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Author Topic: Hernia Surgery  (Read 31217 times)

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Offline wolfter

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Hernia Surgery
« on: February 05, 2014, 02:03:40 pm »
Finally broke down and saw the surgeon for my inguinal hernias.  He is totally amazed that I'm not in horrid pain as one of them is definitely ruptured.  He wanted to perform surgery tomorrow.  Me being the way I am, postponed it for the 20th.  I opted for the bilateral surgery instead of doing them one at a time.  Of course I agreed that I'd immediately go to the ER if it worsens and becomes too painful.

Already did my blood work and EKG so I'm all set.  Goodness, I hate the idea of laying up again. 

Wolfie
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2014, 02:54:56 pm »
Where I live I could not walk into a surgeon specialist's office, schedule surgery, and have all those pre-surgery tests done in one day. That's amazing. That would at least take a month here, if not two depending on the hospital.

Good luck with this in a couple of weeks. What is the procedure actually like and recovery time?
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2014, 03:01:26 pm »
Best of luck Wolfie . Oddly enough when I finally found a surgeon willing to operate on my hernia he saw me late in the day and did surgery the next morning at 5:30 .
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2014, 03:09:48 pm »
I'd have to be in an ER for that kind of service. I wonder why we're back up so much, and mind you this has happened at two different hospitals not the same one.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2014, 03:17:04 pm »
Where I live I could not walk into a surgeon specialist's office, schedule surgery, and have all those pre-surgery tests done in one day. That's amazing. That would at least take a month here, if not two depending on the hospital.

Good luck with this in a couple of weeks. What is the procedure actually like and recovery time?

The quality of care in our little rural hospital is great.  I wish I would have considered Lancaster years ago instead of Columbus.  I walked in with my forms and immediately had blood drawn and they even walked me to the EKG department where that was also immediately done.  Was in there less than 1/2 an hour.

The surgeon is also my colorectal doctor and I adore him. 

Since I'm doing both sides done, I'll be on bed rest for the first few days and then nothing strenuous for the first week.  And then light duty for 6 weeks.  But I know me, I'll be healed quicker than that.   :o

Best of luck Wolfie . Oddly enough when I finally found a surgeon willing to operate on my hernia he saw me late in the day and did surgery the next morning at 5:30 .

Yeah, I wasn't expecting this surgery to be scheduled so quickly.  I needed time to rework the schedule since I'll be limited on what I can do. 


With all the major shit I've had done, this seems easy.  It's not like I'm having another neoplastic mass  removed from my anus.  That was the most painful recovery of anything I ever experienced.
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline J.R.E.

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #5 on: February 05, 2014, 03:43:08 pm »

Good luck to you.  Aren't you in any kind of pain?  Crap,..when my finally started breaking open, it looked as though a golf ball was under the skin.  Pain was incredible and walking or standing was out of the question.

Mine ruptured at work around 2:00 in the morning, I made it through the rest of the night, trying not to show how much pain I was in  :o  . One minute there was no lump, the next minute, it just popped out.( and I felt it pop, while climbing a ladder) I went to my primary care, that morning after work he referred me to another doctor, that I seen within 1 hour and within 24 hours I was having surgery.

My inguinal hernia was on the left side, but did not require a mesh. Used about 7 staples to close it up, after surgery.

Good luck---Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune / Epzicom Eliquis, Diltiazem. Pravastatin 80mg, Ezetimibe. UPDATED 2/18/24
 Tested positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

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Offline Jeff G

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2014, 03:46:43 pm »
I had hernia beside my naval and it has a mesh that pinches and pokes now and then . I had to have the surgery done twice because it came undone .
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Offline J.R.E.

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #7 on: February 05, 2014, 03:52:50 pm »
I had hernia beside my naval and it has a mesh that pinches and pokes now and then . I had to have the surgery done twice because it came undone .

I think mine was done in 2002, and so far haven't had any issues with it.  They do tell you after surgery, that you can't lift as you did prior to the surgery.   I've been pretty careful, not to cause a repeat.

Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune / Epzicom Eliquis, Diltiazem. Pravastatin 80mg, Ezetimibe. UPDATED 2/18/24
 Tested positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of Oct 2nd, 2023, Viral load Undetectable.
CD 4 @676 /  CD4 % @ 18 %
Lymphocytes,absolute-3815 (within range)


72 YEARS YOUNG

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #8 on: February 05, 2014, 03:55:16 pm »
I think mine was done in 2002, and so far haven't had any issues with it.  They do tell you after surgery, that you can't lift as you did prior to the surgery.   I've been pretty careful, not to cause a repeat.

Ray

That was my mistake . I snatched up 60 lbs of concrete mix and it ruptured again .
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Offline moxieinme

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #9 on: February 05, 2014, 04:06:53 pm »
Good luck with your surgery!

I just had multiple hernias taken care of (4!) in one session last September. I knew I needed them done early in the summer but had to wait until I had enough open time in my schedule for recovery. Fortunately none ruptured. I had one hiatal, one naval (which I didn't even know I had until the surgeon pointed it out, and two inguinal, one was a repair, one was preventative. They used mesh for all and did them all in one morning. The most surprising thing was the time it took me to recover; while not necessarily in pain for long, the body really tells you when it's been through any kind of trauma and just when I'd feel like getting on with things my body would remind me it's not time yet. So allowing ample downtime is key.

I wish you the best.
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Offline mitch777

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #10 on: February 05, 2014, 05:06:17 pm »
I know nothing about hernias but sending you good gut vibes your way Greg!

Sounds like proper recovery time is needed or you will end up back for more surgery.

Take it easy in the mean time kiddo!  :)
33 years hiv+ with a curtsy.

Offline buginme2

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #11 on: February 05, 2014, 05:13:32 pm »
 Good luck your recovery shouldn't be too bad.   Are they doing it laproscopric?   My partner had a hernia and had surgery and it was very easy.   Up walking same day and back to work in a couple.   Just couldn't lift heavy things for a couple weeks. 
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #12 on: February 05, 2014, 05:34:56 pm »
I had no idea people had so many hernias.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline bocker3

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #13 on: February 05, 2014, 05:37:53 pm »
Thinking of you Wolfie -- though I have to ask -- when you say your postponed surgery until the 20th, you are speaking of FEBRUARY right??  Also -- 2014 -- right??? 

Sid had hernia surgery a couple years back -- he was back on his feet the next day and back to work in 4 days (with a weight lifting limit, of course).

Hugs,
Mike

Offline Theyer

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #14 on: February 05, 2014, 06:23:30 pm »
Like Miss P I was thinking the same thing as to having four that's just greedy, Moxie. I am glad your getting it treated Greg and please do not undo the fine Dr.s work by lifting crates off ale too soon.
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #15 on: February 06, 2014, 10:10:19 am »
Good luck your recovery shouldn't be too bad.   Are they doing it laproscopric?   My partner had a hernia and had surgery and it was very easy.   Up walking same day and back to work in a couple.   Just couldn't lift heavy things for a couple weeks.

Since it's already ruptured, they can't do the laproscopic.  He's using mesh to repair it.

The more stupid aspect is that the last episode happened a few weeks ago at work.  It was the first time after dealing with this for years where I felt it pop and had severe pain.  I immediately got a hot cloth and pressed the area for a couple of hours.

Through the years, this method worked but I am still seeing the huge bulge. 

When I went to my regular doctor, he checked it out and I thought he was examining me a little too much which I didn't mind.  I asked him during the check if Dr. R would need to do the same exam.  He said "of course" which I promptly said "awesome".  :) 

Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #16 on: February 06, 2014, 10:17:42 am »
Good luck to you.  Aren't you in any kind of pain?  Crap,..when my finally started breaking open, it looked as though a golf ball was under the skin.  Pain was incredible and walking or standing was out of the question.

Mine ruptured at work around 2:00 in the morning, I made it through the rest of the night, trying not to show how much pain I was in  :o  . One minute there was no lump, the next minute, it just popped out.( and I felt it pop, while climbing a ladder) I went to my primary care, that morning after work he referred me to another doctor, that I seen within 1 hour and within 24 hours I was having surgery.

My inguinal hernia was on the left side, but did not require a mesh. Used about 7 staples to close it up, after surgery.

Good luck---Ray

Mine also happened at work and I thought I was needing to call the squad.  Luckily, a hot compress eased the pain after a couple of hours but the huge bulge hasn't went away.  In the past, it would eventually look normal.

I did make the mistake of googling the new term "strangulated testicle" as my surgeon says that's an obvious concern since it is already ruptured.

Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline britchick

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #17 on: February 06, 2014, 04:30:59 pm »
Wolfter,

Promise that you will take it easy for a few weeks after the surgery, My brother -in -law has his hernia op a couple of years ago and my sister caught him using the hoover and loading the washing machine the next day!!He wouldn't sit down and wanted to go straight back to work as a post man.... lifting heavy bags and parcels .We told him he would need another op if he didn't take it easy......he went back to work about a month later and has been fine.
He had the hernia for a couple of years without going to see anyone.!

britchickx



Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #18 on: February 07, 2014, 08:48:56 pm »
Thinking of you Wolfie -- though I have to ask -- when you say your postponed surgery until the 20th, you are speaking of FEBRUARY right??  Also -- 2014 -- right??? 

Sid had hernia surgery a couple years back -- he was back on his feet the next day and back to work in 4 days (with a weight lifting limit, of course).

Hugs,
Mike

LOL.  Actually, I called the surgeon's office today to see if I can get it done any sooner.  She'll let me know on Monday if it's possible.  Of course, now that I had it scheduled, it's starting to give me problems.  I pulled it again last night so I need to stop being obstinate. 

Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #19 on: February 07, 2014, 09:00:09 pm »
LOL.  Actually, I called the surgeon's office today to see if I can get it done any sooner.  She'll let me know on Monday if it's possible.  Of course, now that I had it scheduled, it's starting to give me problems.  I pulled it again last night so I need to stop being obstinate. 



You don't want to get into crisis with this so I think you are wise to get it done as fast as possible . I had a tiny little one near my navel and it was super painful but went from bad to much worse in the space of a day  .
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Offline BT65

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #20 on: February 09, 2014, 03:13:56 am »
Greg, sorry I didn't see this sooner.  I hope you're able to get the surgery done quickly, it doesn't sound like anything to delay.  I'll be thinking about you.
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Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #21 on: February 09, 2014, 06:52:54 pm »
Greg, sorry I didn't see this sooner.  I hope you're able to get the surgery done quickly, it doesn't sound like anything to delay.  I'll be thinking about you.

You've had your own issue to deal with.  How's the recovery coming along?

Also, I actually have someone starting this evening, taking over some of my more strenuous chores.  I tried working last night and it got much worse.  By the time I got home and put a heating pad on it, it was throbbing pretty badly.  After a couple of hours resting with the hot heating pad, I've gotten some relief but still am going to see if I can just get er done before I decide to pull another wolfism and postpone it. :o
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Offline BT65

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #22 on: February 10, 2014, 03:43:08 am »
The recovery is going....I've been able to do most everything here, as in showering, cleaning etc.  I've got some horrible bruising but that's to be expected.  I believe physical therapy will contact me today and hopefully start today or tomorrow.

Please get the hernia issue taken care of.  Just think of being without that pain, that always helps.  I know when my sister and best friend got to the hospital before I went in for surgery, my sister asked if I was nervous.  I told her no, that if the surgery meant the end of the excruciating pain, I was all for it.
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Offline Jeff G

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #23 on: February 10, 2014, 10:40:00 am »
I did not have a bit of a problem after my hernia surgery . I had to be careful moving around and it was sore a bit for a week or so but it really was not bad at all .

Get that surgery Wolfie or we may have to come and hold you down while they do it   ;) .
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Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #24 on: February 12, 2014, 02:04:21 pm »
I've been waiting anxiously, hoping a cancelation would happen so I could just get this over with.  If not, I have to wait for my scheduled time of next Thursday.  I'm such a dumb ass for just not having it done immediately like he suggested.  Now, I'm already limited in my abilities so I should have had it done.

My ever working need to be productive warranted some creativity.  I took a gallon of paint and scooted all around the living room painting beneath the chair railing.  Got er all done.  :)  No straining required.
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Offline Theyer

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #25 on: February 12, 2014, 03:40:13 pm »
Well that's good news Greg .I do wish you lived nearer so that my bijou through somewhat tired London home could benefit from your frankly exhausting levels off energy . As usual take care when you are push starting 30 year old trucks or lugging crates off ale, arguing with crack heads or what ever this weeks near permanent disabling injury will be.
luvtobits
m
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Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #26 on: February 12, 2014, 04:27:43 pm »
Well that's good news Greg .I do wish you lived nearer so that my bijou through somewhat tired London home could benefit from your frankly exhausting levels off energy . As usual take care when you are push starting 30 year old trucks or lugging crates off ale, arguing with crack heads or what ever this weeks near permanent disabling injury will be.
luvtobits
m

Perhaps a visit some day.  :)  Luckily, my old Chevy has started everyday so no need to push start it.  The odometer now reads 100,000 miles so it might be time to buy my last vehicle.  I'm assuming another one that lasts 30 years will take me well into my 70's.
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Theyer

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #27 on: February 12, 2014, 05:36:38 pm »
Perhaps a visit some day.  :)  Luckily, my old Chevy has started everyday so no need to push start it.  The odometer now reads 100,000 miles so it might be time to buy my last vehicle.  I'm assuming another one that lasts 30 years will take me well into my 70's.

For the God,s sake don,t forget the travel insurance. Nearset ER 3.5 miles.

You are far more trusting about present motor design than I am unless you are planning on a Merc , there are Merc taxi,s in Europe with 200000+ on them and even more in Iran , Syria, Turkey, Morocco.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2014, 05:43:18 pm by Theyer »
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Offline BT65

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #28 on: February 12, 2014, 05:42:37 pm »
My ever working need to be productive warranted some creativity.  I took a gallon of paint and scooted all around the living room painting beneath the chair railing.  Got er all done.  :)  No straining required.

I have a good visual of this lol.  I understand how you feel, but please don't do injure anything else!
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Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #29 on: February 16, 2014, 06:14:32 am »
I came so close to canceling as the pain has subsided and it's barely visible.  Fortunately, I have enough friends who gave me the dickens and I am going through with it.  Finishing my last day at work now except for some lightweight clerical stuff that I must come in to work on.  2 weeks of not working....yuck.

I could do a lot of my work from home but will probably just proudly wear my sweat pants in and proudly show them off.  I remember how abhorrent the idea of wearing those things were just a short time ago.  At least I'm getting several recoveries out of them.

I'm in a charge of a Texas Hold'em tournament on Saturday and the NASCAR party on Sunday and I'll be delegating like hell....and micromanaging.  :) 

So in a just a few days, I'll be neutered and on my way to recovery. 
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Offline BT65

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #30 on: February 17, 2014, 06:26:52 am »
Sweats are the best when recovering from surgery.  I'm rotating through my array.  I hope you go through with this surgery, and that your recovery is as painless as possible. 
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Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #31 on: February 19, 2014, 08:47:43 am »
For my fellow sufferers of this procedure, what is the realistic recovery time?  I'm reading different things on different sites.  I only covered my work schedule for a week and am wondering if that's adequate.  I've read where some people took 6 weeks to fully recover.

That just seems too long but I might need to adjust peoples' work schedules and give them adequate notice.

This time tomorrow, I'll probably be laying in yet another damn hospital bed.  As someone who has spent several weeks at a time, several times through the years, I've lost all patience for being in them.  Just a few short years ago, I wad admitted to a palliative care room with a biohazard sign plastered on the door.  Guess how long it took my sick ass to blow a cork and promptly get moved?  :)
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Offline J.R.E.

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #32 on: February 19, 2014, 10:54:43 am »
For my fellow sufferers of this procedure, what is the realistic recovery time?    :)


After my surgery, I took a full week off from work plus the weekend.  For seven days I took it easy.  No lifting, bending, stretching etc. Keep off your feet and rest !

The first 6 hours after surgery weren't bad, bad I also had that swollen testicle sac, thing going on, ( started the following morning) ...  which did hurt for about 20 hours.  Not everyone goes through the swollen testicle sac though, I was one of the lucky ones .  :P

I went back to work and was placed on light duty for 6 weeks. ( which meant basically just being there and no, or very little physical labor.  I was also in the maintenance dept at the time.

The staples were removed about a week after the surgery. They came out very easily.


You'll get some instructions on what to do and not do after surgery. And I know you will follow them.  :)


My hernia surgery was outpatient, As soon as I woke up and took a leak, We ( Ed and I ) were on our way home. And like all procedures make sure you have a driver, if it is outpatient. They won't let you leave without someone else driving.

Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune / Epzicom Eliquis, Diltiazem. Pravastatin 80mg, Ezetimibe. UPDATED 2/18/24
 Tested positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of Oct 2nd, 2023, Viral load Undetectable.
CD 4 @676 /  CD4 % @ 18 %
Lymphocytes,absolute-3815 (within range)


72 YEARS YOUNG

Offline mitch777

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #33 on: February 19, 2014, 05:42:18 pm »
Greg,

Wishing you smooth sailing tomorrow and a quick recovery!  :)

xox,
m.
33 years hiv+ with a curtsy.

Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #34 on: February 20, 2014, 02:14:38 pm »

After my surgery, I took a full week off from work plus the weekend.  For seven days I took it easy.  No lifting, bending, stretching etc. Keep off your feet and rest !

The first 6 hours after surgery weren't bad, bad I also had that swollen testicle sac, thing going on, ( started the following morning) ...  which did hurt for about 20 hours.  Not everyone goes through the swollen testicle sac though, I was one of the lucky ones .  :P

I went back to work and was placed on light duty for 6 weeks. ( which meant basically just being there and no, or very little physical labor.  I was also in the maintenance dept at the time.

The staples were removed about a week after the surgery. They came out very easily.


You'll get some instructions on what to do and not do after surgery. And I know you will follow them.  :)


My hernia surgery was outpatient, As soon as I woke up and took a leak, We ( Ed and I ) were on our way home. And like all procedures make sure you have a driver, if it is outpatient. They won't let you leave without someone else driving.

Ray

It was explained that I'd end up with a swollen sac and it would probably turn dark.  He suggested I elevate it.  :) 

I've already discovered that I will take the advice as movement is very difficult.  At least 2 full days of bed rest.  After that, I'm supposed to get up hourly and do some small walking motions. 
After the first week, noting over 20lbs for 6 weeks.  I actually intend to mostly adhere.

He ended up repairing 2 on each side. 

I just popped a couple of pain meds which should dictate that I can at least sleep one day away.  I purposely stayed up all night cleaning to make sure of it.

thanks again all
greg
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Offline BT65

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #35 on: February 20, 2014, 03:26:22 pm »
Glad you made it through Greg.  Hoping for some really good rest and relaxation for you!!
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Offline J.R.E.

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #36 on: February 20, 2014, 04:14:51 pm »
It was explained that I'd end up with a swollen sac and it would probably turn dark.  He suggested I elevate it.  :) 


I just popped a couple of pain meds ...
thanks again all
greg


Yeah,.....Mine got to be the size of a coconut, then after the second day it went back to the normal size of a grapefruit.  ;D


Take it easy now !! Those pain ,meds will be great for the next day or two.


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune / Epzicom Eliquis, Diltiazem. Pravastatin 80mg, Ezetimibe. UPDATED 2/18/24
 Tested positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of Oct 2nd, 2023, Viral load Undetectable.
CD 4 @676 /  CD4 % @ 18 %
Lymphocytes,absolute-3815 (within range)


72 YEARS YOUNG

Offline mitch777

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #37 on: February 20, 2014, 04:50:25 pm »
Oh my! Ray, where do you buy your pants? I won't ask anything further.  ;)

Greg,
Hope you heal quickly and don't gain too much weight with the swelling. :)
33 years hiv+ with a curtsy.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #38 on: February 20, 2014, 05:51:31 pm »
Best Wishes Greg . Your a tough one so I know you will be all ok soon enough . Updates please .
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Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #39 on: February 21, 2014, 09:22:27 am »
You guys are especially funny of late, or these oxys are really great.  Still have not figured out how to put my nuts in an elevated position.  All my gear is in storage.

I ended up having 4 hernias.  I'm popping more pills for this than I ever did for my leg.    Everytime I awoke, I popped a couple more and returned to coma induced state.  I slept an entire day.

Been trying to figure out what to eat that won't cause too much distress on the toilet.  I've yet to "go" since the procedure. 

thanks again all, I've definitely been getting more support here than I have at home. 
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Offline Jeff G

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #40 on: February 21, 2014, 12:35:11 pm »
You guys are especially funny of late, or these oxys are really great.  Still have not figured out how to put my nuts in an elevated position.  All my gear is in storage.

I ended up having 4 hernias.  I'm popping more pills for this than I ever did for my leg.    Everytime I awoke, I popped a couple more and returned to coma induced state.  I slept an entire day.

Been trying to figure out what to eat that won't cause too much distress on the toilet.  I've yet to "go" since the procedure. 

thanks again all, I've definitely been getting more support here than I have at home. 

The oxy is in all most likelihood going to constipate you so do yourself a favor and add fiber and possibly a stool softener to the mix . You are pretty much a vegetarian and there aint nothing worse than a stopped up salad shooter .   
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Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #41 on: February 21, 2014, 09:37:52 pm »
Should be recovering, but am instead,quite upset.  Those who have access to my FB wall also saw some posting.  I totally prepared for the recovery; going to the store, cleaning, having comfy clothes...etc.

I went grocery shopping a few days ago to make sure we had all the basics.  I asked my mother (which I always do) if she needed anything from the store.  I forgot my protein bars but have managed a little bit of eating.  My sister offered to stop by the store for me.  She did this on my wall.  I told her that wasn't necessary. 

We have totally focused on my mother's illness but I kinda need a little support myself right now.  My siblings and friends have been checking in constantly, but my own mother has yet to even ask a single question....not about the operation, how I'm feeling or anything.  I strained to go get my own coffee earlier and she immediately started holding on to her belly and whining.

Then a little while ago, I logged into FB and she had a simple update; "sure wish I had someone to go to the grocery store for me".  My sister called me immediately upon reading it.  mom rec'd several replies, some from a few hours away, offering to help.  Her passive/aggressiveness is making it look to the outside world that her kids haven't done a damn thing for her.

I'm about to pull some of my own p/a BS and publically post and ask her if she's already out of cigarettes as she managed to go out and get those this morning. It's no wonder that I've been a fucked up mess in the past with a parent who wants to be in competition, even during illnesses.

 
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #42 on: February 21, 2014, 09:48:22 pm »
I hear your frustration and anger Greg ... it sounds like it goes way back and rather deep . I do hope that you guys find a way past this seeing how fragile life is with our illness and what she is facing . Time is short even for the healthy but when we face health issues like you and your mom are dealing with life and peace of mind and spirit takes on a new urgency .

I have mom issues and family issues so what you are dealing with is not lost on me . Best wishes . 
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Offline BT65

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #43 on: February 21, 2014, 10:27:08 pm »
Greg, that totally sucks.  Why a parent would want to minimize her child's surgery/recovery is totally foreign to me.  I agree with Jeff, it sounds like it has been happening for a long time.

I know my reaction when someone gets pissy with me, especially during something as difficult as you're dealing with, is revenge.  I want the person to hurt and/or feel as fucked up as I do.  But, just think about how miserable she must be, why else would she feel the need to act like she is?  And you're mentally sane enough to realize what she's doing.  I imagine if you casually mentioned something to her, she would feign forgetfulness, or pain, or some such. But at least you could vocalize it.  I think it's important, because that's how we can validate our feelings and own sense of self worth. 

Of course I'm not an expert.  I wish you were here, I would take care of you!  And you could take care of me lol.  What a pair we would be.  Please take care of yourself, be gentle with yourself, and stay true to yourself. I'll be sending good energy your way.

Betty
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #44 on: February 22, 2014, 07:53:21 am »
Wow, that sounds really messy Wolftie. That's the last thing you need to be dealing with during recovery. Obviously you're mother isn't thinking straight and you need to do whatever possible to just let it roll off of you.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #45 on: February 22, 2014, 01:14:14 pm »
Thanks all.  You're really great.  It's actually strange as I've known her to be this type of person my entire life yet my siblings always turned it around on me.  I'm actually grateful they're seeing it too.  I rec'd several phones from people today concerned that mother isn't being taken care of.  Anyways, I apologize for dumping but am truly grateful that I have a place where I'm comfortable enough to do so.

My pain was progressively getting worse until it kinda dawned on me this morning, that I hadn't so much as passed gas, let enough have a bm in 3 days.  I took double dosage of laxatives, and eventually sat on the toilet tooting for about 10 minutes.  WHOA, talk about relief. 

This was particularly strange for me as I usually suffer the exact opposite of constipation.  Not even sure if I've ever been so before.  I am feeling well enough to venture out for a while to play cards.

And no, I won't overdo it or include cocktails to the mix.  I again thank you all.

greg
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #46 on: February 22, 2014, 04:58:14 pm »
or include cocktails to the mix.

I'm watching you.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #47 on: February 23, 2014, 01:23:44 am »
I'm watching you.

I didn't intend to, but I had 2 beers and bammm!!!!   I was home way early and in bed by 6.

I'm facilitating the NASCSAR party today and that's it for a while. 

Am healing pretty quickly and I truly hope this is it for a while.
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline britchick

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #48 on: February 23, 2014, 06:59:55 am »
Sorry for what you had to endure this week, but im glad that you had those beers!You deserved them, Hope you feel better soon.

britchickx

Offline wolfter

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Re: Hernia Surgery
« Reply #49 on: February 23, 2014, 12:10:18 pm »
HA HA, discovered the majority of the pain wasn't from the surgery.  I hadn't realized you shouldn't take oxys on an empty stomach.  I didn't eat much Wednesday preparing for the surgery on Thursday.  I immediately took a couple pills upon returning home Thursday and slept straight through til Friday morning.  Awoke and took a couple of more pills.

I ate a little bit but was still in pain so I took more pills and slept even more.  By the time it dawned on me that I was severely constipated, it had been 4 days since a BM.  I was even needing a cane again to assist my walking.  Small amounts of laxatives didn't help.  By mid morning today, I decided to just gulp down a bunch of liquid laxative.

Just like Drano, once the clog was pushed through, it started clearing it all out.  Gushed and gushed and now I realize that was more painful than the sutured area.  I now have a new understanding for when people complain about constipation. 

Now, I can go and enjoy the Daytona 500 as long as I don't shirt myself.  :)

Happy day all 

Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

 


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