Worried about exposure

[nycjack]

Hi all-

I am a but nervous about a sexual encounter I just had and am worried about potential HIV exposure

I was bottoming for an HIV+ man whose viral load is undetectable, using a condom, who lost his erection about 6-8 minutes after we began 9 (we had been drinking). He tool the condom off and we made out, had oral sex for about 10-15 minutes (no cuts or sore in our mouths)

He regained his erection and reused the initial condom, and we had sex for just about another minute before he lost his erection again. Nowhere near ejaculation

I checked and there was no break in the condom, but I am concerned if he could have turned the condom inside out or even if not, could there still be a risk of pre-ejaculate remaining with viable virus in the condom although it was off at least 10-15 minutes?

I feel more ashamed and angry at myself for allowing him to reuse a condom which I know is awful. At the same time I didn't run out for PEP because I feel deep down the risk is still low, mainly because he was nowhere near to ejaculating this night.

any words of advice/scolding/help would be most appreciated!

thank you

[Jeff G]

Hi Jack , HIV is a fragile virus that can not survive once exposed to oxygen , its instantly damaged and rendered unable to infect .

You didn't have a risk in the situation you described , it wasn't low risk it was no risk .

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED HIV TESTING AT THIS TIME FOR THIS INCIDENT , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

[nycjack]

Thank you for the rapid reply- and for helping to curb my concern-

so may just follow up and ask - has the whole "oral sex worry about an open sore in your mouth" theory of being infected no longer a large concern? That absolutely NO HIV virus from pre-cum or even semen in ones mouth can infect you if there has been recent gum bleeding or a canker sore or anything? even if you have a really tight seal?

again thank you for your time

Jack

[Jeff G]

Thank you for the rapid reply- and for helping to curb my concern-

so may just follow up and ask - has the whole "oral sex worry about an open sore in your mouth" theory of being infected no longer a large concern? That absolutely NO HIV virus from pre-cum or even semen in ones mouth can infect you if there has been recent gum bleeding or a canker sore or anything? even if you have a really tight seal?

again thank you for your time

Jack

The scant few cases of oral transmission of HIV has been confined to the person performing oral sex on a male partner with meth mouth or horrendous oral health on a person infected with the virus . Its exceedingly rare and has only been documented a few times in the 30 years since the epidemic began . I might also add that some of the cases of oral transmission were dubious and later found to have other risk factors in play , making it all the more rare .

If you had a risk we would tell you so that you could protect your health and the health of others as well .   

[nycjack]

Hi- I am writing back because I had some follow up questions regarding my initial post, and also because I am concerned

I appreciate and understand your reply to my question regarding reused condom, but I am still confused as to why my experience was considered 'no risk' --

If hiv can live in fluids for a short period of time, wouldn't the end of a moist, warm condom actually be a preferred environment for it to survive? Is it only in high laboratory doses that this was found to be the case? I've seen your threads on Pre cum and fingering as well as it being on the outside of a condom but can you reiterate or give me any stats on how there have been NO infections this way? If so why does the CDC warn against such things - that hiv can stay alive if wet for hours

Don't mean to be annoying but entering my 3rd week of potential exposure and getting worried and twisted by the plethora of information out there.

I am  comforted by the fact that I have no other signs/symptoms of other stds, but this potential hiv exposure is frustrating me since I didn't take PEP and would appreciate any clarification you could help me with

Jack

[Jeff G]

We don't comment much on what other sites put out there about HIV . Our team here has many decades of experience in dealing with HIV transmission and science .

We base our information on the latest updated peer reviewed science , something other sources have failed to do .

HIV is sexually acquired from unprotected vaginal and anal sex . You did not have a risk unless you engaged in those two risk factors . We have explained that HIV is fragile and cannot be transmitted from fingering or from handling a condom .

If you could be infected from the simple act of putting a condom on god have mercy on all of us . Nobody has ever been infected that way and you will not be the first .