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Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: bryan21 on July 16, 2010, 01:54:47 am

Title: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: bryan21 on July 16, 2010, 01:54:47 am
okay ello everyone..
im bryan.
im on here trying to find info and help from ppl that know more about this then i do.
first of i tested pos may 11th. i got blood taken may 20th and i will be going to get the results on july the 19th.
first off does it always take this long to get results back?!!
i have been going crazy! like i have been lookin up info on the net. but i can only look up so much!
this is really scary! and the side effects from the meds are even scarier!
the person i got it from my x bf didnt know he had it he found out may 5th and he already has AIDS from what ive gathered.(but he drinks alot and party's) i dont not really. i have stopped smoking cigs and pot i have stopped drinking..i quit everything!!!(i dont want to die!!) he has stared meds and says he feel 100 percent better.
since i have found out i have been every depressed. i cant help it even when i try to be happy it s like a weight that presses on me.
and like everyone i have talked to and read on tha net says that its not that bad. and i just dont feel that way at all!
i dont know if i am ready to take meds but if i have to then i will!
i have like all the symptoms im tired my body hurts im losing muscle i have a cough like a dry one headaches i think im anemic..like i have symptoms thats why i think i am but i kinda think i am being paranoid..lol
and its very hard for me not to think about it like i am a obsessive person and i think that s what s going on i think i just need someone that knows about this stuff that can tell me im going to be okay.
i have no job no money and no car i am not independent at all and i hate it i feel like i need to be out living life while i can but i cant because i dont have the way to i know there are place that have support groups and shit but how do i get there there all the way down town like 25 mins away and i have no car...i dont want to ask someone to take me there cause as i have found ppl say they dont mind helping you but then they turn around and bitch about it to someone else.
and i dont know if i should try to get a job or not i have medicare (tenncare) as of now like when they find out i have HIV will i be dropped?!!  i hope not then i will really be up a creek..
like there is alot of shit and i just dont know what to do !!????
SORRY I HAS VENTING I REALLY DONT HAVE ANYONE TO TALK TO.
LIKE MY FAMILY DONT UNDERSTAND THEY KNOW NOTHING JUST LIKE I DIDNT KNOW ANYTHING THREE MONTHS AGO..AND IM ADHA SO THATS WHY ITS ALL MIXED UP..LOL
:)         
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: mecch on July 16, 2010, 05:35:28 am
You're going to be OK!
You get your results in a few days, share them here, please.

Dont believe everything you read on the Internet about HIV, AIDS, and HAART - highly active anti retrovirus therapy.  Its 2010, the drugs won't destroy your health, your appearance - and side effects can be managed and can be non existant.  How is that for good news?  Take your ex bf as an example - he's already feeling better.  The part about people saying its not the end of the world - that's TRUE!

You posted about your weight loss in the other thread.  I think when you post your numbers people here can give you more feedback.

You are so young! It makes me sad to hear you seroconverted!  But I'm sure you will rally and do well in life. 

Now please do a small kindness for us older HIV+ folks - punctuate your sentences and use a capital letter - it makes reading easier for us dinosaurs.
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: andrew67 on July 16, 2010, 07:54:47 am
hi bryan

i read your post and wanted to let you know that i was diagnosed around the same age as you, however and here is the good news, i was diagnosed almost 20yrs ago!, and i am still here and healthy, so my message is please do not make yourself ill with worry because you will be fine and will have as long and healthy a life as you want to live.  take care and let me know how you are doing, even if it is just a bit of emotional support you need.

take care andrew 
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: bryan21 on July 16, 2010, 10:10:45 pm
Well thank you both.
And i suck at punctuation but i will try dont laugh at me..lol
 I just kinda freak out sometimes i can't help it.I feel stupid
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: mecch on July 16, 2010, 10:18:36 pm
Nothing in your posts shows stupidity! Its normal to be freaked out when you find out you are HIV+! 


By the way, your test in May - what method was that?  And the results you are waiting now - what kind of test?
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: bryan21 on July 16, 2010, 11:38:45 pm
the test in may was a blood test..fuck that "rapid" shit.lol
and i have no idea what kind of test they are doing now all i know is they took like 7-9 things of blood.
like when i got the poz result back there were all these numbers and letters on the test and the woman said that if u have three of them then that means you are positive and she said i had seven i dont know what this is?
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: phildinftlaudy on July 16, 2010, 11:47:51 pm
Hi Bryan -
Welcome to the family -  although the way we get here is unfortunate, you will definitely meet some great people and can find some strong support.

So, you got by with only having 7-9 vials of blood taken on your first labs - That's great... My doc at the time must have been obsessive or part vampire as they took 16 from me.  I did got up until the 8th vial then almost went down for the count.   ;D

Read all you can on this site - there is lots of good information.  Read to be informed not alarmed.  You are handling your business and that puts you in a very very good position.

You are venting, you are engaging, and you are being yourself ---- All things that will get you through this in the best way possible.  My ex (who is still a great friend) was diagnosed when he was 19 - and he just celebrated his 38th birthday last week.  So, there you still have plenty of living to do - and do just that LIVE.

Thanks again for joining us and for sharing. 

- Phil
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: bryan21 on July 17, 2010, 12:01:43 am
wow that s alot of blood i would have really freaked out!
i did over the 7-9 they took.
okay ill ask it here to
my poz test that i go t there were all these number and letters on it..
there was 7 of them the lady said you have to have three to be poz.
and i had seven does anyone know what these are?
are they antibodies?
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: phildinftlaudy on July 17, 2010, 12:14:31 am
wow that s alot of blood i would have really freaked out!
i did over the 7-9 they took.
okay ill ask it here to
my poz test that i go t there were all these number and letters on it..
there was 7 of them the lady said you have to have three to be poz.
and i had seven does anyone know what these are?
are they antibodies?
I really wouldn't know for sure unless I saw the results or if you listed the info -- but from what your saying, in regards to letters/numbers - that sounds more like they were looking at resistance/mutations.  Typically, if they know your viral load, a resistance test is done to see what meds you might have resistance to or any mutations, so that if you do go on meds, they know what options you have. 
They did my resistance early on - even though i didn't go on meds til after a year after diagnosis.  This may have been what those numbers/letters were.  Anyone else have any thoughts?
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: Hellraiser on July 17, 2010, 02:45:25 am
If he's not on meds they would have done a resistance test as I'm certain there was enough of the virus in his system to get a result.

They test you for EVERYTHING the first go round... syphilis, hep a, hep b, hep c, gonorrhea, chlamydia, resistance test.  Imagine a blood test and they run it.  I think I give 3-4 vials now on a regular visit.   Although I've now had to correct the nurse three times from pulling too much blood or testing for the wrong things.
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: max123 on July 17, 2010, 10:24:40 am
hi bryan,

welcome to the club. the 7 thing you describe with numbers & letters sounds like the number of reactive bands on your western blot. trust me, i know that getting a poz diagnosis is enough to knock you out. but, what you have got to realize is that first & foremost, you're gonna be ok. take a deep breath and use your energies proactively. take time to educate yourself on the disease & staying healthy. also, try to get involved with knowing more about the the whys and whats regarding lab tests, etc (see the lessons sections here on the forum). your docs are there to help you, but 'class participation' is whats gonna get you through this. hang in there.

max
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: Ann on July 17, 2010, 11:30:35 am
the 7 thing you describe with numbers & letters sounds like the number of reactive bands on your western blot.

This is the correct answer. Phil, they don't do resistance testing when they're doing the hiv diagnostic test. Why would they when the result may be negative. I think you misunderstood the question - easily done. ;)

Hi Bryan, welcome to the forums. As the others have said, you're going to be just fine. Hang in there - it's a rollercoaster ride at first but you'll soon settle down.
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: phildinftlaudy on July 17, 2010, 11:39:42 am
This is the correct answer. Phil, they don't do resistance testing when they're doing the hiv diagnostic test. Why would they when the result may be negative. I think you misunderstood the question - easily done. ;)

Hi Bryan, welcome to the forums. As the others have said, you're going to be just fine. Hang in there - it's a rollercoaster ride at first but you'll soon settle down.
Thanks Ann ---- I did misunderstand it and was going off of the numbers and letters I saw on my labs when they did my resistance testing -
Max's answer made much more sense - I didn't know that there was a way to look at the reactive bands on the Western Blot.
Sorry for any confusion Bryan. 
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: bryan21 on July 17, 2010, 01:39:59 pm
okay sorry i guess i should have said western blot..
so is that just b/s i should think about or what?
like does that bad i have all seven? or does that mean
my body is fighting it alot?? idk.lol
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: bryan21 on July 17, 2010, 01:41:14 pm
im sorry im not stupid im just tired..lol
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: Ann on July 17, 2010, 03:08:09 pm
No, Bryan, it's nothing to worry about. It just means that you're definitely hiv positive. No biggie. I had every band possible and I'm doing just fine - been poz for thirteen years now and I don't even need meds yet.
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: Miss Philicia on July 17, 2010, 03:35:45 pm
I don't even need meds yet.

You do go on and on about that :)
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: bryan21 on July 17, 2010, 04:20:18 pm
jealous.lol
(i would be to)
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: Miss Philicia on July 17, 2010, 04:28:46 pm
jealous.lol
(i would be to)

Please darling, I have a thousand more t-cells than she does and the same amount of diarrhea.
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: bryan21 on July 17, 2010, 04:44:17 pm
well okay idk if thats good or bad...?
but it WAS FUNNY!
lol
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: Ann on July 17, 2010, 04:48:27 pm
You do go on and on about that :)

True. Guilty as charged. I want to present the other side of the coin to all those who shill for starting meds ASAP regardless of numbers or overall health. :)

Please darling, I have a thousand more t-cells than she does and the same amount of diarrhea.

The only time I have teh dire-rear is when I take breaks from the codeine. :P
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: hotpuppy on July 21, 2010, 09:42:35 pm
Bryan,
  The most important thing to do at this point is to relax.  HIV is like chess, but the game goes on for the rest of your life.  Winning is every day that you can keep going, and losing is what happens in the end.  Things are on your side and there is absolutely no reason you can't life a normal, long life.

What happens next is that you need to learn about the virus and how to stay healthy.  Most ASO (AIDS/HIV Service Organizations) offer a class.  Here in Houston it's called Next Step.  The Poz Site also has lessons which are similar.  I recommend both.

You also need to get into treatment.  Chances are you don't have insurance and don't make much.  Again, an ASO can help you get treatment through a program called Ryan White.  Ryan White Care Act is called Ryan White for short, and was named after a boy who became HIV positive.  The story is worth knowing because chances are your situation is better.    The program is run by each state and funded by the Federal Government in the US.  I'm guessing you are in the US.  If not your situation will be slightly different but similar.

The first step to treatment is for your doctor to run a bunch of bloodwork.  It sounds worse than it is.  A nice lady will take some blood and they will check to see how healthy you are.  They will check your virus amount, immune function, and check for other STDs.  HIV usually comes with other STDs and this is called co-infection.

Most other STD's are easily treated, so don't despair if you won extra prizes.  :)  Most of the time the treatment is a pill or a shot of antibiotics.  It's critical that you get treated for treatable STD's.  Don't let anyone shame you into anything either.  There is no shame in STD's or any other infection.  There is only have and have not with regards to infection.  If you have it, the how isn't as important as the treatment.

Aside from HIV, which you can think of as a pet.... you should continue to think about college and other life type plans.  I suggest thinking about HIV as a pet because like a pet, it requires attention and care.  Neglecting HIV will cause it to "tear the house up" with it's house being your body.  Looking after it with visits to the doc and meds will keep it contained and "in it's cage" so to speak.

The rest of your life is still in front of you and that's an exciting thing that many of us "old bats" would love to have again.  I'm 37, soon to be 38 and yes, I know I probably sound old as hell to you at 21.  When I was 21, 37 and 77 didn't seem much different. 

Hope to see more posts from you in the near future and welcome to the forums.
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: hotpuppy on July 21, 2010, 09:43:38 pm
I don't even need meds yet.

That's because your special.  Very special.   :P  That's also why they keep you on an island.  ;D  

We love you more than our luggage though.   8)

FYI - Ann is in England, which is still considered an island last time I checked. 
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: Ann on July 22, 2010, 12:32:13 am

FYI - Ann is in England, which is still considered an island last time I checked. 

I'm bloody not. I live on a Rock in the middle of the Irish Sea and on behalf of Manx persons the world over, I take exception to what you wrote. So there.
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: hotpuppy on July 22, 2010, 12:47:36 am
I'm bloody not. I live on a Rock in the middle of the Irish Sea and on behalf of Manx persons the world over, I take exception to what you wrote. So there.

Hmm, from a yankee perspective, isn't the whole of the british isles in the middle of the irish sea?  lol.   

After all, Europe is just across the "puddle" from us.   

No offense intended.    ::)
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: wtfimpoz on July 22, 2010, 12:48:49 am
Hmm, from a yankee perspective, isn't the whole of the british isles in the middle of the irish sea?  lol.   

After all, Europe is just across the "puddle" from us.   

No offense intended.    ::)

HP, you always go outta your way to help the newbies.  Why?
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: hotpuppy on July 22, 2010, 12:53:14 am
Because when I was first infected a few people took me under their wing and showed me the way.

I have enough experience now to return the favor and it was recent enough that I still remember what it felt like to become poz.  For me it's like seeing someone trip and fall.  My instinct is to reach out and offer a steady hand.  It's the right thing to do. 

I also enjoy helping others and it is more rewarding then cruising my favorite sex site....although there is something to be said for getting laid..... :)
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: Ann on July 22, 2010, 12:55:43 am
Hmm, from a yankee perspective, isn't the whole of the british isles in the middle of the irish sea?  lol.  


Typical American - no idea of geography. No, the British Isles are not wholly in the middle of the Irish Sea. There's only one place that holds that distinction, and that's the Isle of Man. And yes, I'm proud to be an inhabitant.
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: hotpuppy on July 22, 2010, 12:59:37 am
I think you missed my joke......

I was inverting the relationship between Ireland and Britain.  Seeing as the British have never really conquered the Irish the joke was that Britain is in the Irish sea, not the other way around.

I actually enjoy Google Earth and I'll look for your rock next time I'm on the desktop PC.
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: Ann on July 22, 2010, 01:05:31 am
I think your "joke" just missed the mark. You have no idea how much.
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: Scotty87 on August 17, 2010, 07:02:50 pm
It's scary... I am 23 and found out that I was positive in January. Feels like it has been forever since I found out, the months following dragged by from constant worrying and struggling to find out "What do I do next?"   I needed someone to tell me what to do, I hated not knowing the answers to the questions that I was being asked by the different people that I had to speak with.  I felt so stupid talking to my doctors, counselors and the health department.  Most of them assumed that I knew everything already, which was frustrating as hell and only made me feel worse.  Knowledge is the only thing that helped me.  As I was told by others - be careful who your resources are on that knowledge because some of it is crap, but just do your best and you'll get it with time.  I didn't know the difference between being Hiv+ and having AIDS.  So once I knew I was positive, then I held on to the hope that I hadn't developed aids.  Kind of traumatic to realize that it had already gotten to that point when I got my first set of numbers back.  I thought everything was over.  Additionally, the strain i had was resistant to several of the meds. The thought of taking meds every day, not missing them, having horrible side effects, was miserable at best.  On top of that how the hell was I going to pay for them.  My income was definitely less than what they would cost each month.   Come to find out,  it wasn't the end of the world.  I prepared for the worst when I first got my meds, with full financial support from the state.  Everything  I had prepared for was pointless.  I was making it out to be worse than it turned out to be.  After three months on my meds my viral load was undetectable and my t-cells had gone from 99 to 599 (somewhere around there, lol... sorry I don't have the numbers by me and i can't remember exactly.)  Anyway, sorry to post such a long story on yours, haven't really talked on here much and had a few minutes before leaving work.  My point in this random information is that no matter how hopeless or stupid or scared or lost you may feel, you're not alone.  Like so many other people who have been in your spot before, you'll soon be where they are - realizing that everything is okay, and replying to someone else's post, reassuring them that the very thing you were once terrified of yourself - will be okay...

Go back tomorrow for my next set of results.  Still nervous, but it will be fine and I know that now.
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: thankyoulilmijo on August 17, 2010, 07:41:03 pm
Hey kiddo... 23 here in Southern Ca.... Give me an AIM str8ocjock23... Lets talk I'll walk you through thr process and tell you everything you need to know..


Jonathan
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: nmranger on October 04, 2010, 11:04:29 pm
Hey Bryan sorry to hear about your positive status, i became positive in Aug, and i'm 22.   Hopefully your doing better then when you first posted this.
Title: Re: pos for secound month...21 yrs old...
Post by: bryan21 on October 10, 2010, 04:08:09 am
Hey everyone! I am doing alot better here after a whole six (6) count em six moths later!
That's how long it took me to understand that I am okay and this is just another bump in the road that is my life!  :D
I am back to my old self again and trying to become something! I have a job I am trying to get my ducks in a role. Thnk u all for the words of surport I was a fucking DOWNER there for a aloooong time! I thought HIV was going to hinder my way of life now I see It cant and wont do that to me I wont lett it! I just have to be wise and smart about what I do from here on out!  ::)

@ Scotty87 How was the doctor visit!?? I go back the 18 th of this month October to have blood taken..
This is my 3rd time going and every other time my heart was racing and my blood pressure was threw the roof LMFAO I really freak out you know but that is normal..

But yea I am trying to build a little web of people that I can vent to and chatt with so yall peeps add my ass on facebook or myspace I should have my facebook URL linked up with my profile on here..so yalls add me!! ::)
Bryan from Nashville TN!
Just look me up..can't miss my ass! hahaahe ;D
thnk you all again and take care and funnn!