:57 am

Title: Do you?
Post by: Nextdoor_guy on February 13, 2013, 11:32:57 am
Hey guys, I know that is not a subject that we should think often, but do you think how will you die?
If it will be AIDS related things or something else?

Watched lately Angels in America, and saw how much were suffering the people dying of AIDS and am wondering if I will go through same things.
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: Miss Philicia on February 13, 2013, 12:33:24 pm
No, I don't particularly think about it. And "Angels in America" for all it's good things, is very specific to the early years of AIDS and not relevant from a medical stand point regarding treatment for HIV in the year 2013. Most likely you won't die from HIV, you'll actually die from things everyone else dies from, meaning a laundry list of variables so long it's not productive to ponder. Sounds more like you're trying to find something to worry about because you think you "need" to worry because you have a virus floating around your body.
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: darryaz on February 13, 2013, 12:44:47 pm
I worry more about eating healthy, my cholesterol level and the challenge of forcing myself to exercise at least semi-regularly.  Everyone in my extended family who has  died in the last 50 years died of a heart attack.
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: mecch on February 13, 2013, 02:21:38 pm
Hey guys, I know that is not a subject that we should think often, but do you think how will you die?
If it will be AIDS related things or something else?

Watched lately Angels in America, and saw how much were suffering the people dying of AIDS and am wondering if I will go through same things.

I can be careless and or reckless in my life so I think I'll go from a traffic accident or maybe skiing or diving or some such thing. 

I thought about HIV and sickness and death when I got the bug several years ago, because my reflexes were based on living in the 80s. 

Now I know if something related to being HIV+ takes me down, it nevertheless won't be a death like "dying of AIDS" -- in the way many of us watched and imagined it.....

I know people still die hideous deaths of AIDS all over the world in 2013. But it's important to be realistic about one's own circumstances, and not to extrapolate from the past, or from popular culture, or from one's own imagination based on fear and misinformation.

I was close at hand through my father's terminal illness, which was gut-wrentchingly awful for him to endure, not to mention for us to go through. 

Terminal disease can be hideous.  There's always the chance any one of us might one day end up with a hideous terminal disease.  HIV doesn't have a lock on that!

(All my specialists have said HIV won't be my killer, but who knows what could be...)

Try not to take references from pop culture and the past about what your demise might be like. 
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: oksikoko on February 14, 2013, 05:33:47 am
Yup. Half the time dread it, half the time tapping my wristwatch impatiently.

You're not likely to suffer an AiA fate. Are you having some kind of health issues?
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: texaninnyc87 on February 14, 2013, 10:46:01 am
In 7 years Im going to be the sole survivor of a tragic plane crash and then die in the hospital after desperately clinging to life for weeks.
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: oksikoko on February 14, 2013, 12:09:43 pm
Wow. That's very specific. Is there a pop culture reference I'm missing? :) If it's AiA, I'm embarrassed. I saw it years ago, but I don't remember much. Actually I only remember Emma Thompson because she's a goddess. Oh, and  I remember something about tumescence, but I don't remember what it was I remember.
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: Fisher on February 14, 2013, 07:53:30 pm
Ms. Phillicia might find me annoying and bite my ears off!  Hope he knows I am sweet, except for the ears which are a bit salty.
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: weasel on February 14, 2013, 08:42:41 pm


 I will more than likely walk in front of a Cement Truck

                                                       Weasel
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: Dr.Strangelove on February 15, 2013, 10:00:12 am
I am convinced that the very last thing I am going to die from will be HIV.
It's 2013 and as long as you got access to decend health care there is little to worry about in terms of passing away due to that little bugger.

Even in the moment I received my diagnosis, I did not spend a second thinking about death. Even though at that time I didn't know anyone who is positive , I had some idea about the state of HIV medication.

That cement truck on the other hand is a justified worry. In most parts of the world a lot more people die in traffic accidents than due to HIV. When you leave your home, do you worry about getting killed in traffic accident? If not, why would you worry about something that's much much less likely to happen?


PS. Full disclosure: I don't have a fucking clue what "Angels in America" is
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: oksikoko on February 15, 2013, 10:05:05 am
PS. Full disclosure: I don't have a fucking clue what "Angels in America" is

AiA is a play. About HIV/AIDS. And people die. From HIV/AIDS.
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: weasel on February 15, 2013, 11:34:01 am


   My real answer ...........

    Well considering I'm 58  , have had HIV  over half my life  . Diagnosed AIDS ,
  I'm going with natural causes at the age of 93  :)

    I do think about That Cement Truck ........
      Yesterday my Mail man delivered  a package and asked " How the Hell do you get to your mailbox ? "   
   It is ACROSS  a four-lane  Highway  :o 
 I can see it from the driveway it's only about  150 feet across , But truly  a one mile drive to get the mail , So I do do the Super Dash across the road  ::)   

  Moving on with topic :    I don't think about what may be going on in my  body too much . I did Watch a Fabulous Movie the Doctors made of my Gizzard on Wednesday  :D   It was fascinating  to see all my pretty organs .  Not  so much the Gaul Stones that were easy to see .
  I try to eat well , I do like my wine  :-X
 Still building on the house and working clearing garden spots , I  think it counts as exercise  . 
  Just so much to look forward to that living to 93 may not  be long enough for me .

                                    Wishing everyone a well and long happy life ,

                                                                  Carl 
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: Miss Philicia on February 15, 2013, 11:39:09 am
I thought AIA was this (http://www.aia.org/).
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: oksikoko on February 15, 2013, 11:46:55 am
I thought AIA was this (http://www.aia.org/).

The AiA moved their homepage here (http://) because "Angels in America" is too much words.






Edited by Ann to remove a link to a scam "make money" website. Oksi, please don't post stuff like that again.
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: denb45 on February 15, 2013, 11:56:31 am
Hey guys, I know that is not a subject that we should think often, but do you think how will you die?
If it will be AIDS related things or something else?

NO, I don't think of such things  ::)

Instead of worrying about how your gonna die, start fousing on your quality of life, and just what you'd like to do for the remainer of your life  :D

you can get hit by a bus and die, or shot to death in a drive-by in your hood just walking your dog....  WORD!


Hugs

DEN  :)
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: buginme2 on February 15, 2013, 12:00:50 pm
I am convinced that the very last thing I am going to die from will be HIV.
It's 2013 and as long as you got access to decend health care there is little to worry about in terms of passing away due to that little bugger.


PS. Full disclosure: I don't have a fucking clue what "Angels in America" is



I don't for a moment think about how I will die. 

However, this whole HIV is no big deal thing, just take your medication and you'll be fine is a bit simplistic and a little aggravating.

1.  It downplays the real and serious affects of the disease.  Yes HIV drugs are amazing and great however, there are still many complications HIV causes (even successfully treated HIV).  Maybe I am just a bit downtrodden lately because I have dealing with some shit but I can assure everyone, I have never missed a dose of my HIV meds and was diagnosed rather early and have access to healthcare that most don't and probably one of the best HIV doctors and clinics in the United States.

2.  It implies that people don't really die from treated HIV, and if you do then you must have done something wrong.  It's obviously your fault.  Which is shit.

By the way Angels in America is amazing and the HBO adaptation was outstanding. 
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: Ann on February 15, 2013, 12:12:30 pm

However, this whole HIV is no big deal thing, just take your medication and you'll be fine is a bit simplistic and a little aggravating.   


Yes. More than a little aggravating.
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: oksikoko on February 15, 2013, 12:39:09 pm
However, this whole HIV is no big deal thing, just take your medication and you'll be fine is a bit simplistic and a little aggravating.

I wrote about this earlier today in a different thread. The Reader's Digest version:

-
We don't need to scare people, but it's "a big fucking deal" (insert smiley of your choice). The one-a-day pills are giving a lot of people what I consider a false impression of what it's like to be HIV+. A culture of simplistic laissez-faire has grown up around HIV/AIDS, and I've participated in it myself. We don't have to think about HIV constantly, but it's kind of irresponsible for us to foster or endorse this idea that "AIDS is over".
-
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: Common_ground on February 15, 2013, 01:12:29 pm
Well maybe a big deal for some and for others not so much. Just leave it at that.
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: oksikoko on February 15, 2013, 01:15:06 pm
Well maybe a big deal for some and for others not so much. Just leave it at that.

This will make for a very interesting website.

"What do they talk about on poz.com forums?"

"Nothing."

"Oh."
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: Dr.Strangelove on February 16, 2013, 10:36:27 am
However, this whole HIV is no big deal thing, just take your medication and you'll be fine is a bit simplistic and a little aggravating.

Who in this thread said it's no big deal?
I said there is little to worry about in terms of dying.

Quote
Well maybe a big deal for some and for others not so much. Just leave it at that.

I think this is true. I'm glad and grateful that HIV had a rather small impact on my life (so far). Obviously it's not the same for everyone...
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: buginme2 on February 16, 2013, 06:34:19 pm
Who in this thread said it's no big deal?
I said there is little to worry about in terms of dying.


Your right you didn't say that.  Sorry for attributing my comment towards you.  I guess I'm just a little frustrated about a general sense that seems to permeate that HIV isn't that big of a deal anymore and everyone is doing great!! While many are, some are not. 

Even when you are doing great (such as myself) it really can be a pain in the ass.  Ive had five doctors appointments in two months and have a stack of medical bills on my desk.  even when your doing great, it sucks. Not to mention that people still die from HIV

Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: jkinatl2 on February 16, 2013, 11:13:06 pm
I rather think those who subscribe to that fallacy are the same people who get online, talk incessantly how awful the forums are when their problems are revealed as narcissistic non-issues (or revealed as far more dangerous issues involving substance abuse or borderline personality disorder,) then vanish the second someone, for example, posts a "forum unity" thread.

Only to return to monster the long standing members who actually give a rat's ass.

In short, they are trolls that disctract us from the real, legitimate pain of many of the forum members.

They are also lying to themselves. And poorly.

Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: oksikoko on February 16, 2013, 11:30:08 pm
I rather think those who subscribe to that fallacy are the same people who get online, talk incessantly how awful the forums are when their problems are revealed as narcissistic non-issues (or revealed as far more dangerous issues involving substance abuse or borderline personality disorder,) then vanish the second someone, for example, posts a "forum unity" thread.

Only to return to monster the long standing members who actually give a rat's ass.

In short, they are trolls that disctract us from the real, legitimate pain of many of the forum members.

They are also lying to themselves. And poorly.



This seems directed at someone in a passive aggressive kind of way, but the fact that it's not addressed leaves one (me) with a vaguely unsettled feeling, for what it's worth. I don't flatter myself to think you're talking about me. I'm saying it makes the air kind of uncomfortable and not very inviting from someone who I see as being an authority figure on the forums. Others may feel the discomfort too, and therefore don't post even if they want/need to.

Maybe it's my substance abusing, narcissistic, borderline personality talking.  Though people in all of those categories have a right to the forums as much as anyone else, no?
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: Dr.Strangelove on February 19, 2013, 10:28:27 am
Forget the cement truck! I got a better example.

If you are a smoker and also HIV positive, which if the two things are you more worried about will kill you?

Answer (http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_132384.html)


I guess we humans are not very rational sometimes.
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: buginme2 on February 19, 2013, 07:34:35 pm
Forget the cement truck! I got a better example.

If you are a smoker and also HIV positive, which if the two things are you more worried about will kill you?

Answer (http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_132384.html)


I guess we humans are not very rational sometimes.

how does that negate the seriousness of HIV? 
Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: jkinatl2 on February 20, 2013, 01:29:25 am
how does that negate the seriousness of HIV? 

I certainly hope that the poster was not implying that. One can have diabetes and HIV, and be dead from either without proper treatment and correct care - and fundamental lifestyle changes if necessary.

Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: jkinatl2 on February 20, 2013, 01:45:33 am
This seems directed at someone in a passive aggressive kind of way, but the fact that it's not addressed leaves one (me) with a vaguely unsettled feeling, for what it's worth. I don't flatter myself to think you're talking about me. I'm saying it makes the air kind of uncomfortable and not very inviting from someone who I see as being an authority figure on the forums. Others may feel the discomfort too, and therefore don't post even if they want/need to.

Maybe it's my substance abusing, narcissistic, borderline personality talking.  Though people in all of those categories have a right to the forums as much as anyone else, no?

I am sorry I am late to the party in returning to this thread. It goes without saying, or should, that I was not referring to any single person here - much less a new member who wasn't even the OP in the thread. If I touched nerves, then I am sorry for the tone of the message, if not the message itself. Sometimes the things that seem to lap out of thin air and wound us out of nowhere are likely the things we should be listening to most carefully.

We are, I think, moving towards a totally different paradigm in the USA regarding HIV. It is no longer a "death sentence," or even for many of us even a "sick sentence." It is, however, and at least for the next few years until long-term therapies become widely available (and affordable) a companion that, like it/admit it or not, will necessitate some fundamental lifestyle changes.

From the issues of financial stability, housing, access to care and treatment, to the underlying issues of mental illness, substance abuse, and self-destructive choices many if not most of us indulge in at one time or another - these things that would normally be rather small bumps in the road can easily turn dangerous, even deadly, when HIV is included in the mix.

And people like myself get routinely frustrated beyond the telling of it when we hear horror stories that simply didn't have to happen, and see very young people scrambling around trying to incorporate an HIV treatment into a lifestyle that is inherently hostile to such treatment - and who bristle, balk, and downright tantrum when the underlying issues that not only facilitated infection but also impede treatment are brought up.

Maybe I don't do it nicely, or gently. But frankly I like to treat adults like adults, and not infantilize or disempower them by skirting the tough issues. I would hope for the same treatment in return. Other than this exchange, I never interacted with the poster whose feelings were hurt, and I was - am - baffled that he would assume I was directing a post specifically at a single person.

In another thread, a noted and respected member of this forum discussed dignity. I find that being forthright and honest, to the best of my ability, without sugar-coating, IS a way to treat a person with dignity. I try to hold back quite a bit in the "just tested positive" forum because obviously people there are in a much more vulnerable place and might not be able to hear it. But when someone posts here, in Living With, I assume that they intend to live with, not die from, HIV.

That is a noble goal and worth the dignity of honesty. Even - maybe especially, when it is painful. I am sorry that the poster who was offended was in a place where he took my comments, which were general in nature, to heart. But perhaps that's exactly what needed to happen. A support forum that denies these important, critical issues is no support at all, but merely a resting place on the way to the grave.

Title: Re: Do you?
Post by: spacebarsux on February 20, 2013, 02:09:59 am
Hey guys, I know that is not a subject that we should think often, but do you think how will you die?
If it will be AIDS related things or something else?

Watched lately Angels in America, and saw how much were suffering the people dying of AIDS and am wondering if I will go through same things.

Hi Nextdoor, the first thing that struck me from your post was that this member is going through a mentally 'low phase' or is at any rate susceptible to entering a dark tunnel. It happens. Happens (or has happened) to all of us, I wager.

Angels in America was the trigger for you, in this case.

Poor mental health/ depression etc accentuated or caused by HIV has taken many lives long before their time was otherwise up and is probably a bigger concern in 2013 than the illness itself.

Take care of your mental health mate.