I joined this site a while back because I thought I might have HIV

[Chasey]

I read a lot of the posts on here and tried to seek advice etc from them.

Turns out I am HIV positive. I'm also having big troubles with my boyfriend because of it, aswell as self esteem issues and general shock and anxiety, and the feeling of being alone about it all =/

I'm glad this forum is here. It gives me some sense of hope.

[lusopt]

But you already tested positive, or you just think that you are +?

[Chasey]

I have tested positive.

[mecch]

Sorry to hear the reason. But as you know, we all went through it so try to notice that at least here in the forum you are not alone. You'll see eventually in life you are not alone either. Its a shocker.

About the boyfriend, maybe get the two of you into couples therapy to work it out. Its a hard thing all alone, or just two, if the communication isnt so good. 

Just remember, HIV positive is VERY morally and emotionally loaded "identity" but as a sickness its just a stupid lethal annoying virus, and there are excellent medicines these days.  So if finally your BF can't deal, try try try not to take this a personal rejection, that decision will probably be all about himself.

About feeling alone - so what is your plan for finding support?

Best wishes!

[tag_man08]

A goal for now is to not be alone....you need to talk to someone....if your BF isn't ready to talk...then find someone who will....

The first few months into my diagnosis....I continuously wanted to be alone...but my friends would not let me.  They continued to make me go out, do some shopping, go eat, basically continue like I was before.  As much as I hated it....they were right all along.  Having some good friends is key right now.  If you don't want to tell anyone, this site will help you for sure.  There are lots of people here to help you with advise.  You are not alone.  This is just another chapter in your life right now.  It will pass. 

Just take this time to reorganize your life.  Your priorties have changed now, that's all.  You can still do all and everything you have ever dreamed.  Don't let the disease take over you....YOU are in control right now.