Author Topic: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond (Read 7847 times)

Andy Velez · « **on:** May 28, 2007, 10:24:10 am »

Belief has posted a thread in the Women's section about the death of her husband. Some men have wanted to respond. Since a guy writing in the women's section is against AM rules, I thought I'd begin this thread for anyone who reads her thread and wants to say something. I'm sure she will appreciate any support.

bear60 · « **Reply #1 on:** May 28, 2007, 10:49:16 am »

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

Robert · « **Reply #2 on:** May 28, 2007, 11:09:23 am »

belief......

I am so, so sorry. This is just so sad. My deepest sympathies.

robert

allopathicholistic · « **Reply #3 on:** May 28, 2007, 11:24:50 am »

Hug for strength during this deeply emotional time

Alex

Dan J. · « **Reply #4 on:** May 28, 2007, 12:03:33 pm »

My deepest condolences to you and your family during this difficult time.

Dan

belief · « **Reply #5 on:** May 28, 2007, 12:12:26 pm »

hi everyone,

thank you all for your kindness over this difficult time. i can't even begin to explain where my heart is at right now. my husband is gone, my son's father is gone. i am in such disbelief...there are no words. as some of you may know, my husband and i were in the midst of a divorce. our lives have been turned upside down over the past couple of months with all of the changes and challenges we faced together and separately...my husband just could not cope with the loneliness and depression those challenges brought to him. on the 20th of may, he took his life. he was laid to rest on my birthday - the 25th of may.

there are so many things i am feeling...anger, hurt, sadness, guilt...and anger again. i wish i would have done things differently in life, and differently for him. he could still be here, he could still watch his son grow to be a man.

i am now presented with new challenges - raising my son on my own. i'm not sure how i will do this...but i will. again, thank you for your support.

DanielMark · « **Reply #6 on:** May 28, 2007, 12:21:42 pm »

My condolences to you and your family, Belief.

Daniel

Iggy · « **Reply #7 on:** May 28, 2007, 12:53:49 pm »

Belief,

Awkwardness wants me to just avoid this thread as I can't begin to think of what I can say.

I am so sorry that you are going through this and I will keep you in my thoughts.

Iggy

Longislander · « **Reply #8 on:** May 28, 2007, 02:23:16 pm »

Belief, my heart goes out to you and your son. I'm very sorry.

Paul

SoSadTooBad · « **Reply #9 on:** May 28, 2007, 02:44:26 pm »

Belief - so sorry that things have gone in this direction. Many good thoughts of peace and support to you. PM me if there is anything I can do.

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #10 on:** May 28, 2007, 03:33:18 pm »

You have my condolences. And I will keep you and your son in my prayers.

Alain · « **Reply #11 on:** May 28, 2007, 03:51:32 pm »

Belief,

I am so sorry for your loss.

With fondest thoughts.

Alain.

aztecan · « **Reply #12 on:** May 28, 2007, 03:55:14 pm »

Belief,

My heart goes out to you and your son. You will both be in my thoughts.

Mark

Jody · « **Reply #13 on:** May 28, 2007, 04:02:37 pm »

Dear belief...My condolences to you and your son and loved ones in this most difficult time.

Jody

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #14 on:** May 28, 2007, 04:34:34 pm »

Belief,

Matty the Damned offers his condolences to you and your family during this terrible time.

Fondly,

MtD

Basquo · « **Reply #15 on:** May 28, 2007, 06:28:06 pm »

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Best,
Creighton

Life · « **Reply #16 on:** May 28, 2007, 08:28:29 pm »

Belief, I am so sorry for your loss. Please suround yourself with loved ones during this time.

Love & Peace,

Eric

RapidRod · « **Reply #17 on:** May 28, 2007, 09:38:26 pm »

Sorry for you and your son's loss, Belief.

anniebc · « **Reply #18 on:** May 28, 2007, 09:59:18 pm »

Hi Andy

Thanks for puttig this into the "Living" forum.

Although I was the one who reminded Bob that it was the "Ladies" only forum he posted in I knew he meant well and wanted to give his support, and I knew other guys here would want to do the same and support a member of our AM family...I just never thought about putting up a thread here for Belief, so thanks again.

Hugs to you all
Jan

joemutt · « **Reply #19 on:** May 29, 2007, 12:52:38 am »

My sincere condolences to you and your son,
I will keep you in my thoughts. Joe

joyluckclub · « **Reply #20 on:** May 29, 2007, 01:00:04 am »

Belief,

You, your son, and your family are in my prayers.

StrongGuy · « **Reply #21 on:** May 29, 2007, 03:08:13 am »

So very sorry for your loss...

Mike

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #22 on:** May 29, 2007, 03:22:38 am »

Belief: so sorry for your loss and hope that you and your son will fare well on your own.

milker · « **Reply #23 on:** May 29, 2007, 08:08:02 am »

Sorry for your loss and the difficult times you are going through.

You and your son are in my thoughts,

M.

J.R.E. · « **Reply #24 on:** May 29, 2007, 08:34:18 am »

Dear Belief,

My deepest heartfelt condolences go out to you during this difficult time.

Ray

LT · « **Reply #25 on:** May 29, 2007, 08:44:40 am »

It is always so difficult to find any words strong enough to express sympathy for the loss of a loved one. All of our thoughts are with you.

Depression is a nasty beast. I know, because I've battled it, and thoughts of suicide most of my life. Every time the road of life offers a little bump, a fleeting thought of ending it all enter my head. Some days it is something as small as missing a buss that is the trigger. Other times it takes a more serious thing like the loss of a job, pet or friend to make me consider it. On the bleakest days, it sometimes seems like the only option I can see.

When one of these spells hit, I try to remember something I read in a job search/resume writing book. Because being fired often triggers thoughts of suicide, it suggested to wait. It is always something you can do another time. Sleep on it, and tomorrow just might be a little brighter.

And of course every day has another night to sleep on it, and another tomorrow that might be brighter.

I wish I could have offered that advise to your husband. That, and my experiences with anti-depressants, and counseling, and some tricks to knock notion out of my head.

I guess my only comfort to you is this: Don't blame yourself. It was nothing you did, and there was nothing your could have done to prevent it. It was his thoughts, his his fears, his tunnel vision of a bleak future. Ultimately it was his decision, and his decision alone.

I know this hasn't been the most positive and uplifting of a post. My thoughts are not meant to be insensitive, or to shock, or offend. I hope it is taken in the spirit it is offered.

SASA39 · « **Reply #26 on:** May 29, 2007, 09:32:54 am »

Quote from: belief on May 28, 2007, 12:12:26 pm

I can't even begin to explain where my heart is at right now. my husband is gone, my son's father is gone. i am in such disbelief...there are no words. ...my husband just could not cope with the loneliness and depression those challenges brought to him. on the 20th of may, he took his life. he was laid to rest on my birthday - the 25th of may.

there are so many things i am feeling...anger, hurt, sadness, guilt...and anger again. i wish i would have done things differently in life, and differently for him. he could still be here, he could still watch his son grow to be a man.

i am now presented with new challenges - raising my son on my own. i'm not sure how i will do this...but i will. again, thank you for your support.

I`m stunned by your sincere thoughts .
Why ?
Because I feel ashamed reading your post.
Because my wife is feeling some similar emotions , anger , hurt , sadness ............and she said to me once that she could do some things different too............
Belief , you must forgive him ,....................in that way you can forgive yourself too , for the things that you are not guilty of , but a person could not run from a presumption like that.........." Maybe if I have done something differently , he will be still here "................
Maybe he was trying to save you two from a bigger troubles in a future.......
Maybe he thought that if he is gone , a reason for a trouble would gone with him also........and that he would save you in a longer run.............in a few years your son would be a grown up man , you can relocate into a another city and this time of sadness will never be forget , but it will be abatement in a way , maybe..........
He will be always a father to your son..................
Please remember him as a picture of joy and happyness , and not as a person that he might be at his end...................
I`m sure that he would like to be remembered that way.............. Al

carousel · « **Reply #27 on:** May 29, 2007, 10:44:41 am »

Belief

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.

My condolences to you and your son.

Very best wishes
Charles

AlanBama · « **Reply #28 on:** May 29, 2007, 11:54:06 am »

Deepest sympathy on your loss...

Alan

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Author Topic: Belief's husband died and some men have wanted to respond (Read 7847 times)

Dan J.