my friend for ever

[kanika123]

hello i live in thailand....my girlfriend has HIV and cd4 count is about 170 the doctor will put her on meds soon!! she gets cold and coughs all the time sometimes she has a high fever(i though dengue fever),and always wants to sleep.she has lumps in her vagina.dry eyes and head aches every day.....are these all the signs of HIV,should i be pushing her a bit more to go on meds now.she cries a lot and feels like nothing to live for.i bought her a new car and enrolled her at uni,but she is still so sad.

she was diagnosed 3 years ago then her cd4 count was 370.i was lucky came up neg.i try to do all i can but i must admit some times i want to run away it is dragging me down.she is always sick,will she get better when she starts meds or is it going to be worse for awhile? i feel so guilty about being neg...and having a run away feeling, i will never leave her but i do have these feelings.she is 28 just starting her life.

i was diagnosed 2 years ago with diabetes so no longer have any interest in sex,very timely considering our situation.she said she never wants sex again and we have not for over 18 months now.when i read the stories on this and other forums i get very sad.i feel so helpless.i want to help but so little i can do.
ok i feel better now after telling my story.

[mecch]

That's a lot of pressure and sorry you have to deal with such serious issues.
Is access to HIV medicine difficult in Thailand? According to many countries treatment protocals, your girlfriend should be on treatment.  In all likelihood, she is exhausted and sick and she will feel MUCH better once the effective treatment is started.
So you need to do that, and then also find a couple's counselor to get your relationship back to some happiness and a future.  No sex isn't a good sign.  This can change but your girlfriend's health needs to improve, mentally and physically, and you need to get over your fear of HIV and adjust whatever it is about diabetes that is hurting your sexual desire.  Good luck

[Ann]

she gets cold and coughs all the time sometimes she has a high fever(i though dengue fever),and always wants to sleep.she has lumps in her vagina.dry eyes and head aches every day.....are these all the signs of HIV,should i be pushing her a bit more to go on meds now.

Hi kanika, welcome to the forum.

Those aren't "signs" of hiv, but the coughing and fever may be a sign of a type of pneumonia (PCP) that people with hiv and low CD4s sometimes get. She needs to be seen by a doctor familiar with hiv related OIs (Opportunistic Infections) as soon as possible. It sounds as though she needs a complete check-up, including investigating those vaginal lumps.

If she has PCP pneumonia, going on hiv meds alone will not cure the PCP. The PCP must be treated separately.

Please read through the Lessons found elsewhere on this website. In that section you will find information on OIs including PCP. Feel free to come back here and ask any questions that may come up during your reading of the Lessons.

Most importantly, get your girlfriend to see a doctor to find out what is going on with her health.

Good luck!

Ann

PS - the coughing and fever could also be symptoms of TB. Please have her see a doctor - it could always just be a common cold, but with her CD4 count, she should to see a doctor asap.