A question about re-infection...

[unluckylovely]

I have just started a new relationship and on my last count my cd4 was 1130 and vl 3600..my new partner is on treatment with an undetected vl.  What are my chances of being re-infected and becoming ill again rapidly? and what about my partner, can I make his vl increase?  The thing is he refuses to use a condom and he believes that he cant get a different strain cos he's already poz...
Any thoughts/answers/comments???

[ad2san]

Hi there. Nothing will change if you both use condoms. You'll have a long life and a lot of fun together. 

[unluckylovely]

Thank you Ad2san

He refuses to use a condom, so what could possibly happen if we dont?

[jkinatl2]

I have just started a new relationship and on my last count my cd4 was 1130 and vl 3600..my new partner is on treatment with an undetected vl.  What are my chances of being re-infected and becoming ill again rapidly? and what about my partner, can I make his vl increase?  The thing is he refuses to use a condom and he believes that he cant get a different strain cos he's already poz...
Any thoughts/answers/comments???

There are less than 15 documented instances of re or super-infection, and even they are suspect.

I see absolutely no reason to use condoms in a mutually monogamous relationship with another HIV positive person.

[Matty the Damned]

Thank you Ad2san

He refuses to use a condom, so what could possibly happen if we dont?

As Jonathan notes, re-infection is greatly over-hyped.

But unless you are sure your relationship is securely monogamous you are at the risk of being exposed to other STIs such as gonorrhoea, chlamydia, genital herpes and even the dreaded syphilis.

If you are uncomfortable for whatever reason having unprotected sex and your partner still refuses to use a condom, there is a problem.

There are no easy answers to that kind of situation, other than communication. You gotta talk it out. Nothing worse than a sexual relationship where one partner isn't having fun.

MtD

[unluckylovely]

Thanks Matt for your comments

This is the very first time since my diagnosis that i have entered into a relationship.  I dread the thought of having to disclose to someone who isnt poz and have them shun me like i got the plague or something.  So meeting someone who was honest and upfront about what they have made me like him more.

Because I have read so many things on this topic, i think my brain has been overloaded and I am just not sure anymore.  But I am comforted by the fact that neither of us intend to be sleeping around with others. For me that is difficult as I could not bare the thought of exposing what i have to someone else.

I just needed to know what others think about intimacy without a condom if both parties are poz.  As I said I am not on any treatment and perhaps wont be on any for a number of years to come and I dont want to make things worse for myself let alone my partner

Thanks for the comments so far from everyone else.  I do feel a little more confident and relaxed.

Unluckylovely

[ad2san]

There are less than 15 documented instances of re or super-infection, and even they are suspect.

I see absolutely no reason to use condoms in a mutually monogamous relationship with another HIV positive person.

I fully disagree. There is no proof. I would not take the risk to catch the virus strain of someone under treatment and get its resistance as well, I would rather use a condom (top and bottom).
I wonder what is wrong with condom on your BF side ? Don't he regrets he used one that day he got infected ?

[Ann]

Lovely, if I were you, I wouldn't worry about it where hiv is concerned. The only worry I would have is "does he have some other STI?"

Would he agree to having a full panel of STI testing before you two don't use condoms? You could get tested together, just so it doesn't look like you're unwilling to do something yourself you want/expect him to do. Please be aware that some STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the ONLY way to know for sure is to test.

I've been with a poz partner for five years now (we were together years ago too, this is our second time around). Our clinic regularly tests for other STIs and we both are ok on that score. We don't use condoms. He's been on meds since 2001 and is undetectable. I'm not on meds and my last VL count was 41,000. I have absolutely no fear of either of us getting reinfected.

There are thousands, if not hundreds of thousands or even millions of poz/poz partners who do not use condoms and neither one of them are becoming reinfected.

In the very few cases where they think it's happened (as JK mentioned, the cases are all pretty much suspect), they all involved people who were very newly infected with their first infection. It has never been documented to happen in someone who has been poz for years and it's also never been documented to happen to someone who is on meds and UD.

ad2san, you can be paranoid about reinfection if you want, but there's really no need.

[ad2san]

Hello Ann, I am not paranoid at all  but since our friend is not under medication I think IMHO that the approach in the (new) relationship is not optimum.
I am poz and my BF not, we are having unprotected sex as part of a euro study (university of Copenhagen and London ) to evaluate the real risk of comtimation in magnetic couples. We both agreed to the risk. Out relationship is not new (9 years) so we are mature on this subject 

[unluckylovely]

To Ann

Thanks for your comments,  I really appreciate it.  My new boyfriend is willing to have a test for any STI's and the clinic that looks after me offers regular screening.

I am excited and scared at the same time as initially I vowed to be celebate from the moment I received my diagnosis, but i feel like I have been given a second chance at 'love' with a poz person and I do not want to jeopardize him or myself.

Thanks for the reassurance.

And again to all those who have provided their opinion, I appreciate them to and will always err on the side of caution.

Lovely...