POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Rabbit on July 28, 2006, 05:26:16 pm
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Dear all,
I am sorry for asking this foolish question but I really want to know the answere.
I am a new member here. I am not infected with HIV but my lover is a HIV positive person. I love my lover very very much and I do not want to leave him alone with his HIV. I was shocked about this. But I am ok now thanks to this forum.
SInce he told me about his HIV infection,and worried very much about our future. He also worries and thinks that I will leave him alone. I keep telling him : the most important thing is your health. I will be with you forever and I will remind you to take medicines. Two heads are better than one and do not worry. You will live with me until you are at least 70 years old (we are 28-29 years old now). I will work more to take care of you.
He is very happy now . I worry but I do not let him know. I do not know how long he could live ? The truth is the truth. I want to know to have a plan for our future. A plan for a normal life is different from a plan for a short life. However, we should enjoy it. Fail to plan is plan to fail. Could you please tell me about this question?
I wish you all very good health and a good weekend.
Tigercub
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Dear Tigercub,
Two heads are better than one. They told me once with my T-Cells and my viral load to expect 5 years. That was 10 years ago, I took the choice for aggressive treatment and followed every instruction. That same doctor later told me that unless I get hit by a bus, to expect to live to see old age. I got very cautious around public transportation, I also continue to take my meds on time, every time, with few mistakes. We are not perfect but we have to try.
My current doctor, who is considered to be the finest HIV physician in the entire state recently told me to expect to live to a very old age. I am still cautious around public transportation. There is a news article about my current doctor in my web site www.Commission-on-AIDS.org (http://www.Commission-on-AIDS.org). Click on the SERVICES tab and then on the medical services link. As Marshall Kubota stated in his article, he is not the hero, his patients are. Have the best day
Michael
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Plan for a normal life span, but not a for a normal life, plan for an amazing life together, ideally buying property that will still be above water in 25-40 years time, with a good view. And wear your seat belts.
This is a slightly tangential way of saying that probably, with the state of treatment now and the bright horizon for new developments in drugs etc, the most dangerous thing about HIV is probably the way you think about it, and life will present more mundane but more serious challenges than this virus. Clearly, HIV infection introduces some uncertainty to life, but it can come to be seen relatively unimportant in the scheme of things. This is a fair and reasonable way to set out on the journey, even if right now it feels an unlikely way of being (together). - matt
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Hear hear!
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I found out in 1986... , i think that 20 years of marriage, and 2 kids speaks for itself.... RELAX!!! if you love... then keep on loving!!
lisbeth
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Thank you very much. I am happy now . I will phone my lover soon to tell him about what you all siad before I go to bed so that he is happy today.
Tigercub.
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Tiger,
I asked my doctor the same question. She started to tell me I could expect to live a normal life span then she stopped and looked at my chart. She noted that I smoked 2 pks a day. She then explained to me HIV should not be my worry, lung cancer should! If I quit and I don't get hit by that stray bus everyone is referring to then I should live a normal life span....
Thomas
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I also asked my Dr about the toxicities of HIV meds. He said I should expect a normal lifespan and that it was much worse to drink or smoke than to take antirretrovirals.
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Hello Tigercub, it is Eldon. Your question is not a foolish question. You can be open and honest and ask questions on the forum. Again, welcome to the forums. Michael used a good metaphor by getting hit by a bus, this is why he stays away from public transportation.
I have been positive since August of 1990. I never took any meds and have had the best of health. Now, recently in Feb 2006 my doctor put me on meds to supress the virus.I have also been told that I can expect to live to an old age also.
Your honey will be fine. All he has to do is find the right doctor that will give him the right treatment. Have him take his meds as prescribed by the doctor.
We are All here for you and any support you need, you know where to come.
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I was told by my doc -
"Go live your dreams, you will be around for them".
"I wouldnt sell your life insurance policy just yet". ;D
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Hey Tigercub,
You asked the $64,000 question - not that you were around when that show was on TV.
How long will any of of live? Who knows. I tested positive in 1985. I have been on meds for a little more than 10 years.
Have I had a few ups and downs with the meds? Sure. It comes with the territory. But I am still on the same regimen I started in June 1996.
You know what I am facing? Everything else that comes with the approach of middle age. (The first person who makes a crack about my age is gonna get it! >:( )
Cholesterol; Arthritis; Bifocals; Wrinkles - I couldn't be happier. I never thought I would see it. Now, if only I had saved some money along the way . . .
By the way, welcome, and may I say your lover is a lucky guy.
HUGS,
Mark
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Dear All,
Thank you very much for your kind replies, which really help me at this momment. I hope my lover will have a normal life span and I will help him to gain this.
I wish you all good health and a great summer.
Tigercub
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Just thought id add something after reading all this.
Every person on this forum is so supportive and caring and allways ready to help.
They helped me out since november last year when i teste positive and im so grateful to all of you.
Hugs
B
Thanks guys!!!
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very cautious around public transportation
The true villain. Look out! ;D
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Old age will get me before the virus does, or that bus ;)
45, 9 years on meds.
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Tigercub,
Your question isn't foolish at all.
If your lover adheres to a responds well to medication when needed, you can expect he'll live to a ripe old age.
The bottom line is that no one knows when their days will end, HIV positive or not.
Live now. Love now. Now is all we can be sure of having.
Daniel
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Wow, this IS the question that seems to always reside in the back of my mind. When I was diagnosed, back in February, the thought that most concerned me was the "fact" that I would never grow old; I have two children, 22 and 25, an ex-wife, two ex-boyfriends, and I'm 52. My father is still alive and very much kicking at 94, my mom is 88. Somehow I had always just thought that I'd live as long as they did. Today, after having started meds, and having had a while to think about this more, I realize that the ONLY thing I know is that I don't know. But then again, no one ever knows whether that bus is going to hit them today, tomorrow, in the next hour! Life has to be lived with that uncertainty. All I can do is live each day one day at a time, keep doing the things that I know encourage my health, pray for continuing medical advances, and be grateful. And grateful I am....in so many ways, HIV has taught me how to live life fully, how to recognize what is important and what isn't, and how to appreciate the health that I DO have.
Robert
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Dear all,
I thank you for all what you have told me. I am happy that HIV+ people could live a normal life span as others do. I will help my lover so that he could be with me forever.
Tigercub