Does the emotional roller coaster ever stop ... or at least slow down?!

[SecretKeeper]

My husband just tested positive the middle of June.  He got his first test results back mid-July (actually, Friday the 13th - yuck) and they were much worse than he was expecting.  He's at 17%.  He doesn't get his next blood draw until the end of September and then we won't get those results until mid-October.  He doesn't ever say he's depressed - (God forbid he open up and tell anyone how he really feels or what he's actually thinking) - but I can tell there are days he's definately down in the dumps.  Does anyone have suggestions on what I can do or say - if anything - to "make it all better"?  He's also chosen not to disclose his status to several family members yet, even though I think some of them could be excellent sources of support.  Any suggestions for us newbies?

[milker]

Hi again Secret,

there is no urgency to disclose. Take a deep breath and you and him have plenty of time to think about who should be aware of his status. There are many consequences, good and bad, so what I suggest is that you spend time reading the forums, there are plenty of posts about this situation (you can click on "search" and type "disclosure family" for example). But this is not just about disclosure, it's about you and him feeling good starting this journey together, and once again there are many posts about couples living with hiv, so read along, and don't hesitate to ask questions

Does it get better? Yup. Knowledge & knowing that there are people out there that are available for you makes it way better. The first months after diagnosis are a bit insane, I agree 

Milker.

[RapidRod]

Yeah, it eases up. It's like taking the double loop out and all you do, is go for the ride. To tell you the truth it gets boring. Not in a bad way though. Kinda like a new car exciting at first, then after a while it's just a car. If you are rich it's a fast sporty car. 

[milker]

Kinda like a new car exciting at first, then after a while it's just a car. If you are rich it's a fast sporty car. 

Um ok. Go back to your cage, Rapid



Milker.

[water duck]

After the Storm...........the Calm..................the Sunshine

During the Calm , we take stock of the "damages"

During the Sunshine, we do the "repairs" and prepare for the next "storm"

AND we get better in handling the "storms" and better "skilled" in doing the "repairs"

Wd

[Teresa]

It has been over a year since hubby was diagnosed. I can tell you that it does get better. It has been one hell of a ride for sure, but things are pretty much back to normal. There are days that I don't even think about it anymore. I don't dwell on it like i did. I read the lessons here and learned all I could about HIV/AIDS.

Give him plenty of hugs and kisses and let him know that you are there for him and that you love him. Its good that you found us here. The people here are fantastic! They have saved my sanity more than once.

Wishing you and hubby the best!

Hugs
Teresa

[madbrain]

My husband just tested positive the middle of June.  He got his first test results back mid-July (actually, Friday the 13th - yuck) and they were much worse than he was expecting.  He's at 17%.  He doesn't get his next blood draw until the end of September and then we won't get those results until mid-October.  He doesn't ever say he's depressed - (God forbid he open up and tell anyone how he really feels or what he's actually thinking) - but I can tell there are days he's definately down in the dumps.  Does anyone have suggestions on what I can do or say - if anything - to "make it all better"?  He's also chosen not to disclose his status to several family members yet, even though I think some of them could be excellent sources of support.  Any suggestions for us newbies?

Well, if he doesn't open up, this may be hard. But he should discuss his mood with his doctor. Many HIV specialists are experienced in prescribing anti depressants since it's such a common thing for us, especially at the beginning. And there is less stigma than seeing a psychiatrist or a counselor. Both definitely helped for me. But it's still a pretty traumatic event regardless, and it's going to take time to adjust. I think opening up to family helped me too, but everyone is different.

Oh, and I got my poz result on November 1 2006, which is All saints' day, or the day of the day of the dead where I grew up  . How is that for symbolism ? Good thing I'm an atheist.