The new normal

[Handydan]

I had treatment for anal cancer 3 years ago and I continue to be cancer free today. However, my bowls have never completely healed, and I am starting to settle into the idea that this is the way it's going to be. I have little control when I need to go, so I need to be near a bathroom almost always. This happens between 4 and 8 times a day and occasionally I bleed some. Many days I take ibuprofen or naproxen sodium for the pain and it doesn't keep me from doing the things I want to do, in fact I need more to do. I used to complain to my oncologist about how long my healing is going to take, but now I realize that with the treatment I received, this is probably my new normal. We recently moved back to the states and I want to work, but I am not sure I'm ready for full time and and finding work that won't leave me away from a toilet too long is not easy. My normal line of work is carpenter, electrical, and plumbing etc. I'm very lucky to not have to work to get along because my hubby makes a good living and he doesn't want me work or do anything unless I will enjoy it.

I love being a house husband but it's not enough. I have a spotless house, and hobbies but they are not enough. Also, I'd like to contribute to our financial life more.

So, I'm looking for a small startup company idea that I would be able to run from home or even the bathroom. I need something that allows me to work with my hands and make or fix something, and that I can work at as much or as little as I am able. Any ideas or suggestions?

[weasel]

     Hi HandyDan   


           I hope you healing up , have you talked to your I.D. Doctor
     about taking something like Lopaprimide  < sp > 

       It's the only way I am able to have a somewhat normal  bowel .

      Also I have been taken off Reyataz  , Possibly a MED change could help ?

      On the job idea ,   I worked in Cabinet Shops in Las Vegas , NV. for years .
     I was always able to have my work bench  close to the Toilet room !

     It really made working easier knowing a 6 foot dash to the tiolet was available , my boss just thought  I spent too much time on some days , but it worked well for many years 

    I hope you find  a job you like  , I loved working construction . If I ever
   finish our new home I would love to try and get a cabinet job , shop work only , I do not care to deal with customers anymore 


                                                    Be well ,  Carl

[AlanBama]

It very well may be your new "normal", Dan.   My partner went through a similar experience in 2007.   I can tell you from experience, that even though it SEEMS like it never will, it will eventually get (some) better.

Normal?  Not really in our vocabulary much, as LTSers.  Normal is a setting on the dryer, that's about it!

Hope you can find some satisfying work, that brings in extra $$$ and allows you to be near the john.  I have one a few yards from my office, and I don't think I could work here part-time if I did not have it.

Best regards, Alan

[aztecan]

Hey Dan,

I don't know where you are living, but here we have a government office called the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation.

It doesn't seem carpentry, etc., would be a good fit for your "new normal."

So, maybe an agency like the DVR might be able to steer toward something you would enjoy and make the accommodations necessary for you.

It may be worth a shot.

HUGS,

Mark

[Handydan]

Thanks Alan and Mark. I hadn't thought about DVR. I'll have to look into it here in Illinois. Thanks for the suggestion!

Danny

[LongTimeSurvivor]

You didn't mention what the pain is from...the act or the clean up. For me it's both but found that using baby wipes, in my case Lansinoh, helps immensely when it comes to wiping. Using toilet paper was like using sand paper, the big grain type, but the baby wipe I use is soothing because it's alcohol free and moist (really almost wet) and doesn't irritate.

Hope this might help with the pain...should it match what I deal with on a daily basis.

[Handydan]

It's painful when going, wiping, and then aches after. I also have learned to use wipes instead of TP, but I go so frequently, as much as 8 times a day, that it just gets abused. And, not in a good way. I am now going through a good stretch the last week, not much pain or bleeding and not going so often. However, this seems to go in phases that are all over the map. It does seem to get better when I'm busy doing things I enjoy.

Overall, this has been my only major problem since seroconversion some 20 years back. All in all, I feel very lucky.

[deibster]

Hi Dan,
I really feel for you. The 1st time I had a rectal Pap smear it was abnormal. The 1st time they did a biopsy, I bled for 6 weeks. Now I get an exam twice a year and the doc cauterizes a surface area in my rectum, before it gets to the point of needing to be biopsied.

Do you have room for a small wood shop where you live? Have you considered making wooden key chains, or toys, cars, planes to sell at holiday time? I look on Etsy,
www.etsy.com for ideas of what sells. You can also sell your wares on that website.
Big hugs from Provincetown, Deiby

[Theyer]

HI,

Understand 100 % what you mean about having to adapt to a new normal after 2 bouts off Chemo for Hodgkin Lymphoma.

With your skill set you are well set to be a self employed Handy person , which I desperately need so contact me if you and Hubby plan to visit London.

Back to you -having spent many months on the Ward got to meet a couple of folk with Anal Cancer. this will not surprise you as you will know the rates are statistically higher for those off us with HIV. All off them had to deal with the problem off trying to heal some where that got a lot off use there by making healing very very slow.

All the medics are trained to "keep the Patient,s Hope high" and in my viewset up unrealistic expectations in that process , that has been my experience with the problems I have had through 2 lots off aggressive chemo.

However here we are discussing these problems and that's the bit I try to hang on to.

All the Best
mhtv

[guitargal]

the voc rehab sounds good. I did it in my state and I went back to school for a few terms..they were able to help with books and some of the course costs.

accepting the new normal is hard..I have not worked in 4 years and the depression gets to me.

Last year I made evergreen wreaths and sold some on ebay. The only problem with that is the mess and having to get them packed and mailed in crappy weather..also the hand work is painful…I may do a few again this year..but I now know my limits now.

I also tried to start a sewing business. alterations, teaching people how to use their machines and sewing machine repair/cleaning. only a few calls and gave up on that. Then I started to make bath mitts and back washers from terry cloth, and quilted pot holders.
no sales on line and none at the craft show where i rented a table..ugh..I did have lots of christmas gifts to give that year!

I became discouraged..

I too am trying to come up with some kind of side work.

good luck to you!