Why do I always choose the taller guy to fight against?

[heartforyou]

My therapist explained to me that, in difficult situations I let the small vulnarable  kid in me take over and let people walk all over me.
From the other side he said I show the strength and the power of a boxer. Like two different sides in me.
He told me : It is all in the mind. Just let the small kid grow up and train the boxer.
I thought it would be interesting for many of us to sort of visualise that image.

But, he also said that I always seem to choose an adversary from 2 categories higher then mine. Seems like I always need a challenge.
Am I a masochist or just a stubborn, driven fighter?

Anyone recognises that mechanism?

Hermie

[allopathicholistic]

do themes of justice resonate with you? what about the story of david versus goliath? i don't know about pyscho stuff i'm just throwing things into the mix! interesting post

[Biracial Bodybuilder NYC]

  Hi Hermie,
I can definitely relate to what you are saying.  Coming from an abusive father and a mother who lost her path getting involved with drugs later on, I've never been accepted by my family.  Add to that, my sexual orientation, HIV, and the fact that I have a hard time accepting I am gay, I always feel the sense of wanting to be loved and fitting in. 

I tend to allow people to walk over me simply because I want people to love, like, and accept me.  At this point in my life, I recognize this, but I still have a long way to go with working on this.  I am making very slow progress but I feel it's better than nothing at all. 

I am fortunate to have a partner (as well as, his family) who is loving, supportive, and patient, so I try to focus on being thankful for this, as well as a supportive sister. 

What's strange is that I tend to be a fairly shy guy but most people get the opposite impression because of my appearance, since I competitively bodybuild.  A lot of people make negative comments about it and say I'm taking steroids or trying to show off.  I am definitely the last guy to ever even think I am better than anyone, so those comments make me feel bad but I usually keep it to myself. 

I think the fact that you recognize your behavior means you're making great progress, so I would say you're a driven fighter committed to making success in your life's journey.  I would hope you look at a challenge meaning that you're strengthening yourself mentally. 

Take care and be well,
Marco-Antonio

[heartforyou]

Thank you guys.

I talked to my therapist tonight and realise I have a long way to go.
Marco, yes , i can hear you.

thanks for the inspiration.

Love

hermie

[Thom Martin]

Sweet Hermie,

What ever it is that makes you tick, it's the reason that Ric and I love you so much.

We know that you will come to grips with this and that you will always come out on top.

Love and hugs, T&R