Author Topic: Oral sex ... so much worried . help me plse (Read 19773 times)

oralworry · « **on:** September 05, 2009, 10:18:26 am »

Hi Ann & Andy

I have seen some threads about my concern in this website. Even though I would like to describe my worries and get response from Andy or Ann.
I had oral sex with 3 girls on 06th of August. I got a blow job and massage from 1st girl. The 2nd and 3rd girls did massage and I fingered both (With a small skin peeled cut, I have noticed only 4 days after the incident when it become cured like a black ball pen dot). But on 07th I got cold, throat pain, body pain and felt fatigue. On the same day I consulted a doctor and he gave me some tablets , antibiotics and cough syrup as well. It took almost 20 days to be normal. (I do remember that I had little cold on 05th itself, dance at DJ, cold juices and one ice cream on 06th may cause of my illness I think)
It is almost 30 days now post to my exposure. At present I feel good and no illness, other than lot of stress , worries and back pain on my left hand blade.
I am married and my kid is almost 7 months now. I afraid any intercourse (Vaginal or Oral) with my wife, to be infect them. My wife used to breast feed my son and if she infected by me, it will pass to my son through breast milk. I really worried and one of my mistake is going to ruin my life completely. After the incident I don’t had any intercourse (Oral or Vaginal) with my wife at this moment. I cannot express my feelings here in words. Be frank I am crying like anything all the time. Not worried because of my death, but because of my family. I never did any vaginal intercourse with any lady other than my wife. I am really afraid my dear friends.
I have contacted one doctor and he told me the chances are less comparing to vaginal sex. He never says “no chance”. So that I am worried and thinking about the possibility of infection. He ask me to do a test on 10th sep(34 days post to my exposure).I don’t know what to do ? Please help me by your advice on my concerns. I really wish andy or ann to response on my below concerns.

1. How much is the chance to infect virus on the mentioned activities (Blow job and fingering (with a small cut ))
2. If I breast feed by my wife, Does it affect my kid. Possibility of infection through breast sucking by an hiv+ve husband on his hiv –ve wife? (If she got any cuts on nipple)
3. Do I need to go for a blood test?
4. A test in 34 days will rectify , if there is any issue?
5. If the result on 34 days come –ve , do I need to go for a retest on 13 weeks time?

Thanks in advance for your kind response which will get some peace of mind.

RapidRod · « **Reply #1 on:** September 05, 2009, 11:35:37 am »

At no time were you at risk of contracting HIV in the situations you've provided.

oralworry · « **Reply #2 on:** September 05, 2009, 11:47:41 am »

Hi Teak,

Thanks for your kind response.
What do say? Do i need to go for a blood test?
Also please note i have some (4) small rashes on my upper arm. Could u please let me know the hiv cause rashes looks like.

Lokking forward to hear from you soon.

RapidRod · « **Reply #3 on:** September 05, 2009, 11:57:08 am »

Reread the reply you were already given. YOU DID NOT HAVE A RISK.

oralworry · « **Reply #4 on:** September 05, 2009, 12:15:25 pm »

Rapid , again thanks.

Are you sure that i will not be infected on the mentioned activities (Blow job with out a condom and fingering 2 different ladies with a small cut)
Can i have unprotected sex with my wife?
I promise that i never had vaginal sex with anybody other than my wife.

It would be more good if i am getting response from andy or ann.

I am really worried, this is my first time experience in my life.
Please be kind of me ... Your detailed response will give me peace of mind.

Thanks for your helps.

Ann · « **Reply #5 on:** September 05, 2009, 12:21:49 pm »

Oral,

You are worrying for no good reason. Sexually speaking, the only true risks for hiv infection are unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse.

Getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection. Not one person has ever been infected this way and you won't be the first.

Fingering, with or without cuts, is also not a risk for hiv infection. Again, not one person has ever been infected this way and you won't be the first.

You do not need testing.

You can have all the sex with your wife you want.

I suggest that if having sexual relations outside your marriage causes you this much anxiety, don't do it. Simple.

Ann

oralworry · « **Reply #6 on:** September 05, 2009, 12:48:19 pm »

Dear Ann,

Thanks for your kind response.I feel bit ok after reading your response. You are all experienced and have practical knowledge (Handling so many cases regard HIV).
As you said, you r right "having outside sexual relation make me feel bad and worried. Also i a worried about my family (Wife and kid).
Be frank, this is my first experience in my life. On the same day i performed oral sex with 3 different girls.
as i mentioned 1st one gave me unprotected blow job, 2nd and 3rd i fingered them for a while. Thats all happend.
I have decided that this will my first and last sex encounters in my life.

Also i have contacted one doctor ad he told me the chances are less, he never told "no chance".
So that i was worried a lot. He suggest me to have a blood test. I dont know he is suggesting the test to make money? Any way i have decided to get tested on Sep 10th (Which will i complete 34 days post to exposure). I hope it will also give me more peace of mind.

1. If one HIV + VE man suck an HIV -ve lady's breasts (She has some fresh cuts on her nipple or breast)

Does it cause infection from a man to that lady?

RapidRod · « **Reply #7 on:** September 05, 2009, 12:49:54 pm »

No...

Ann · « **Reply #8 on:** September 05, 2009, 12:56:25 pm »

Oral,

Sucking anything on anyone's body is not a risk for hiv infection. It doesn't matter if there are cuts. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

I don't just speak from experience in this forum, but I also speak from experience in life. I was with an hiv negative man for over eight years, during which time I was hiv positive. The only precaution we took was to use condoms for intercourse. He remains hiv negative to this day.

You don't need to test but if you do, don't be surprised by your negative result.

Ann

oralworry · « **Reply #9 on:** September 05, 2009, 01:06:24 pm »

Teak and Ann

Million thanks for your quick response.
I do expect the same result Ann, If not ........................ I may commit .................
Because i never did vaginal intercourse with any ladies other than my wife.............
By the grace of god, i am very much healthy (80 Kg) and almost 6 feet height. I used to work out in gym. I really care my body like anything. With out a healthy body, i cant imagine .

Also one more concern, 1.
1. as i mentioned i will have a test on 34th day post to my exposure. The doctor told me the result will take 2 to 3 days ? Do u have any idea of this much delay for the result?
2. If the result come as -ve , do you suggest me to go for a 13 weeks test to confirm the result?

Sorry if i am repeating any question. I am much worried.

Thanks for ur precious time.

Ann · « **Reply #10 on:** September 05, 2009, 01:20:19 pm »

Oral,

Any hiv antibody test that is not a rapid test will take anywhere from 24 hours to two weeks for the results to come back. If you want further details, ask the doctor who performed the test.

WHEN your negative result comes back, you will not need further testing as you DID NOT HAVE A RISK.

Ann

oralworry · « **Reply #11 on:** September 05, 2009, 01:25:21 pm »

Ann thanks again.

2 weeks, i will die by the time (by thinking of it). Thank god, my doctor told only 3 days.
I will keep you posted ... After getting the result.

Thanks again for your precious time.

Continue this wonderful,amazing job(infact help).

Regards

oralworry · « **Reply #12 on:** September 05, 2009, 01:33:28 pm »

Ann,

One more concern.

Have u ever met (in this forum or outside) anybody who is infected hiv through the mentioned activities (Unprotected blowjob and Fingering with skin peeled cuts). Just to make more sure of my -ve result.

Thanks to understand me and my situation.

Ann · « **Reply #13 on:** September 05, 2009, 01:52:04 pm »

Oral,

Have you bothered to read a single thing I've written?

Quote from: Ann on September 05, 2009, 12:21:49 pm

Getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection. Not one person has ever been infected this way and you won't be the first.

Fingering, with or without cuts, is also not a risk for hiv infection. Again, not one person has ever been infected this way and you won't be the first.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann

oralworry · « **Reply #14 on:** September 05, 2009, 01:57:13 pm »

Ann,

Sorry, if i violate the rule of ur forum.
I never wish to banned from this site. Because it is giving so much knowledge abt HIV.
Sorry once again, i will update you as soon as i received my result.

Ann · « **Reply #15 on:** September 05, 2009, 01:58:44 pm »

Oral,

I've removed your PM privileges. I asked you twice to stop PMing me, but you wouldn't listen.

You haven't had a risk. End of story. If you insist on continuing to go on about this no risk situation, you'll be given that time out you have been warned about.

Ann

Andy Velez · « **Reply #16 on:** September 05, 2009, 04:28:04 pm »

I am responding only because you PM'd me. Ann has already responded to you about that and well and thoroughly covered your absolutely non-risk incident.

This is all about your anxiety and has nothing to do with any real risk based in HIV science. Because there was no risk. Period.

Get on with your life.

oralworry · « **Reply #17 on:** September 05, 2009, 11:33:39 pm »

Dear Andy,

I thank you for your kind response.
As all you mentioned, i dont even go for a blood test?
When i read your comments, i really feel good. After that, my mind is started to play with me .. thinking about some possible exposure. Adding "if" for all my said exposure.

I am trying myself to think that i am HIV -VE.

Once again thanks for your precious time.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #18 on:** September 06, 2009, 08:05:33 am »

That's right. no testing is needed.

Get on with your life. You're just at the edge of getting a Time Out here.

oralworry · « **Reply #19 on:** September 06, 2009, 09:39:48 am »

Dear Ann and Andy,

Can i ask a general doubts on a blood test?
1. If a blood test is doing on 34th day post to exposure, does the result will be conclusive?

I will not ask any more concern . Please do not banned me from this site. Just to sake of my knowledge.

Please , its my kind request.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #20 on:** September 06, 2009, 10:00:09 am »

Clearly answering "just one more question" doesn't seem to help you to put an end to your unwarranted fears.

You had no risk. No testing is necessary.

I'm going to give you the Time Out that Ann warned you about for 28 days. Don't make the mistake of trying to get around it by creating a new name. Doing that would get you permanently banned from the site.

Get on with your life and stop all this unnecessary drama about HIV.

oralworry · « **Reply #21 on:** October 15, 2009, 07:23:19 pm »

Hi All,

I am back after the 28 days time out.
I had some HIV test 34 days post to my exposure (1. HIV -1-RNA QUANTIFICATION BY REAL TIME (PCR) 2. HIV -P24 ANTIGEN DETECTION,SERUM BY ELFA 3. RETROVIRAL ANTIBODIES).
It was negative/non reactive. This is only to update you. I thank you Ann,Andy & Rapid rod for your kind support.

Thanks again

Oral

oralworry · « **Reply #22 on:** October 30, 2009, 01:34:10 am »

Sorry to coming back ...

I have still worried about some symptoms ..
3 days back started night sweats and i have pain under left ear (might be a swallen lymph node) also full body pain since last 1 month. At present i am almost 3 months post to my exposure. these symptoms worried me a lot. it affects my routine life. Any advise please . Do i need to go for a blood test again?
I had a 34 days test non reactive/-ve.

Help me plse

Andy Velez · « **Reply #23 on:** October 30, 2009, 08:22:35 am »

If you continue to return here about that same non-risk event you will very quickly find yourself getting another Time Out.

You have no basis in science to worry, but since you're at 3 months go and get tested again so you can collect the inevitable negative result. Perhaps doing that will help you to let go of this unwarranted concern you have about your HIV status.

As for your "symptoms," discuss those with your doctor if they persist.

This is not an HIV situation. Period.

oralworry · « **Reply #24 on:** November 03, 2009, 12:56:26 pm »

Thank you very much Andy.
What kind of test i have to done at 3 months period to ease my mind ?
Is it Elisa?

Ann · « **Reply #25 on:** November 04, 2009, 08:59:11 am »

Oral,

You don't need to test, but if you do test, any hiv antibody test will do, whether it is a rapid oral swab, a rapid pin-prick blood test, or a blood draw where they draw your blood into a vial. All these tests are bascially ELISAs. If you want to know more about the tests, read the Testing Lesson linked to in the Welcome Thread - which you should have read by now.

As Andy mentioned, keep posting about this NO RISK incident and you'll be given a time out. Please consider yourself warned!

Ann

oralworry · « **Reply #26 on:** November 29, 2009, 09:30:17 pm »

hi ,i have a general doubt on condom. if we use 2 condom at same time,how do we know if it breaks?how it looks like?

RapidRod · « **Reply #27 on:** November 29, 2009, 09:34:09 pm »

Your questions will not be answered until you return to your original thread.

oralworry · « **Reply #28 on:** November 29, 2009, 09:41:05 pm »

i am using my cell phone to browse internet,hence i could not find my old thread.can u plse help me to merge it?plse

Andy Velez · « **Reply #29 on:** November 30, 2009, 09:09:55 am »

I've merged your threads. Please follow our rule and keep all of your entries in this same thread.

Doubling condoms is never a good idea. Instead of extra safety it actually causes breakage. If the condom breaks it's very apparent as the whole thing goes and ends up looking like a hoop on your penis with a lot of fringe. It's not subtle when it happens.

Use a single condom at a time for vaginal and anal intercourse and you will be well protected.

oralworry · « **Reply #30 on:** December 01, 2009, 03:08:00 am »

Hi All..........

I got a call from the lab (which i gave my blood sample for an elisa test), they have something suspecious and going to rest with a new kit. The result will be ready by today evening ... I think i gonna loose my life .......... I am infected from oral sex (2 times finguring and 1 time blow job) . I need some mental support .. how can i inform my family ... how do they react? anybody from India, please contact me on "aditya.krishna2000@gmail.com".

I really want to finish up my life ...........

RapidRod · « **Reply #31 on:** December 01, 2009, 03:20:47 am »

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

oralworry · « **Reply #32 on:** December 01, 2009, 03:32:55 am »

Hi Rapid,

I m not posting excessively ... I got a call from the lab and they were telling "some problem on my result and they will recheck and ask me to contact them today evening . It is almost 2pm in india, but i really affraid to call them to know my final result ..

oralworry · « **Reply #33 on:** December 01, 2009, 03:33:44 am »

It is almost 4 months now post to my exposure ..

RapidRod · « **Reply #34 on:** December 01, 2009, 03:39:34 am »

You didn't have an exposure "no risk situation."

Ann · « **Reply #35 on:** December 01, 2009, 07:47:54 am »

Oral,

I'm giving you that second time out you've been warned about. You did not have a risk for hiv infection. You do not need further testing. You ARE hiv negative. It's time you got on with your life.

Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann

oralworry · « **Reply #36 on:** January 28, 2010, 02:30:31 am »

Dear All,

I am back after my second time out. I have some bad news for you.
My test at 4 months was +ve Elisa and Indeterminate Westernblot.
My doctor told me that the reason for my +ve test may cause of any problem (sick)in my stomach.
I know my exposure is law risk or no risk, then how come my test a +ve elisa and indeterminate westernblot.
I dont know what to say ... But anybody please advice me the chances of testing -ve on my further tests.
Any chance me to test -ve on my further tests?

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #37 on:** January 28, 2010, 03:04:48 am »

Oral,

Positive ELISA + Indeterminate Western Blot (WB) == HIV negative.

Your doctor is quite correct. There several non-HIV related situations which can lead to the results you've received. I encourage you to work with your doctor to resolve this situation.

That said, based on the results you report here you are NOT HIV positive.

MtD

oralworry · « **Reply #38 on:** January 28, 2010, 03:25:38 am »

Matty,

My doctor told me the same that i am not positive,but he told there are still something yet toclear and also he suggest me to have a test after 1 or 2 month. If the test again showing +ve elisa and indeterminate western blot , i will be -ve.
But i am afraid that the test may come as +ve elisa and +ve western blot.

As you know my test was at 4 months, so how much is the chance test -ve on my further test after 1 month or 2 monts?

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #39 on:** January 28, 2010, 03:30:46 am »

Well there you have it. Your doctor has confirmed that you are not HIV positive.

Of course your doctor has told you test again. The standard protocols regarding positive ELISA and indeterminate WB require this.

When we consider your risk factors we find that there was no chance of your being infected. This combined with your current test results suggests that there other NON HIV issues interfering with your test results.

Your problems are, in my opinion, beyond the scope of this forum. Please work with your medical practitioner to resolve these things.

MtD

Andy Velez · « **Reply #40 on:** January 28, 2010, 08:19:07 am »

Just to support what Matty has said to you, you don't have an HIV problem. You have an HIV worry problem which is quite different and that evaluation is supported by your history here and your having earned two Time Outs.

The issue isn't about your re-testing since from our point of view your getting a negative result ultimately is a certainty.

No, it's about your repeatedly worrying about HIV when you weren't at risk. We can't help you with problem in this setting. You need to talk with a professional to deal with that.

Good luck with getting your problem addressed in the proper setting.

oralworry · « **Reply #41 on:** January 29, 2010, 12:26:05 am »

Hi Andy,

Thank you very much for your comments.
You are right; I have HIV worry, then how come my test + ve Elisa and Indeterminate Western blot?
It would be grateful, if you could advice me the chances of testing –ve on my further tests.
My test was at 4 months after my last exposure…
Since I am working in a gulf country, I will lose my job if I am hiv +ve.
I don’t know what to do ……………………………………………..

Ann · « **Reply #42 on:** January 29, 2010, 04:59:06 am »

oral,

False positive results like yours can be caused by things like an underlying and undiagnosed autoimmune condition. They can also sometimes be caused by vaccines. You need to speak to a doctor to find out what is causing your false positives. As your doctor told you YOU DO NOT HAVE HIV. No big surprise there as you didn't have a risk.

If you insist on using this forum in place of seeing a doctor, you will be permanently banned as you have already been given two time outs.

Ann

oralworry · « **Reply #43 on:** February 11, 2010, 02:01:56 am »

Hai All,

Most probably i will have a re test by next week.
What kind of test i have to perform? Is it same Elisa and Western blot ?
Also how much is the possibility of false positive in Rapid HIV test?

Andy Velez · « **Reply #44 on:** February 11, 2010, 10:41:15 am »

Re-read the many responses you have already received about what kind of test to be using.

You need to be aware that you are on the verge of receiving a permanent ban from this site for excessively posting about a non-risk situation. Consider yourself warned!

oralworry · « **Reply #45 on:** February 19, 2010, 10:13:08 am »

Dear Andy/Ann,

I thank you million times for your kind support you have extended to me during these days.
I have a happy news as well as a bad news ..
I am really in a trouble now .. I will explain it here ..

I know my exposure was no risky or law risk , i really agree with you, but as per the instruction of my infectious diseases doctor, i had a test at 4 months (western blot), one band (p66) was present and the result came back indeterminate.

Then he told me to re test after 2 months.

This is the good news - With out the knowledge of my doctor I went one multi speciality hospital (After 7 months of exposure)and asked them to perform ELISA RAPID and ELISA STANDARD tests, both came back negative. I was so happy when i receive the email from them.

Now the problem begin ... After getting the results i forward my result to my doctor and told about the story.But instead of being happy he was shouting at me that "how do u know the test you have to do" "how can u decide the which are suitable for you" etc ... I told him that i am aware that ELISA is a standard test for rectify HIV antibodies, also i have completed 7 months, so that i need a relief from this pain ..

But he made me more crazy ..... He told that , since your western blot at 4 months result is indeterminate, negative ELISA is not enough and you have to go for westernblot and it should be come back as negative. or else in future there is a possibility of being positive on ELISA.

I am shocked and all you and the sitesare saying that 3 months negative elisa rapid or elisa standard
is enough to confirm the status ... But my doctor is saying different thngs ..

Then he ask me to perform Westernblot,p24 antigen, viral load qualitative and quantitative ...

I dont know what to do .... This doctor is working in a goverment hospital as a department head, I dont know why he says like this, may be for commission from the lab?? I really dont know ...

This is my problems now ...

1. I had 4 months western blot indeterminate (p66) band, but 7 months elisa negative for rapid and standard test. do u want me to wait for the western blot results in order to make sure my status? (This is the doctors opinion, so that i am asking here).
2. My doctor told there are many types of elisa testing (method), also he told , since i am tested western blot indeterminate, if i test any other hospital (different metod of elisa (if it is there) it may come as positive). Do u have any idea about different method of elisa testing?
3. Do u think he is cheating me for oly getting money ?

Please help me ... Last but not least .. plse dont banned me from this site .. because of this doctor , i am really worried .. i have no options ..

oralworry · « **Reply #46 on:** February 19, 2010, 10:19:24 am »

sorry i forget to add one thing ...

As part of regular medical check up in my company (office) i have to undergo for a complete medical check up by this month including HIV tests (elisa), so that i am worried this much. As per my doctors opinion if my company hospital is using some other method of ELISA, it may come as positive !!!!! since i am working in a gulf country, i may have to leave the country . I will loose my job ... This is my life issue ...

Please help me ....

Ann · « **Reply #47 on:** February 19, 2010, 10:32:08 am »

Oral,

Regardless of what your doctor says, you do NOT have hiv and you do NOT need further testing.

A Western Blot result with one reactive band is considered a NEGATIVE result.

You do NOT need a further antibody test and you certainly do NOT need p24 antigen testing or PCR testing.

YES, it sounds like this doctor just wants your money. Get a new doctor pronto before this guy ends up taking your entire life savings.

You won't lose your job because you do NOT have hiv. You are hiv negative.

Don't forget you are still in danger of being permanently banned form this site. You do NOT have hiv and you do NOT need further testing!

Ann

oralworry · « **Reply #48 on:** February 19, 2010, 10:45:14 am »

Ann,

Thanks for your kind response.

It is unbelievable !!! but i think it true that the doctor is cheating me ... He is working in a medical college as a dept head ...

One more clarification on ur response .. my western blot not only one band ,There were 2 bands (one is control band and 2nd one is P66) ..

Once again thanks ... Let me go to my normal life ... this is too late .. last 7 months ... i had so much of pain ...

Ann · « **Reply #49 on:** February 19, 2010, 10:59:32 am »

oral,

Your Western Blot is still NEGATIVE.

YOU DO NOT HAVE HIV.

Ann

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Author Topic: Oral sex ... so much worried . help me plse (Read 19773 times)