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Author Topic: OK - Am I Crazy  (Read 5766 times)

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Offline PeteNYNJ

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OK - Am I Crazy
« on: November 22, 2008, 07:49:06 pm »
I invited my recent ex to my family's thanksgiving.   I felt bad he would be by himself.  My family likes him and my niece LOVES him.   He will be staying at my house that night - I don't want it to be sexual but we will sleep in the same bed due my my tiny apartment.  How do I create boundaries without making it uncomfortable?
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Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2008, 07:51:22 pm »
Wear ugly pajamas... with footies.
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Offline denb45

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2008, 09:05:02 pm »
Quote from: PeteNYNJ on November 22, 2008, 07:49:06 pm
I invited my recent ex to my family's thanksgiving.   I felt bad he would be by himself.  My family likes him and my niece LOVES him.   He will be staying at my house that night - I don't want it to be sexual but we will sleep in the same bed due my my tiny apartment.  How do I create boundaries without making it uncomfortable?

Tell him  NO, most people know what that means, if he doesn't like that, he can go sleep in a Motel  ???
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"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline leatherman

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2008, 09:07:30 pm »
Quote from: GSOgymrat on November 22, 2008, 07:51:22 pm
Wear ugly pajamas... with footies.
or maybe try some of that green face-mask goop and rollers in your hair  :D

but really, if I was in your position, I think I'd be sure to stay clothed, point out his side of the bed, climb in, say good night and turn off the light while mumbling something about a long day and glad to be getting to sleep. Any funny business just use the "i'm tired" line again or say "thanks, but I'd rather not"

I guess it all depends on how the relationship ended, how well he takes hints, and how adamant you are about not doing any hanky-panky.  ;)

and by the way, what a nice gesture on your part  ;D The holidays shouldn't have to be spent alone.
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leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
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Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2008, 09:34:35 pm »
Quote from: leatherman on November 22, 2008, 09:07:30 pm
I think I'd be sure to stay clothed, point out his side of the bed, climb in, say good night and turn off the light while mumbling something about a long day and glad to be getting to sleep. Any funny business just use the "i'm tired"

Sounds like someone has been married.  ;)
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Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2008, 09:49:38 pm »
You could have a "sleep-over" and stay up all night with your hair in rollers, doing your nails, giggle and call boys... the alternative, "I have a headache, go to sleep".   ;D  Have the best day
Michael
(who is spending Thanxgiving and Christmas alone) 
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Offline weasel

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2008, 10:30:51 pm »
It is really nice of you  to envite your EX for thanksgiving

 says so much about where you are coming from  :-*

  If it were me ?

  I would sleep in what ever it is I felt comfortable .

  Do not make the mistake of bringing up no sex ,after you are ready for bed !

  Start the day off with pleasant talk ,but be clear you are being  a friend and not a lover .

  GOD bless you for being so kind hearted , makes me feel warm and fuzzy  :)

  I could never sleep with a man and not touch at least a foot or a cuddle .

 But that is  what we do everynight  :o

                         Have a great thanksgiving , I think  the EX will be a gentleman  :)

                                                    Turkey makes me tired  ;)
                                                                                          Karl

 
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Offline denb45

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2008, 11:02:11 pm »
Quote from: leatherman on November 22, 2008, 09:07:30 pm


and by the way, what a nice gesture on your part  ;D The holidays shouldn't have to be spent alone.

Oh, I spent it alone before, back in 91 when my 1st partner died, I however ended up at a soup kitchen serving holiday meals to the Homeless, it was wonderful to do, and it kept my mind off of what had happened a month before the holidays  ;D some people are always less fortunate than others  ;D
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"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Life

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2008, 04:32:49 am »
I don't know about you but not being sexual with a guy in the same bed is a fairly difficult maneuver. The curlers and face cream is certainly a deterrent, but not a guarantee.  Time to hit Bed Bath and Beyond and get an Areo-Bed..  It comes in handy for all sorts of occasions besides the Ex visit(s). 

Its ever so nice for you to make hisThanksgiving special.  I hope the karma rubs off and that you both have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Eric
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Offline bear60

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #9 on: November 23, 2008, 11:55:50 am »
OR.....you can decide that he's an ex with priviledges. He must be pretty hot or you wouldnt be having this conversatuion.
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Offline Basquo

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #10 on: November 23, 2008, 12:20:57 pm »
Quote from: bear60 on November 23, 2008, 11:55:50 am
OR.....you can decide that he's an ex with priviledges. He must be pretty hot or you wouldnt be having this conversatuion.

No shit.  Just do him!
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Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #11 on: November 24, 2008, 05:05:17 pm »
LOL  Thanks for the advice guys

He is pretty cute - I don't do ugly :)

I think it will be fine - I just don't want any drama.  He is pretty chill guy (sometimes to a fault) so I am sure it will be ok.
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Offline denb45

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #12 on: November 24, 2008, 06:25:39 pm »
Quote from: PeteNYNJ on November 24, 2008, 05:05:17 pm
LOL  Thanks for the advice guys

He is pretty cute - I don't do ugly :)

I think it will be fine - I just don't want any drama.  He is pretty chill guy (sometimes to a fault) so I am sure it will be ok.

....and besides, he may not even want to have any SEX with you, he is your EX isn't he?
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"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #13 on: November 24, 2008, 06:40:23 pm »
What, doesnt everyone want to have sex with me ?  lol

Thanks denb45 for keeping me grounded  ;D
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Offline David_CA

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #14 on: November 25, 2008, 08:28:07 am »
Quote from: Basquo on November 23, 2008, 12:20:57 pm
No shit.  Just do him!

A man after my own heart!   ;)
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Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #15 on: November 25, 2008, 06:09:00 pm »
To hell with it all.  Have sex.  You only live once.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhkLKsr_NsE&feature=related
« Last Edit: November 25, 2008, 06:11:24 pm by red_Dragon888 »
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Offline Basquo

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #16 on: November 25, 2008, 06:23:17 pm »
Quote from: red_Dragon888 on November 25, 2008, 06:09:00 pm
To hell with it all.  Have sex.  You only live once.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhkLKsr_NsE&feature=related

Showing him that Spice Girls video would be like giving him salt petre. Talk about a boner shrinker!
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Offline mecch

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #17 on: November 28, 2008, 05:29:26 am »
Yes I would say you are crazy - or rather ambivalent -- about your ex.

The scenario you have set up has "wrong" or "danger" written all over it.

So, now, please, don't keep us in suspense, what happened last night???

hubbahubba
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tendai

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #18 on: November 28, 2008, 08:28:28 am »
yeah man, spill it, we're dying to know ;D
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Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #19 on: November 28, 2008, 02:36:20 pm »
we had a lovely day at my parents house followed by movies, wine, and nice conversation at my house after.  We fell asleep, had a nice quiche this morning I made and he left.

No nookie - just a little cuddling which was nice.


I am glad I invited him..I feel I got brownie points with God (and lord knows I need as many as I can get)
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Offline mecch

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #20 on: November 28, 2008, 05:54:15 pm »
Well I dunno. Kudos to you.  Even though I broke up with my ex, I miss him terribly sometimes and I don't think I could put myself in such a vulnerable place... 
Happy Thanksgiving!
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“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline denb45

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #21 on: November 28, 2008, 05:56:29 pm »
Quote from: mecch on November 28, 2008, 05:54:15 pm
Well I dunno. Kudos to you.  Even though I broke up with my ex, I miss him terribly sometimes and I don't think I could put myself in such a vulnerable place... 
Happy Thanksgiving!

I miss both of my ex, but unfortunately they are DEAD from AIDS, and no longer have the pressure of being alive  ??? it's not like I can call or write to them....DEATH is final hunnie
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"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline mecch

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #22 on: November 29, 2008, 04:05:38 am »
My dear Denb,

I'm not sure how you want me to take that news... Also don't want to hijack this thread.  Its really sad to lose a lover... One of mine killed himself because of this virus, in the 80s, and he was suffering horribly.  Another died in the 90s (after we were already broke up). I and many other people miss them both a lot.

As for dealing with the living ones - I really admire Petes emotional strength.


« Last Edit: November 29, 2008, 04:07:31 am by mecch »
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Offline BUZZCUTT

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Re: OK - Am I Crazy
« Reply #23 on: November 29, 2008, 12:11:23 pm »
I say play it by ear - but i am leaning toward what Basque said ;)
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