I feel like my life is over...

[Krissy87]

So, the ex got good news today. He went and got one of those rapid tests and he does not have hiv... I am so confused how is it that my baby is clean, my ex is clean and I have this s#!% I tested negative twice and haven't been with anyone but him in over a year how did I get this? Don't get me wrong I am over the moon that my baby is clean and I am happy for him that he is clean but I just don't understand how this is happening like this.

How do I move on with my life? I have two kids from two men and now I have hiv and don't know wwhere it came from...

Thanks for letting me cry and vent.

[Ann]

Hi Krissy.

As discussed in your thread in the other section of the forum, there's a good chance he's lying. I doubt that he really got tested. It's easy to claim you have tested when you haven't and it's just as easy to lie if you did test and didn't like the result.

It's no use asking him for paperwork to prove he's negative - it can be forged. The only way I can think of for you to definitely confirm his status is to get an in-home Oraquick test (you can buy them in drug stores or online) and have him do it in front of you - maybe at his mother's house.

There's also the chance that you haven't actually had the confirmation tests, particularly if you're in a small-town or rural area where the health care professionals you're dealing with don't know much about hiv. You need to get to the bottom of that.

As said in the other thread, false positive results can and do happen, and pregnancy is one cause, as is an underlying and possibly undiagnosed autoimmune condition. Sometimes they just happen. A Western Blot test should have been run to confirm or rule out a positive diagnosis. If this hasn't been done, it must be done ASAP.



Please don't think of someone being hiv negative in terms of being "clean". You're subconsciously putting the idea into your head that being hiv positive is "dirty", whether or not you actually say or think the word dirty.

You are NOT dirty. You (might) have a virus and that is in no way a reflection on your character. All it means is that you had unprotected sex with someone you loved and/or trusted.

Nearly every single adult on the planet has had unprotected intercourse at some point in their life. Those who remained hiv negative were lucky, and those of us who got hiv were unlucky. Not clean or dirty - but rather lucky or unlucky.

Hugs,
Ann

[Krissy87]

Thanks Ann. I am defantly going to find out about the other tests. But i dont want to give myself false hope.