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Author Topic: Back again need help (I think I infected my gf)  (Read 4713 times)

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Offline rew

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Back again need help (I think I infected my gf)
« on: April 08, 2007, 04:51:50 am »
Hi everyone, I posted few years ago on aidsmeds. Everyone on the aidsmeds was very helpful to make me feel better about my situation. Thank you again.

My exposure was in 2003 (last week of august), I had unprotected vaginal sex with a girl I met in a bar. I had tested at 65th and 95th days after the exposure. They were both negative. I had lots of symtoms after my exposure, my symptoms contuniued even after my 95th day test. 

I tried to except the test results last 4 years. I was successful sometimes but recently I cant relax anymore because I made very big mistake again. I met my girlfirend 4months ago and we engaged in unprotected sex. And she now feels sick. I am scared that I infected her.  She is a very nice girl , we plan to get married but I feel I ruined her life. I feel very bad. I cant tell her anything. She says she feels tired and sleepy all the time. I dont know what to do. What do you guys suggest? Please help me.

Thank you...

Offline Ann

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Re: Back again need help (I think I infected my gf)
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2007, 05:18:12 am »
rew,

I guess you learned nothing in your previous time here.

Why are you having unprotected intercourse with this woman without testing together first? For all you know, she may have been hiv positive before you met her. You can't go by what someone says about their sexual history or how they look or what you think you know about them.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

You need to start using condoms NOW and you both need to test before you stop using condoms.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rew

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Re: Back again need help (I think I infected my gf)
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2007, 05:24:29 am »
Ann, do you think I infected her?

I never had unprotected sex after my exposure in 2003. I was tested negative at 65tgh and 95th days. But still have some symptoms. What do you think? I am very scared that I infected her. Thanks for you help.

Offline Ann

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Re: Back again need help (I think I infected my gf)
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2007, 06:50:16 am »
rew,

If you never had unprotected intercourse after your CONCLUSIVE negative test back in 2003, then no, you could not have infected her. But how do you know she hasn't infected YOU? As you didn't test together with her before you stopped using condoms, you have no way of knowing unless BOTH of you test. As I said above, you need to be using condoms, every time, NO exceptions until you have tested negative together.

Hiv doesn't just happen to sex workers, you know, it can happen to ANYONE who has unprotected intercourse. She's having unprotected with you and you have no real way of knowing if she has had unprotected with others. Again, you can't go by what someone tells you about their sexual history or what you or even they THINK they know about their sexual health. Lots of people ASSUME they are hiv negative when they're not.

The bottom line here is you BOTH need to test three months after your last unprotected incident with each other, and you need to be using condoms in the meantime.

Unprotected intercourse is unprotected intercourse and it is a risk for hiv infection unless you know without doubt that your partner is hiv negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rew

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Re: Back again need help (I think I infected my gf)
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2007, 06:59:05 am »
Ann, so  do you think the test done at 65th and 95th days after my exposure was good enough? How can we bu sure about it? I still have neck ache and fatigue. Thanks.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Back again need help (I think I infected my gf)
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2007, 07:11:32 am »
rew,

YES! You were conclusively hiv negative before you started having unprotected intercourse with your current girlfriend.

However, I don't seem to be getting through to you that you have put YOURSELF at risk AGAIN by having unprotected intercourse with your current girlfriend. You do NOT mention testing together WITH HER, so you do not know her status. For all you know, SHE may have been hiv positive BEFORE you met her.

You could not have infected her, as you were conclusively hiv negative before you met her. However, SHE may have infected YOU. Get it?

You need to start using condoms with her and you need to get yourself tested three months after your last unprotected encounter with her.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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