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Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: jpy865 on February 04, 2007, 05:05:02 pm

Title: What is considered Safe???
Post by: jpy865 on February 04, 2007, 05:05:02 pm
This story will be something everyone can comment on my doctor said "no possible way."  Others say "you are putting her at risk."
Just the other week my GF and I took a bubble bath together it was amazing no sex just nice relaxation. 
My doctor said "good job.  Great alternative to intercourse." I felt great than my friends/family said that "I am going to infect her by doing so."
I think they were just jealous!!!!
What do you think all? Wouldn't any bodily fluids that would escaped my one-eyed monster have to find a way into her bloodstream? And doesn't soap naturally kill HIV in bodily fluids?
Plus we did not have sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: Life on February 04, 2007, 05:20:03 pm
Your friends are evidently not getting any... PS... Mr. Bubble is a prime suspect for getting your GF pregnant however...

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Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: Ann on February 04, 2007, 05:52:06 pm
jp,

There is absolutely, positively NO WAY you would infect your woman by having a bubble bath with her.

Make sure you use condoms for intercourse and you'll be fine. There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one. This shows us two things. One, condoms are very effective for the prevention of hiv transmission. Two, oral sex is much lower risk than previously believed. We now have the evidence that oral sex is a very low risk activity where hiv transmission is concerned.

You can give her oral to your heart's content. As for her giving you blowjobs, please re-read the above study I discuss. This is something you will have to discuss between you and decide where your comfort zone lies. If she pays attention to her oral hygeine, her risk is next to nil. As with anything, do some reading and make an informed decision.

Feel free to ask more questions, and/or have your girlfriend join as well and she can ask her own questions.

Ann
Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: koi1 on February 04, 2007, 06:25:56 pm
What Ann said+Hazmat suit.

rob
Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: terpie82 on February 04, 2007, 06:40:16 pm
Haha, Eric, you're just too funny! :D

jpy, Ann and your Dr. are right, and your friends are in desperate need of getting laid. And it is my understanding that soap and water can inactive the HIV virus by 30-fold and viral infected cells between 57-87% (according to the study http://aac.asm.org/cgi/reprint/47/10/3321 (http://aac.asm.org/cgi/reprint/47/10/3321)).

A gift for your friends/family:
There are many who talk on from ignorance rather than from knowledge, and who find the former an inexhaustible fund of conversation.---William Hazlitt (1778-1830) British essayist.
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.--Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)
Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon or star.--Confucius (BC 551-BC 479)
Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: DanielMark on February 05, 2007, 05:44:41 am
I felt great than my friends/family said that "I am going to infect her by doing so."

Interesting concept. Complete science fiction, but interesting.

Bubble baths are nice, especially when shared with a loved one.

Daniel
Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: Andy Velez on February 05, 2007, 08:08:43 am
The kind of swell intimate and sensuous experience you described can easily lead to intercourse, so keep those latex condoms handy. And use them everytime without exception. They provide very effective protection.

Should you find yourself having intercourse in the bubble bath, which has been known to happen, you still need to wear a condom, so keep the latex handy.

Keep on having fun together. Just make sure you do it the safer way.

Cheers,
Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: blondbeauty on February 05, 2007, 08:33:15 am
If that was a risky behaviour forget about swimming in a pool and tell your GF not to do so. You never know if anyone in an hotelīs pool has HIV. :P
Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: jpy865 on February 05, 2007, 12:26:51 pm
Thanks to all of you!!! My family and friends are just concerned that is all.
We had protected sexual intercouse afterwards but the bath was amazing.
We gave each other massages, and rubbed each others feet. Talk about getting her very very horny I was even really trying to get her excited!!!!!!!!
Safe sex all the way.  We do not want anymore STD/I's.
Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: srmn98 on February 05, 2007, 07:08:42 pm

Hello Ann. Could you point me towards these studies online ? I am a HIV + female and am  having trouble finding studies on HIV transmission via oral sex. Specifically, I want to know if I can pass on HIV if my partner who is HIV negative performs oral sex on me.  Thanks.

jp,


Make sure you use condoms for intercourse and you'll be fine. There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one. This shows us two things. One, condoms are very effective for the prevention of hiv transmission. Two, oral sex is much lower risk than previously believed. We now have the evidence that oral sex is a very low risk activity where hiv transmission is concerned.

Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: AustinWesley on February 05, 2007, 07:09:03 pm
jp,

There is absolutely, positively NO WAY you would infect your woman by having a bubble bath with her.

Make sure you use condoms for intercourse and you'll be fine. There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one. This shows us two things. One, condoms are very effective for the prevention of hiv transmission. Two, oral sex is much lower risk than previously believed. We now have the evidence that oral sex is a very low risk activity where hiv transmission is concerned.

You can give her oral to your heart's content. As for her giving you blowjobs, please re-read the above study I discuss. This is something you will have to discuss between you and decide where your comfort zone lies. If she pays attention to her oral hygeine, her risk is next to nil. As with anything, do some reading and make an informed decision.

Feel free to ask more questions, and/or have your girlfriend join as well and she can ask her own questions.

Ann


Hey Ann,

Do you have links to those studies?   I think they would be extremely helpful for those of us who've been in mixed relationships or continue to pursue them or rather questioning the idea.   I also think these studies would help open up the minds of others.  

Thx,

Wesley
Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: Queen Tokelove on February 05, 2007, 07:27:16 pm
Aww that is sweet. I always thought bubble baths with a bf to be romantic, especially if it's just by candle light...*sighs*...
Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: tsw923 on February 05, 2007, 10:20:05 pm
Ann,

I also echo the 'can you post where these studies are?' plea.  I want to be able to read it for myself and then communicate it to the bf.  I want to make sure and make sure he's comfortable with it (I'm + and he's -) I'm adventurous and all, but I'd like to remove the 'saran wrap' barrier if I could... :o

Ty
Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: Ann on February 06, 2007, 11:14:14 am
Hi Ty, hi Wes,

I used to have several bookmarked, but can't find them now. I also have a couple on my hard drive in PDF format but can't get them to post here. Most of the links I had went to an NHS database that you have to have a subscription to, so you wouldn't have been able to read them anyway.

There is one page I still have bookmarked and the study it discusses relates to pregnancy and transmission. However, there have been quite a few studies such as these in recent years, with one of them running for ten years, involving hundreds of couples of all descriptions and some of the positive partners were on meds and some weren't. In the study I'll link to, all the positive partners were on meds.

http://www.aidsmap.com/en/news/28C10338-8689-4248-8614-B3D9CEB651C1.asp

As for saran wrap - throw it out or keep it in the kitchen where it belongs! :D There has never been a documented case where transmission occurred during cunnilingus. (there have been a few cases where it was claimed to have happened, but other risks such as unprotected intercourse or shared needles came to light) If going down on a positive woman was a real risk, we'd know about it by now.

At the end of the day, you and your partner will have to decide what is right for you. In my own relationship, we worried about the cunnilingus factor at first, until all the evidence I read pointed to a no-risk issue. We haven't used an oral sex barrier either way since about six months into my diagnosis, and he's still hiv negative seven and a half years later.

Good luck hun!

Ann

PS... when I've got more time, I'll try to hunt those studies down. My links used to go to the full text, but the abstracts at least should be available somewhere. A Google search on serodiscordant couples isn't much use... these studies seem to be among the most hidden ones in history or something. ::)
Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: tsw923 on February 06, 2007, 08:53:49 pm
Thanks Ann!!!  I will be relagating saran wrap to the kitchen again....

Ty

Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: srmn98 on February 06, 2007, 08:55:40 pm
hello ann,

thanks for the update. i'm still curious about seeing those studies though. If you have any information as to which lab did the studies and which scientific journals have published the studies, it would be much appreciated. thanks much !

erika.

Title: Re: What is considered Safe???
Post by: red_Dragon888 on February 06, 2007, 09:28:21 pm
They are just scared and letting you know their feelings.  I perfer a good bubble bath.