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Author Topic: Scared like never before..........sigh  (Read 8125 times)

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Offline ubotts

  • Member
  • Posts: 347
Scared like never before..........sigh
« on: December 23, 2007, 08:07:56 am »
I had been having a cough for a few weeks, so my lover said go to the Dr's cuz your
keeping me up all night long and see whats wrong..It could be your asthma.

I made an appt..but while I was waiting I had blew my nose and had blood coming out
of my mouth and nose..I mean it was pouring out like water....I got it under control, then later my lover came home, and it happened again..It was freak out time for us both.

I called my doctor and she said come in immediately..
For one, I wasn't suppose to be on this one drug with my new cocktails..I caused Hi Presser witch cause my nose bleeds..so I am new blood pressure medicine.
Also I have COPD..which they put me back on predisone..another night mare.
They took me off Ambien, the sleeping pill and tryed a new one...
There are about 4 different meds now and different inhalers for asthma..

I started a new clinic and they didn't have all my paperwork in, so I brought my own to
see why this was going on and a team of 3 who work there were so concerned and took
about an hour and a half with me....
When My lover came to pick me up, they gave her a quick test to see if she had any
Hiv  with a cotton swap.....
Wow..what an improvement from the early 80's where you had to have blood drawn and wait 2 to 3 weeks.....My lover is fine thank god...But i knew she would be.
Lesbians have very little risk of catching hiv as apposed to having intercourse with a man.

I really thought with all this going on, it was my time..
I have been hiv for over 21 yrs, I couldn't breathe, so I quick smoking finally ..because I
had no choice..Plus the blood squirting all over my rug clothes , running down my face
before I could even get to the bathroom, was hell for me itself..Plus everyone I was trying to call wasn't home,,,
Cant breathe, bleeding like crazy..I thought this would really be my last year on earth.
I figured I had almost 21 yrs beening effected, so I should be grateful I lasted that long.
 :(
For now things are undercontrol..They gave me bloodpressure meds, changed my sleeping pills, took me off some of the meds that were not mixing with my new regime
and lets hope all is OK for now.

I go for new blood work on the 28th of this month..Please say a group prayer for me, as I am still scared shitless.........

Maybe If i was normal, I wouldn't react the same way...but being poz for 21 yrs and then being infected with hep c..you just don't know what to think when times get tough..

I cant sleep so here I am on the computer..I will get the new meds list and let you all
know what they changed on me and why..but for now my lover is still sleeping and I don't want to go into the bedroom and make noise by opening the drawing and checking all my new meds out..

I will try to post again, soon...got to get ready for Christmas and we are cooking some
stuff today for Christmas eve tomorrow, so some things will be out of the way.

And so the Christmas tradition will continue for me..

I was thinking for a while that this was going to be my last..thank god and some good
new doctors, Ill be around for the holidays and more...

Thank you all for taking the time out to read my scared shit thread..Love to you all
and I hope each and everyone of you can enjoy your Christmas or whatever Holiday you
do celebrate................Joy to the world.. ;) for now... ;D
Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

Offline komnaes

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,906
Re: Scared like never before..........sigh
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2007, 08:31:24 am »
My thoughts are with you ubotts. It must be hard since it's so near to X'mas. I don't know enough any the meds but I can image how scary it must have been to see the blood.

You're a survivor and 21 more years shouldn't be such a big challenge! ;D

Big hugs to you, Shaun
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,105
Re: Scared like never before..........sigh
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2007, 12:35:56 pm »
Here's wishing you a peaceful Christmas and New Year. 
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline leatherman

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 8,583
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Scared like never before..........sigh
« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2007, 05:12:17 pm »
Gosh, that does sound pretty scarey! After 15 yrs myself, I worry sometimes with the blips in viral loads, and "strange" illnesses (I have a mystery fever twice a year). Bleeding all over the place would definitely freak me out.  :o I'm so glad to hear that you got some decent medical help!  ;)

my partner and I will keep you in our thoughts!

Best wishes to you and your lover for the holidays,
and Good Health to you for the New Year.

mikie and jim
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Scared like never before..........sigh
« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2007, 05:08:04 am »
ubotts, I'm surprised they put you on PREDNISONE. That was what caused me to have nose bleeds when I was in the hospital. The only time in my life that I've ever had a nose bleed. At least you didn't have to have your nose packed. YUCK.

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,132
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: Scared like never before..........sigh
« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2007, 07:48:50 am »
Scary story indeed....

I hope things are turning back to "normal" soon.

With 20 years of infection i also wonder if strange things will start to happen.
But then I am already a strange exception to the death sentence.

have a good xmas

Hermie
Infected 1983. Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Dovato once daily. Hydrea

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline ubotts

  • Member
  • Posts: 347
Re: Scared like never before..........sigh
« Reply #6 on: December 24, 2007, 07:55:01 am »
THE ONLY REASON I WAS PUT ON PREDISONE IS BECAUSE THE LINING OF MY BRONCULOAR TUBES WERE SO NARROW, I COULD BARELY BREATH..

I WAS ON THIS LAST YEAR , SAME TIME, AND I HAD NO  TROUBLE WITH ANY BLEEDING AT ALL..

MY  FIRST 3 DAYS I TOOK 1 WHOLE PILL 10 MGS. TODAY I TAKE A HALF A PILL FOR
ANOTHER 3 DAYS..

I CANT WAIT TILL I DONT NEED ANY BECAUSE AS YOU MAY KNOW, IT KEEPS YOU UP
AT NIGHTS..MAKES U A BIT CRAZED TOO...

THE ONE MIXTURE THAT CAUSED THE BLOOD PRESSURE TO RISE WAS PREVCAID
FOR HEARTBURN, ( I HAVE A HIGADALE HERNIA) CANT SPELL   4 SHYT.) AND THAT
DOES MIX WELL WITH REYATAZ.....THIS IS ONE OF THE NEW MEDS I JUST STARTED
SO..LETS SEE WHAT HAPPENS

WITH THE HOLIDAYS HERE AND MY FRIEND PASSED AWAY YESTERDAY, I AM A TOTAL WRECK, BUT DONT KILL US MAKES US STRONGER...

I NO LONGER SAY, OH WELL JUST PUT ANOTHER ONE ON MY PLATE..
MY PLATE HAS BECOME A PLATTER.........BUT I AM STILL HERE, GOING TO SEE MY
FRIEND THAT PASSED, THEN GO TO A CHRISTMAS EVE DINNER, AND TRY TO ACT
NORMAL... ::)WHATEVER THAT IS....

HAPPY HOILDAYS TO ALL....
Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

Offline OneTampa

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,021
  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: Scared like never before..........sigh
« Reply #7 on: December 24, 2007, 04:07:00 pm »
Dear Ubotts,

I wish you the absolute very best.  I also have been HIV+ for 21 years.  As we go into 2008, it will be 22 years.  I can only imagine how scary the bleeding was to you.

Although I have not had any wild episodes over the years, I, from time to time, become concerned about the long term effects of being HIV+ for such a long time.  But, I then immediately become very grateful that I am still here.

I know you will rebound and go on gracing everyone with your wonderful self!

Happy Holidays and a Wonderful New Year with many more to come!
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline BT65

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  • Member
  • Posts: 10,786
Re: Scared like never before..........sigh
« Reply #8 on: December 25, 2007, 08:06:59 am »
Merry Christmas Ubotts.  I hope you're having a good one and one that's filled with peace.  Take care of yourself and let us know how you're doing.   :-*
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Condom and Lube Info https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/safer-sex
Please check out our lessons on PEP and PrEP. https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/pep-prep

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/treatmentasprevention-tasp

Offline leatherman

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 8,583
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Scared like never before..........sigh
« Reply #9 on: December 27, 2007, 01:12:03 pm »
it's a few days after Christmas now and I thought I'd check in to see how you are doing. I hope things are better now.  ;)

The day after Christmas was my 15 yr anniversary for finding out I was poz. As I was thinking through all my trials and tribulations of those years, I couldn't help but think how much better I'm doing than just a few years ago, and that no matter how crappy I feel, there is always someone having a worse time than me. And that led me back to thinking about you. :D Although I was only puking for Christmas, you were bleeding, so I think you win the prize of being the sickest right now.  ;D

Let us know how you are doing, and let's hope you have a nice uneventful New Year.  ;)

mikie
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: Scared like never before..........sigh
« Reply #10 on: December 27, 2007, 09:25:31 pm »
Wow what a story. Glad you got through it all. And yeah, it sure is amazing how far we have come with better Dr's and drugs.

Thanks for sharing that amazing story.

I hope the worst is over for you!

Peace to you and your partner. 2008 is gonna be awesome.
xoxo
Jeff
Positive since 1985

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,530
  • 36 years positive, 64 years a pain in the butt
Re: Scared like never before..........sigh
« Reply #11 on: December 27, 2007, 09:37:30 pm »
Hey Ubotts,

Lordy, what a nightmare you have been having! I hope things have settled down for you a bit.

Regarding the Reyataz, I loved it, but I had the same problem with acid reflux and the hernia. I had to switch to Lexiva so I could go back on a proton pump inhibitor to keep my stomach in check.

If it causes you problems, you may want to ask your doc about switching to Lexiva or something similar. Works for me.

How are your platelets? Just wondering because of the nosebleeds, etc.

Let us know how your are doing.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline ubotts

  • Member
  • Posts: 347
Re: Scared like never before..........sigh
« Reply #12 on: December 28, 2007, 02:31:53 am »
Hey Ubotts,

Lordy, what a nightmare you have been having! I hope things have settled down for you a bit.

Regarding the Reyataz, I loved it, but I had the same problem with acid reflux and the hernia. I had to switch to Lexiva so I could go back on a proton pump inhibitor to keep my stomach in check.

If it causes you problems, you may want to ask your doc about switching to Lexiva or something similar. Works for me.
How are your platelets? Just wondering because of the nosebleeds, etc.

Let us know how your are doing.

HUGS,

Mark
Some one gave me a 50 dollar certificate to Dean's a natural health store..I was told by quite a few people who have acid reflux with the hernia that, this will help you big time..
And so far so good..
I also grabbed up a Neti pot..I was watching DR Oz on Oprah and I just had to get me one of these suckers.
Being I have asthma and I have been conjested so damn much, I went out and got me that
Neti pot..Its weird .
It looks like a genie's bottle..
You fill it up with 6oz of water, then I also bought the sea salt very fine..NO never use salt with Iodine...Remember that..
Anyway..I put my head under the sink, tilted my head to one side and placed the little neti pot
in one nostril........and out it came from the other nostril..
Its an old Egyptians treatment to cleanse your sinuses...and believe it works..
I slept like a baby for the first time in quite a while.....and I can breathe so much better, plus
its all natural.............
We take enough meds, with do harm to our organs, so...I just went out and tryed something new and loved it....
Some of you, if you have these problems, should check it out..
Btw, was at the Dr's today, and my bloodpresser is fine, my lungs were clear, but I did go on
an antibiotic, which the doctor and myself forget to do the last time i was there.
With so much going on, with the changing of meds, we both forgot, so I emailed her and she
said come in....
Did the bloodwork and by Monday, ill know whats what and how i am reaction to these new meds.
Plus..ugh....I need a liver biospy...at first i didn't want to do it, figuring, I had enough on my plate or should I say platter now.. :-\ but I will have it done and see what stage its in.
one two three or four..
If its bad enough, boohoo,,I will start that whole regimen with infuron shots for 9 months, then
after thats done, then you have to wait 6 months later for your results..

Everybody is different, it could be the reason why i get tired so much, and if thats the case,
then I can kick myself in the ass for waitng so long due to being scared shitless.

Time will tell...then I will post back and let all of you know if it was in vain or I did the right thing....  ;) Ill keep you posted...and thank you all for your time, imput and patience with me.. ;)

Live Love Laugh and dance like no ones watching.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to have a laugh everyday..Even if your not feeling your best, think about something that was funny at one time in your life and work with it..   :o)

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,786
Re: Scared like never before..........sigh
« Reply #13 on: December 28, 2007, 07:35:58 am »
Wow, Ubotts, there is so much you are dealing with.  Please, please take as good a care of yourself as you can.  And please check back in here as regularly as you can to let us know how you're doing.  Big {{{HUG}}}!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Condom and Lube Info https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/safer-sex
Please check out our lessons on PEP and PrEP. https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/pep-prep

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/treatmentasprevention-tasp

 


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