New Poz MD

[Medstud]

I'm a 36 yo physician who tested poz on 3/19 with the Eliza, confirmed on 3/20 with the Western blot.

Quite devastating to me, as my monogamous boyfriend with whom I'd have been having bareback sex with for the past 1.5 years tested negative 2 weeks prior. I'm 90% top in this relationship.

A few days later, found out my CD4 count is down to 167, which is a criteria for AIDS. Health wise, I feel pretty good, working at the gym several times a week, good workouts.

I met with an HIV specialist today at Kaiser LA. He was as good a doctor as I could ask for. My partner was in the room with me and he was very open discussing sex with us, as well as discussing the benefits and size effects of the options he'd recommend to me. I opted for Truvada, Norvir and Reyataz combo because it doesn't matter if you eat on empty or full stomach, whereas Atripla required empty stomach consistently at a certain same time each day, which I could not do since my work schedule is always changing.

Great setup in their program: HIV social worker, HIV registered nurse who coordinates everything, and an HIV pharmacist. And best, an HIV research physician who sees patients. It means he's the most up to date on all the various studies and medications.

He said that the medication regimen may change after we get the HIV sensitivity genome back, which will take another 1-2 weeks.

My CD4 count is 167, viral load about 54,000.

Hell, I'm quite surprised I haven't come down with some serious infection. I've also been started on bactrim prophylaxis, and I got my pneumovax today as well.

Way scary for this otherwise healthy guy to know become a patient himself. I never thought this would happen to me. Over the past 2 weeks that I've knows, things have slowly been getting better. I'm no longer spontaneously tearful or vaguely suicidal. I've got a great boyfriend who has every intention of marrying me.

Maybe my life isn't over. Just maybe. This is tough.

[jampdx]

I'm so very sorry to hear this for you.  It must be a very strange feeling being a physician and find out you're positive.  Not that MD's are invincible, just I can imagine.

Your numbers are pretty darn low.  Did they give you your percentage?  Do you know what drugs they're going to start you on?

This forum is amazing for information, support, someone to listen. 

Please reach out for anything.

Sincerely,

Jacob

[mecch]

Yikes! Sorry to hear about the diagnosis.
It's reassuring to hear about your boyfriend, being negative and being there for you.
In the words of RuPaul, "Don't f*ck it up!" - meaning count your blessings that you have a lover open to the present and future with you, and please pay attention to that relationship and be kind and truthful and communicative.  Wish you all the best.

[dtwpuck]

I echo meech...   be glad for your support.  Even though you are a doctor, you will still experience everything any other human being experiences when faced with a serious diagnosis.

If you intellectualize your feelings, you probably know that you will postpone the inevitable.  Be sure you ask for help when you need it.

We're here to listen.    Welcome.

[J.R.E.]

Hello Doc,

Welcome !! Sorry you had to join us, but glad your hear. The support we get after diagnosis, can make all the difference, in living with HIV. I am glad you have this support. As of this coming July, I will be with my partner 29 years. Almost 24 of those years with myself being HIV positive. He is negative.

With the proper support you will get through this. I can only tell you, that if it wasn't for my partner, family and close friends, it would be a different story. We all need this one on one support.

As far as the pneumovax, it may or may not have any effect. It's hard to say, with low numbers. However I also had the pneumovax done when my numbers were low. Mine were a lot lower than yours. I probably don't have to tell you, but make sure to take the prophylaxis as prescribed, and don't miss doses. You will most likely be able to discontinue that, sooner than you think.


Hang in there--------Ray

[Medstud]

Thanks everyone for their words of support. I'm to have my labs repeated in about a month, and I'll post updated and tracking numbers from there. My incredible boyfriend and I are continuing to progress in our relationship, and about to take the domestic partnership step, which would undoubtedly be marriage if California allowed it.

As you guys have echoed, the emotional aspects are the toughest. My HIV doctor is very optimistic, but my biggest problem is that in my mid-30s, I have a chronic disease for the rest of my life, which may or may not be full length. My internist (different from my HIV doctor) feels I should get into some support groups for newly HIV, but not sure if this is for me.

Again, thanks for your words of support. And I'll keep you updated on how my regimen of Truvada, Norvir, and Reyataz works for me.

[adawg]

Just found out myself in October.  It is an adjustment.  It will get better and you will move on.  Hang in there and if you need to chat, don't be afraid to reach out.  I'm new here but this seems a good place to reach to others in the same situation.

[tag_man08]

its a different feeling....i'm also in the medical field.....being the patient...
i'm 37....almost 1.5years into my diagnosis....
so i can relate....
i never went to the support groups.....just not me really....
i did however....live on this website for months and months...
and thanks to so many people...i came out of my shell....
you will meet alot of new people here....with very positive words....
i'm happy you found the website...and remember we are here if you need someone to listen...
it can be a lonely world....so dont forget we are here for you....