POZ Community Forums

HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: stressed1 on August 31, 2007, 05:55:29 am

Title: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on August 31, 2007, 05:55:29 am
good morning,
I am extremely worried and stressed.

11 weeks ago, I foolishly performed oral sex on an amsterdam prostitute, I also had protected sex.
Approximately 2 weeks after the incident I had a sore throat with swollen tonsills and a head ache, this lasted for approx 1 week. I also had severe back and neck pain that continued for approx 5-6 weeks.
Earlier this week I woke up thith a sore throat in which my tonsills again became swollen and also white, that night I had a slight temperature and an aching body, It looked like possibly tonsillitis. From what I have read on this site and from other stories you state that oral sex is zero risk. As I have never had tonsillitis before and I am now 27, I cannot understand these symptoms. I know that you never rely on symptoms on this site, but In you opinion is it possible that tonsillitis could be the early sign of hiv after 11 weeks.

Many thanks in advance for the advice and help

Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on August 31, 2007, 06:23:17 am
stressed,

Going down on a woman is NOT a risk for hiv.

However, it is possible you picked up some other infection in your throat - such as gonorrhea. You're going to have to see a doctor and get your throat swabbed for gono and probably strep too.

Whatever is going on, it's got nothing to do with hiv as you did not have a risk.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on August 31, 2007, 06:30:14 am
Hello Ann,
Thankyou for your reply. I have been tested already for gonorreah and clamydia, and I am negative. I just cant get it out of my head that it might possibly be an early sign of hiv. Have you ever heard of anyone to have tonsilitus as an early sign? I am due a blood test next week.

Regards,
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on August 31, 2007, 06:50:20 am
stressed,

Was it your throat they tested, or your penis? Did you have a throat swab?

No, tonsilitis is NOT an "early sign". It's a sign you have infected tonsils, nothing more, nothing less. Just because it never happened before doesn't mean it's a big deal it happened now.

I happen to know you've been reading the cunnilingus threads since June - and I'm telling you now that we are not going to say anything that hasn't already been said in all those posts you looked at - cunnilingus is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

If you want a detailed explanation of WHY this is so, read this post. (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=14781.msg185888#msg185888) Do NOT post in that thread or that forum though, it is for positive women ONLY. Keep any additional questions or comments in THIS thread ONLY.

You didn't have a risk. See your doctor to find out what is REALLY going on.

Ann
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on August 31, 2007, 08:43:59 am
Hello Ann,
I gave a urine sample and a swab on my penis and throat. The tests came back negative. This was done after about 5 weeks, after I had my first sore throat. I have been very stressed since my incident and have constantly got worried over every little symptom. I really value your advise, but like everyone who is worrying and stressed you can easily believe the worst. I have done a lot of research, but most sites say there is a minimal risk, and some say that tonnsilitis could be an early sign of hiv.

Like most people I will only be happy when I recieve my hopefully negative results

Regards
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Andy Velez on August 31, 2007, 08:58:48 am
Fortunately in this case feelings are not facts. You may have whatever feelings you do and you have tonsilitis and anything else. All of that does not add up to any sound basis in HIV science to think you have become infected with HIV.

Testing negative is going to be a slam dunk. Your worrying -- well that's another matter.
I've noticed that often when sex has been with a professional there seems to be a greater amount of anxiety when actually sex workers generally take very good care of themselves in terms of protection because they want to stay healthy. Just saying...

Cheers,
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on August 31, 2007, 09:01:13 am
Stressed,

If a test result is the only thing that will put your mind at rest, then test. Don't be surprised when the result is negative.

As a sexually active adult, you should be having full sexual health care check-ups, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

Although you do not need to test over this specific incident, if you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Going down on a woman is not a risk for hiv infection. Did you read the post I referred you to above? Read it and find out why this activity is not a risk.

Ann
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on August 31, 2007, 09:07:09 am
Hello Ann,
I have read your post, and I have no doubt that this is correct. but I cannot get away from my stress and worry.

Please explain why most sites and even the nhs say that oral sex is a "less risk" activity. And I have read on some sites that tonsillitis can be an early symptom.

My stress have eased a little since reading your replys

Many thanks
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on August 31, 2007, 09:23:49 am
stressed,

I cannot answer for "other sites", I can only answer for the replies I write.

You have to remember that many "other sites" have religious/moral agendas. The CDC has to toe the Bush Administration line on issues of a sexual nature. Many sites also err on the side of caution and some sites simply do not do their homework. We don't deal in moralistic judgements here, we deal in facts.

I base my replies on my understanding of first-tier, peer-review studies and articles as published in scientific/medical journals which are recognised the world over. I discuss my work here at the hiv clinic I go to and I also talk to people like Tim Horn* and Andy Velez*. I also base my replies on my real-life experience of being hiv positive for ten years. I don't just talk the talk, I walk the walk too.

You can stress over this as much as you like, but the science will not change.

Ann

*If you want to know more about them, go the the About Us page of this website. You'll find a link in the upper left hand corner of any forum page.
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on August 31, 2007, 09:30:42 am
hello ann,
I have no doubt at all the you are 100% educated with everything that you stat. Just one last question, have you ever seen or heard of tonsillitis as an early sign of hiv, and why would other sights say that it could be a possible symptom.

Many thanks for your help, it really is appriciated

Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on August 31, 2007, 10:05:27 am
stressed,

No, I've never seen tonsilitis listed as an hiv seroconversion symptom or heard of it being either.

Symptoms, or even the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv infection. The ONLY way to know your status is to test.

We base our assesments on what behaviour a person has engaged in, not on what symptoms are being experienced. If you've never had unprotected intercourse with anyone or shared needles, you haven't been at risk.

While you don't need to test over this specific incident, if your a sexually active adult you should be testing at least yearly anyway. If you have doubts about your status, then test. Simple as that.

Ann
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on August 31, 2007, 10:15:03 am
Hello Ann,
Thank you for all of you advise, it has been really helpful. I am due to be tested next week, I will let you know how i get on.

have a good weekend

many thanks

Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 03, 2007, 06:13:41 am
Good morining,
Thanks to your advise I have had a fairly stress free weekend. This morning I have been and given my blood sample for testing. The nurse said that she didnt expect any problems, but did say that there was a small risk.
This had again incresed my stress levels, I can collect my results next tuesday, hopefully it will be good news.

Regards
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 03, 2007, 06:33:46 am
Stressed,

Irrespective of what the nurse told you about a "small risk" HIV is simply not transmitted via cunnilingus. Look forward to collecting a negative result next Tuesday.

MtD
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 04, 2007, 05:27:19 am
good morning,
it has been 1 week since my test, and another week to wait until my appointment for my results! I dont think that i can wait another week. Do you think that it is likely that an nhs gum clinic would have the results back after 1 week? I hope i test negative, the wait is getting too much.
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on September 04, 2007, 05:51:57 am
stressed,

Why don't you ring the clinic and find out yourself?

Ann
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 04, 2007, 05:55:27 am
Hello Ann,
I already have this morning, they are closed until this afternoon, I will try again later. I just wanted your opinion if usually they would have results after 1 week.
When I had the test they informed me that they ould only contact me if there was any problems

Regards,
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on September 04, 2007, 06:00:20 am
stressed,

There is no way for us to know when your clinic will have your results. It can take anywhere from 24 hours to two weeks.

And remember, you didn't have a risk in the first place.

Ann
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 04, 2007, 08:47:19 am
Hello,
I telephones the Clinic, but thay wouldnt give any indication as to if they had my results or not. All they said was that it could take up too two weeks to get the results and they would contact me if there are any problems.

The clinic is a walk in clinic, do you think it would be ok to call in to see if they had my results, or should I wait for the appointment next week
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Andy Velez on September 04, 2007, 09:40:33 am
We can't advise you on the politics of how your clinic functions.

What I can tell you is that since you know you have an appointment next week, in the meantime get productively busy in your life and the waiting time will pass much faster than you may imagine possible.

Good luck with your test result.

Cheers,
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 05, 2007, 04:43:39 am
Hello Ann,
I have just recieved my results back, as you and the rest of the team stated, everything is negative!
I feel like a massive weight has lifted off my shoulders.

Thank you very much for all of your advise, it really did help calm my nerves.

I hope that I never have to go through anything like this again.

Again, thank you very much

Regards
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on September 05, 2007, 04:50:54 am
stressed,

You're welcome.

Remember to use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will continue to avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Title: worried
Post by: stressed1 on October 19, 2009, 07:24:09 am
good morning, I am slightly worried,
3 weeks ago I had protected oral, vaginal and anal sex with a sex worker, At the start of last week I woke up with a sore throat and headache, and during the day I had a temperature and body aches, lasting 24h, My sore throat and head ache have lasted most of the week.

Please could you clarify, could sore throat, head ache, body aches and temperature be and early sign of HIV, or would a rash also be usually present, also would 2 weeks be the correct time scale for symptoms

do you think i need testing or are my symptoms just a coincidence?

Please help

Thanks

Title: Re: worried
Post by: Andy Velez on October 19, 2009, 07:58:06 am
Nothing you did put you at risk for HIV transmission. You used a condom which is exactly what you are always supposed to do when having either vaginal or anal intercourse.

If your symptoms persist you should discuss them with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV.

Keep using those condoms. They do the job very effectively.
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on October 19, 2009, 08:00:41 am
thank you for your reply, just to put my mind at rest, do my symptoms potentially sound like early hiv, or would they be different?

thanks
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on October 19, 2009, 08:02:23 am
stressed,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread. It doesn't matter how much time has passed since you last posted in your original thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.



I agree with Andy that nothing you did put you at risk for hiv infection.

It's cold and flu season. I'm in the UK and I've just gotten over a bug with the same exact symptoms as yours. Sometimes a cold is just a cold. Most of the time, in fact.

Ann
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on October 19, 2009, 08:06:58 am
thank you for your reply, just to put my mind at rest, do my symptoms potentially sound like early hiv, or would they be different?

thanks
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on October 19, 2009, 08:09:24 am
Stressed,

Your symptoms are in no way hiv specific. And why would they be? You did NOT have a risk for infection!

Ann
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Andy Velez on October 19, 2009, 08:10:53 am
Neither the presence nor absence of any particular symptoms is ever the way to reliably know your HIV status. If you have had a genuine risk such specifically as unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse, the ONLY way to know your status with an HIV test at 13 weeks past the most recent risk.

Fortunatelly you did not put yourself at risk so there is no need for testing. If your symptoms persist you should discuss them with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV.

Cheers.
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on October 19, 2009, 08:25:10 am
thanks you for your replies, very much appreciated!

this is an brilliant site, full of up to date, reliable information, the internet has a lot of info regarding hiv, but a lot of it doesn't seem to be correct

my final question, I have been searching the internet, and again lots of different answers, Could you offer your opinion/ knowledge regarding ARS, what are the typical/average symptoms, how bad would they be and what would be the time scale

many thanks,
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on October 19, 2009, 08:33:13 am
stressed,

There are no "typical" or "average" ARS symptoms. They're very general and flu-like and the severity will vary from person to person. Some people never even experience symptoms of ARS even though they've been infected. This is why we do not discuss symptoms here - symptoms or even the LACK of symptoms are meaningless when it comes to diagnosing hiv. ONLY testing will reliably reveal your hiv status. If we were to put any emphasis on symptoms, people who have actually had a risk but have had no symptoms might feel they have no need to get tested.

One more time, you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection. If you feel unwell, go see a doctor. Whatever is going on has NOTHING to do with hiv as you had NO RISK.

If you read the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned.

Ann
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on October 19, 2009, 08:44:43 am
i am sorry, I dodnt mean to offend.

Many thanks for your advise

Regards
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on October 26, 2009, 10:00:34 am
good afternoon,
Please can you answer, I am continuing to feel worried, Can you try to expalin what swollen lymph nodes would feel like in groin, My groin is aching on both sides, it feels kind of like a pulled muscle, a kind of dull ache.
my under arms also feel similar



i think i am just stressing, but would like some reasurrance

thanks
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Andy Velez on October 26, 2009, 11:04:29 am
Swollen lymph nodes are absolutely not an HIV-specific occurrence. Keep your hands off of them before you create a real problem. Discuss them with your doctor.

Whatever is going on has nothing to do with HIV. And you don't have an HIV problem no matter what your mind is telling you otherwise.

If you come back here again expecting us to indulge you everytime you have another burst of fear, you're getting a 28 day Time Out.
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on November 02, 2009, 09:36:25 am
Thank you for your replys, they have helped calmed my fears

I have looked at other sites, who claim that even protected sex is not 100% efficient? are these sites being conservative or just not educated? there is a lot of info on the internet, a lot of mis information

Finally, you have stated that enlarged lymph nodes is not a regular early HIV occurrence, most information on the internet states that it could be? If my lymph nodes where enlarged, what would they feel like??

Please reply as I am trying to enducate myself with correct information

thanks in advance
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: RapidRod on November 02, 2009, 09:47:03 am
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Andy Velez on November 02, 2009, 09:52:52 am
Frankly, we're not interested in what you find on other sites and from other sources. We give you the real deal here and you can accept it or not.

It is true that nothing other than sex with your own hand is going to be 100% safe. But we do know from long experience and science-grounded studies that if you consistently use condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse you will be well protected against the sexual transmission of HIV. It really is just as simple as that.

Like many other symptoms which may occur with ARS, swollen lymph nodes are not an HIV-specific occurence. They happen for lots of reasons. So the presence or the absence of symptoms is never a reliable means of knowing your HIV status. The ONLY absolutely reliable way to know your status is by having an HIV test. And a negative test result at 13 weeks after a possibly risky incident will give you a conclusive, reliable result.

I can also assure you that if you continue to search other websites and sources you absolutely will continue to find factoids and incorrect information to feed your worst fears. You can indulge yourself in that mistaken quest if you want to. I can tell you that we're not going to endlessly respond and participate with you. You did not have a risk and you need to get on with your life.
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 21, 2010, 04:00:54 am
good morning, I said I would never get into this situation again, but here I am, 1 week again I was drunk and in a lap dancing bar, the girl was naked, for a very short tiem, 20 seconds max, i gave her oral sex

am  i at risk, as ususal my mind is driving me mad, i have had a sore thoart previously to ths that seems to have come back, i have had a head ache since, Probably due to worrying

Title: Re: very worried
Post by: jkinatl2 on September 21, 2010, 04:21:02 am
As you certainly know after reading our LESSONS page, performing oral sex on a female is not considered a risk for HIV.

Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on September 21, 2010, 04:29:33 am
Stressed,

You first came to us just over three years ago with the same concern about going down on a woman. I suggest you re-read your entire thread because our answers are not going to change.

Don't even think about continually posting over this latest no-risk worry of yours. You'll quickly be given that time out you've been warned about in the past.

PLEASE CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!!!

Ann
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 21, 2010, 04:33:10 am
Hello Ann, Thank you for your reply, as I am sure you can imagine, stress can cause you all kinds of worry

I appriciate your answers, thansk for yur help
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 21, 2010, 08:06:45 am
your web site and advise seems to be the best on the interet, like you have stated on previous posts, if you look hard enough you can find lots of scary stories

I would just like to ask, here in the UK , even the NHS states that oral has a risk of HIV, are they just not upto date or just cautious?
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Andy Velez on September 21, 2010, 08:26:32 am
we're not responsible for what other sites and sources may put out.

Your questions about oral sex have already been answered thoroughly. Any sex other than with your own hand can theoretically entail some risk. But in the real world of HIV we know that sexual risk for HIV is about unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse.

Let go of this unwarranted concern and get on with your life...and always using condoms for intercourse.
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on September 21, 2010, 08:27:43 am
Stressed,

I'm also in the UK. The NHS is just covering their ass. Who knows why.

I was with a negative man for over eight years. We often had oral both ways and yet he remained hiv negative. The only thing we needed to do to protect his negative hiv status was for him to use condoms for intercourse. Same goes for you.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 21, 2010, 08:31:49 am
andy and ann, thank you very much for taking time to read and reply to my posts, this is a great forum!

you are both very knowlegeable and helpful without being judgemental

thanks


Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Andy Velez on September 21, 2010, 09:13:29 am
You're welcome. Now really, get on with your life.
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 22, 2010, 11:23:58 am
just one more question, how common or possible is it for me to catch an STD from perfroming oral on a women, I have read that oral on a women is also a low risk for all stds

any advise would be greatly appriciated

Thanks
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on September 22, 2010, 11:50:47 am
stressed,

You could get herpes very easily. Possibly gonorrhea and chlamydia, but unlikely.

But this is an hiv site only. You didn't have a risk for hiv.

Ann
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 22, 2010, 11:53:56 am
i appriciate that this is a HIV site, but you personally seem so educated on sexual health unlike a lot of other sites

again thanks for your answer, you have put my mind at rest

thansk again
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 28, 2010, 08:31:19 am
hello, so would I be right in saying that I am 100% ok to have unprotected sex with my wife?
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: RapidRod on September 28, 2010, 09:02:31 am
hello, so would I be right in saying that I am 100% ok to have unprotected sex with my wife?
As far as HIV goes, yes.
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 28, 2010, 09:17:57 am
from what i have reasearched, the sanfransisco Health authroity, list only Herpes as a possible risk for giving a women oral sex and they list that as rare
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 28, 2010, 05:11:07 pm
and just one final point, when it make any difference if i had a sore throat at the time of performing oral sex??

Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Matty the Damned on September 28, 2010, 05:15:24 pm
and just one final point, when it make any difference if i had a sore throat at the time of performing oral sex??

No.

MtD
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: stressed1 on September 29, 2010, 07:02:40 am
Ann, could you please offer you opinion, would it make any differece if i had a sore thrat at the time of performing oral

also have you seen the risk chart complined by the sanfrancisco health department
they have herpes as the only risk when performing oral on a women but rare

thanks in advance for your reply
Title: Re: very worried
Post by: Ann on September 29, 2010, 07:20:12 am
Stressed,

This is getting ridiculous. How many times do you need to be told that going down on a woman isn't a risk for hiv infection? If there were factors that changed this, don't you think we would say so? Give me a break already.

I warned you last week that if you kept coming back with this issue, you'd be given a time out. You've posted a further nine times now.

I'm giving you that time out. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann