How worried should I be?

[collegeguy11]

So here's the situation:

I got really drunk one night and had a one night stand with a guy I met that night.  It was stupid, a bad decision, I regret it, felt gross, and won't do it again, lesson learned.  Thing is, I topped and used a condom but the condom broke part way through and so we just used lube and continued for a little bit longer (stupid... never doing that again, was so drunk), but had to stop because his friends came back so  I didn't ejaculate.  He told me that he was recently tested and tested negative... but I'm still worried.  How worried should I be exactly?  I topped, he said he was negative, I wore a condom for the first half, I didn't ejaculate but.... he could be HIV+ and not know it or lied and there was unprotected sex.  I'm going to get tested in 3 months, but I just don't know if I should be stressing now because there's chance that I might be infected.  Like I know there is a chance, but a realistic one that I should really be worried about? Ah, I don't know help.  There was also oral and rimming but I heard from other forums that those aren't realistic risks... I guess that's what I'm asking like is this risk worth worrying about? 

[Matty the Damned]

Ok.

There is a HIV risk here, but that risk is not huge. You were protected until the condom broke but given that you continued to have unprotected anal sex after that, you do need to be tested for HIV.

As I say the specific risk here is not great, particularly as you were the insertive partner. The receptive partner is at far greater risk during unprotected anal sex.

But that is not the same as no risk. You need to be tested for HIV 13 weeks from the date of the most recent episode of unprotected anal sex.

You should also be tested for STDs other than HIV. Things like gonorrhoea and chlamydia are far more common and transmissible than HIV. You should speak to your doctor or local clinic about a full sexual health screen.

Combining excessive alcohol consumption and casual sex is not a good idea as it can easily lead to situations such as this one.

MtD

[collegeguy11]

Thanks for your quick reply, I appreciate it.  Also, I won't combine excessive alcohol and casual sex again...

Your reply kind of made me more worried though... I'm for sure going to get tested in 13 weeks but my mind keeps reeling through the idea of my getting HIV even though the risk is small.  I guess you can't really answer how risky "not great" risk is.... but I feel like I'm going to obsess over this and let this ruin my next 13 weeks.... I know I should keep busy and not think about it, etc., but still how worried should I be given he told me he was neg, I was top, half of the sex was protected.  Also, I'm pretty sure he doesn't get around too much, he's young and goes to a small school with not a lot of options for gay sex.... Bah my next 13 weeks are gonna suck.... and there's a "not great" but still some risk that the rest of my life will too.... shit kind of worried/ freaking out.

[Matty the Damned]

Thanks for your quick reply, I appreciate it.  Also, I won't combine excessive alcohol and casual sex again...

Your reply kind of made me more worried though... I'm for sure going to get tested in 13 weeks but my mind keeps reeling through the idea of my getting HIV even though the risk is small.  I guess you can't really answer how risky "not great" risk is.... but I feel like I'm going to obsess over this and let this ruin my next 13 weeks.... I know I should keep busy and not think about it, etc., but still how worried should I be given he told me he was neg, I was top, half of the sex was protected.  Also, I'm pretty sure he doesn't get around too much, he's young and goes to a small school with not a lot of options for gay sex.... Bah my next 13 weeks are gonna suck.... and there's a "not great" but still some risk that the rest of my life will too.... shit kind of worried/ freaking out.

OK, chill out.

When I say your risk is not great, I mean that I expect you to test negative for HIV at the end of the window period. I can't guarantee it, but I would be very suprised if this one incident led to you being infected with HIV.

Very surprised.

It doesn't really matter what he says, people say all sorts of things especially when it comes to sex and HIV. The only way you can really be sure about your HIV status is to be tested.

As for dealing with the stress? Well you've got the right idea. Keep busy. The time will pass quicker than you expect. Try not to trawl the internet looking for answers --- mad googling about this sorta stuff only makes things worse.

MtD

[collegeguy11]

Thanks for your help.  One last question, would a 6 week test be worth getting or should I just wait for the 13 week test?  Like are 6 week test results (getting tested 6 weeks after last possible exposure) pretty reliable or no?

[Matty the Damned]

Thanks for your help.  One last question, would a 6 week test be worth getting or should I just wait for the 13 week test?  Like are 6 week test results (getting tested 6 weeks after last possible exposure) pretty reliable or no?

A 6 week test is a very good idea. Most people who are going to seroconvert as HIV positive do so at around the 4 week mark. If you are HIV negative at 6 weeks then your chances of testing negative at the end of the 13 week period are pretty much all but certain.

Just remember that a 6 week negative result must be confirmed at the 13 week mark.

MtD