Man, you look sick....

[Life]

I got that the first time today from a co-worker...  It sorta cought me off guard...  Lets see, why do I look sick..?

1.  Cuz I work in hell?
2.  Cuz I work 90 fucking hours a week?
3.  Cuz I take pills that fuck with me occasionally?
4.  Cuz I am hiv positive?

Jeezzz....   

Eric

[Iggy]

I got that the first time today from a co-worker...  It sorta cought me off guard...  Lets see, why do I look sick..?

1.  Cuz I work in hell?
2.  Cuz I work 90 fucking hours a week?
3.  Cuz I take pills that fuck with me occasionally?
4.  Cuz I am hiv positive?

Jeezzz....   

Eric

Uhm...the FIRST time? Wait till you come back rested from a weekend of doing nothing but relaxing and  and then having the whole office say, "Jesus - do you have the flu?!?"

That point aside - I commiserate.

[Life]

Iggy thanks for glimpse into the future... 

[Iggy]

Iggy thanks for glimpse into the future... 

Eric,


And to think I'm not even on meds yet! 

I don't mean to minimize and I apologize if I came across that way - just realize that the future I mention has a lot to do with just getting OLDER...and you are Blanche...you are getting older....than necessarily HIV.

[Blixer]

I think the 90 fucking hours a week at work probably has a significant impact.... 

I still think you are hot though   

[libvet]

Yeah...it's always a bit disconcerting to hear that, but often we look at the comment through an HIV positive outlook and you think "Gee...are they seeing something I am not?" or "Gee...does it show?".

But truth to tell....if you REALLY look sick (as in...on death's door or look like you had vacationed at Chernobyl), no one will say anything because they think there really might be something SERIOUSLY wrong with you and offend you or think they embarrass themselves if they find out they said that you look sick and hear through the grapevine that you have terminal cancer or something.

Funny how I was walking around with pneumonia weighing 110lbs for a week at work and not one person ever said "Man...you look like shit.  Are you okay?" but now I can feel on top of the world with the energy of 16 year old on speed weighing more than I have in 20 years and forget to use hair product that day and someone will say "Man, you look tired" or "Man, are you feeling ok? You look sick."

And then you think..."WTF?  Do I have 'AIDS PATIENT' tattooed to my forehead?"

I wouldn't worry too much about it unless you are getting it from nearly everyone.

[bocker3]

2.  Cuz I work 90 fucking hours a week?

Ummmmm... what have we all told you about this? No wonder you look like hell!   

Get some balance in your life sweetie.....  Why???  Read your own words!

4.  Cuz I am hiv positive?

Plus, you need time for you and your wonderful husband.

Said with just a little joshing and a whole lot of love!!

  

Mike

[Robert]

Eric.

I went to a wedding last month and saw people who hadn't seen me since I was sick with PCP 4 years ago.  Everyone, and I mean everyone, told me how great I looked.

I smiled and thanked them for the compliment but never once did I let on how shitty I felt.  It's the worst I felt in the last 4 years and I'm still not better today.

I see my Dr in 2 two weeks.  I know she'll say the same thing (You look mahvellous!) but her?  I'll tell her the truth.

robert

[Miss Philicia]

Keep in mind, HIV-negative people sometimes receive such comments for whatever reason.

When you KNOW that you look different from the meds, or an OI, then you can read a lot more into the comments.  Otherwise I'd be careful reading too much into it.

[xyahka]

Keep in mind, HIV-negative people sometimes receive such comments for whatever reason.

When you KNOW that you look different from the meds, or an OI, then you can read a lot more into the comments.  Otherwise I'd be careful reading too much into it.

I agree, sometimes people speak without thinking because they have nothing else to do. Plus working 90h does not really help.

Juan Carlos (who sometimes answer "oh really? i was about to ask you same thing... are you ill or something?")

[Life]

How about "I look tired"...  Sick just rubs me the wrong way... I was trying to write back 3 times to this message and had to respond to two different emergencies one with altitude sickness, the other dealing with an allergic reaction...  NOW THEY LOOK and are SICK!!  I don't like to be on the receiving end of the term SICK...  I never will...  

This virus makes me so angry at times... I know getting older has something to do with it.  I feel if I give an inch hiv is going to take it... Thats why I stay busy the way I do..  I eat right, exercise and I get 8 hours of sleep.   Play time, well thats a different story right now.   I will work on that Mike...   I am taking some days off this weekend, seeing the doctor, getting labs etc... I love my life... Not really, but I am working on trying to balance hiv and living...   I love what I do and I dont want this god forsaken bug to take all that I am and what I love to do...    

I think I just look tired today is all... I looked in the mirror...

Thanks for listening to me rant... I dont usually rant...

Eric

[PeteNYNJ]

Eric

You were probably just tired. You are a hottie.

Pete

[Life]

You were probably just tired. You are a hottie.

Pete, you ended my day on a nice note... Thank you!    sleepy time now...

[leatherman]

But truth to tell....if you REALLY look sick (as in...on death's door or look like you had vacationed at Chernobyl), no one will say anything because they think there really might be something SERIOUSLY wrong with you and offend you or think they embarrass themselves if they find out they said that you look sick and hear through the grapevine that you have terminal cancer or something.

That's the truth alright! I think they might be just a touch scared too. I was just bowled over by the way not one person, friend or family, made mention of how terrible my late partner was looking when he was terribly sick. I mean it was "denial city", the elephant in the room.

Funny how I was walking around with pneumonia weighing 110lbs for a week at work and not one person ever said "Man...you look like shit.  Are you okay?" but now I can feel on top of the world with the energy of 16 year old on speed weighing more than I have in 20 years and forget to use hair product that day and someone will say "Man, you look tired" or "Man, are you feeling ok? You look sick."

Even though I'm healthier than I've been in a decade, if my hair color has faded out the slightest, suddenly everyone is mentioning how tired and sick I look.  (hey! I started going gray at 18! Though I will admit that it must be un-nerving for people to see  so much white hair when the firey copper red fades out.  That's why I've been blonde lately, so it's not as drastic a change anymore)

And then you think..."WTF?  Do I have 'AIDS PATIENT' tattooed to my forehead?"

ROFL
Thanks, you whole post brought me a chuckle.

[puertorico2006]

I've been getting people ask me "whats wrong with you" I dont think i look sick but i bet being tired has a big effect on the way i look....i dont think it has to do with HIV so dont get paranoid  you look fine :-)

[dixieman]

Oh.... well if your working 90 hours it means theres little time for sleep... 78 hours to fit in your sleep schedule... or even private time... Stress will take you out before hiv will... I'm employed 40 hour a week but, I work less... but, I'm on the go from 5am til midnight m-f and off on weekends... you need to chill and slow down... working that many hours would make anyone look tired and sick...

[mjmel]

I have surmised that you are high strung and likely love working.......still, I will chime in to suggest that you could bring it down a notch or two......... that will do a body good. I mean, if it's feasible for a fella that works in hell.
 
Mike

[Andy Velez]

Laugh. And then tell the fool he's fired. 

[Moffie65]

2.  Cuz I work 90 fucking hours a week?

Eric

WHY???

Why do you give the corporation 50 hours that you could be spending with your sweetie?
Why do you think it won't make any difference to your health?
Is the money that important?
Do you possibly still think this life is a dress rehersal?

Please think long and hard about the decisions you are making about work!

Love you, or I wouldn't have bothered.
Tim.

[Miss Philicia]

90 hours a week is insane.  Really.

[David_CA]

A few people asked me what was wrong when I had PCP (pre-hospital).  A couple told me that I looked sick and asked if I was OK.  They were asking because 1) I looked like shit  2) it was obvious something was wrong (I had no energy)  3) they were concerned.  I didn't take offense at all.  Now, if somebody were to tell me I looked sick now, I might be offended!    

I'm not sure how much you're really working, but it sounds like it's too much.  Like many others have said, work's likely taking a toll on you.  Maybe drop one job and add one that's low stress if you need to.  If you're doing it for the income, I don't have a lot of suggestions.  If you're working that much for some other reasons, I'd say it's time for some reevaluation.  Take care.

David

[Dachshund]

Go ghetto on their ass.


Man, you look sick.

Word.

[redhotmuslbear]

My boss wishes that I would work 90 hours a week, but I have made it clear to him that there are many higher priorities in my life that letting him make bucks off of treating me like chattel.  Still, he's sensitive about my hivvies and knows I'm a non-progressor, so he'll often ask how I'm doing, particularly if I'm looking flushed or ghostly from rushing between meetings and such.

What's more annoying for me with other people is discussing my status with them and getting the reply "But you don't look sick!"  To other Queers I tend to be a bit indignant "Have you had your head up your ass the last 12 years?," inquiring to see if they missed the whole triple-cocktail revolution.  With non-Queers and unknowns I'll add on "Which would surprise you more, that I've had HIV since god was a child, or that I've had brain surgery 24 times and spent six months in a wheelchair?"  Quizzical looks and period of speechlessness follow.

Peace,
David

P.S.  When people have suggested that I look ill, including my ear-nose-throat doc who sees the worst twice a year, my canned reply is: "And have You looked in the mirror today?  You are SO wearing last season's colors!"

[Nico]

Eric sweetie.....
What have I told you in the past about those long hours.  Now don't make me get all mama on your ass!  Try and back off for a while and see how you feel.  By the way, it is called "sleep" in case you forgot the word.  Between you and Blixer, I feel like I have adopted my two sons - with pride!   

Hugs from mean 'ol mama!
Rog

[Life]

I feel better today.... The forums are not the only place I get my ass kicked on my working hours..  A little bit about our mountain town... No one can afford to live here!  80% of the work force has two jobs unless you are in management.  I was for 20 years but got out because being a manager sucked trying to find staff. 

I do better financially hourly and holding two entirely different jobs (Accounting / EMT) I love both places I work for and it really is not like "real-world" work... I do not live and have never worked in the real world.  I don't know if I would really fit in down in a city..   Anyway,  we have come into off-season and I am reducing my hours to 60...  I just finished the schedule... 

Tim, it does have alot to do about paying down a mortgage.   If I can get my second paid off (January 2008) things will be easier.   For me to go to one job?  Well, I would have to get back into management..  I do not think I really want that life again...  It was high stress, phone calls at inappropriate times and I have no desire to see that shit again...   At least not now...

Everyone, please stay as healthy as you can and please never look or get "SICK"..    Thanks for your concern, I am listening and I hear you...  One more day,  then 4 days off!!  Denver, dancing, museum and six flags...

Eric

[allopathicholistic]

just snap your head around and shoot them a look of death and say "AND YOUR POINT IS?!?"

comments like that are meant to antagonize

you could also say "Unless you're a doctor or you have something constructive to say to me, I have zero desire to speak to you. Do I make myself clear??"

[allopathicholistic]

or you could just say "Well, that's your opinion and it means nothing to me. I looked in the mirror today and I think I look faboo"

[Andy Velez]

Listen to me, man!

Laugh, tell the fool he's fired and oh yah, that his breath would knock a crow dead off a barn at 50 feet.

[Life]

Alex, I will try that out next time that topic comes up...  I wont be caught off guard again... And I will put up a mirror in the office...

Andy, I could always whip out the Breathalyzer or the elicit drug test equipment and say "come to my office."   Something like that???    "On my worst day, I could out perform your ass"...  hmmmmm... 

[Dragonette]

Hi Life,

I can really identify as something similar happened to me very recently... but then again if I worked 90 hour weeks, I would look like a corpse, so if you are just looking worn out and tired, that means that under normal circumstances you would look much better.

[Florida69]

I think the 90 fucking hours a week at work probably has a significant impact.... 

I still think you are hot though   

I am going to agree, you are hot.  D

[jack]

had a person I hadnt seen in a couple of years ask "what the fuck happened to your face". I would have told him to go fuck himself,but he is rumored to be a hitman and is always armed,so I just laughed it off. You dont fuck with hitmen.
had another person asked if I was deformed because of my fat neck
A good friend told me I looked like I had aids. We both laughed. hahaha.
 I never let anyone take my picture and I try not to look in the mirror.

[sweetasmeli]

WHY???

Why do you give the corporation 50 hours that you could be spending with your sweetie?
Why do you think it won't make any difference to your health?
Is the money that important?
Do you possibly still think this life is a dress rehersal?

Please think long and hard about the decisions you are making about work!

Ditto.

90 hours a week is insane.  Really.

And ditto.

Anyway,  we have come into off-season and I am reducing my hours to 60...  I just finished the schedule... 

Even 60 hours a week is insane to me.

Eric we reap what we sow, man. We reap what we sow.

As for 'looking sick'. If we're sick, we're sick. Surely a sick person has enough on his/her plate without fretting about how they look. If someone reacts to how you look, doesn't that say more about them than you?

To quote someone on here (I forget who): Sometimes the best reaction is no reaction.

Melia

[comino]

I HAVE TO AGREE  < YOU DEFINITELY LOOK LIKE A HOTTIE, tired or not> 
M

[ndrew]

Gee that comment sure was a trigger for you.  It is rude to say such things, however perhaps it was their way of showing concern.  I also hate the "you look tired" comment as well. 

Either way we have to think about the future, growing old and how we will come to terms with what will happen to us as our bodies change.

Blech!

Luv,
Drew