POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: heartforyou on July 26, 2006, 12:19:15 pm
-
I was going to see my best friend Magda this afternoon.
Some gentleman answered the phone asking who I was.
He said he was a police officer.
My only words were : is she still alive, because I knew....
He said : no
Magda had finally gotten a hold of her depression 10 years ago.
She helped me through the worst of mine this year.
Sorry, for the lack of words.
But I loved this person. We shared all our secrets for 20 years.
And see what I do in shock? I turn to my family here.
You all see what you mean to me. I have locked myself in my office and I am writing this post.
Please don't worry. I will be fine
I am just so immensely sad and helpless.
Herman
-
My beautiful friend and soulmate Magda
Just let me share this with you and keep her in your prayers.
She has left this earth not more then 2 hours ago.
Herman
[attachment deleted by admin]
-
Herman,
Your friend certainly found peace but it hurts nevertheless. You have my deepest sympathy Herman.
Regards,
The Canuck
-
Herman... I am so sorry to here about Magda... Friendships are so hard to come by that travel a lifetime. Be there for the family and share your experiences with them....
Love
-
I dont know what to say.... I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you at this most difficult time.
-
.
-
Very sorry for you loss.
-
Oh, Herman, I am so sorry.
I do understand that pain, and it truly hurts my heart to read this.
RIP, Magda.
My love and best thoughts to you, Herman, and all those left behind.
xox
-
Herman,
I am so sorry to hear about the lost of your close friend, Magda. I know what it is like to loose someone to suicide. I hope Magda has found the peace that she was looking for. I know those words don't make the loss anymore bearable. I feel so helpless that I can't be there for you now. I am thinking of Magda & you. She is a lucky person to have such a loving and caring person as you in her life.
I Love You,
Dan
-
Herman,
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and I understand how it feels. I'm (we're) thinking of you.
David
-
My Dear Herman,
Please know that you are loved, and deeply.
In Love.
-
Herman,
No words can express how sorry I am for your loss.
Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs
Teresa
-
Hello Herman,
My deepest condolences go out to you, on the loss of your friend. I am sorry for your loss, be strong..
Ray
-
Herman,
I'm so sorry to hear about this you must be heartbroken. I hope that Magda is at peace now and just know there is always people here who care if you want to vent about it.
Chris
-
I am sorry to hear of your friend's passing. Celebrate her life, and the joy you two had.
You will be in my thoughts today.
-
Herman,
I'm very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts
((HUGS))
-
Herman,
I am very sorry for the loss of your friend and want you to know you and her are in my thoughts.
Pat
-
Dearest Herman,
I am so Sorry to hear of this unfortunate tragedy. I wish you Peace and Comfort during this most difficult time. If there is anything I can do, I am here.
Lots of Love,
Mike
-
Man, unreal; as I get older have lost friends and family, no one is ever prepared when it happens, especially if suddenly. There are no words...sorry.
-
Herman,
Heartfelt condolences.
Morgan
-
Herman,
So very sorry for your loss. At a time like this I am sure no words can truly lender your agony or sooth your dispare. I don't pray very often but this evening before I go to bed I will say a little prayer for the both of you.
-
Dear Herman,
My deepest sympathy to you. I am so sorry about your friend. I hope she is at peace.
Love,
Alan
-
Dearest Herman,
My condolences to your and your best friend Magda. I hope that she is at a better place with no more worries and agony. If you want to vent, I am always here. Take care my friend.
Justin
-
So sorry to hear about your friend.
-
Herman,
Sorry to hear of the loss of your friend Magda, I'm sure you have great memories of your friendsship that will always be with you. With my deepest sympathy.
Doug
-
Dearest Herman,
I am so sorry for your loss.
My heart is with you in your time of need...
and I'm sending warm HUGS your way to comfort you and carry you through.
All my love,
Trish
-
Herman,
I am so sorry for your loss.
Be strong my friend.
You both are in my prayers.
Love
and
my prayers,
Kelly
-
Herman,
I am so sorry. I will keep both of you in my thoughts and prayers, and surround you with loving arms and peace.
Christine
-
Thank you all for your kind words, thought and prayers.
Yes, it makes a big diifference.
I took my dog Lola and went for a walk along the most deserted part of the beach. Must have been there 3 hours. I felt so lost. Tears kept flowing.
I thought of the why's and if's and when's... I heard her on the phone just a day ago and I told her I would be there for her.
Maybe I wasn't there at the right moment.
Magda, I miss you already and it has only been a couple of hours.
Herman
-
I am so sorry Herman. Your friends are our friends. We all hurt a little today.
robert
-
Herman,
My sincere condolences on the tragic departure of your dear friend.
Daniel
-
My deepest sympathies.
-
This is just terrible. I'm at a loss for words except to extend my condolences. I hope you get through this as best you can, Hermie.
-
Dear Herman,
Im trully sorry to hear of your loss. I know what its like to loose a friend this way and it is just devistating to say the least. Take One day at a time and one step at a time.
Your in my prayers brother..
Hugs
Björn
-
for you, herman, and anyone else left empty, lost, by the leaving of someone special
..I want you to live while I wait for you, asleep,
I want your ears still to hear the wind,
I want you to sniff the sea's aroma that we loved together,
to continue to walk on the sand we walked on.
I want what I love to continue to live,
And you whom I love and sang above everything else
To continue to flourish, full flowered:
So that you can reach everything my love directs you to,
So that my shadow can travel along in your hair,
So that everything can learn the reason for my song
pablo neruda, sonnet 89
Kate x
-
Dearest Hermie,
Words can not express how we feel about your loss of such a dear friend. We both know the sort of friend you were to Magda. You give of yourself so much.
Please remember the happy times you shared as they will last you a lifetime.
She will be with you forever.
Until we can hug in person, please accept our love. Ric and Thom
-
Dearest Hermie
No amount of words can describe how sad I feel for you right now..but please know you are both in my prayers today.
Love and hugs
Jan :'(
-
My Precious Herman,
I just read your post......I am so sorry for the loss you have experienced. Please know that you and your friend Magda are in my thoughts.
Love you,
Brian
-
There seems to be so much pain and suffering around and in us right now (you, Matty and Matt). I'm sorry Herman. I hope you find peace, comfort and acceptance in the very difficult decision your friend has taken.
My condolences.
-
Herman,
I am so sorry of the lose of your soul pal. I can not begin to imagine the pain you are going thru. Know that she is at peace now and that you have all your memories to cherish for the rest of your life. Your family here will be here for you. I will say a very special prayer for you and her tonight.
Love, Wendy
-
My Dear Herman,
I am sorry for this loss in your life. Please remember you are very much loved and needed.
I will keep you and Magda in my thoughts.
With love,
Mark
-
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I will pray for your both. I wish you strength during this most difficult time. You are a sweet man.
-
I am very sorry for your loss.
-
So sorry for your loss. Hope you will be okay. Cristy
-
Herman,
I'm so sorry for your loss.
much love,
brian
-
Hello Herman it is Eldon. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I send my deepest sympathy to you.
-
Hermala,
My condolences to you on the loss of your friend.
Vale Magda.
Love,
MtD
(Who would have posted earlier but has been distracted)
-
Herman
I am so sad to hear about your friend. Remember the sweet times with her and may she be at peace.
Your in my prayers.
Blue
-
i'm so sorry Herman.
-
I received some grewsome details today.
Magda appearantly left a suicide not for me. The thought of going to read her final emotions makes me shiver.
It is still in the hands of the investigators, as untill proved different her death is considered a crime.
She has used an overdose of anti-depressants, a plastic bag, that was tied over her head and then she hung herself . She has showed me she REALLY wanted to die.
A far relative has told me there was a note saying she wanted me to have her diary . You can imagine how my stomach shrinks at the idea she will lead me trough her ordeals as it happened.
I will read it.
And I have read her all your wishes and prayers. I did so this morning.
I know she thought she had no choice.
The minute of her passing was probably the happiest moment she had experienced in a long time. To her it must have been the moment she could leave all the physical and mental pain behind her.
This was not an act of despair. This was a very well thought over decision and I will have to live with it.
Thank you all for letting me share this with you.
Herman
-
sorry to hear about your loss. May God Bless You...
I have realized through my own life experiences, that our time here on this Earth, is simply an obstacle course, special training for the soul, so it can proceed to live on. Our soul is what lives on, our memories, are just another thing we leave behind, when the body has quit. Know that she is still with you, just not in the way you are accustom to. Be Happy and Rejoice, as she has completed her training here, and has been accepted in the heavens. Celebrate her Life, and Rejoice in the love you shared.
If Tomorrow Starts Without Me
If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
The thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through Heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did
Some things you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.
-
Herman,
I am so very sorry for the loss of your good friend. Words fail me too, but I am also thinking of you in your time of great sadness.
Take care,
John
-
Dear Herman
Your postings show what a wonderful and supporting person you are. I'm sure Magda would be proud.
I can tell from the smiling photo what a kind person and special friend she was to you and others.
I hope things can get back to normal for you soon as Magda would hope for this too.
Aldous
-
Herman
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.
Prayers have been said nightly for you.
RAB
-
Herman,
Sorry to hear about your loss.
The most important thing is that you don't blame yourself, and it's not your fault!
God bless.
a.
-
sorry to hear about ur lost...I read a poem someone post in here and tears came out from my eyes...
Just remeber that whenever u need her, just close ur eyes and she will be there....what's more u will c her on ur dreams...and I am sure she will say:" U r not alone, I am here with u"...God bless u Herman
-
She loved you Herman ~~and you loved her ~~and love is eternal
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
-
Dear Herman,
I am so sorry to hear that you lost your best friend Magda,
and it makes me sad to know that you have to go through this painful experience.
Wishing you a lot of strength in these difficult times.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs, Eirin
-
Thank you all very much.
Tommorow wednesday her funeral and cremation take place.
I have written a text that I shall read. It will be very hard , but it is the last I can do for her.
Some of the words you people have written or poems will be used in it.
It is only with your presence in my heart that I can do all this.
So Magda is going to get a huge crowd ....
Thnx and love you all.
Hermie :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
-
Goodnight Herman's friend, may your next journey be happy.
(((((HUGS FOR HERMAN)))))
RAB
-
Herman you dear sweet man. My thoughts are with you and I am sorry for your loss.