POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: woodshere on November 22, 2006, 11:11:10 am
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Last night I went out for the first time with a guy who I met last summer and just recently became reacquainted. He is 6yrs older than me and has been in working in the HIV field since 1983, publishing, doing research, social work and such. We quickly began talking about his studies and work and he casually said that he was HIV-. Then there was a long silence. Having just been diagnosed this past spring, I have told a very limited number of people and no one I had gone out with. After a couple of award silent minutes I simply said, "I'm not". What followed was the most amazing first date I have ever had in my life!! Six hours of talking, sharing, laughing and touching. Frickin' amazing (especially since sex was not involved... ;))
Now I am sure some will think, "Well that was pretty much a safe disclosure to someone who has been in the field for 23 years". However, for me it was another first of many to come. I have read numerous threads on disclosure and one thing that is apparent is the fact one will know the right time to tell. I didn't think it would come up in the first 30mins of a first date, but it did and I am so glad. I know every time I disclose won't be as great, but I sure am happy the first went so well. Just wanted to share.
Wishing all a peaceful holiday,
Woods
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Hi Woodshere,
Congrats on a successfull disclosure. I encountered a similar one and disclosed right on the stop...the timing couldn't have been better !!
As a good friend puts it, "I' ain't that hard..huh !"
Take heart and enjoy your friendship.
Rgds, Danny
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Hey Woods,
Being straight forward with the guy was the BEST thing that you could have done. Congratulations!
Make the BEST of each Day!
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Congratulations, Woodshere! In reading the details, I picked up that he perhaps disclosed to you because he might, from experience, have assumed that someone would think that he was hiv positive since it has become his life and so wanted to put out there, for reasons known to him, that he was not. Nice to see that someone whose field is hiv actually can believe what he knows, that you can touch someone who is hiv positive without wearing gloves and from a distance. It was a first, it might not have gone as it did, but you got it out there. And let's face it, the real test is what you both have in common other than hiv which, I hope, you will discover. Have a great holiday! Win
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Congrats. Disclosure is disclosure no matter to whom when or why. Too me it's always tough.
Now you can press for date #2. :P
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Congrats on the date, Woods. I'm glad it wasn't an awkward moment. I hope to have one of those pleasant disclosures one day. So when is the next date?
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Thanks for the kind words everyone. Date 2 has come and gone, 3 is about to happen, 4,5, & 6 have been planned. His doing not mine. And from disclosure we will go to positive/negative sex (no time soon, but if things continue as they are sex will come in time). Then I will be looking for info on that topic. Ahhhh, to be dating again!
Woods
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ummm, this is all going too fast for me..... ;)