vinnyd0621:
Hello everyone, I am a 31 year old male from the suburbs of ny. I have been with the same women for eight years who is now my wife and completely faithful. recently I have put myself into deep anxiety of hiv due to a rash that I had back in 2004 which was on my chest and some on my back basically solid with a few stray spots. It did not have papules but I did have a low fever. Other than that no other symptoms. It lasted over 2 months and only went away after I got a suntan. The internet has ruined me. Over these years I have barley ever been sick and if I got even a minor cold it would go away in a day. So here is my risk. I do not recall if it was even around the time of the rash and do not believe the condom broke but do not remember 100%. So here are my questions. Over 8 years I have been having unprotected sex with my wife and last year we tried starting a family and she got pregnant after 4 or five months of trying and lost the baby. During her trips to the doctor she had full blood tests for all stds including hiv and all came out negative. So my question is after over 3000 times of unprotected sex would it be safe to say she would have it? My next question is does the rash sound like the rash associated with hiv, and my last question is I have been told by HIV docotrs on the the internet sites like med help that if I had hiv for so long I would have had problems that would have led to diagnosis. PLEASE HELP. Need some answers and thoughts
Ann:
Vinny,
Just go test and put an end to the speculation.
You cannot know your own status by knowing your partner's status.
Yes, it is possible for you to be infected while not infecting your wife. We've had several hiv negative wives here whose husbands had been hiv positive for a while after their marriage and before the husbands diagnosis - yet the wives were still negative.
Yes, it is possible to have hiv for years and not have any illness that would be an obvious red-flag for hiv. I've been poz for fourteen (nearly fifteen) years. I'm still not on hiv meds and I have not had a single illness during that time that would obviously point to hiv.
Just go test. Testing is the ONLY way to accurately know your hiv status.
You can find a testing center near you by putting your zip code into the search engine at POZ.com's Health Services Directory.
GO TEST. Chances are good that you'll be negative, so go give yourself an early holiday present. Either way, neg or poz, it will be a present. People who wait until they're in hospital fighting for their lives are the main people who are dying of hiv in the USA today. If you are poz, you can take steps to preserve your health. If you're neg, then you can put an end to all of the stressful speculation.
GO TEST. This is non-negotiable!!!
Ann
vinnyd0621:
Thank you ann, I realize this. I am going to the doctor tomorrow. But in most situations after 8 years of unprotected sex the odds of her contracting hiv would be high correct. Also how about the rash? And I have not lived in good health meaning I smoke, dont excersise. And also what about the fact that if I got a cold it would go away the next day and also no swollen glands. I know I have to get the test to know but are the odds in my favor. I know wives have stayed negative but is that the norm.
Ann:
Vinny,
Neither symptoms nor even the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status - ONLY testing will. For that reason, we do not discuss symptoms here.
Once again, just because your wife tested hiv negative the last time she was tested does not mean you are hiv negative. One of the negative wives who used to post on these forums had been with her husband for around ten years when he was diagnosed - and his wasn't a new infection either.
Quit speculating and just go test. Yes, the odds are in your favour, but someone has to win the lottery. GO TEST!
Ann
vinnyd0621:
Thank you Ann I'm getting a blood test today. I have seen posts on thoughts of certain symptoms. I have this crazy obsession with this rash I had. Please tell me if it sounds like ars to you. Also I realize people stay long term without being sick but is that the norm. I'm dying inside and can't wait to put this behind me. I have also been told by doctors that there is only a slim chance my wife would have stayed negative all these years