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Author Topic: Upset, disappointed and scared...  (Read 13090 times)

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Offline Ohmydays

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Upset, disappointed and scared...
« on: November 30, 2012, 05:56:58 am »
Hello, new here...

So I was told I was positive yesterday at my local GUM clinic, having initially asked for PEP because of an accident involving a failed condom that occurred over the weekend.

This came as a shock, as anybody can imagine, totally wasn't expecting it. I was expecting more like 'yes, just carry on taking the medication as prescribed'. Out of all the things out there I've been wondering why I had to catch this. You read about statistics and what-have-you about hiv on the internet and would never think you would get it.

What angered me was I kept wondering to myself 'how on earth did I get it'?
I have always been the most hypercondriac individual ever, constantly asking questions, to my sexual partners dismay whether they're clean, practise safe sex, and always looking over after being screwed to see if the condom was still on their willy.

I've always practised safe sex, which is what has probably shocked me the most. Ok, so some of you guys might think he must've done it bb, though I can assure you, I would not think twice about using a condom.

Anyways, at that point being told my brain just flooded with emotions- didn't know whether to cry, run, laugh; I just sat there trying to take in the information fed to me by these two health consultants.

I knew from that point on my life would change, but not so soon at 29?! I felt like I had nothing left in life, wasn't sure if my parents would understand, as coming from an Asian background they probably think you could cure it with herbal tea. So for now I thought I'd keep them in the dark...

I called my bf of 7.5 years, maybe a bit too selfish of me as he had a big project he was working on and this was probably the last thing he needed to know. Though I thought 'screw your project, I'm calling ya!'
He took it far worse than I did, I think, which kinda made me nervous, though I did assure him I would always be the same guy he met all those years ago, albeit a little, little different. He's been asking me to keep healthy, going to the gym, fresh fruit everyday; he is right, isn't he?

I've a few friends I've discussed this with, they've been supportive. I definitely feel much better talking to someone rather than keeping it in the dark. One if them is pos too. He gave me great encouragement and said he was there for me if needed. I'm just so worried about change...

Hey ho, thought I'd get some stuff of my chest. Prob a lot more i wanna say, but head going funny...
They did take two more vials of my blood for some reason which I've forgotten, possibly to see if it matches my initial blood. But we'll wait and see when they call me next week...


Offline Ann

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2012, 07:08:01 am »
When a person is given PEP following a possible exposure, they are usually given a rapid hiv test first. If this rapid test is negative, the person can continue with PEP.

If the rapid test is positive, further testing must be done in order to confirm the positive result. This normally takes the form of further antibody testing (ELISA) as well as the confirmatory test, the Western Blot.

The confirmatory tests can usually be run from one vial of blood, but it is possible that they took two in order to also run further tests, such as viral load. This would be in case your result is a true positive - you'd be one step ahead in finding out where you stand.

One is NOT considered to have been diagnosed as hiv positive until the confirmatory tests come back positive as well.

You may have had a false positive result, so hang in there until the new test results come back.

Until you've had the confirmatory test back, please post in this thread only as you have not yet been diagnosed as hiv positive. Thanks.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mecch

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2012, 07:10:09 am »
Hello welcome to the forums.

Sorry for the diagnosis and the stress and fear you'll have to work through now.  For most people its a shock.

Read some lessons here.

The test at the GUM clinic. They took blood yesterday and that is what came up positive?  This may have been a rapid test.  So the new blood they have taken might be for the confirmation of HIV infection by more thorough analysis.  And also, if its confirmed, there will be more blood tests to see what kind of virus, your cd4, your viral load, and many other functions...
 
(OK Ann explained this, above)  ;D

I don't know why you "would never think you would get it".  Afterall, you thought you COULD get it --- that is why you were so scrupulous about safesex practices! Unfortunately, assuming you are HIV+ now, then you've had a bad break. 

It is natural to be frustrated and confused about not being able to identify the risk.  However, its pretty pointless.  That it is pointless will probably take some time to sink in.  Some people can NEVER identify the risk that led to infection, so you might end up in that category.  At the end of it all, for a HIV+ person, how they got it is usually not all that important in the grand scheme of living the rest of your life.  If it was by an unknown accident, that's just bad luck. 

If the condom break occurred last weekend, rest assured, THAT was not the source of your infection because you don't turn up positive a few days after contact.

You did the right thing telling some people right away. Obviously you had to tell you bf.  Hope that sorts itself out as things go along.  Also, you asked this question:  "He's been asking me to keep healthy, going to the gym, fresh fruit everyday; he is right, isn't he?"

No he may be thinking wrongly here.  Like the joke you said about your parents.  Drinking tea or following alternative medicines of some cultures - nope, that's not going to cure or stop HIV.  Nor is going to the gym, eating fresh fruit....


There is no amount of "healthy living" that does anything all that much about how a body is going to deal with an HIV infection....   Healthy living is important for EVERYONE.  Doesn't much fight HIV.

The thing to know is that a person diagnosed HIV+ will go to a doctor regularly from now on, and health care  will follow the progress of his/her infection and recommend appropriate treatments at the appropriate time.  Its the medicine that finally stops HIV replication. Not anything else.  And its quite really genetics that will determine how someone fights HIV. 

(Lastly, a little aside.  Probably best for yourself and your relations with other HIV+ people if you can drop the unthinking reflex to call an HIV- person "clean".  I know its just what people say, but from now on really you don't want to encourage in your mind, a dichotomy of "clean" and "dirty" people based on some stupid virus.)

So, finally, maybe in the end that will be a false positive. I hope so!

« Last Edit: November 30, 2012, 07:15:19 am by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2012, 08:27:18 am »
Hi OMD,

Your approach to sharing information with others is yours alone, not right or wrong, but yours.

We all hope you get a different test result.

Call me crazy, but I think if healthy living can have an effect on the immune system it can have an effect on a response to HIV.  My first ID doc was of the same mindset.

Our collective fingers are crossed for you. And, if you're confirmed positive you've got a friend who's positive and a resource here.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2012, 08:46:17 am by emeraldize »

Offline Ohmydays

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2012, 08:42:04 am »
Hello and thanks for the replies :-)

On the initial visit I was surprised they didn't do a rapid HIV test on me, rather they took a few vials of blood from my arm and gave me a 5 day supply of PEP.
Maybe because it was a trip to the A&E department of the hospital and that they weren't too familiar with it all...

I was asked to go in the next day to the hospitals GUM clinic to have more blood taken and was given more PEP. 4 days later I was asked asked to come down to the clinic for a chat, which is when they disclosed to me my results. They took more blood (I must've had a billion holes in my arm by then) but was told that it was used to confirm whether the blood today matches the blood taken on the second day visit, in case they made a mistake. I asked them to give me a rapid HIV test which came out pos too.

Sorry about the sort of lingo used, you hear it so often, but never really think much of it. It's until you dissect it that you think to yourself that it's an inappropriate word.

Yes, obviously with every sexual encounter you do have a margin of risk. From a young age you get taught (well, I did) that you should always practise safe sex, something I've adhered too always; drives me up the wall sometimes. And I did, at the back of my mind know that nothing it 100% absolutely safe. It's following all the rules, everything you have learnt over the years and knowing that it has turned around and bitten you on the arse that hurts the most.

I'm aware that at this moment it doesn't matter how I got it, but rather I should focus on the bigger picture. I know that it might take a while to sink in too, that's the most painful part. At the end of the day I don't want to hurt anyone and not to be a burden, which I know doesn't have to be the case. I'm glad I have a supportive bf - talking to him over the phone just now made me burst in tears. Actually, I've been meaning to ball my eyes out for a while now! No matter how hard a try I just can't cry! But this incident certainly has made it easier :p

Yes, so who knows, there might still be a chance- I'll have to go in again next week sometime for more blood tests. I hate blood tests!

Anyways, sorry excuse my British humour, it can be rather dry at times...
« Last Edit: November 30, 2012, 12:01:52 pm by Ohmydays »

Offline Ohmydays

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2012, 08:53:58 am »
Hi OMD,

Your approach to sharing information with others is yours alone, not right or wrong, but yours.

We all hope you get a different test result.

Call me crazy, but I think if healthy living can have an effect on the immune system it can have an effect on a response to HIV.  My first ID doc was of the same mindset.

Our collective fingers are crossed for you. And, if you're confirmed positive you've got a friend who's positive and a resource here.

Hello emeraldize and thank you :0)

Haha, yes, the Asian approach and answer to everything is herbal tea lol. My mum used to serve it up whether I've got a cold, head ache or broken any bones...

Telling my mum would be the most difficult thing ever, which is most heart breaking. I'm still the baby in the family, although I'm 29 I still feel like a baby. :p lol

Maybe one day I will tell her, though maybe nows not the right time. It's seeing others hurt because of my problem that's hurtful. :(
Though if I told her and she didn't care then I'd be angry! Lol

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2012, 09:00:51 am »
Hey!

Most everyone will tell you here that while telling your mum is difficult for both parties -- it's worse when you withhold -- for both of you.

It's a mum's job, you know. You don't want to hear -- why did you wait so long? That's what I heard because I was trying to protect her health at the time. Baseless. Finally took the advice of others and told her.

Glad you're here
Em

Offline Ohmydays

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2012, 10:05:19 am »
I understand...

It's going to be hard to initiate the subject, but probably needs to be done.

She's in her 60s, going strong, active and always running around doing things. I see a distinct contrast between us two. I feel like I have disappointed her.

As you can tell, I'm mostly worried about others around me than myself lol.

But thank you, guys, everything said has been taken in board. Has been very helpful :)

Offline Ann

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2012, 10:21:01 am »
Days, you should probably hold off on telling your mum at least until you know for sure one way or the other. After that (if you are poz), well, as  a mum myself, I can tell you that it would hurt her more if you withheld this type of information from her. I'd be devastated if my daughter felt she couldn't tell me if this happened to her. She's only a few years younger than you - but it doesn't matter how old our children are, they will always be our babies and we want, we need to be able to be there for them in times of need.


On the initial visit I was surprised they didn't do a rapid HIV test on me, rather they took a few vials of blood from my arm and gave me a 5 day supply of PEP.
Maybe because it was a trip to the A&E department of the hospital and that they weren't too familiar with it all...


Yes, it probably was a lack of knowledge in A&E regarding not giving you a rapid test. It can be the luck of the draw depending who's on shift and how much hiv testing and PEP protocol knowledge they have. Giving PEP in A&E for sexual incidents is still relatively new in the UK and not all locations are up-to-speed. This may be something you want to question in the GUM clinic if they and the A&E are part of the same hospital or even the same NHS trust. Someone in the clinic may want to arrange a refresher course for A&E employees.

I'm also in the UK - kinda-sorta. I'm in the Isle of Man but I go to Liverpool for my hiv care.

Hang in there while you wait for the confirmatory results. Even if you are poz, you're going to be ok. And no, it doesn't matter how it happened. What matters most is where you go from here and there's no reason why that where shouldn't be onward and upward. You'll be ok!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ohmydays

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #9 on: November 30, 2012, 10:33:31 am »
Thank you, Ann!

Your motherly talk has slightly welled me up  :'(

Your advice and everyone else's has definitely been helpful and encouraging :)

Good job I took the day off...

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #10 on: December 01, 2012, 01:47:48 am »
Sending positive energy your way that you're actually negative.  I thought very much like you.  I looked at the HIV cases here in the U.S.  1 million infected out of a country of over 300 million.  I didn't know anyone (that I knew of) who was infected.  Well, not anyone close.  I had known some family friends who died back in the 90's.  I figured I had a better chance of winning the lottery. 

When I've actually thought about it, I realized my chances of having sex with someone with HIV was much higher than my straight counterparts, not even mentioning the different risk factors in heterosexual vs homosexual sex.  It seems so obvious now.  HIV affects more gay men in the U.S.  We don't have as many partners to choose from.  I grew up in a town of about 60,000 people.  All the gay men shared the same sex partners.  I now live in a city of about 700,000.  They say 1 million for the whole metro area.  But, I've noticed we all seem to be connected through hook ups, former and current partners, and friends.  This just isn't the case with my straight friends.  They aren't connected like we are.  Oh, they do their share of hooking up, but they just have a much larger pool. 

   

Offline Ohmydays

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #11 on: December 01, 2012, 02:48:16 pm »
Just went out for a meal and walk with the other half.

Kind of feel a bit better getting some fresh air and seeing some humanity.

Does really make you put things into perspective - makes you think about the things that you take for granted.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2012, 02:51:55 pm by Ohmydays »

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #12 on: December 01, 2012, 03:09:34 pm »
Completely agree w/Ann -- zero need to tell your mum until your diagnosis is certain. Even then, you'll know when it's right. And if you have to, try not to go to that internal place of disappointing a parent -- you're talking about a virus -- you didn't embezzle, or murder, or harm a child, you had sex.

Offline YellowFever

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #13 on: December 02, 2012, 07:33:21 pm »
I never really had the choice because my mom is like a truth-serum and I was visibly distraught once I tested poz. Her knowledge of HIV was still in the pre-HAART days where if you had HIV, you're pretty much "waiting to die" (to translate a Chinese term....) so it helped a lot that she had doctors tell her that with medication, people with HIV live long and normal lives. Hopefully the WB comes out -ve. But if not, send your mom off to a famous and knowledgeable physician..."expert opinions" help alot in dispelling fears about HIV. :)
08/2010 HIV- 08/2012 HIV+
10/2012 CD4 415
04/2013 CD4 457
10/2013 CD4 520 VL 650
02/2014 CD4 410 VL 390
08/2014 CD4 580
01/2015 CD4 500 VL UD
05/2015 CD4 420 VL 2500
08/2015 CD4 460 VL UD
03/2016 CD4 500 VL UD
08/2016 CD4 410 VL 4467

Offline Souledout

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #14 on: December 03, 2012, 02:22:20 pm »
I've chosen not to tell my parents. They worry about me anyway, I'd rather save them the heartache. Each to their own though, just don't feel like you have to rush into telling anyone before you're ready.
Infection sometime April-August, no noticable seroconversion symptoms
Not currently on medication
13/09/12 CD4 672 (33%) VL <40 (diagnosis date)
18/09/12 CD4 ?               VL 43
27/09/12 CD4 ?               VL 127
19/11/12 CD4 676 (38%) VL 959
03/03/13 CD4 642 (32%) VL 291
04/07/13 CD4 791 (33%) VL 26,437 (active cold sore, tooth infection)
18/07/13 ------retest------VL 3704
18/11/13 CD4 802 (36%) VL 65

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #15 on: December 03, 2012, 04:30:04 pm »
I've chosen not to tell my parents. They worry about me anyway, I'd rather save them the heartache. Each to their own though, just don't feel like you have to rush into telling anyone before you're ready.


I hope someday you will change your mind. I am sure the mothers on this forum will agree with me.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ohmydays

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #16 on: December 03, 2012, 04:41:30 pm »
Called my mum this evening and said I wasn't coming over for dinner.

She then told me to wrap up warm and asked if I still had my cold and whether I was taking my cough medicine...

Did make me a bit teary. I will eventually tell her, I think. The time will come...

Offline mitch777

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #17 on: December 03, 2012, 05:00:44 pm »
welcome ohmy,
i was 23 when i found out i was hiv+ (30 years ago).
told my mom that i was gay and hiv+ in the middle of my parents divorce.
how fun is that? :P
no regrets.
hang in there and keep posting.
33 years hiv+ with a curtsy.

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #18 on: December 03, 2012, 05:06:03 pm »
There are good reasons not to tell a parent, or anyone else who loves us dearly.  All in due time, at the right moment, etc etc etc.

I didn't tell my dad when I seroconverted several years ago. He had terminal cancer.  He was in his 70's.  My moms a worrier and was overwhelmed dealing with my dad.

They both watched me in pain and loss in the 80's and early 90s with HIV tragedies.  My dad was sharp as a pin, all the way to the end so if I had told him, and then educated him, he would have understood the "new" messages about living with HIV.  But I saw no up side for him or me to disclosure in his lifetime, and a news leak to the family would have added to drama and stress to a sufficiently stressed out time in the family. (Several are hypochondriacs to boot.)

All in due time, at the right moment, etc etc etc.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Ann

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #19 on: December 04, 2012, 03:14:46 am »
I've chosen not to tell my parents.



I hope someday you will change your mind. I am sure the mothers on this forum will agree with me.


This mother does!

Days, when are your confirmatory tests due to come back? I've got my fingers crossed for you. Hopefully, all this talk about telling your mum will be a moot point.

Hang in there and please remember, even if you are poz, you're going to be ok. Your mum will be as well.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Souledout

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #20 on: December 04, 2012, 09:40:16 am »
I may well tell them at some point, not now though. I only told them I was gay last year (3 weeks after my bro told them he was - mega shock all round on that one), this would be too much. I'm not that close to them, I never really have been. I wish I was but there's just not that much affection shown in the family but I know that it would worry them.

Maybe when things have calmed down for me... Maybe... Maybe I could sugar the pill by presenting them with a grandchild, something I'm considering :)
Infection sometime April-August, no noticable seroconversion symptoms
Not currently on medication
13/09/12 CD4 672 (33%) VL <40 (diagnosis date)
18/09/12 CD4 ?               VL 43
27/09/12 CD4 ?               VL 127
19/11/12 CD4 676 (38%) VL 959
03/03/13 CD4 642 (32%) VL 291
04/07/13 CD4 791 (33%) VL 26,437 (active cold sore, tooth infection)
18/07/13 ------retest------VL 3704
18/11/13 CD4 802 (36%) VL 65

Offline Ohmydays

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #21 on: December 04, 2012, 02:39:08 pm »
This mother does!

Days, when are your confirmatory tests due to come back? I've got my fingers crossed for you. Hopefully, all this talk about telling your mum will be a moot point.

Hang in there and please remember, even if you are poz, you're going to be ok. Your mum will be as well.

Hello, well, I actually don't know :p

I'm suppose to be seeing them next week, as they wanted me to chill out before I go back to the clinic. From the tests that they did and the chat they gave me, I think they've made up their mind I'm pos :-p

When they tested me I asked if there was a chance that there could've been a mistake and they said no :-0

Oh, I dunno anymore :0 I've actually kinda got used to it already. I'm definitely a lot more perky than the other day. I guess with so much going on i.e, Christmas, doing a new course and starting a new job, I haven't really had time to think of the HIV now.

If anything changes you guys will be the first to know. :-)
« Last Edit: December 04, 2012, 02:44:23 pm by Ohmydays »

Offline texaninnyc87

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #22 on: December 04, 2012, 02:42:43 pm »
I was kind of naively hoping i got a false positive too. didn't quite seem real until i go that sheet of paper in my hands. sorry youre going through this but youre not alone! i find out all my counts on monday. eeek!
Dxd: 9/11/12
Blot confirmed: 11/12
12/12 cd4: 280 (20%) vl: 129,000
1/13 $tribild
2/13 cd4: 350 (26%) vl: 80
4/13 cd4: 510 (29%) vl:: 35
6/13cd4 350 (31%) vl: 21
9/13 cd4 492 (30%) vl: ud
12/13 cd4 846 (36%) vl: 100
1/14 cd4 480 (31%) vl: UD
3/14 cd4 650 (33%) vl: UD
6/14 cd4 410 (35%) vl: UD
9/14 cd4 439 (38%) vl: UD
12/14 cd4 551 (37%) vl: UD

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #23 on: December 04, 2012, 02:49:26 pm »
Ohmydays,

I don't understand this.  You should have had your confirmation test back by now?  When was the blood taken?  I had mine within 3 days.  You're told to wait another week to know whether your life and health have changed?  Something doesn't seem right.

Offline texaninnyc87

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #24 on: December 04, 2012, 02:52:56 pm »
I had to wait a week to get the results of my western blot back. The first time i went in to get an oral swab test they said the western blot would take 2 weeks and jsut to be safe scheduled my appointment 3 weeks later!
Dxd: 9/11/12
Blot confirmed: 11/12
12/12 cd4: 280 (20%) vl: 129,000
1/13 $tribild
2/13 cd4: 350 (26%) vl: 80
4/13 cd4: 510 (29%) vl:: 35
6/13cd4 350 (31%) vl: 21
9/13 cd4 492 (30%) vl: ud
12/13 cd4 846 (36%) vl: 100
1/14 cd4 480 (31%) vl: UD
3/14 cd4 650 (33%) vl: UD
6/14 cd4 410 (35%) vl: UD
9/14 cd4 439 (38%) vl: UD
12/14 cd4 551 (37%) vl: UD

Offline Ohmydays

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #25 on: December 04, 2012, 03:17:59 pm »
Ohmydays,

I don't understand this.  You should have had your confirmation test back by now?  When was the blood taken?  I had mine within 3 days.  You're told to wait another week to know whether your life and health have changed?  Something doesn't seem right.

I had my blood taken last Thursday. So maybe it'll take another few days?

They never mentioned to me about a Western blot test...Only said they're gonna match my blood taken on Thursday to the blood taken on Monday, Monday being the day I went for my second batch of PEP.

But they called yesterday and asked me to come in next week sometime...
« Last Edit: December 04, 2012, 03:30:04 pm by Ohmydays »

Offline Souledout

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  • Posts: 160
Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #26 on: December 04, 2012, 04:13:06 pm »
It's probably best just to work off the assumption that you're positive, the chances are that you are. I had similar things going on when I found out, I simply had too much going on to let myself fall apart, don't let it get the better of you at what could be a pivotal time in your life. You seem to be doing pretty well!
Infection sometime April-August, no noticable seroconversion symptoms
Not currently on medication
13/09/12 CD4 672 (33%) VL <40 (diagnosis date)
18/09/12 CD4 ?               VL 43
27/09/12 CD4 ?               VL 127
19/11/12 CD4 676 (38%) VL 959
03/03/13 CD4 642 (32%) VL 291
04/07/13 CD4 791 (33%) VL 26,437 (active cold sore, tooth infection)
18/07/13 ------retest------VL 3704
18/11/13 CD4 802 (36%) VL 65

Offline Ohmydays

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #27 on: January 10, 2013, 05:19:25 pm »
Ah, so yes, it's def positive :-(

CD4 690 and VL 3500 or so.

I'm still not used to the damn blood tests :-0

Anyhow, I don't think anything has really changed and I'm still me. Still going about my daily business :-D


« Last Edit: January 10, 2013, 05:25:42 pm by Ohmydays »

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #28 on: January 10, 2013, 07:45:46 pm »
Hi Omd,

So ends the wondering.
You bet you're still you.

It's good to have business to get on with--isn't it?
You'll get used to the blood tests -- it's HIV accounting--your quarterly reports.

Em


Offline Ohmydays

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  • Posts: 11
Re: Upset, disappointed and scared...
« Reply #29 on: January 11, 2013, 03:49:04 am »
Hi Em Em,

Yea, I figured there's more important things in life and have been trying to keep myself preoccupied to take my mind off this  :)

I understand its still something that I shouldn't take lightly, but as with most things in life you learn to adapt to it; well, that's how I see it...


 


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