POZ Community Forums
Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits => Insurance, Benefits Programs & HIV => Topic started by: equaltime on September 19, 2010, 02:44:11 pm
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This thread on here may be an old subject but being pretty new to the forums on this site....it would help me to understand "how people think" to get some thoughts on what people think about living on disability. After working for 30 years and paying into the system..........Why is it people equate SSD with welfare.......SSI also is not the same as SSD, but alot of people don't know the difference....I worked for 11 years under the work rules to supplement my income and now that the economy is in the tank and the works not there.....Why I am I treated like a deadbeat by working women I contact?...... Why can't a working woman be thrilled that she has a job and be glad she has the opportunity to be with a man who's still productive and can help carry the burdens and especially those at home that get neglected because of priorities..... It seems people have become so shallow that even taking the time to find out who each other are, if one compatability factors out of place forget it........I guess the art of compromise is dead for to many and it truly in my opinion is an art form....... of love.
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I find that a lot of women like security, specifically financial security. Men don't seem to have the same sorts of hang ups. That's about all I can say without sounding like a misogynist.
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It's the same way in a LGBT relationship, so don't feel bad that's the way it is, most people that still work don't won't a person on SSDI, SSI. SSD, or anything else, not all people think that way tho, and no matter what others may think, you'll find someone, somewhere that will like you for who you are, and not how much you make a year. and if your living on disability or not ;)
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My two cents. I have no negative perceptions of someon who is on SSD or SSI. If someone qualifies for either, they deserve it. They qualify because they are unable to work. Scams are another matter but we shouldn't assume someone is a scammer. Just like we shouldnt assume all investment bankers are scamming the system.
Here in Switzerland there is less stigma about people on disability. The culture believes that everyone deserves food, shelter, medical care, etc.
Nobody on disability is living high on the hog. And I doubt disability puts a huge crimp in the budgets of developed countries.
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I have run into that myself just from friends who don't know that I am on disability. One girl automatically assumed that I was on welfare and was talking junk about me living off the system. Not to me, of course, to another friend of ours. You probably don't want to be involved with anyone that is as shallow as that anyway, they are just saving you time and energy.
Keep looking and keep your head up.
Good luck,
Snow
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I find that a lot of women like security, specifically financial security. Men don't seem to have the same sorts of hang ups.
Oh, you mean having the hang-up of wanting to have enough money for food, etc., plus a couple extras every now and then? I mean, equating "financial security" with a "hangup" doesn't make sense.
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I find that a lot of women like security, specifically financial security. Men don't seem to have the same sorts of hang ups. That's about all I can say without sounding like a misogynist.
Too late dear.
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I find that a lot of women like security, specifically financial security. Men don't seem to have the same sorts of hang ups. That's about all I can say without sounding like a misogynist.
No, this makes you sound like a fire breathing misogynist.
MtD
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I find that a lot of women like security, specifically financial security. Men don't seem to have the same sorts of hang ups. That's about all I can say without sounding like a misogynist.
I am going to defend you by saying that you typed this under the influence of some horrific septic fever. Oy chile! Sometimes your brain and your fingers don't communicate very well.
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I live on Social Security which brings in about $1000.00 per month. The amount is based on your best 10 years while working. My medical costs are paid by Medicare, an insurance policy also paid in advance. Some of my medical care is paid by Medi-Cal, which is not paid in advance. When I die, Medi-Cal takes my assets.
Meanwhile, I am in a relationship with someone who gets paid more in three hours than I make in an entire month. People pay him to argue in court but he loves me so much, he argues with me for free. ;D Have the best day
Michael
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I find that a lot of women like security, specifically financial security. Men don't seem to have the same sorts of hang ups. That's about all I can say without sounding like a misogynist.
When I read this, I knew it was going to be met with strong reactions. We all know Trey didn't mean any harm. When people get together at a very young age, I doubt financial issues come up. I suppose this becomes important when people look for partners after college or after college age. Maybe Trey meant that many straight men don't focus on how much the woman makes or if she works at all, because society has taught straight men that they should be the providers and should make enough that their wives don't have to work unless they want to work.
I know most of my single women and single gay male friends who are in their 30's or later really focus on how much a prospective partner makes. And there's nothing wrong with this. If they want a certain lifestyle, then they may as well look for love with someone who can make just as much or more than they. I'm not saying all single women and gay men are like this. I'm just speaking from my experience and the one's I know. I believe Trey also said "in his experience."
Edited for spelling
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Disability since 1994.
It erodes your belief that you deserve to be in the world. Period.
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When I read this, I knew it was going to be met with strong reactions. We all know Trey didn't mean any harm.
Well then, he needs to think before he posts. Look at what he posted. He contradicts himself by saying women have the hang up of financial security, then saying he doesn't want to sound like a misogynist. Doesn't equate out.
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I find that a lot of women like security, specifically financial security. Men don't seem to have the same sorts of hang ups. That's about all I can say without sounding like a misogynist.
~sigh~
Like Betty said, since when is wanting enough money to keep a roof over your head and food in the fridge a hang-up? Get real, mate.
I've always been financially independent. Always. When I was married, we each had our own bank accounts plus a joint one where we both put in equal amounts to pay the rent etc. At the moment, I have a bf who I know full well would pay for things for me if I let him. I don't let him unless it's a gift for a specific occasion like my birthday. I've got my pride.
Whether or not a person I was dating was on disability would not be a deal breaker.
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First of all....the term "financial security" is moot.....It's like beauty...in the eye of the beholder and discipline of the spender....... I wouldn't trade my secure monthly benefit and insurance that I earned for even an insecure 6 figure job as I've seen a few do just to be back out of work a year or less later and unable to reinstate their benefits.
Especially a guy in his mid fifties that alot of employers consider unemployable......So it really does come back alot to individual circumstances for sure......and what ever made being a woman wanting to feel secure any more appealing then for a man.
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ET, maybe you should hold off telling these women what your job/financial details are until they get to know you a little better. You could state what your profession was, but not that you're not currently working. You know, say "I'm a carpenter/lawyer/baker/truck driver" and leave it at that until you know each other better.
It's unfortunate that so many who are able-bodied assume that those who are on benefits are only on benefits to milk the system and live a life of riley. Sure, there are a few who do that, but most don't. It would be great if you were able to change a few minds about that. Good luck.
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That is excellent advice from Ann . The factors that lead some people with HIV coupled with insurance woes and the high price health care is too complex of a conversation to have with some people we know well much less an acquaintance .
I'm open to discussing these issue's with people who truly want to know but for must folks its TMI .
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Disability since 1994.
It erodes your belief that you deserve to be in the world. Period.
You really shouldn't feel this way, I've worked ever since I was 16 yrs old, non-stop and I stopped working and have been on Disability since I was 43, I paid into the system all of my life when I worked, so, to me, I don't feel that way, if I wasn't sick, and could still work, I would, but I cannot, and that doesn't erode my
belief that I deserve to be in the world no more than anyone that can still work and makes a six figure income, I'm just happy as hell that I'm still alive & somewhat healthy, after 12 yrs of Disability ;)
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You really shouldn't feel this way, I've worked ever since I was 16 yrs old, non-stop and I stopped working and have been on Disability since I was 43, I paid into the system all of my life when I worked, so, to me, I don't feel that way, if I wasn't sick, and could still work, I would, but I cannot, and that doesn't erode my
belief that I deserve to be in the world no more than anyone that can still work and makes a six figure income, I'm just happy as hell that I'm still alive & somewhat healthy, after 12 yrs of Disability ;)
I am sure that you mean well, but it's never good to start a reply, by telling a poster they should not feel what they feel. That only serves to invalidate their feelings, as if you know how they should feel, given their circumstances.
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I am sure that you mean well, but it's never good to start a reply, by telling a poster they should not feel what they feel. That only serves to invalidate their feelings, as if you know how they should feel, given their circumstances.
If you don't like what & how I post in these forums you can always click on ignore, that way you won't ever have to see what I'm saying, so stop telling me how to post and what I should say......THANK YOU
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This thread on here may be an old subject but being pretty new to the forums on this site....it would help me to understand "how people think" to get some thoughts on what people think about living on disability. After working for 30 years and paying into the system..........Why is it people equate SSD with welfare.......SSI also is not the same as SSD, but alot of people don't know the difference....I worked for 11 years under the work rules to supplement my income and now that the economy is in the tank and the works not there.....Why I am I treated like a deadbeat by working women I contact?...... Why can't a working woman be thrilled that she has a job and be glad she has the opportunity to be with a man who's still productive and can help carry the burdens and especially those at home that get neglected because of priorities..... It seems people have become so shallow that even taking the time to find out who each other are, if one compatability factors out of place forget it........I guess the art of compromise is dead for to many and it truly in my opinion is an art form....... of love.
to get back to the point, some people are raised to hate the welfare system and anything associated with it or resembles it. pay them no mind for you got to do what you need to do in order to live a healthy life. if their opinion is different than yours, that is just life on planet earth or business as usual. either way, you can not change peoples opinions. it is theirs and that is that.