Just Found This Forum...tested Positive June 16

[ddva616]

and it's been a long few weeks.
It all started with routine follow up blood work with my General Physician for diabetes.  Appointments got screwed up so I ended up having follow ups with in just a few weeks instead of the normal 3 months.   The first labs my platelet counts were dropping and protine
s were elevated....second test even more.  He had a technician call and try to explain the labs but she was more confused about it than I was.  He sent me to a hematologist.  Scared...I googled.   Freaked out.  Found a hematologist that and got an appt on Monday.  I explained my fears from what I found on-line, he said lets just do an HIV test to be safe.  (Keeping mind over the past few years have been hospitalized for several major surgeries that required full blood work and cardiac testing.)

On Thursday, understanding my stress the doctor called and told me the news.  06-16-11 at 4:57PM. For the next few minutes the doctor talked and consoled me, and gave me a referral to a Infectious Disease Specialist.  I could barely write down the number.   My partner came home an hour later, told him immediately...and cried for the next 3 hours.  My god what would I have done without him.  He was so supportive and loving.  He simply said...it's okay, you aren't dying, you will be fine, we will be fine and continued embracing me every time a tear came to my eyes.

Since I have had several visits with the specialists and found a support counsel one on one and group that I'm waiting to book me with.

Doctors have been great!  I've learned more about HIV than I ever cared too.  But I have found out that alot of the fears are myth.  And the basics for transmission are only needles, transfusions and unprotected anal sex accepting fluids.  Bottom Line.   Bleeding gums, kissing, finger prick...all myth and no proven studies on any of it.

Who to tell.  My partner and I decided it would be need to know basis and my closest friends when I am comfortable.

But I can truly relate to anyone newly diagnosed.  Seems like the same story with each person.  Disbelief, shock, how am I going to get through this?   To a degree I still feel alot of this.  Mostly the negative stigma society has placed on it.   For days I found myself walking crowded halls pulling away from people, not wanting to touch anyone.  My stupid brain was in over drive....what...was it going to rub off?   My doctors told me it' is now CHRONIC and not a death sentence as it once was.   Care for yourself and you have a good 50 years to go.  Something else far worse would come along and who knows at the rate the medical industry is going there may be a cure soon...we can hope. 

Still very much welcome any advise or discussion.  You are not alone.   Those who love you will always love you no matter what.

[spacebarsux]

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but Welcome to the Forums.

[Ann]

Hi dd, welcome to the forums.

It sounds like you have a pretty good handle on things and I'm glad to hear you have the support of a loving partner. That's very important. (has he been tested?)

I'm also glad to hear that you've learned about the transmission myths. However, I see another two myths in your post (as well as your post in the Mental Health section).

You said your doctor reckons you've had hiv for five to ten years but please know that is a guess at best. Different people progress at different rates. Some people's numbers indicate the need for meds in the first few years, while others (like myself) can go years and years with very good numbers and no need for meds. The only real way to be able to more accurately estimate the amount of time a person has been infected is if they have been testing regularly and can point to a previous negative result.

Also, you said "Keeping mind over the past few years have been hospitalized for several major surgeries that required full blood work and cardiac testing." This is another myth to which I referred. You cannot tell if a person is hiv negative or hiv positive through "full blood work" - or cardiac testing for that matter. The ONLY way to know your hiv status is through antibody testing. For example, I've been poz for over fourteen years. I'm not on meds and never have been. Yet my "full blood work" returns results that would be typical for someone who is hiv negative.

I'm telling this so you're not thinking that maybe one of your doctors missed something important in your pre-op bloods. They didn't. They would have had to sought your permission for hiv testing and it would seem that they did not do this.

Anyway, onward and upward, eh? You're going to be just fine, so hang in there.

Ann

[ddva616]

thanks Ann, not exactly a club I ever planned on joining.  But it is what it is.  I just need to deal with it.

The doctors best guess was based on my numbers and look at my "normal" blood work and my health and history of possible symptoms...NONE.  So I figure nothing has really changed accept...now I know.  I just have to deal with the stigma and move on.  My partner has been my saving grace.  He has been very very supportive.

He is scheduled for a physical this month and will be tested then.

[Coolio_7]

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I'm sure you'll find a wealth of information and support on this forum. It is helping me tremendously. Welcome to the forums.

[paradiseboy]

iam truly sorry about your diagnosis, i have been poz for one and a half years now,we are here for you hugz...

[alone32]

i am filipino, i live alone in cebu, I just got diagnosed with hiv recently and got none to talk to. I really need help, i guess finding a support group will make me strong in handling this situation. I have a filipino partner who is based in the US i started talking about my fears but his reaction abrupt me from continuing. he dislikes the topic and he get upsets everytime i start to open the topic again.
I felt like my world collapsed after handling the lab results. all my dreams were shattered, my ambition of working abroad and to be with my partner after passing the board exams are now too near to impossible, i am the eldest in the family and i used to help them financially. But, now that ive lost my job, alot of things has been compromised and that includes my health. I dont think that i can finance my medication with the kind of , I cannot afford to talk it to my family coz i know that they all depend on me. 
i hope that i can find help here. i am so scared of my conditions and its implications to my family and my love ones.

[spacebarsux]

Hi alone32, sorry to hear about your diagnosis.

I know your mind is full of many thoughts and fears, at the moment. While a poz diagnosis is a traumatic event, it is not the end of the world, tens of thousands have gotten through the experience and you will too.  .

While it may be difficult at first, in time you will adjust to this news and make the necessary changes in your life and get on with it because your life will still be good.

In time you will realise that you are the same person and the only thing that has changed is that you also have this virus to manage in your life.

On another note, in case you already haven't done so, it is important you go to an Infectious Disease Specialist in your country who will carry out tests to monitor the illness, which is essential to keep you healthy.

Welcome to the forums buddy.

PS- You might want to start a new thread for yourself.  

[alone32]

thanks for immediate response.
I was referred to see and Infectious Disease Doctor and thus warrant me to have another test. I dont think that i can afford to pay those professional fee's and laboratory test. HIV RNA and CD4 count. its costly here. Do you know a support group here in Cebu that i can see. I don't want to die. Now ive noticed that the white spots on my tongue are worsening, i am experiencing intermittent fever too, and diarreah. im really scared. my current weight now is 113lbs i used to be 118lbs.
im taking virgin coconut oil. as part of my diet they say it helps combat the virus.

[spacebarsux]

Relax. You are NOT going to die or anything.

You don't say how long you have been infected. If yours is a recent infection you might not need medication right away. If you think you have been infected for a while and your CD4 count is beginning to show a downward trend then you might need to start medication. (If your CD4 is above 500 then your immune system is still healthy. In some countries doctors suggest starting medication when CD4 hovers around 350 or so, some start earlier)

Either way, it is imperative you go to an ID specialist and carry out a CD4 test and viral load test. The test results will tell you how your immune system is functioning.

I am sorry I can't help you regarding the healthcare system in the Phillipines as I don't know much about it. I live in India and in this country the Government Hospitals provide free/subsidised HIV care to HIV+ individuals, which includes CD4tests, viral load test and monitoring etc etc.

The Govt hospitals also provide FREE ARVs once the patient commences therapy. I am fairly certain the Philippines must have something similar.

All the best.

[alone32]

thanks spacebarsux,

you never know how much you consoled me.
please help me find a support group in Cebu... I need to see them and solicit strengths from them. I really dont know what to.
I also need to find a work so that i can live a life fruitfully and finance my medication or healthcare insurance...
i've lost my job because of this, maybe i can bounce back and get a new job that will not discriminate me because of my conditions.

[Ann]

Hi Alone, welcome to the forums.

You'll be able to find hiv/aids organisations in the Philippines at aidsmap.com. There are thirteen listed but none of them are in Cebu. Hopefully one or more are close enough for you to visit. You may also contact one (or more) of them - there may be a clinic close to you that is not listed at aidsmap. Good luck.

[alone32]

thank you so much ann.

being solitary in situation finding someone like me or a support group would be a great help  to keep me sane. I am having so many sleepless nights already. the fatigue and stress of having this is killing me softly. i don't want to loose that small hope that things are going to be fine and there are people like me who will give me strength and show me the way that i can still continue living a normal life.
Im glad that i found this site and the admin approved me.
Now, we draw strengths from one another.
i have checked the addresses in the aidsmap, they're all in manila...
Now, I need to start contacting them and letting them know the conditions of PLHIVA in Cebu. Maybe they will support me to start a support group based in Cebu. According the the Doctor who handed me my results that Cebu is a hotspot of HIV and many cases have been reported. Awareness, Support, should be the key to control the spread of the Virus.
 

[spacebarsux]

There should be support groups in Cebu if you look online and elsewhere a little bit. Ask your doctor and/or the hospitals and maybe they can give you some info.

In the meantime and even afterwards this site is a great support and source of information.

Hang in there mate.