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Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: twofires on January 19, 2007, 07:39:16 pm

Title: My Week in Hell
Post by: twofires on January 19, 2007, 07:39:16 pm
first, I want to say thank you everyone for the nice thoughts

secondly, anyone who took umbrage at my posts, please know I was beside myself with frustration and anger - if the anger semed directed it may have been beacuse I felt I was being misunderstood, even within this circle. I was simply unable to state in short sweet sentences what the hell it was I wanted, instead most likely I just wanted vent space, if you know what I mean

Thirdly, here is what the local papers have to say about Georgia's Mental Health Hospitals, somewhere in here it will say Ga. ranks 44 out of the 50 states, and gets a grade of D but at the moment I can't find that direct link....

Fourth: I am today no better eqiuped to deal with stress than last Thrusday when I was taken in for a so-called 72-hour observation period. Unhappily, that 72 hours did not actually start until the doctors came back to work on Tuesday after a nice long weekend. In the meatime I was pumped up with all kinds of anti-psychotics after a 5 minute "consult" done at 3am last week Friday.

http://www.ajc.com/search/content/meshmental0118b.html (http://www.ajc.com/search/content/meshmental0118b.html)
The National Alliance on Mental Illness, a consumer advocacy group, Wednesday asked the U.S. Justice Department to investigate what it called "unacceptable and intolerable" conditions in Georgia's seven state mental hospitals.

http://www.ajc.com/search/content/health/stories/2007/01/04/0107meshabout.html (http://www.ajc.com/search/content/health/stories/2007/01/04/0107meshabout.html)
The Georgia Department of Human Resources, which operates the seven state hospitals, refused to identify any current or past patients, including the 364 who have died in state custody in the past five years.

http://www.ajc.com/health/content/health/stories/hiddenshame.html (http://www.ajc.com/health/content/health/stories/hiddenshame.html)
...was one of at least 115 patients from Georgia's state psychiatric hospitals who have died under suspicious circumstances during the past five years, according to an investigation by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. The newspaper assembled a list of questionable deaths by examining state and federal inspection reports, a database of vital records, autopsies, medical files, court papers, state insurance claims and other documents.

This study revealed a pattern of neglect, abuse and poor medical care in the seven state hospitals, as well as a lack of public accountability for patient deaths. The findings for 2002 through late 2006 -- from employees beating patients with aluminum pipes to doctors widely prescribing sedatives just to maintain order -- evoke images from the mid-20th century at the state hospital in Milledgeville. There, thousands of patients lived and died amid horrific conditions that became synonymous across the nation with mistreatment of people with mental illness.


Title: Re: My Week in Hell
Post by: Eldon on January 19, 2007, 07:47:28 pm
Two: It is good to hear that you are doing well. I do agree that handing out sedatives like they are candy in order to control the situation rather than addressing the real cause, leaves a wide open space for one to think if they really want to resolve or just put a band-aid on the situation.

From my past experience, there was something "a cause" that triggered my anger, anxiety, and my depression. As a result, I found out what that "cause" was and I made the necessary adjustments in my life in order to eliminate the "cause".

I am sending you my best wishes for you to get through this and you will because it is witthin you to do so.

"What Can I do today to make a better Tomorrow?"
Title: Re: My Week in Hell
Post by: twofires on January 19, 2007, 07:58:02 pm
i am afraid that part of The Cause, in my case, was the persistent demanding from some here, especially demands written in Gigantic Fonts demanding I tell you what I wanted from you

This screaming just made me all the more frsutrated and angry...
Title: Re: My Week in Hell
Post by: Eldon on January 19, 2007, 08:27:31 pm
Two: The CAPS and the Large fonts is definitely a cause which resorted to an effect. I feel the same when it comes to this type of presentation just as well.


"What Can I do today to make a better Tomorrow?"
Title: Re: My Week in Hell
Post by: Boo Radley on January 19, 2007, 08:32:37 pm
patrick,

I'm glad you're back home, out of the hands of the "authorities," but sorry to hear your situation is virtually the same.  Public mental health is a horrendous joke in most states (I bet Louisiana is below Georgia on the scale you mentioned) and is so underfunded as to be more detrimental than beneficial.   

Your frustration and anger were very clear to me but it's almost impossible to say anything really helpful in such a situation and platitudes and "best wishes" are a very weak second best. 

I hope you realize there are people here who care and sincerely hope your situation improves.  We can only offer words of support, unfortunately, but I hope you see some posts as positive if not actually helpful.  Please vent as much as you need to.  Many of us have been in similar circumstances at some point in our lives.  I know I have.

Rob
Title: Re: My Week in Hell
Post by: Dachshund on January 19, 2007, 09:07:19 pm
Twofires believe me when I say there were many on site who recognized you were dealing with more than strangers on a website could help you with. I regret that too often the prescription is to make it all about ourselves and hand out nonsensical advice. Your obvious frustration was evident. All I can say is I am sorry for what you are enduring, and difficult as it may be, I hope you find some relief.
I do want to commend the mod's for recognizing your pain and handling the situation with grace.

Be better,
Hal
Title: Re: My Week in Hell
Post by: ACinKC on January 19, 2007, 09:48:44 pm
Two, glad your back man.  Im sorry to hear about the sad state of affairs down there!  I am doing everything I can to send you positive vibes!  Good luck man and anytime you need to vent I am here!
Title: Re: My Week in Hell
Post by: emeraldize on January 19, 2007, 11:45:32 pm
Welcome back. Glad you're out. Psych wards and the like are among some of the least health-inducing environs going.  As my mom would say " Things will get better." And, she's been right many more times than I.  I pass it along with my wishes for your improved health at every level possible.
Title: Re: My Week in Hell
Post by: twofires on January 19, 2007, 11:58:01 pm
http://www.ajc.com/health/content/health/stories/2007/01/04/0107meshabout.html

I am getting settled back in and writing about my strange week.

You know of course who Kurt Vonnegut is? Well, he has a son, Mark, who wrote a book, The Eden Express about his dip into madness and experiences with mental hospitals....http://www.amazon.com/Eden-Express-Memoir-Insanity/dp/1583225439/sr=8-1/qid=1169265218/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-2737588-4556025?ie=UTF8&s=books (http://www.amazon.com/Eden-Express-Memoir-Insanity/dp/1583225439/sr=8-1/qid=1169265218/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-2737588-4556025?ie=UTF8&s=books)

me, I just wanted a script for zoloft for seasonal depression (who doesn't have it?), and then everything kind of went sideways. It kicked off with the Georgia Crisis Intervention Hotline hanging up on me for swearing too much. The tale centers around a week long "72 hour" observation period at East Central Georgia Regional Hospital in Augusta (the 3 day weekend didn't count); the funnest part is when they lost my drivers license, 2 visa cards, cellphone & house/car keys. Their food was routinely cold, my lactose-free diet platter usually had a pad of butter and pint-o-milk while they withheld my cake with frosting. Then there's mixing my HIV and GERD meds which I told them NOT to (one cancels the other out), and instead I get pegged for "refusing my meds". The daily crazy fights, with blood, in the filthy dorm unit. Or the white knuckle, 90-mile per hour ride on I-20 with one of us "consumers" having a gran mal seizure not once but 3x in a van with unbalanced rear tires. Followed by the more leisurely 80 mph ride to Athens after dropping seizure boy at the ER in Greenville(sp?) You know how people grab the hanging thingies when standing, riding buses or subways, I was holding dead serious onto every strap in the van I could. Yet I still had to cab it back to the house from the Athens clinic that Baker Acted me in the first place, cost me thirteen bucks. Oh and I forgot the 6 hours in 4-point restraints at Athens General Hospital and being catheterised cause I couldn't "Tee Tee" for them as the ancient security guard commanded. - I'll tell you bondage is highly over rated.

Tip of the iceberg. I'm telling ya.

A week of utter insanity.

Georgia ranks 44 out of the 50 states in operations at mental health hospitals, and gets a grade of D overall This is the first in a series of reports on Georgia's system of state psychiatric hospitals, focusing on the suspicious deaths of 115 patients. Future articles will look at patient abuse, escapes and inadequate planning for the treatment of discharged patients.http://www.ajc.com/health/content/health/stories/2007/01/04/0107meshabout.html
 (http://www.ajc.com/health/content/health/stories/2007/01/04/0107meshabout.html)
Title: Re: My Week in Hell
Post by: Robert on January 19, 2007, 11:58:44 pm
 Well, I'm glad that Lisa was able to help you.  Lisa is everything that is good about this place all rolled into one.

Title: Re: My Week in Hell
Post by: twofires on January 20, 2007, 12:01:37 am
Lisa was great to talk with, I only rue the fact I pay minutes on my cell phone so I kinda hate to talk really....
Title: Re: My Week in Hell
Post by: joemutt on January 20, 2007, 12:02:59 am
I'm glad you made it through, I recognise it too well from before in my life.
Wish you well.
Title: Re: My Week in Hell
Post by: Christine on January 20, 2007, 05:13:05 pm
Hi twofires,
I am sorry it was so horrible. When you need to vent, we are here.
Christine
Title: Re: My Week in Hell
Post by: lydgate on January 20, 2007, 05:21:12 pm
Wow, Patrick... that is one incredibly shitty week. Very sorry my friend. But things seem to be getting a little better, I hope. As others have said, when you need to talk about your frustrations, we're here to listen. Really and truly.

I've had depression since the age of 10. If you want to talk about your meds and diagnosis and treatment etc feel free to PM me.

Jay