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Author Topic: Happy World AIDS Day!  (Read 10174 times)

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Offline Matty the Damned

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Happy World AIDS Day!
« on: November 30, 2010, 07:48:30 am »
Dear Fellow Diseased Pariahs,

WAD is upon us and, as I am otherwise occupied of late, I thought it only fitting to give y'all a festive poke in the eye.


On this most terrible of days I would like acknowledge some of our fallen brothers and sisters, in no particular order. I'll try to match their real life names with (their usernames).

James (Gecko31)
Kate (Penguin)
Christine
Daddy Tim (Moffie65)
Ric (Ric Wilke)
Lisa (Sweetieweasel)

There may be others, but I can't remember their names. For those whose memories are better than mine feel free to add to this list be they AM members or not.

Anyway, whatever you do on December 1 I suggest you dwell on the follwing:

Be generous and kind. Think of somebody dear. Whatever you do remember that everything else is just background noise. -- Gecko31 September 2005.

Fuckin' oath.  :-*

MtD

Offline ds4146

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2010, 08:21:12 am »
Not sure about happy, but certainly I will be remembering a number of people and the reason behind the day. Peace to all here and gone.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2010, 08:57:44 am »
I will also be remembering as I do every day my dear friends .

Allen or mouse as I called him .

Nathen , my funny competitive friend who was the master of the cock block .

Albert , my loyal hard working friend who planned for the future and the benefit of others .

Brian ... we could have been great lovers but they had to keep us separated so we wouldn't use up all the narcotics in the metro chicago area .     
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Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2010, 09:01:10 am »
I would add these (as far as I know) non forum members:

Matty P. -- Some of y'all might remember my mentioning him in the Old Forums.
Kandy Lee -- Has it been two years? :(
Mother Davidson -- 'nuff said really.

MtD

Offline BT65

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2010, 03:46:01 pm »
And just 5 of the many:

Rick A., the most generous soul I've known.

Laura H-whose 5-year old daughter drew a picture of the world, put a band-aid on it, and wrote "the world is hurted," (not prompted) underneath it when Laura was in her last days.

Jim H-who just passed this last week.  I knew Jim for 18 years, and he told me for the last 18 that he was dying. Now he's at peace.

Glen J-one of the finest activists in Hoosierville.
 
Bill H-my bestest friend.  Just saw a picture of his quilt panel last week.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline wolfter

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2010, 04:08:05 pm »
It sometimes is difficult to remember the all too numerous people I've known, lost to this awful disease.  3rd decade now, and I still recall some of the great experiences we shared.  Miss them all!
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2010, 04:24:14 pm »

"ConfidentIWillbeOk"- Steve (a member for just a short time before his accident) :(

My buddy Scott (non member) - Hands down the most gentle soul I knew, and a hell of a DJ


Peace to all those who have gone, and blessings to all of us who still struggle


-Will
« Last Edit: November 30, 2010, 04:31:18 pm by WillyWump »
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Offline Gio

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2010, 04:38:17 pm »
I am a newbie and i cannot imagine how it must of been like to many here!  :( ....  But I thank them for their bravery their defiance without them we would have never gotten to were we are today..   So lets kick some ass!!  WE are not down yet..  ;D

Offline newt

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2010, 04:59:04 pm »
Sometimes I walk with the dead, and sometimes I kick myself for forgetting them, and others I am happy in a normal every day kind of way. - matt
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline peteb

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #9 on: November 30, 2010, 05:07:30 pm »
My Brother Alex (non member) miss you

Offline Joe K

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2010, 05:32:46 pm »
I had a dream, where a very dear friend, long deceased came to me and we had a conversation over coffee. Grant told me that it was time for me to stop mourning the loss of others, to accept the hopelessness of those times and to recognize that I made a difference, when it mattered most. He told me to remember that my loved ones, live on in my heart and are present each time I reach out to someone. He also told me, that it was not my fault that anyone died and my survival was not only by chance, but a result of my own determination to live and perhaps, my destiny. He reminded me of all I have done and that sometimes, no matter how hard we may try, bad things do happen to good people.

He left me with the thought of completing my mourning, for all the losses to HIV, while celebrating all that HIV has brought into my life. I miss my friends terribly; however mourning their passing just obscures the memories that really matter. It was our shared life that mattered and that is how I now choose to remember them. I no longer mourn what was taken from me and instead I reflect and recognize just how much of them live on, in me. And in that vein, I offer a dual tribute on this day, and it goes something like this:

For all the souls, who have been lost to HIV, I share in mourning your passing, while celebrating your lives. So many of you shared the very best of yourselves with others and you left the world, a better place because of you. You taught us so many lessons, shared so much empathy and you built a legacy for the HIV community that will never be forgotten. So many people lost, who exemplified the strength of character, when dealing with times that were beyond any comprehension. While you will never be forgotten, you will forever be loved.

For all the souls who are infected with HIV, I commend you, and for good reason. No matter the changes in the science or treatment of HIV, there remains the inescapable trauma of becoming poz and making the adjustment that requires.  I want to remind you of your strength of character in dealing with all the challenges that HIV can represent. I remain in awe, of those who refuse to surrender to HIV and instead channel their energies into attaining the life they want. Adjusting to being poz, is overcoming a challenge that is often beyond comprehension and that deserves to be celebrated. No matter how long you have been living with HIV, the very fact that you eventually coexist with HIV, is a feat of herculean strength, your strength. Sometimes you may forget that and today seemed like a good day to remind you of your monumental achievement: You have become a survivor.

Always remember, never forget.

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #11 on: November 30, 2010, 08:03:22 pm »
I remember my buddy Joe who helped me landscape the yard when I purchased my home 10 years ago.  He would come out from the city and spend days at a time and we would work, play, party, and just enjoy doing stuff together.  The meds he took caused him to not enjoy eating the meals I would fix, and at that time I did not understand the extent of what he was going through.  I can still hear him in my mind today telling me how AIDS would not be the cause of his death.  In the end, it was and he died in the hospital in 2005.  He was such a great guy and I miss him LOTS. 
« Last Edit: November 30, 2010, 08:04:59 pm by hope_for_a_cure »

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #12 on: November 30, 2010, 08:14:55 pm »
Jimmy -- a non-member, my first love - my friends used to see me look at him, smile at him, and talk with him and about him and always say "Phil loves him some Jimmy." --- He was a Maxwell (the singer) look alike, who had a smile that didn't have to light up a room - although it did - but more importantly it was a smile that lit up my life.   

Miss and love you Jimmy. --- ("now smile for me" - that was my favorite thing to say to him).
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline leatherman

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #13 on: November 30, 2010, 08:25:29 pm »
like the other 364 days of the year, this is another day that I'll happily remember the times I had with my Randy and my Jim; and another day that I'll sadly remember that both are gone. Only on this day, others around me will take a moment to remember not only Randy and Jim; but many of my other friends who have passed on too, and that will only make me sadder (if such a thing is possible) this one day. :'(

Thankfully many people and places (like my ASO with the program that they'll be putting on at a local university) will be able to use this day to remind the world that AIDS/HIV is still here.
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline ds4146

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #14 on: November 30, 2010, 09:00:05 pm »
Just found these....and well, there you have it.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40422362

Offline leatherman

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #15 on: November 30, 2010, 11:12:07 pm »
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #16 on: December 01, 2010, 01:08:04 am »
David J.-- He was a family friend.  We visited him in Palm Springs, CA in 1992 when I was 16.  We were having dinner and he was coughing so much.  But, he put on a brave face trying to get through the visit.  No one ever told me he had AIDS before that.  Even at that age, not knowing much of anything about HIV, I knew something wasn't right.  I was told he had AIDS.  He died a couple months later.

John S.--  Another family friend who I had gotten to know.  I last saw him on July 4th, 2007.  We were in D.C. for the fireworks and he used his hotel credits to get us a room.  He was so nice.  I knew he was HIV positive.  I just didn't know he refused to take his meds.  He died in 2008--just before I was diagnosed.  I wish I would have known my status, so he and I could talk about it.  I decided not to delete his number from my phone.  When I scroll through my phonebook, seeing his name is a reminder to me to always keep in medical care.  We share the same last name even though we're not related.     

Offline edfu

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #17 on: December 01, 2010, 04:42:14 am »
In memoriam, with thanks for the affection, friendship, kindness, and laughs:

Louis Brodesser, David B. Feinberg, Randy Shilts, Christopher Coe, Clay Dickinson, Washington Bellamy, David Felix, George Whitmore, Arthur Catania, William Carter, James Schiavone, Phillip Blackwell, Steve Cohn, Griffin Gold, John Campanella, Richard Kjelland, Anthony Riolo, Henry Luhrman, Robert Ferro, Michael Grumley, Peter Bessi, Paul Popham, Nathan Fain, Charles Ludlam, Terry McNulty, Ben Michalski, Christopher Larkin, David Motz, Michael Bennett, Calvin Culver a/k/a Casey Donovan, Jon Gaines a/k/a Jon King, Phillip Lanzaratta, Steven Baker, Steve D'Allesandro, Joseph Mauro, Barry Laine, Mort Gindi, Diego Lopez, William Whitehead, David Summers, Tony Cicalese, Ed Anthony, Bill Alvis, Jerry Barbato, Ronald Bentley, Louis Cicero, Fred Canataloupe, Raul Flores, Rob Fry, Christopher Humble, Richard Howe, Evan Paisner, Steven Shallat, Michael Saxon, Ken Vance, Michael Winthrop, Wes Weidner, Jeffrey Apter, Eric Fleming, Bill Betts, Thommie Bush, Christopher Cox, Paul Casey, Curtis Galloway, Richard Hall, Charles Jurrist, William Kinnucan, Keven Keneally, Randy Klose, Martin Levine, Theo List, Mark Mutchnik, Abelardo Menendez, Michael Monte, Clinton Morris, Joseph Pearson, Hugh Pinerola, John Preston, Darrell Yates Rist, Vito Russo, George Stambolian, John Sharki, Charles Whiteside, Matthew Ward, Ray Ford, Lewis Friedman, Patrick Cool, Robert Cecchi, Stanley Leventhal, Bruce Chatwin, Clark Tippett, Paul Monette, Thomas Stoddard, Bruce Voeller, Keith Haring, Derek Jarman, Vasilis Iracledes, Robert Joffrey, Alvin Ailey, Christopher Chadman, Sam Edwards, Philip Zwickler, Nicholas Dante, James Kirkwood, Mario Sartori, Larry Kert, Bruce Mailman, Leonard Matlovich, George Stavrinos, Louis Miele, Alan Barnett, John Fox, Gregory Rozakis, Thomas Williams a/k/a Joe Simmons, Steven Dorsky, Reinaldo Arenas, Michael Callen, Luis Rivera.

And so many, many more, beginning in 1981.  Requiescant in pace.
"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #18 on: December 01, 2010, 08:58:32 am »
The first people I knew who died of AIDS were a couple, Joe and Raymond. I remember they both died very quickly, just a few months after being diagnosed.

Offline AlanBama

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #19 on: December 01, 2010, 10:53:58 am »
Thank you Matty, for starting this remembrance thread.    My heart is heavy on this World AIDS Day.  My mind is filled with the pain and suffering of all the people I have lost over the years to this damned virus.
I wear my red ribbon today in remembrance of those that have gone before me, and in honor of all of us who continue to live with AIDS and all of the trials and tribulations it brings with it.   Especially those of us who plod along diligently, but in silence, due to the stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS.

I will light a candle today for our departed AIDSmeds Forum Family members, especially Daddy Tim and my dear Lisa.

Rest eternal grant to our loved ones, O Lord.
Light light perpetual shine upon them.
May the souls of all the departed, through the
Mercy of God, Rest in Peace
.


With love to all of you, from Alan

Silence = Death
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline weasel

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #20 on: December 01, 2010, 10:57:21 am »


               Happy AIDS DAY !

               Yes it has to be HAPPY !   WE are here ! Above  ground !

             I will be remembering  many friends and patrons that I served drinks to !

            Life changed terribly in the late 70's , many guys i knew from school were getting  ILL !

             No one knew why , Poppers were suspected !   But we still all went to New York City

            Everynight  for years !  Not caring about it !  HIV was not happing in our lives !

            Well  it was !   
 
                  Having   HIV then   ,  AIDS   for more than half of my life now , I have learned to deal with it !

              I pray for a cure !   Before  WE are gone .

                                                        Love to all my friends , Carl
" Live and let Live "

Offline MarcoPoz

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #21 on: December 01, 2010, 01:16:41 pm »
About 5 or 6 years ago I had to go to a conference in San Francisco.  I took the opportunity then to go to the AIDS Memorial Grove and do a rembrance ceremony for a number of people I felt as though I'd been 'carrying around' perhaps too long and with the wrong energy.  At the time, I celebrated over 45 names.  All individuals I knew and loved.

Now--more and more names have been added to the list.  I'm beyond numb.  I'm beyond battle weary.  I saw combat for most of my 8 year military enlistment, and one would think it would have prepared me for this.  One would be incorrect.

I dislike world AIDS day because of the platitudes and empty promises I hear from elected officials and our own 'ordained' poz leadership.

Fuck it.

I don't want a red ribbon.  I don't want a celebration.  As has been said by so many before me...

I only want a fuckin' cure and my friends back.

Offline edfu

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #22 on: December 01, 2010, 04:30:21 pm »
In honor of World AIDS Day 2010 PWA activist Mark King has produced this exceptionally moving video about the early days of the epidemic, "Once, When We Were Heroes":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7VpEsPMRpg&feature=player_embedded
"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline ds4146

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #23 on: December 01, 2010, 08:27:54 pm »
So went to work today with my "beaded ribbon", and not a soul knew what it was for. I office from the gay community if you will, went for coffee twice, and lunch, not a ribbon or sign of the day to be seen. Got lots of looks, trust me it was the ribbon and not me. I gradually turned more angry as the day passed, then I came on line and before posting listened to the guy in the big white house "commemorate" World AIDS Day, are you fucking kidding me. Maybe I am missing something, or I just am angry right now, or tired, or a combination of all three, but I can not think what this man has done for HIV/AIDS. And add to that, because I am gay, what has he done for the votes he got from our community.

And Leatherman, I am sorry but at the time of my last posting I could only find those photos. On a brighter note my sister did call me from New York to let me know that Empire was lite as she has a birds eye view.

Okay I need to see more RED, going to grab a glass of Merlot. Cheers!

Offline edfu

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #24 on: December 01, 2010, 08:54:13 pm »
"AIDS around the world" - except for in America :-X

See my post "A Day with HIV in America." 
"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline wolfter

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #25 on: December 01, 2010, 09:59:26 pm »
In honor of World AIDS Day 2010 PWA activist Mark King has produced this exceptionally moving video about the early days of the epidemic, "Once, When We Were Heroes":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7VpEsPMRpg&feature=player_embedded

Thank you so very much for sharing this link.  I haven't cried in a long time, but that video brought back all the emotions that occured over the past 25 years.  All the lost loved ones, the fear of dying, the fear of standing up and declaring ourselves.  Thanks again, this was a good cry.
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #26 on: December 01, 2010, 10:37:54 pm »
TiVo has a showcase on their menu where they usually have a "behind the scenes", or car advertisement or such. Today they had info about the (RED) program and HIV. It was good.

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #27 on: December 02, 2010, 01:11:42 am »
TiVo has a showcase on their menu where they usually have a "behind the scenes", or car advertisement or such. Today they had info about the (RED) program and HIV. It was good.

I just went to view it on my TIVO.  I saw the info about the RED campaign and I went to play "The Lazarus Effect" they also included.  It wouldn't play.  I backed out of it and it was gone.  It had changed to their ad for the new TIVO box.  This was at 1am EST.  I would have thought they'd keep it up until midnight Pacific time--at least.  But, it was good they did it.  I hope many looked at it.  I had already seen Lazarus anyway.

Offline Sista Pastah

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #28 on: December 04, 2010, 11:30:21 pm »
missing my husband who died 20 years ago... I wish he had taken his meds...he was filled with shame and fear of rejection.
Reverend Ingram
Living With HIV

no stigma/no shame.

Offline WhereIsTheArk

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #29 on: December 05, 2010, 09:12:00 am »
Everyday should be WORLD AIDS DAY! People are infected/affected EVERYDAY! The message needs to be implicated YEAR-ROUND!

Offline leatherman

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Re: Happy World AIDS Day!
« Reply #30 on: December 05, 2010, 11:08:08 am »
Everyday should be WORLD AIDS DAY! People are infected/affected EVERYDAY! The message needs to be implicated YEAR-ROUND!
If you have some time then, make sure to check with a local ASO, or your state's HIV Task Force, or any organization like that, to volunteer some of your time to help with their education/prevention programs. Although the message of safer sex is out there, it must be repeated and repeated and repeated to get into the minds and lives of our local high schoolers, college students, and minority groups. There are agencies out there trying to expound on this message year round. For these groups, Dec. 1st wasn't a special day at all; but one of a hundred days this year that they put on an educational program about HIV. And they always need and could use more help.

Not having very much "extra" time isn't an excuse either. The ASO I work with uses volunteers in not only the bigger jobs like speaking in education programs and manning the exhibition booths; but in little jobs like stuffing envelopes, making up the safer-sex kits (condoms, lube, pamphlets) that we pass out by the hundreds each month, or helping with all sorts of behind the scene issues.

It takes a concerted effort by a group of people to keep putting out the messages needed to get people to consider their sexual health and to protect themselves from HIV and other STDs. Everyone that wants to have a part can fulfill a role in helping towards that goal of making everyday a world AIDS day.
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

 


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