High risk is driving me insane, just need some support before testing

[Bobby24]

Okay... here's the situation.  Three years ago on a vacation to Brazil i met a prostitute in an upper scale club.  We "fell in love" and I spent the week with her down there.  During the week I'd say we had sex seven or eight times, using a condom less than half the times.  I was young, stupid, and just over taken by the romance of it all that I stupidly ignored the risk of unprotected vaginal in relation to HIV.  What also scares me is that during sex one time she fingered my anus ffter wetting it with her vaginal fluids.  The next morning there was blood on the toilet paper. 

I am a pretty big hypochondriac to begin with so I think I kind of shut the incident away and ignored it.  Never got tested.  Last year I began getting occasional panic attacks regarding the incidents.  After a couple of pesky sore throats last winter I began looking up symptoms of HIV.  Sure enough I soon had them all.  I'm not sure what the common symtoms are two years later but I've had everything from gland pain, to anal abscess, gingivitis... granted these are all things that can happen to anyone regardless of HIV but I am in constant and complete state of fear and anxiety.

I think it is because I've been dating a girl I am into.  Before I began educating myself on HIV i slept with her about four times unprotected.  I know she was negative.  I always pulled out.  After educating myself on the real risk of precum and the fact that I had some symptoms I have been steadily using a condom, although during oral I ejaculated in her mouth once or twice. 

I've talked to her and we are both going to get tested... but here is my problem and dilemma.

1.  I do not have health insurance.  I am afraid if I go to a clinic and test positive I will be put on a list and denied health insurance.  Does anyone have any experience with this?  If I do test positive I will surely need it.

2.  I'm just scared out of my mind to get tested.  I know that I have to to, but everytime I think about it I have a severe panic attack.

3.  I ordered a home testing kit to stay annoumous, but I'm not sure that I will have the guts to make the phone call, nor am I sure I would want to hear the results over the phone.

Im sorry this is long... im just losing my mind right now.  I thank everyone who responds and wish everyone on this site the best, healthies, happiest New Year!! 

[RapidRod]

So far in what you said your symptoms have nothing to do with HIV. Symptoms if you have them are 2-4 weeks post exposure and last 1-2 weeks. Symptoms are in no way, a way to diagnosis HIV. Only an HIV test can do that. You will need to test 13 weeks past your last unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse that you have had with this new girl to get a correct result. Have her go with you too and be tested at the same time. We can tell you your risk. We can tell if you need to test or not, but it is up to you to go take the test and get the results.

[Coffeechick88]

Are you from the US?  HIV + does not  mean no health insurance--you can still go under the group plan offered by an employer--I would go under a larger employer.  There is no 'DO NOT INSURE' list floating around--the result goes to the health department, not to all the insurance companies of the nation.  I am positive and have insurance through my employer, including meds.  Anyhow, options are not closed.  But you do not know your status, so you may never have to even worry about this.

Anyhow, that is really getting ahead of things since you do not even know if you are positive or negative.  As Rod said, test 13 weeks after the last unprotected incident.  Take the girl with you.  The symptoms are not worrisome for HIV, but still they do not diagnose and a test still must be taken.

Yes, you are scared to get tested and get a test result.  Look at it this way:  Would you rather be like some of the overly anxious, obsessive people who post on this board, who have no lives because of their fear and spend years in such a state and then years later find out you were negative and had nothing to worry about and wasted your life?  (Sorry for that run on)  Or if positive, would you rather find out years later in a hospital with 50 CD4 count and with PCP?  Or if positive would you rather live in ignorance and pass it to others?

You know what you have to do.  Would taking someone with you help you get the courage?  Such as that girl or family member or friend?

[Adonis]

Bobby24:

Although most of the posters on this board really know their stuff and are able to give you really good advice, you can't really put off that HIV test for your own peace of mind. Think of it this way, if you have HIV, then early discovery would give you plenty of strategies and options in order to enahce your health as much as possible. And if you test HIV negative, the negative test results will be a lot more comforting to you than any advice that anyone can give you.

[Adonis]

Yes, you are scared to get tested and get a test result.  Look at it this way:  Would you rather be like some of the overly anxious, obsessive people who post on this board, who have no lives because of their fear and spend years in such a state and then years later find out you were negative and had nothing to worry about and wasted your life?  (Sorry for that run on)  Or if positive, would you rather find out years later in a hospital with 50 CD4 count and with PCP?  Or if positive would you rather live in ignorance and pass it to others?

Good advice, but I think that Bobby24's fear is a natural one. Of course, denial doesn't help, but perhaps not everyone is able to deal with things head on as some may not be ready emotionally and psychologically to deal with a potential positive diagnosis.

[Ann]

Adonis,

You are in no position to be giving out advice on this forum. Please desist. Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann

[Bobby24]

From my earlier post you know I had some very risky unprotected vaginal sex with "working girls" down in brazil a couple years ago.  Since then all of my encounters have been protected.  I had never been tested.  Three years after my excapades in Brazil my body started acting weird. A couple Abscessed teeth, anal abscess, severe gingivitis,  feverless night sweats, swollen glands (unconfirmed)

After reaching an anxiety level i could no longer take, my current girlfriend and I (we had been using protection) went to a local planned parenthood and both took the oraquick oral rapid hiv1/2 test.  We both tested negative.

At this point I would like to begin having unprotected sex with her.  But I have read so much of false positives, I have a fear of a false negative.   

Is further testing warranted or would most of you agree that I can finally be past this point in my life and sleep with my girl monomously unprotected?

I would love to hear some opinions. 

[RapidRod]

You don't need any further testing you are negative. Do you want to give up condoms? Only if you want to start worrying yourself about a child.

[Andy Velez]

Bobby, it's good to know you finally got tested and received a happy result.

As long you both had your HIV tests done at 13 weeks or more after your most recent unprotected intercourse then those negative results are reliable.

However, unprotected sex is not something to be embarked upon lightly. Unless you are both absolutely commmitted to a securely monogamous relationship then you absolutely should continue using condoms.

There are alternative methods of birth control which can be used, but as far as HIV is concerned, condoms  are what works in non-monogamy situations.

[Bobby24]

thanks guys... we definately plan on birth control...  the test was done well beyond 3 months of last unprotected encounter.  I understand the risks of eliminating condoms-  it is just that I want to be 100% certain that i am negative before doing so.   If everyone agrees that the Oraquick oral rapid tests are only definitive when it comes to negatives then I am ready (well it will probably take some more time to lose this anxiety) But if anyone believes that to be more certain i should take a blood test then I will.   I appreciate the responses.  I guess my paranoia stems from reading that many test sites stop using the oral ones.  HAHA i always said i wouldnt be one of those people who dont trust the negative result.  and here i am.  Go figure