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Author Topic: The day I died  (Read 3222 times)

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Offline rt2100

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  • Always look ahead never look back.
The day I died
« on: July 17, 2014, 10:15:04 pm »
I was born on August 14 1965, I died on February 18, 2013, at least that is what it felt like when I was told after coming off life support that I had HIV. You see, it's like someone took every part of my life and turned it upside down, and inside out, then put that part of me, the part that is happy, healthy, and full of life in the ground, and what was left was just a shell of my former self. For six months this is how i felt, dead, hollow, unwanted, a ghost. Then I found the most amazing thing.
A shovel ! 

Excerpt from a book I'm writing about staying positive while being pozative

RWT
Take only from others what you are willing to give back from the heart. Be kind, be loyal, be true. Could this be friendship?

RWT (Me)

Offline auspoz

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Re: The day I died
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2014, 06:18:08 am »
That was me in 2008. Good on you for coming through. Hang on to that shovel. ;)

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: The day I died
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2014, 07:56:32 am »
Did you get very very sick, terminally ill from undiagnosed HIV? 

I got HIV about 6 years ago.  I got sick during seroconversion. My new HIV infection was identified even before I had antibodies. Here in Switzerland, we have pretty comprehensive, very easy to access, easy to afford medical care.  I was on treatment soon enough. Had to switch combos a few times to get the perfect one.  Yada yada.

I don't deny your experience.  Must have been harrowing.  Tell your story!  Personally I think all the stories should be told.  So far in that paragraph it just seems to me as your reader that I am making assumptions about HIV that may not be true. Its a dramatic paragraph and the most pressing question I ask about your narrative when I read it - is why were you on life support?

Hope you post some more paragraphs so I can learn more about your experience..  You got me hooked with that mysterious shovel... 

Welcome here.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2014, 08:02:13 am by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline rt2100

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Re: The day I died
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2014, 11:33:32 am »

After a 6 hour surgery on my spinal cord, Unforeseen circumstance happened and I was placed on life support. When I woke up my neurosurgeon was sitting by my bed, along with another doctor that introduced himself as an infectious decease doctor, this doctor stated latter on after i came fully around that he had bad news, I thought I already new the bad news as i could not feel my legs, I told him this and he stated nope, that's not the bad news, the bad news is you contracted pneumocystis carinii pneumonia, he stated that this is common among people that have a cd4 count below 200 . Ding the bells went off. I then asked him, doc, do I have HIV ? He stated yes, you do. He went on to tell me that the CDC  considers a person with HIV who has a cd4 bellow that number to have aids. That's the short version Mecch, and the beginning of my journey. 
Take only from others what you are willing to give back from the heart. Be kind, be loyal, be true. Could this be friendship?

RWT (Me)

Offline rt2100

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Re: The day I died
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2014, 11:36:30 am »
Oh and by the way, my proverbial shovel never leaves my side, I need it in case I start to sink again....:)
Take only from others what you are willing to give back from the heart. Be kind, be loyal, be true. Could this be friendship?

RWT (Me)

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: The day I died
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2014, 01:16:14 pm »
scary  :'(.
Was the spinal cord injury related to having AIDS or unrelated? Did you get your mobility back?
How are you doing now, a year later, on your HIV treatment?
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline rt2100

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  • Always look ahead never look back.
Re: The day I died
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2014, 05:22:59 pm »
The spinal injury was unrelated and I had no indications of HIV prior to this hospitalization. I am doing well now and have regained the use of my legs but left leg has peripheral neuropathy due to nerve damage. I have only been on one HIV regiment Norvir, Prezista, Truvada and this has worked well as my CD4 is almost 500 and my VL is undetectable. I have no side effects from these drugs and am thankful for this. Please feel free to ask me any questions you like. I will try to answer them as best I can. My journey has not been as long as some in the forums but its a journey non the less and I have found simply by reading posts that not all have the same journey and all are as unique and as important.  I do hope to keep as healthy as I can and to write about this roller coaster ride every day. I truly thank you for your concern and your questions.
Take only from others what you are willing to give back from the heart. Be kind, be loyal, be true. Could this be friendship?

RWT (Me)

Offline elf

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Re: The day I died
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2014, 05:42:51 pm »
I've been HIV positive for 6 years now, even though I'm on meds (with good numbers) I feel terrible, being discriminated against and being rejected by people around me is slowly killing me. I hope you can find a way to feel fine, HIV is easy to deal with, people are not, and this sucks...
« Last Edit: July 18, 2014, 05:46:32 pm by elf »

Offline rt2100

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Re: The day I died
« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2014, 07:38:51 pm »
elf,
It has been my experience that those who discriminate against others regardless of there difference are not only ignorant but for the most part cant even define the very word discriminate. Don't let these people get you down, rather hold your head up high and rise above them. To allow these kind of people to make you feel this way is to empower them. Stay well, find your own peace and don't let anyone or anything take it away. You said that you hope that I can find a way to feel fine, I did, by not allowing others to hold me back, put me down or make me feel like I was less of a human than they. And by not allowing HIV to control me. I'm very glad that you have good numbers, your journey has obviously been longer than mine. Believe me when I say I take  a great deal of inspiration from the fact that you after 6 years are doing good. Thank you. I am inspired.
Take only from others what you are willing to give back from the heart. Be kind, be loyal, be true. Could this be friendship?

RWT (Me)

Offline BT65

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Re: The day I died
« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2014, 07:25:15 am »
RT, I am happy to read you are doing so well just after one year diagnosis.  That is wonderful.  Writing is very helpful for some people in dealing with HIV.  If you ever finish your book, I would love to read it.

Elf, if you are around people who treat you bad because of HIV, then it's time to look for new people to hang around. 

I personally don't care if someone knows I have HIV.  Save for a few people, I usually told people I became friends with.  The ones I was most concerned with were the older, more "traditional" members of my family.  And surprise, surprise, they were all okay with it.  It took a bit of education for some, but after that, they were fine.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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