jsut tested poz

[lovelylady81]

i just tested poz in feb 2012.  was shocked, mad and disappointed in myself.  everything that i had done had replayed in head for weeks.  i automatically thought i was going to die in a few weeks.  i was so worried that i would not see my daughters grow up.  on top of all of those feelings, i was paranoid that everyone around me knew.  as of today im dealing with with the feelings better.  still dont have the courage to tell family.

[zach]

Welcome Lady. All the emotions swirling in your head right now are all normal. Quiet those demons as best you can, don't beat yourself up in anger, love yourself. Tomorrow is promised to no one, but feel reassured that you're not going to die of hiv/aids in the next couple weeks. You have every reason to expect to live, and to see your daughters grow into as lovely a lady as you are. All things in time, take everything slowly. Disclosure is one thing I would caution against rushing. There will be time for that.

You will be ok. Its a long road.

[Mrmojorisin]

Welcome Lady,
 Welcome to the forums. Sorry you have to be here. I know it is easier said than done, but dwelling on the past, how and when you were infected is of no use. You cannot undue that. Try to focus on the future and the long, happy life you can still live.
 Disclosure is a tough one. I waited almost two months before telling my kids. Usually immediate family will be supportive. There may be some initial anger, but just simply educating them about HIV will calm most fears. If you have access to it, I would suggest counseling before deciding about disclosure. Someone once told me that 72% of the things we worry about do not come to pass.
 Good luck on your journey and keep asking questions and reading these forums. By readying past threads, I can usually get the answers I am looking for..

[Jmarksto]

LovelyLady;

Your reaction sounds very similar to mine.  It sounds like you are processing and improving.  I understand the challenge with disclosure - I am not planning to disclose any time soon other than for medical or intimate partner reasons.

Welcome to the forums,

JM

[niecy_nurse]

Your story sounds familiar. I have not disclosed my status with my grown children nor my parents. The only people that need to know is your health care provider and your sexual partner.

[RiderMan]

Hi LovelyLady.  I am also a newbie and have kept my diagnosis private, somewhat. I did tell my father who is understanding but felt that I did not need to tell anyone else. Your daughters mean the world to you and I know that telling them would most likely change the way they see you.  They love you for being there for them, so there is no need to tell them...continue to be the great mother that you are, that is what is driving you everyday...your condition is a private matter and should remain that way unless you feel the need to share...I hope all works out for you.

[anmlvrnyc]

hi lovelylady,
it is getting close to 2 years since my diagnosis. i have not told any of my family or close friends. it took me almost a year to get somewhat comfortable with my status. now i go on dates and i can tell them about my status up front and honest about it. i have been thinking about telling my friends. but not my family. i have decided that i would never tell my family. it's better that way.
you do what's best for you and not anyone else. you don't have to tell anyone unless you want to and you feel comfortable.
i hope your emotion settles down soon and find peace. when i was diagnosed the best advise i got was find peace in yourself. PEACE might be my next tattoo. so i don't forget.
i wish you the best.