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Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: aaron1020aw on February 20, 2009, 05:24:33 pm

Title: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: aaron1020aw on February 20, 2009, 05:24:33 pm
I dont if I can live with this one more min. I just turned 20  found this out, my life is over
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: Assurbanipal on February 20, 2009, 06:05:33 pm
Aaron

It's a huge shock to get an HIV positive result.  But it doesn't mean the end of everything. 

Recent studies show people can live a long life with HIV if they work with their doctors. 

But there is a lot to learn about how to take care of yourself.  There's lessons on this site you may find helpful. http://www.aidsmeds.com/articles/Introduction_4702.shtml

Hope to hear more from you over the coming days

And -- if you think you might harm youself tonight, go to your local emergency room and talk with the people there.  Or call one of the hotline numbers.

Here is a national hotline number 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

A
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: Andy Velez on February 21, 2009, 08:08:58 am
Hello, Aaron.

We really do understand what a shock it is when you test positive. It can feel like the end of the world. But the many here, including some who are younger than you, can tell you that life does go on. And that it continues to be about much more than just HIV.

You'll find a lot of support and information here. Come here as often as you need to. Talk to us. And as A said, if you're thinking of hurting yourself, go to the nearest emergency room and let them know. No matter how terrible things feel now, keep breathing, take some time and they will begin to get better.

Cheers.
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: LTSurviver on February 21, 2009, 08:50:54 am
Aaron,

I tested poz when I was 19.

I'm 41 now and have a hell of a good life.  I'm still healthy and looking forward to many more good years.  My only regret is waiting to die for so many years instead of living to live.



Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: lonewolf on February 21, 2009, 05:39:54 pm
Aaron,   We really feel for you and understand your feelings.   It always is a shock, and we all have had to go through that.   Please call a help line and talk, talk, talk,   please keep in touch with us here.
You are young, talented, and have a great life and future ahead of you.   I am so glad you stopped by to talk.  Please keep in touch.

Sending lots of hugs,
Bruce
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: WillyWump on February 24, 2009, 07:42:15 pm
Aaron We love you...

Please realize that with HIV at age 20 you WILL have a normal lifespan if you take care of yourself and listen to your doctors. Your quality of life will not suffer, mine has not. There is ALOT of life to live ahead of you!

Will

Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: onelove79 on February 25, 2009, 10:36:24 am
Hey Aaaron,

You are at the right place, poz.com where there are find and loving people.I find out my positive status at age 28 and I had the thought that my life has come to an end. Well, it isn't and I am now living life as best as I can, eating healthy, exercising and getting some muscles and furthering my education. Its not the end of the road, just continuing doing what you are doing and build that relationship with your doctor.

Please keep in touch.
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: Nick Herman on February 26, 2009, 11:12:48 am
Hi aaron,

I know exactly how you feel.  I test poz half a year ago.  I started looking around and realizing that I had nothing to live for.  The great people of this forum got me through the hardest point, finding out the truth.  I find that it's the worlds stigmatism that leads us to become so afraid, also because at this point you realize that life will be totally different.  BUT ITS NOT!  :)  Life has been the same, the only thing that changes is that you have to become more health conscious, which is a good thing.  The mental struggle may be the hardest part of hiv.  But after that, it gets better, don't consider suicide.  You'll look back one day and say, it wasn't the end of the world.  I hope you turn to the great folks on the forum, talking helps alot.  Take care.

Nick
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: tag_man08 on March 01, 2009, 03:37:06 am
This guy has never returned to the site since this post.  This scares me.  Is there anyway we can find out where he is from this site?   
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: Ann on March 01, 2009, 08:23:34 am
Tag, no, unfortunately all we can tell is that he's posting from somewhere in the States.

I'm hoping that maybe this was just a hoax - it happens. It's also possible that he got help and is in a mental health unit for the time-being. And of course it's also possible that the worst has happened.

I wish we could do more - it's certainly scary, saddening and frustrating.

Aaron - if you're reading but not logging in, PLEASE log in and let us know how you're doing. We do understand that you might have posted this in a dark moment and are now embarrassed to post again, but sod that. Don't be embarrassed and don't hesitate to post. We do care, really, we do.

Ann
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: decayingsinner on March 01, 2009, 08:20:03 pm
I hope this person responds and is okay.  I had found out last year when I was 28 and still enjoy each day as if it were my last. There is not one day that is guaranteed.  It's amazing what meds had done for me (undetectable now). If they've come this far in 25 years, I can't wait to see where science is in another 25 years.
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: jampdx on March 07, 2009, 04:41:39 am
Well, I really pray he is ok and got help else where.  The skeptic in me makes me wonder if it was even true.  Seems sort of random.  The feelings are real, but one blurp like that and then nothing.  Perhaps, I don't know.  I may seem cold, but kind of a shi#$y position to put others in.  lol.
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: odyssey on March 07, 2009, 05:24:43 pm
aaron-

If you read this, please know that your life isn't over. I'm 22 and I was just diagnosed poz a few months ago. I've also struggled with feelings of wanting to kill myself, so I can understand how you feel. But as I've learned, and you will too, medicine has come a long way since the 80's, and if we take good care of ourselves, we can live just as long as if we were HIV negative. I truly hope you choose to keep living! If you want to talk, feel free to send me a private message, I'm here for you!

odyssey
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: Tar Heel on March 23, 2009, 04:11:14 am
I seriously hope this guy comes back on to let us know that he is ok.  At 20yo, it's hard to comprehend the fact that life is a big test.  And each of us are given a different road to travel and burdens to carry. 
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: HALOO on March 28, 2009, 08:21:22 pm
Hey Aaron-
               I hope you read this post.I am around the same age as you.Honestly, I do have same thinking like you.BUT WHY NOW?? Why Suicide Now?? Why not next month, next year or maybe next couple of years.
              Just take a minute off and stop thinking about HIV.Start thinking about what you wish to do in this life before you die.You are just 20 like me so I am sure that there is still many things in life you still want to do.You are just infected and your body is still very strong now.
              Why Hurry to die?? You can die anytime you want but why now??? Why dont you wait for sometime and do what you alway wish to do not never did before.Take 2-3 years more and  maybe you might find a good news that you are Elite Controller(a person who can control virus for 10-20 year without med and living healthy like negative person). Maybe a extremely potential cure might come in news by next month.Who know???
           Remeber HIV only on the day you need to visit doctor and other days just forget them.YOU HAVE A CHOICE.
          PS:- Today I saw a beggar who lost his legs but he still singing(on the road size) for money.The guy have no home, sleep on the road side and have no legs and no one around him but he STILL FIGHTING.But when I look at myself, I do have HIV but I still have 25 ARV to help me, I have home, I have girlfriend, I can do work.My life is a lot better than the guy.IF I choose to commit suicide today, I will be ashamed of him.
 Think about it.
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: PRMike on March 29, 2009, 10:02:42 am
Hi Arron, I understand how you feel because i was there too a very long time ago,,, in fact it will be 29 years come this Oct..
but as you can see I'm still here and thank GOD and my Doctors I am doing just great..now it will also depend on you and by that I mean that you will have to keep going to see your Doctor and taking your Meds and not doing anything that will hurt you..for example NO DRUGS they will really hurt your health...
I hope that you realize that there are a lot of good people here that really care about you and can offer you a shoulder or an ear ...
ok I pray that you will be alright and please let us know that your still here with us...
Please do not lose faith YOU CAN DO THIS...
ok so long for now your New Friend PRMike
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: princes718 on May 01, 2009, 05:39:35 pm
Hi sweetie, I know you are scared. I tested positive when I was 26 years old. Seventeen years later I am still very healthy. It is important for you to not allow HIV to rule your life. Right now you tested positive at a time were there are so many ways to keep you healthy. So don't give up and don't give in to negativity. You are not alone, we are here to give you support, so please keep on breathing the pain and fear will pass, I promise you that.
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: midland moe on May 08, 2009, 07:19:21 am
i remember when i first found out...i was sick in the hospital..checked in for pneumonia and diagnosed with AIDS...i wanted to die. i figured i was gonna die right there in the hospital. when that didnt happen i came here, and the people here gave me the first little glimmer of insight as to how much of a life I really had left if I took care of this virus in me. that was a year ago. I hope you stivck around and read enough to get that glimmer aaron. life can go on. i found out i had full blown aids a year ago and i feelhealthier than i have in years today, and i plan on living a LONG time...I was where you are now aaron a year ago..read this forum it made me feel a whole lot better.
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: tag_man08 on May 24, 2009, 02:22:27 am
i hate seeing this post....he never came back to the site....i wish someone would just delete this....it makes me sad everytime i see it on the discussion board pop up....i can only hope this was a joke...
Title: Re: I just tested + for HIV im thinking about killing myself tonight
Post by: Ann on May 24, 2009, 05:37:37 am
i hate seeing this post....he never came back to the site....i wish someone would just delete this....it makes me sad everytime i see it on the discussion board pop up....i can only hope this was a joke...

If people would stop posting to this thread, it would stop "popping up". It must have been near the bottom of the page when you posted to it, Tag. If the thread is left alone, it will eventually get buried in the archives. We don't generally delete threads unless the first post is spam or contains offensive material. This thread doesn't really qualify.

And yes, it bothers me too and I also hope that it was a joke. If it wasn't and Aaron is still around, he may come back one day and look for his thread - a good reason to leave it online.

Ann