POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: xtente on June 12, 2007, 04:13:29 pm
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Since i came to this forum I have encounted various ppl. Most have been GREAT and a few have been not so great. I feel that anyone suffering with HIV cannot afford to indulge the things that many negative ppl do. It affects us differently. Therefore, I avoid mean, sarcastic comments, and if someone disagrees with me, I allow them the space to do so. I avoid negativity and stress at all costs. I just want to say to all ppl suffering with HIV and any other ailment, remember, every day could be your last whether you are negative or positive. I plan to make sure that were i do drop dead at any moment, my last words would be kind, uplifiting ones, and not combative ones.
Xtente
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Xtente,
For someone who likes to avoid negativity and whatnot, you sure seem to have gotten yourself involved in quite a number of spats in the short time you have been with us.
For a recent example, calling someone out in the name of a thread (or sub-title of a thread) is boarderline flamebaiting. I would thank you to think carefully before you post and examine your heart to make sure you aren't trying to goad someone. Thanks.
Ann
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Oh, and Extente? Just in case my gentle demeanour fooled you, that post above was a stern warning.
Ann
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Hi Xtente,
Welcome to the forums.
If you are "suffering" with HIV or any other ailment, then you are making that choice. I prefer not to suffer about anything, least of all anyone else's comments on the Internet. That would just be a waste of my energy and my time. Perspective is everything, and everybody’s different.
As they say, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
My two cents,
Daniel
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Since i came to this forum I have encounted various ppl. Most have been GREAT and a few have been not so great. I feel that anyone suffering with HIV cannot afford to indulge the things that many negative ppl do.
HIV is not going to make me more mellow or less combative. I'm sorry you feel too much negativity in your exchanges with the members, but from what I've seen so far, you have not been very relaxed either ! Those forums are a great place for discussion, and that includes discordance (pun intended), we cannot agree on everything but we can agree to disagree.
Milker.
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God spoke to me and told me a thread like this would appear.
;D
(only kidding. feeling sick, so a bit punchy today)
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Amazing. I'm not able to judge the sincerety of the initial post. But, since I have no reason to doubt its sincerety, I would believe xtente to be sincere. Therefore, I find myself appalled by the lack of compassion, forgiveness, and understanding in the posts which follow.
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To answer your question Can anyone with HIV afford to be hateful............
YES..........seems to go with the territory. But I'm working on being more agreeable.
For some people being a bitch comes quite naturally....with or without HIV
Leave it to Ann to demonstrate my point......YOU GO GIRL :-*
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It's been my experience that those who "suffer" HIV without a fight or a combative attitude will not live long. I have outlived well over sixty friends, tricks, lovers and associates, so I do have a grasp of the topic, and would never have made it this far if I had chosen acquiescence.
Brent
Who wonders about some of these people sometimes)
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I think I will put my trust in meds and not in God, when the time comes. And no HIV is not a punishment for not leading the life that the religious right hypocrites want the rest of the world to lead. I am highly offended by this tired ass perspective. Just like the idiots at gay pride who yelled horrible things to me and other people having a peacefull celebration: \\\"God abhores you...you are going to hell...\\\" I felt like throwing my water bottle at them, but with my luck...
Anyway, this thread is not worth gettin\\\' all worked up.
Carolann (who needs to go take her loperamide)
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I declare, I don't have a hateful bone in my whole body. To me hate is a strong word and I don't usually use it towards a person. I usually hate some people's ways but not them personally, if that makes sense. I am much like you, I do not associate with people that carry drama or negativity with them but people that are not poz can be affected too if they are always negative...heart attacks, high blood pressure and can be just as fatal.
In the future, I would be careful what you post. Since it was pointed out that you are also known to be hateful it seems to me like the pot calling the kettle black. Also if you hadn't noticed, moderators have memories like elephants, they never forget..... :D.....Have a nice day....
(who tries to be her own ray of sunshine)
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Xtente
I guess it depends on the kind of person you are. I'm your typical Brit - up tight, unemotional and certainly never say what I'm thinking. Think a Hugh Grant character on anti-psychotics.
I've found that internalising my anger, grief, or bitterness has led me into some pretty self-destructive behaviours. It certainly caused me to neglect my sexual health and the stuff that's good for me - gym, diet, work. Whatever you're feeling comes out somehow, in my experience. I'm working on being a more open person with my emotions - if they make me a more challenging person to be around for other people, so be it.
I guess that if the last words out of my mouth were bitter, hateful ones, I'd hope that people would be able to see past them to a pretty good track record. Striving to be perfect all of the time outwardly doesn't mean it's not there - and sometimes saying it, letting it out is the path to lower blood pressure!
M.
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I agree absolutely with what Brent posted:
It's been my experience that those who "suffer" HIV without a fight or a combative attitude will not live long.
That's been my experience too.
Daniel
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I think it's one thing to be an ass and another thing entirely to fight HIV. I don't see how being cordial is 'giving in' to this virus. Like David said above, some people are just bitches, HIV+ or not. Often, it's obvious when a poster is having a bad day. Sometimes that bad day is cause by HIV; other times it's not. Regardless, I try to not let my bad days spill over onto anybody else's, as they have their own crap to deal with. If I can't add anything to a post that will benefit another, why say (type) it? Humor is the exception, as it's its own benefit. ;)
D
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what i have found in this forum is DESPAIR. EACH and EVERY one of my posts had something HELPFUL in it. You dont have to worry about me anymore because guess what? I am not interested in hanging out with a bunch of narrow minded people. not ONCE have I uttered ANYTHING negative and if anything was even slightly negative it was in self defense. So you can take your warning elsewhere. You are obviously unfair and biased. The funny thing is, i never FELT like i belong in this forum and that is because it is a place of LOSS and DESPAIR and I am jovial healthy and happy. People attack ME and YOU have the nerve to warn me? Please, I dont even NEED this forum. I have been on meds for YEARS on and off, and healthy, asymptomatic and upbeat, high t-cells, good marriage and supportive family.
The one thing i will say is that some ppl get HIV by accident, and some acquire, that is, they went out and got it. The thing i have found here in this forum is the SAME mindset that allowed for SOME ppl to contract/acquire the disease. Self hatred, low self esteem, backbiting and the like. There are people here who believe in nothing but pleasing the flesh, and obeying their doctors. Some ppl here blame GOD for "punishing" them with a disease THEY went out and got (not all did this but some did). I mentioned "God" in one of my other posts and someone went ballistic on me. And Ann, you want to give ME a warning. Please. Dont bother to reply because I wont be reading this forum after this post.
And for those of you who acquired HIV through reckless means, stop moaning about it and get on with it. At the end of the day its a situation you created, and I accept responsibility for my condition. Accept yours and get on with it.
Very truly yours
Xtente
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THANK YOU SO MUCH, for your defense of me, but I am leaving this forum. Its filled with hate and despair and bitterness. Let them have it. And I now say this with anger, in 10-15 years the earth will be better off without some of these hateful ppl.
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Bye (again)
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I am not interested in hanging out with a bunch of narrow minded people. not ONCE have I uttered ANYTHING negative and if anything was even slightly negative it was in self defense. So you can take your warning elsewhere. You are obviously unfair and biased. The funny thing is, i never FELT like i belong in this forum and that is because it is a place of LOSS and DESPAIR and I am jovial healthy and happy. People attack ME and YOU have the nerve to warn me?
You know, this outlandish broad brush criticism is indicative of a deep bitterness you must live with Xtente, despite your claims to the contrary. You are a contradiction unto yourself with your acid comments. Your victim-speak smacks of self pity and only confirms to me the kind of person you are or have become. Condemnation and hate are unhealthy and in this case, completely uncalled for. I am not interested in your black judgements, nor your despair.
This is getting old now so do take care,
Daniel
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the anger you jsut evidenced is is what this FORUM brought OUT in me. look at my other posts. All nice and supportive with titles like "HIV + ppl there is Hope" "I know a way to get your T-cells up" so for you now to selectively decide that I am the Devil because I have been attacked and have responded with in anger at an unwarranted attack is ridiculous. If you NEED to believe that I am bitter and unhappy then do so, but up until the point i was attacked there was NO BITTERNESS in my posts. As I said I am healthy happy and full of loved and AM loved. My wife loves me, my family loves me, and EVERY day is a great day.
Your rebuttal sounds like some high school lunchroom nonsense to me
Be well
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And Ann, you want to give ME a warning. Please. Dont bother to reply because I wont be reading this forum after this post.
I suspect you will be reading them but I doubt very much you will be posting in them for much longer.
Adieu and farewell!
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50 minutes after ...
... Dont bother to reply because I wont be reading this forum after this post.
... he's still online! Imagine that.
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Good grief. Not again. I'm regretting taking time out of my day to take you seriously earlier and try and contribute to your post without prejudice from threads you have previously posted.
I stand by the comments I made in the thread you started last time you "left". I doubt an attention seeking ego like yours would go without looking at the upset you've caused.
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
M.
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There are few things more contemptible in these parts than the swandive fare-thee-well thread.
Brent
(Who burns no bridges)
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THANK YOU SO MUCH, for your defense of me, but I am leaving this forum. Its filled with hate and despair and bitterness. Let them have it. And I now say this with anger, in 10-15 years the earth will be better off without some of these hateful ppl.
I'm appalled that someone would actually post on a HIV website (or any website for that matter) their wish to rid the earth of people they disagree with...angry or not. This speaks volumes.
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I hope he's still reading this because I'm compelled to say...oh never mind, I just remembered my manners.
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Your rebuttal sounds like some high school lunchroom nonsense to me
Oh, that's really rich.
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I'm going to lock this thread and just let it die out. This particular comment convinced me there's no good to be gotten from reading or adding to this thread:
"And I now say this with anger, in 10-15 years the earth will be better off without some of these hateful ppl."
Even in anger that's awfully harsh.