POZ Community Forums

Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Sinsation on June 25, 2006, 03:29:05 am

Title: The Ups and Downs of how to tell someone that your poz.
Post by: Sinsation on June 25, 2006, 03:29:05 am

I'm newly diagnosed as of April and though I know that telling someone that your poz is important, I would like to know what thoughts anyone may have on the when, if and the how of telling someone that your poz if your considering being more than just friends.

Thanks for any suggestions,
Steve

Title: Re: The Ups and Downs of how to tell someone that your poz.
Post by: Matty the Damned on June 25, 2006, 03:34:31 am

Hey Steve! Welcome to the forums.

Disclosure is always complex issue. I presume you mean revealing to a potential sexual partner that you're HIV positive. Well, whilst many of us around here often point out that negative people need to take responsibility for their own sexual health, an intimate relationship is based on trust.

Especially for serodiscordant couples.

If you're thinking of becoming emotionally and sexually involved with someone else, then you should certainly discuss your serostaus with him/her.

MtD
(Who thinks your avatar is very cute)

Title: Re: The Ups and Downs of how to tell someone that your poz.
Post by: DingoBoi on June 25, 2006, 04:06:05 am

a good place to start is the lessons on disclosure here http://www.aidsmeds.com/lessons/Disclosure1.htm

while it won't answer moral questions... or legal ones, it's a good place to start.

Title: Re: The Ups and Downs of how to tell someone that your poz.
Post by: J.R.E. on June 25, 2006, 07:13:55 am

Hello Steve,

If you are thinking of becoming more then "just friends" Then I highly suggest, that you inform this person of your status. This person can react to you telling him in, several differant ways !! It's not an easy thing to do, but I feel that it is something that you will need to discuss, before things get serious, and the sooner the better.There can be many differant situations that may arise, after you inform, so be aware of that also.



Take care-----Ray

Title: Re: The Ups and Downs of how to tell someone that your poz.
Post by: Andy Velez on June 25, 2006, 10:09:08 am

Hi Steve,

How about filling us in a little more about the current situation in which you're considering whether to disclose  your status. What's gone on so far in the relationship? etc.

Talking it out may help to clarify what's the right move for you.

Cheers,

Title: Re: The Ups and Downs of how to tell someone that your poz.
Post by: DanielMark on June 25, 2006, 10:28:15 am

Hi Steve,

Unless you feel deep down that you're prepared for the reaction to your news either way, I would recommend waiting till you are sure you can handle it. Two or three months into this, you have a lot to process - mentally, and emotionally. Don't be too eager to ask too much of yourself too soon.

Hopefully, if it's loved ones you're planning to tell they can be supportive of you. If it's someone new on the romance front, I'd definitely discuss HIV before getting intimate. To me it’s the only fair (not to mention legal) way to approach it. For both your sakes.

Daniel

Title: Re: The Ups and Downs of how to tell someone that your poz.
Post by: CalvinC on June 25, 2006, 12:25:23 pm

Steve:

I've had nothing but excellent responses from those I have told, so I guess I'm lucky.

I suppose that you need to consider who counts as important. I told one friend the first weekend after I tested poz, and then I wish I hadn't.  So I had to backtrack and make sure he would keep things confidential.
So, to avoid this, give yourself enough time. The diagnosis isn't going away, so there's no rush. Take care of yourself first.

Andrew

Title: Re: The Ups and Downs of how to tell someone that your poz.
Post by: Sinsation on June 26, 2006, 01:36:31 am

Thanks guys. Your comments and suggestions have put it into perspective for me. As far as my particular situation: I'm dating here and there but nothing has come of anything serious or intimate to warrant reaveling my status. If you can share any stories that may help in this matter, that would be great as well. Much appreciation to all.

Steve