POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: swsdanmltrnr on November 27, 2009, 12:45:24 pm
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So i just tested Poz in San diego, and im trying to really stay positive and grateful for life...especially because its thanksgiving week, im young, 19, and i had alot going for me....its just starting to hit me and feel so low and so disgusting, not to offend any of you its just my feelings at this time. ive always known friends who were poz but never had i thought it would be me....a lot of self hate comes up and my already low self esteem is plumiting.....anyone in the area have any advice?
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I'm 19, except I got HIV through Rape.
Got it recently too. This is what a nurse told me when I was diagnosed.
Remember; Take care of yourself, eat healthy. Exercise, Protein, Vitamins, and when time comes you just take your meds. We are young and chances are we will be fine because at least we have our youth to keep us strong. Things are improving in science, and because we are so young chances are there will be a cure in our lifetime. Especially since we live in an era where there is medication that will do good to you and you'll be fine.
Since you're young, I think you got it after you turned 18 right? One thing that is good to think about. Thankfully you got diganosed at the start of this. Think about it, if you were diagnosed 10 years latter. Your body would be in worse condition. That is the good thing because your immune system is still strong and you can keep it that way as long as you take care of your body and always talk to your doctor (via. blood work, tests, immunizations, etc)
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hi sws.
sorry 2 hear your news, but welcome aboard.
what type of testing was done on you so far?
max
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hi there dan,
sorry to hear bout your diagnosis. nevertheless welcome aboard.
i just tested positive recently. just ths oct 29 and confirmed by nov. 21.
i had the same screening last jan and i was still negative.therefore
i got infected early this year.
i know its difficult, but we got no other choice but to move on.
as what ann the moderator told me. we just have to take it one day at a a time.
eventually we'llget used to it and our lives will be normal.
just take good care of yourself
dont lose hope. we're still young. and there's still a very long road ahead of us.
btw.im 22.
always hopeful,
mikee fromthe philippines
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I remember the first time I tested positive was 3 months after I lost my virginity when I was only 16. I remember the feeling just as you describe, disgusted and I felt like my body was filthy I could imagine filthy blood running through it. I am now 21 years old I have only been living with this for 5 years, and it feels scary at times. But just keep your head up because as we get older treatment only gets better, and it is no longer a death sentence. Remember that we are newcomers to this virus and at least we caught it early but imagine how the older generation feels the ones who were told that they didnt have long to live. this is going to be tough for you but if you need someone to talk to just shoot me a line. if you reach out for help then I am sure that many will be more then happy to help you. And I wish you the best of luck.
JUST TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME. :-X
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The feelings you are having are all normal. Shame, feeling dirty, disgusted, embarrassed, self hate, low self esteem...all that stuff is part of the gig....but these feelings pass. Give yourself time and these will lessen, at first slowly, and then they'll go away. Your life will return much like it was. But, I know it doesn't feel like that now. Take it day-to-day. You will NOT feel like this forever. You mentioned you have always have friends who are poz. If you haven't already, consider reaching out to them to talk about how they handled it and how they are now.
You say "I had a lot going for me" and well, you still do. Little, actually very little, has truly changed about you. Everything you had going for you before is still there for you to pick up.
I want to leave you with a few quotes from a recent book by a world class HIV researcher, Joel Gallant. The book is titled "100 Questions and Answers about HIV and AIDS"
* (first sentences in the book) Your prognosis is excellent! HIV infection is not the progressive, fatal illness it was in the late 80's and early 90's.
* With the right treatment, HIV infection is now a chronic, manageable disease.
* If it didn't come with so much emotional, social, and historical baggage, people would react to the diagnosis the way they might if they learned they had diabetes or arthritis.....treatment for HIV is now easier and more effective than treatment for either of those diseases.
* The development of antiretroviral therapy is up there with the discovery of penicillin as one of the most important and effective medical achievements of the 20'th century, and treatment keeps getting better in the 21'st. ART has completely changed the outlook for people with HIV infection
* If you take your medications faithfully, you can keep HIV in check indefinitely, having to change therapy only because of side effects or because better drugs come along....you should plan on sticking around for a long time, living long enough to die of old age
* ...I do feel comfortable telling my patients that,together, we can almost eliminate the possibility that they'll ever die of AIDS
* It may be hard to believe now but in time HIV infection may be low on your list of daily concerns, having little impact on the life you lead and the decisions you make
* ....fortunately, treatment today is highly effective, and deaths from HIV disease are now mostly preventable in countries where therapy is available and affordable
* ....treatment can prevent HIV infection from turning into AIDS, and it can restore the health of people with AIDS
* It's also worth noting that most of the other diseases that we suffer from in the developed world are also chronic, incurable, but treatable diseases. Think of diabetes, high blood pressure, coronary artery disease, heart failure, arthritis - none of them curable, all of them manageable (though not always as easily manageable as HIV infection)
* Someday - maybe not in my lifetime, we'll cure HIV infection
* In about 15 years, we've seen HIV infection go from being an almost universally fatal, untreatable illness to a manageable, chronic disease and treatment became easier and better in the 10 years that followed.
You will find lots of support here. Ask for anything and people here will respond as best they can.
Dave
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Thanks Guys its really helped! def been a rough thanksgiving but ive talked with close friends and it has helped a ton!
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Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I found out 1 year ago at 32. I think all the anxiety I've had is due to all the movies about people with AIDS dying. Also, in 1992, my family had dinner with a friend while on vacation in CA. I was 15 at the time. The man was gay and coughing so bad. I remember thinking he probably had AIDS. He died about 2 months after that.
So, I had all those visuals in my head about what HIV meant. After all the researched I've done this year, I've found AIDS has basically been cured with treatment. Hopefully, HIV will be cured too soon. With meds, you should live to be an old man unless something else gets ya.
I would just mentioned something I've been reading about today. Many HIV docs are reporting many young HIVers in their teens and early 20's come in once or twice, but then drop out of HIV treatment. I guess this is probably due to feeling as good as they ever did. Even though they say the average is 10 years for symptoms to appear, some people progress faster. So, keep going to HIV doc.
Take care
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Hi, glad you found your way here, but sorry you had to. I tested poz in April and, like everyone else, have good days and bad days emotionally. I'm in San Diego too and if you haven't already found your way to them, Being Alive (www.beingalive.org) might be able to help. Their website is a bit out of date but they are still in business. The LGBT Community Center, (www.thecentersd.org) would be a good place to try. Either one might help you connect with the UCSD AntiViral Research Center (www.ACRCtrials.org.) They even have a youth program for those 12-24.
A peer counselor at Being Alive really helped me in the first couple day after I got my result. The best thing I can tell you right now is to hang in there, take a deep breath and relax. It can take a while to adjust to the new normal, not sure that I have completely. Fortunately you already know people who are HIV+, most likely they can help too. I didn't have that advantage. It would have been helpful.
Brian.
Edited to add: You have just as much going for you now as you ever did.