10 days........(and counting)

[triniclover]

Growing up with my grandmother in the Caribbean was priceless,i think i was privy to every adage by the age of five,the one that gave me most comfort though was"God dosen't give you more than you can bear".
I started getting sick in October and we found out i was pregnant,we we're glad but...............it was impossible to work and as much as we tried my husband couldn't do it alone,by November 3rd we had an eviction notice,no cable,an empty pantry......I was on my knees praying daily,i consoled myself with the fact that it just can't get any worse(lol...BS).My OB/GYN called on the 20th he wanted us to come in,i instinctively knew something was wrong,but HIV..................never!I felt cold,numb,sick.
My husband accused them of mixing up the blood samples,we both got prescribtions for furthur tests,we haven't gone yet,i don't want to go alone,he's acting as if it dosen't exist,that is after he tried to kill himself that night,he's drinking not to deal with it...........me,i'm just scared and confused.
He can't function on his job so he told them we found out i had "cancer".I told my mom the truth and for the first time in my life she's being a mother.
He said he was sorry,cause i never cheated and of that he is sure,strange enough of all the emotions right now blame and hate isn't in there all i know is that i love my husband very much and i need "us" to get through this.

[Ann]

Hi Trini,

Whoa, slow down! You need to go have that second test done because pregnant women sometimes have false positives on hiv tests. This might all be a false alarm. Unless they've already confirmed your positive result with what's called a Western Blot, then you still have some hope.

If your husband won't go with you to see the doctor again, then please, go alone or see if your mom will go with you. Either way, you need to go. If you are indeed positive you will need to begin to accept it for your baby's sake. With the drugs available today, your baby stands an excellent chance of being born hiv negative, but you need to work closely with your doctor.

Hang in there hun, even if it turns out that you are hiv positive, there is still plenty of hope. Let us know if your positive result has been confirmed through further testing and we can go from there. OK? You're going to be alright, really you are.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx

[triniclover]

Thanks for thegrain of hope ann...........we both got tested yesterday,my next appointment is on the 21st so i'll let you know how it went.I really appreciate the support.
Trini.

[Queen Tokelove]

Trini,

Sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time right now. Congrats on the baby! I'm also glad that your hubby decided to go with you and get the test done. This is a great place for support and a great bunch of people. I will keep you and your hubby in my prayers and do let us know how it goes......

[Eldon]

Hello Trini,

My thoughts and prayers are with you to get through this situation that you are in right now. Hold on and keep the faith.

[triniclover]

Thanks for the support guys.................good and bad news,my numbers were great cd4-420.v/l 269 but i was dx with cervical cancer also they haven't made a decision on the course of action yet,i'll keep u updated.
My husband's  test came back neg.needless to say his attitude did a 360,but i have a great doctor and i started meds this morning...6 a day-Kaletra and Combivir.
Lately i've been thinking about who best to take care of my kids if i should go....i couldn't come up with anyone so i guess i'm going to be around for a very long time. .

[Ihavehope]

Hi Trini

First of all take a deep breathe. You are going the a very difficult time in your life and you should really seek counseling or a support group. Surround yourself with people who you know care about you and do some research. You will find that scientist are working 24 hours a day 365 days a year worldwide to find better treatments and a cure. Even Bill Gates donated a huge amount of money to speed the process up to find vaccine and cures. You must also not blame yourself for this and not think too much about the future because if the cure/better treatment is found soon you would have wasted alot of time Depressed and Angry.

You will be fine, it just takes time to sink all this in. Patience and Hope are the two elements us Poz people must aquire.

[Andy Velez]

Trini, it sounds like you have a lot to handle right now.

Remember that you're welcome here to discuss anything you want to as well as to ask questions. 

Cheers,

[skeebo1969]

    Trini,

        Try not to stress too much because at this point it will do you no good.  I know this is easier said than done.   You  are in my thoughts and prayers.   

    Thomas