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Author Topic: Seeking advise  (Read 8863 times)

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Offline julien

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Seeking advise
« on: February 22, 2009, 07:39:22 am »
Hi,
sk
Thank you for this forum. Sorry for my english, I am not a native speeker.
13 days ago, I went to a bar where I meet a girl. During that night, I had very deep mouth kessing with her that lasted for more than an hour. I had a small mouth ulser during that period. Since yesterday, I have a low garde fever (37.8 - 38.5), Muscle pain and a caugh. Do you thing that this flu like syndrom could have any relation with what happened that night in the bar. Could deep mouth kessing put person at risk ?. I am so confused as I asked the pharmacy in my small town and he said that there is no flu going arround.   

Thank you for you support.

Offline Ann

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2009, 08:12:12 am »
Julien,

Kissing is absolutely NOT a risk for hiv infection. Not one person has ever been infected through kissing and you won't be the first. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

Just because the pharmacist isn't aware of any cases of flu in your area doesn't mean that there isn't flu around - or it could be just a common head cold. Whatever is going on with you certainly is NOT hiv.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER A KISS, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline julien

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2009, 08:25:43 am »
Thank you very much Ann,

What about the small ulceration I had in my mouth during that period. Does the ulceration change the risk ?

Thak you again

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2009, 08:31:52 am »
Julien,

No, the ulcer doesn't change the risk. Why would it when saliva is NOT infectious?

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline julien

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2009, 08:33:46 am »
Thank you very much ann. Thanks to all of you.

Julien

Offline julien

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2009, 10:38:30 am »
Hi Ann,

Sorry again. I read Dr. Frascino answer to the same question in the body website and his answer was that there is low to insignificant risk for deep kissing but the risk is exist if there is any ulcer in the mouth.

Would you advise please,

julien

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2009, 10:51:33 am »
Insignificant risk is his way of saying no risk. You are not going to contract HIV from kissing. PERIOD.. End of discussion. Take the time to read the lessons on transmission. You can find the link in the "Welcome" thread. 

Offline julien

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #7 on: February 22, 2009, 11:10:59 am »
what about the risk with the mouth ulcer ?

Thank you

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #8 on: February 22, 2009, 11:43:35 am »
Mouth ulcers or no mouth ulcers, still no risk.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #9 on: February 22, 2009, 01:20:00 pm »
Read this slowly and over again if you need to: Kissing of any kind including with bleeding, mouth ulcers and anything else you throw into the mix is not a risk for HIV transmission. No risk whatsoever.

You need to give up this unfounded worry and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline julien

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #10 on: February 22, 2009, 02:32:01 pm »
I hope you are right. I would not bother you again.
Thank you very much for your advises and for your time.

Regards,


Julien

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #11 on: February 22, 2009, 02:48:09 pm »
We're very careful here about our replies.

You are worrying needlessly.
Andy Velez

Offline julien

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Dr Renslow answer
« Reply #12 on: July 25, 2009, 09:56:56 am »
Hi,

I read Dr Renslow answer on the link bellow :
http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/Resistance/Current/Q202868.html

I do not understand, I was always said that condoms are 100% safe, and know I read that they are 98% safe and the ansxer come from an expert. I am scared, what about the 2% risk ?

Please some explanation is needed


Julien

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Dr Renslow answer
« Reply #13 on: July 25, 2009, 12:00:57 pm »
Latex condoms, when used consistently and correctly, are highly effective in
preventing transmission of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. In addition, correct
and consistent use of latex condoms can reduce the risk of other sexually
transmitted diseases (STDs), including discharge and genital ulcer diseases.
While the effect of condoms in preventing human papilloma virus (HPV) infection
is unknown, condom use has been associated with a lower rate of cervical
cancer, an HPV-associated disease. Laboratory studies have demonstrated that latex condoms provide an essentially impermeable barrier to particles the size of STD pathogens.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #14 on: July 25, 2009, 01:45:26 pm »
Julien,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.



Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

If you read Renslow's answer carefully, you'll see where he says "For condoms to work properly, they have to be used properly, throughout the sex act (not just at climax), and without oil-based lubricants." He's saying that the small failure rate is due to incorrect use. If you'd read through the condom and lube links in my signature line when I asked you to in February, you'd know how to use them correctly. Re-read the links if you've forgotten - and learn the information.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline julien

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #15 on: July 25, 2009, 02:25:36 pm »
Thank you all. What I understand now is that there is no zero risk in theory but with the experience, one would say that the risk is zero because it did never happen. Is that right ?

Julien

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #16 on: July 25, 2009, 02:29:58 pm »
Julien,

As long as the condom is used from start to finish during anal or vaginal intercourse and the condom does not break, you will not become infected with hiv. When a condom breaks, it's obvious.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline julien

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  • Posts: 16
Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #17 on: July 25, 2009, 02:33:25 pm »
thanks Ann and all the others for your time and patience with all of us worried guys.

Regrads,

Julien

Offline julien

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Re: In trouble again
« Reply #18 on: July 31, 2009, 06:46:10 pm »
Dear Ann and Andy,

I am in trouble again. I need some help and advise.

On The June 15th, I meet a girl with whom I was in love at the university 20 years ago. She is divorced and she has one child. We went for a drink, then for a dinner and then to a hotel.

We did not have condoms on us, so we spent the night together, nude, we did not have sex (mean vaginal intercourse) but we did have a night of kissing (very deep French kissing).

13 days after this event, I had a very sore throat that lasted 3 days with:
24 hours of low fever (37.8 – 38 °C),
36 hours with two very painful nodules on my neck (I never had a lymph node as painful as that and it was solid as a rock).
24 hours after the sore throat, I had positional dizziness that lasted for 2 weeks.

The day I has the sore throat, I went to see a doctor who told me that I had pharyngitis with enlarged tonsils. I went for a WBC blood analyses that showed an increase in Lymphocytes and an increase in neutrophiles with an overall increase in leukocytes. CRP, CPK and lever enzymes were in normal ranges.

4 days after this event, I started having a pain on my left side; I went to see a doctor who said after a CT scan that I had a swollen spleen due to my viral infection.

Otherwise I am OK, feeling very well; I would say normal, no fatigue, nothing except the sore throat discomfort and the positional dizziness.

I know that I did not take any risk except French kissing which is not a risk but I tried to find a mono virus with an incubation period of two weeks and I did not find any except HIV. This makes me very nervous. I want to have your opinions please, I am really scared.

Thanks,

Julien

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #19 on: July 31, 2009, 07:04:53 pm »
Julien, you are worrying needlessly as far as HIV is concerned. You didn't do anything which would have put you at risk for the virus. Very wise of the two of you to have held off having intercourse since you didn't have condoms. Well done!

Whatever has been causing your symptoms has nothing to do with HIV. If your symptoms persist then discuss them further with your doctor. This is NOT an HIV situation.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline julien

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #20 on: August 01, 2009, 05:23:13 am »
Thanks andy,

I am really worrying because I never had something like that in my life. Do you know of any virus that could have theses symptoms with an incubation period ef less  than 2 weeks ?.


Thanks,

Julien

Offline Ann

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #21 on: August 01, 2009, 06:27:02 am »
Julien,

There are plenty of viruses that can cause similar symptoms. Whatever virus is causing yours, it is not hiv. You did not have a risk for hiv infection. Kissing is not a risk.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline julien

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #22 on: August 01, 2009, 08:20:43 am »
Thanks all,

I did not mean to upset anyone and especialy you and andy. Sorry again.

Julien

Offline julien

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What is m'y risk ?
« Reply #23 on: September 19, 2011, 02:38:49 pm »
Hi all,

1week ago, i had 15 to 20 min french kissing with a call girl. No sex. I have a very deep wound on the back of my lip inside my month. The wound was really deep and was hurting me. As i read many Time in thés forum That it is not a transmission way for hic, i did not care. Now, 1week after the encounter, i am having a flu like syndrome with fever, muscle and joindre pain and a Sore throat. I am scared because I read on another forum That if the wound is deep, the hiv coule be transmitted.

I am a married personne and i do not watt to out anyone at risk.

What do you think is m'y risk. Could i move on or i need to test before having sex with my wife.

Regards,

Julien

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #24 on: September 19, 2011, 03:04:03 pm »
Julien, I have merged your latest thread with the previous one you had here. In the future please follow our rule and keep all entries in this same thread.

You've been coming here long enough to know that the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. That's it.

We're previously told you that kissing is not a risk. No risk no matter what details you throw in about a sore in your mouth or anything else. NO RISK! Period.

Whatever is causing  your symptoms has nothing to do with HIV. There is no need for HIV testing. If your symptoms persist you should discuss them with your doctor. This is not an HIV situation.
Andy Velez

Offline julien

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #25 on: September 19, 2011, 03:11:23 pm »
Hi Andy,

I know and this is why i hesitated before posting. But i was scared when i read on a french forum, a doctor saying That it depends how deep id the wound and mine was deep and infected.

Do you really think That i CAN have sex with my wife without any risk at all for her.

Tank you all


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #26 on: September 19, 2011, 03:43:31 pm »
I've never known of a single confirmed case of transmission through kissing, no matter how much of a wound or blood or whatever was involved. Not one. You are not going to make history by becoming the first.

I don't see any basis in HIV science for concern. If you continue to search around I am sure you will find someone who will confirm your worst fears...and all to no good purpose. I don't see any cause for concern about HIV and having sex with your wife.

You do need to remember that other STDs are much easier to acquire than HIV. So if you are having sex outside of your marriage you have to remember that and also always use condoms if you are having intercourse with other partners.
Andy Velez

Offline julien

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #27 on: September 19, 2011, 04:46:30 pm »
Thank you Andy.
For more confort, i will be happy to read the opinion of the other Moderators of this forum.

Thank you


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #28 on: September 19, 2011, 05:56:36 pm »
Never mind. You just need to get on with your life. All the opinions in the world aren't going to help you unless you are willing to take a breath, let go of this unwarranted fear and get on with your life.

HIV is not your problem. Often with a straying partner, the real problem is not about having had a true risk, but rather guilt over having strayed. You did what you did and you can't undo that. Stop the unnecessary drama and get on with your life.

We are not going to indulge you in an extended round of ifs about this latest experience. There was no risk for HIV. Period. If you continue to return repeatedly about it then I have to warn you that you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site. HIV is not your problem.
Andy Velez

Offline julien

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #29 on: September 19, 2011, 06:22:46 pm »
Thank you Andy.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Seeking advise
« Reply #30 on: September 19, 2011, 06:34:49 pm »
You're welcome. Get on with your life...
Andy Velez

 


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