POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: bk49 on August 08, 2006, 03:13:32 am
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I am in the process of educating myself regarding HIV and AIDS. I was reading the "I just tested poz" section and I came across someone that says he was infected through "heavy petting." This made me a bit nervous as I was given a handjob by a woman of unknown status. As someone that wants to make sure, should I be tested for this action? Please let me know. Thanks.
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Sadly, not everyone who tests HIV positive it aware of, or correctly remembers, or is willing/able to state on a public message board with any certainty what his/her vector of transmission was. I notice that the longer someone is infected, the more likely they are to correctly remember how they got infected.
You absolutely CANNOT use messages from the newly infected (many of whom are as ignorant of transmission vectors as any non-infected person) as a scientific benchmark. Please remember that you are reading the raw thoughts and emotions of people at a singularly difficult time in their lives. Some of them are drug/alcohol abusers, some have major personality disorders. And some might be lying about the whole deal. We have NO way to verify any of that, besides our collective gut instinct.
Thats one of the major reasons why we rely on first-tiered peer reviewed science on this part of the forum. It's certainly a kindness to the fragile souls who are newly infected, and it provides us with the best track record for risk assessment on the net.
You absolutely CANNOT get HIV through a handjob, or heavy petting, or kissing. Its scientifically impossible.
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I would suggest to people who ask questions in the Am I Infected? forum, that they not pay too much attention to the things that are posted in the HIV specific forums. Which is everything except this forum and Off Topic. They (the HIV specific forums) bear little relevance to your particular cases. I know that sounds weird, but believe me it's true. The HIV specific forums, including I Just Tested Poz, will be a source of continual woe to Worried Wells.
Don't be symptom shoppers.
Rather I would direct your panicky gaze to our diamonte studded Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0).
MtD
(Who thinks he might report a certain thread in Another Forum to the Goderators)
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:) thread already reported, matty. I'm nothing if not fidgety when it comes to questionable posts or threads.
:)
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Thank you very much. So, is it safe to say that it is impossible to catch HIV from a hand job?
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Thank you very much. So, is it safe to say that it is impossible to catch HIV from a hand job?
You cannot contract HIV from giving or (should you be so blessed) receiving a hand job. Please read our Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0).
MtD
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Hello Experts,
I had a question regarding risk. What exactly is the risk from receiving a blow job for the receiver (the male that has his penis sucked)? Some sites say no risk, but others say that there is risk. Is this a reason to get tested? Also, if you give a female head, do you have to get tested? I am trying to determine whether oral sex is cause for concern. Thanks.
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bk,
I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.
If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.
Please also read through the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.
The only oral sex that carries any risk at all - and it's a tiny, tiny risk - is GIVING a blowjob. If you had read through the Welcome thread like you were asked last time you were here, you would have known this already and you would have known where to post your question as well.
Here's what you need to know in order to protect yourself against hiv infection:
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.
Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.
Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.
And PLEASE, read through that Welcome thread and follow the links found there. Use condoms for intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.
Ann
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Thank you. I understand that the risk of an unprotected Blow Job (for the man getting his penis sucked) is only theoretical. On the welcome site, it also states that if you get your anus fingered that it is theoretical. Just to confirm--theortical means "not probably" but can happen, so would you guys say that it is wise to get tested if for these activities since the "possibility" exists?
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Just to confirm--theortical means "not probably" but can happen
Actually,theoretical means that it has never, ever been documented and the means by which transmission would be successful require such extraordinary situations as to be unlikely to happen.
Theoretically, if someone cuts off the top of their finger and places it in your anus, you could become infected with HIV. Theoretically, if someone is hemmorrhaging from the mouth and performs oral sex, a transmission could be possible.
I do not think it prudent nor necessary to test over recieving oral sex nor getting fingered/fingering.Or kissing, or protected sex. Any sexually active adult should have a full STD panel twice a year, including an HIV test. That's simply being responsible.
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thank you very much. correct me if i am wrong, but if saliva (which is a body fluid) gets into the hole in the penis (where you urinate through), would it not cause infection? this is the reason why i was wondering whether i should test. thanks.
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bk,
Saliva is not infectious. You would know that little fact if you'd bothered to read the Transmission Lesson linked to in the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) Saliva contains over a dozen different properties that damages any hiv present and renders it unable to infect a new host. Saliva is NOT infectious.
Ann
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Thanks. I have a question regarding saliva and blood. If saliva is not infectious, why could it not effect the properties of blood to make it "not infectious?" doesn't blood in the mouth giving a blow job make it a risk?
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Ann has already answered this question, to wit:
Saliva contains over a dozen different properties that damages any hiv present and renders it unable to infect a new host. Saliva is NOT infectious.
Please take the time to read the advice we give you.
MtD
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i did the dumbest thing tonight. i went to a massage parlor and had sex with a sex worker. after 5 years of celibacy, i finally gave into the tempation. she gave me a rim job and i had sex with her with two condoms on (double bagged) because i am so paranoid. please let me know if i should get tested. thanks. i will wait and sweat while i wait for your answers. thanks again.
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bk,
This is the second time I've had to merge your threads. What part of do not start new theads don't you understand? Get with the program.
You used a condom and therefore didn't have a risk. Read the condom and lube links in my signature line.
Ann
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Thanks. Andy and other professionals--do you concur with Ann? I am a bit freaked now as you can imagine.
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I am really worried about the rim job as well. I am not sure if she had blood in her mouth. Many thoughts are racing in my head now. Please please... Is this experience a reason to test?
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please let me no if my risk was low risk or no risk? is a test necessary for the protected vaginal sex and rim job (she used her tongue on me)?
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please advise on what i should do. i can't even sleep. please help. what was my risk?
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bk,
You have already been told that nothing you describe is a risk for hiv infection. You don't need to test over this incident.
Ann
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thanks ann. just curious, but has there been no documented case of getting hiv with a properly used condom or from getting a rim job? is this why you said do not test? thanks agin.
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andy, please let me know if my risk was theoretical? has there been documented cases from this. thanks.
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Hi Ann,
I have noticed that you have given advice to others saying that as long as you properly use a condom, you avoid hiv. Has there never been a documented case of hiv even when using a condom?
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bk,
If you'd bother to read the Welcome thread like you're supposed to, you'd know all about the serodiscordant couple studies, where none of the negative partners became positive when condoms were used correctly and consistently. The only times I've heard of someone becoming infected despite condom use was the RECEPTIVE partner after a condom break. Even that is fairly rare.
You are just going to have to accept that you didn't have a risk. Keep using those condoms, and make sure you read through the condom and lube links in my signature line.
Ann
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Thanks Ann. My last question has to do with rimming. I could not find much information on this. If the girl uses her tongue to rim, couldn't HIV be passed from the girl's tongue? I heard that there are tears in the anus and with that, isn't it different from getting a blow job? Please let me know. Thanks again.
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bk,
Saliva is NOT INFECTIOUS no matter if it gets on your ass or your penis or anywhere else on your body.
You did NOT have a risk.
Ann
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As I think about my "risk," I want to know what you guys think about this statement: "If you correctly, use a condom during vaginal intercourse, you did not have a risk." Is this really really true? Ever since I learned about HIV and STDs, I have been super super paranoid, and from reading posts here it seems like it is "impossible" to catch HIV if you are PROPERLY wearing a condom. Has there never been a case where a male caught HIV from a female when properly using a condom? The reason I ask is because I am a paranoid person and I don't want to play Russian Roulette by having sex, even with a condom, if there is any risk associated with it. I know sex is a basic human need, but I rather not deal with the after effects. Please let me know if the statement about not having to worry about HIV is real when wearing a condom.
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bk,
You really don't need to worry about hiv when using a condom correctly.
You also need to realise that there are no 100% guarantees in life at all. For example, there is no guarantee that you won't get killed tomorrow in a freak accident. Does this stop you from getting out of bed in the morning? You have to decide what level of risk you are willing to accept. The ONLY way to guarantee 100% that you will never get any sort of sexually transmitted infection is to never, ever touch another person in a sexual way.
Look both ways before you cross the street and you won't get hit by a car. Use condoms correctly and consistently and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.
Ann
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Hello Andy, Ann, and other Professionals,
I have a question regarding my risk. I have some discomfort in my groin area (the crease from top of my leg to my body). I don't feel any swollen lymph nodes, but is this a symptom? Please let me know. Thanks.
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No, it is not a symptom. You again did not have an HIV risk situation.
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Nothing has changed in terms of your HIV concern. You were not at risk in the incident you came to this Forum about.
If you are having a symptom which is troubling you that is something to discuss with your doctor. It has absolutely nothing to do with HIV. Really.
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dear experts,
i was recently in asia and payed for a "massage." the actual intercourse with the woman was protected via a latex condom. but she licked my anus and that was unprotected (i was a bit surprised by this move as i an a rookie). after the "act" i made sure that there were no holes in the condom and there was none. is it true that even with a latex condom, "her juices" can get on your skin, which may lead to a test if her juices land on an open cut. also, would i have to get tested for her licking my anus without protection, as i did not see if she had blood in her mouth? please let me know. sorry for these specific questions. thanks.
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http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=2669.msg61503#msg61503 (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=2669.msg61503#msg61503)
YOUR ORGINAL POST, please keep all your questions and concerns in your orginal post.
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bk,
No, you haven't had a risk and you only need to test if it is part or your yearly, routine sexual health care check up.
Having your anus licked is NOT an hiv risk. Neither is protected intercourse.
You oringinally came here claiming to be educating yourself about hiv - but it seems like you haven't bothered to read the Transmission lesson, or any of the posts in THIS forum, where you'll find all the transmission questions, over and over and over again.
Ann
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i can't find my old posts, so i am using a new one. if someone finds it, please consolidate. i have a quick questions regarding sexual fluids. when a woman touches herself and uses the sexual fluids on her hands to give a man a hand job, is there any risk? i understand the risk may be small, so i guess i am trying to determine whether this type of activity merits a test. please let me know. thanks.
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bk,
I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.
If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.
Please also read through the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.
The new scenario you bring here is not a risk for hiv infection. It's what is considered mutual masturbation and it is absolutely NOT a risk for hiv infection. Have you bothered to read the Transmission Lesson yet? It would seem not.
Ann
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I consider myself well educated on testing as I have been a member of this forum for a while. But I am a bit scarred by an incident yesterday and would like some advice on whether testing is warranted.
Last night, I met a woman and we ended up having sex. Of course I used a condom. It did not last too long but when i took my penis out, the condom was sticking out of her and not on my penis. The condom was completely in tact and the semen was all in the condom. I may have pumped 5 more times after ejaculating, so I guess I started to lose the erection after ejaculation and that is why the condom ended up slipping off. I do not believe my penis penetrated her without the condom because the condom was not "scrunched up" inside her but rather just hanging out and the rubber rim of the condom as perfectly circular. But I am not 100% sure that I did not penetrate her without a condom. I just know that all the semen was inside the condom and when I took my penis out there was no condom on it (as mentioned earlier, the condom was not scunched inside but perfectly hanging out). Please give me some advice. Does this incident warrant testing? Thank you in advance.
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You lost the condom on withdraw because you didn't hold on to the condom. You were never at risk. You need to learn how to use condoms correctly.
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BK
Why did you start a new thread about this? Your original one can be found here (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=2669.0).
Besides being a notorious offender when it comes to multiple threading, you've been here since 2006 and you should know the rules by now.
MtD
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I apologize for starting a new thread. I could not find my old one as I have not logged in a while.
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Does this mean that this is not a testing issue even though I am not 100% sure that I penetrated her without a condom. I know I am a bit paranoid and I apologize in advance for my anxiety on this issue. All the evidence points towards the fact that the condom was on my penis until i took it out, but I am not 100% sure as I did a couple more thrusts after I lost my erection.
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Please click the red link in my post above to find your original thread.
Your questions will not be answered unless you return to your original thread.
MtD
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Does this mean that this is not a testing issue even though I am not 100% sure that I penetrated her without a condom. I know I am a bit paranoid and I apologize in advance for my anxiety on this issue. All the evidence points towards the fact that the condom was on my penis until i took it out, but I am not 100% sure as I did a couple more thrusts after I lost my erection.
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You stated the condom was hanging out. You were never at risk.
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bk,
If you'd ever bother to read the Welcome thread like you've been repeatedly asked to, you'd know how to find your thread.
You didn't have a risk. Get on with your life.
Ann
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Thank you very much Ann. And, I apologize for starting a new thread yesterday.
I have a quick follow up question. I stated that when I took my penis out, it did not have a condom on it and I thrust about 5 times after ejaculation. The semen was all in the condom. As I mentioned, the evidence (condom was not scrunched inside her; the "ring or band" of the condom was sticking out and the semen was all at the tip of the condom) points to the fact that the intercourse was covered but I am not 100% sure as I got softer after the ejatulation. I guess I am a bit scarred because it was uncovered when I took it out. Under what circumstances would a test be warranted in this case? Thanks again.
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BK,
No matter how you try to recast your question, our answers to you will not change. You had protected sex. The head of your penis was covered. You do not need to test.
You need to read our Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) and familiarise yourself with the posting guidelines. You will not permitted to ask endless questions about the same no risk situation.
MtD
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You've been coming here for almost four years. The basics about HIV protection have been repeatedly and thoroughly explained to you. You need to use the information that has been given to you to evaluate a situatuon for yourself rather than coming here everytime you have a burst of fear when you have sex.
You're on the verge of earning yourself a Time Out for returning over non-risks.
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Thanks for the reply Andy. I guess I do have a fear, to put it mildly. I was just a bit freaked out because when I took it out, there was no condom there. My main fear comes in the "what if" I thrust when I lost my erection and I entered her without a condom. That is my biggest fear. I apologize for being a numskull, but when It comes to this I do get quite scarred.
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Fortunately fears aren't facts. And the facts of the situation do not warrant thinking you had a genuine risk.
You need to get on with your life. And you are still on the verge of getting a Time Out. Get busy with other things...
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thank you for the reply Andy. i guess i need to give myself a time out.
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i have read numerous times on this forum that oral sex does not constitute testing. my question is this: if a man sticks his penis in a woman's mouth and she "deep throats" him, doesn't that constitute testing? isn't the head of a penis coming into contact with membraneous cells in the throat? i am fairly educated on the topic but this is one I could not answer. thanks in advance.
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Such an experience doesn't change the reality that saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which act as a very effective barrier to the transmission of viable HIV.
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so the head of the penis coming into contact with the back of the throat does not constitute testing?
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Reread what Andy said. You did not have a risik on contracting HIV.
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so the head of the penis coming into contact with the back of the throat does not constitute testing?
Of course not. Contrary to what is apparently a heteronorm, deep-throating is not *at all* an uncommon ability/activity.
There is no need to test over insertive oral sex. Period.
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hello,
i have a question regarding testing and use of condoms. maybe more for clarification... i have read in numerous posts that when using a condom effectively, a test is not warranted. but i have also read on this forum that if one is sexually active, he/she should be tested every three months. so my question is this: if one uses a condom effectively for three months, does he/she still need to test after three months? thank you in advance.
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We don't say get tested every 3 months if sexually active. What we recommend is testing with a full STD panel at least once a year and more frequently if there are any STD symptoms.
We do that because other STDs are much easier to acquire than HIV. So that's a prudent move on the part of anyone who is sexually active.
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thanks Andy. so the statement still holds? if one uses a condom effectively, no need to test in three months? is that fair? thanks again.
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thanks Andy. so the statement still holds? if one uses a condom effectively, no need to test in three months? is that fair? thanks again.
Yus, that is correct.
MtD
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i have read in a previous post from Andy that one should not worry about a small hole in a condom. he stated that when a condom fails, it is frayed like a hula hoop. does this mean microscopic holes in condoms are non existent? thanks.
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bk,
Microscopic holes in condoms is a myth put out by the Catholic Church. Pay no attention to it.
Ann
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thanks ann. so it is safe to say that "micro tears" in condoms is not something to worry about?
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thanks ann. so it is safe to say that "micro tears" in condoms is not something to worry about?
No such thing as "micro tears" in a condom. If they remain intact they're good.
MtD
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thanks matty. what is the danger of double bagging or wearing two condoms? is it really more unsafe to wear two condoms than one? i read in a post on this forum that there is a danger to wearing two and that one should never double bag. is there really truth in this?
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thanks matty. what is the danger of double bagging or wearing two condoms? is it really more unsafe to wear two condoms than one? i read in a post on this forum that there is a danger to wearing two and that one should never double bag. is there really truth in this?
NEVER DOUBLE BAG.
The effect of latex rubbing against latex is to rupture both condoms. One in date, quailty brand latex condom used with water based lube is more than sufficient.
MtD
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thanks matty. what is the danger of double bagging or wearing two condoms? is it really more unsafe to wear two condoms than one? i read in a post on this forum that there is a danger to wearing two and that one should never double bag. is there really truth in this?
I wouldn't think it would be a good idea to wear two condoms as the friction would probably increase the chances that one or both would fail --- Also, I used to teach safer sex classes and one of the things I used to point out is that if you have to put two condoms on to have sex with someone then what does that say about your thoughts regarding what you might "catch" from the person.... wearing two condoms, in addition to not being effective, also says to me that you think the person you are sleeping with (or that you yourself) have something that is sexually transmittable.... just my thoughts on the matter.
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Phil, although your good intentions are appreciated in responding here, a rule of this site is that only those who are authorized to do so may respond to questions in this section.
Thanks for your cooperation.