Just tested positive (HIV) and feeling lost

[dizzy42]

Hi to all and hope all are doing well;

I tested positive on 3/4/09 at my primary doctor's office. I was told to see a specialist.  So, I went to an HIV clinic were I was tested again on 3/19/09.  In 20 min the results was positive.  My boyfriend also, tested positive.  Blood work was done and went back to see my new doctor on 4/1/09.  The results were positive with a CD4 count of 239 and the VL of 13000.  My doctor started me on ATRIPLA.  She said it was strange that my CD4 was low considering that I've test negative on 9/30/08 and in Oct, 2007.  Every year I test my self and always was negative until now.  My boyfriend had it and didn't know. She said my CD4 should have been higher.  My boyfriend's CD4 is 233 and his VL is also around 13000.  He thinks he must had had it for about 5 years.  I've been with him for one year.  Does this mean that my immue system is low if our count is the about the same?  Why is my CD4 239 when I just tested positive?  Does anyone  know? I'm feeling lost because this is new to me.

Thank you

[dtwpuck]

Everyone reacts differently.  Since you only recently seroconverted, your counts are probably going to be volatile.    CD4 counts are notoriously capricious.  I had one once that was 1030 and one month later it was 310.   What counts is the long term pattern.  Since you are going on atripla, they will be improving soon.

There are lots of links on this site under 'all about hiv'.  I suggest looking at some of them.  Also, the people here give really great advice.

How are you doing emotionally?   How is your bf dealing?   There's a good likelihood he's feeling guilty.   Are you able to talk with him about this?   

Welcome to the forums.   

[dizzy42]

Thank you for the info.  My boyfriend hasn't mentioned about how he feels that he gave it to me but, he is not taking this well.  He was a mess when I had to tell him.  He didn't believe that he gave it to me until i showed him my pass results.  I can't blame him cuz he didn't know he had it.  It's not easy for me to deal with this and I know its the same for him.  So, we both are going to fight this together.  After speaking with counselors we became stronger with our emotions.  We both have to be there for each other.  It's just taking a different path in life now.  Just taking it day by day and learning more about this.  I know we will make it.  I've read about so many people who had this for years and still living a normal life.  So, we have faith.  thank you   

[dtwpuck]

It's true that many people have long normal lives with HIV.  In fact, that's more often than not, the norm these days for people who are newly infected and who have access to health care.

Be thankful you have each other.  it is not going to be an easy road, but at least it's a road.  Love each other and help each other through this.   And, be forgiving when one of you has a lapse into insecurity and sadness.  It's normal.  You cannot control what happens to you.  But you can control how you behave toward each other and how you react to your new situations.   

I wish you all the best and hope you are able to help each other.

Again, welcome to the forums.

[dizzy42]

Thank you so much for your time in replying to my post.

[BlueMoon]

The whys don't matter, only the whats.

Of course your immune system is low, which is why you were prescribed the Atripla.  I haven't used it, but by most accounts it works well and you should see good results soon.

Take heart and do what needs to be done.  Be strong and optimistic for your boyfriend.  He needs you as much as you need him.  Once you get used to it, HIV will be just another inconvenience to be dealt with.

[dizzy42]

It's been two weeks since I've started Atripla, my next appt. is on 4/29/09.  I feel positive that the counts will go up.  I feel good, no side affects.  Yes, I will be there for my BF, always. I love him very much.  Hoping that we can get use to this soon so, we can live normal lives again.  Right now, we do stress but we are trying to move on, it's just a little hard right now, cuz this is new to us.  But, we have faith.  Thank you.

[dtwpuck]

I'm glad to hear from you and that you are not experiencing side effects from Atripla. 
I'm also very happy to see you write the words "i love him very much".   I'm sure he feels lucky to have you in his life too.

:-)

[dizzy42]

You just put tears in my eyes, thank you.  I'm going to like this forum.  The support you guys give here is so positive.  I read the other replies that are given to others and it's so supportive that words can not explain.  Thank you